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ARYA

My second yoga class with the California Condors is making me even more nervous than the first one.

Okay, maybe it’s actually Harrison Wynn who’s making me nervous.

Confession time: I googled him.

I had no idea who his father is, and that his father owns the team he plays for. When he said he has a high-achieving family, wow, he really meant it. I can understand better now why he feels so pressured to be a success.

There wasn’t a lot about him online, to be honest, which could be good or bad. At least there aren’t horrible stories about him drunk driving or abusing his girlfriend, although those could be buried. I see pictures of him in Pasadena with a boy who’s his little brother through Big Brothers, and him participating in a charity event to help the homeless. He’s a little pushy, a lot flirty, and making comments about us being “meant to be” panicked me. But those stories and a lack of anything negative reassure me and even make me like him more.

I don’t know how to handle this. It’s been almost two years since my life was shattered, and I haven’t been interested in dating since then. Guys have asked me out, sure, but it’s been easy to say no. I prefer being on my own.

But Harrison tempts me. I don’t know what to do about that.

I didn’t even tell Taj about him coming to class yesterday and then going out for a drink with him. I’m afraid Taj will think that sounds very stalkerish and I was stupid to go out with him. Maybe it was. But I’m fine.

I got a definite tingle in my girl parts yesterday during class, a combination of the sexy tunes and Harrison’s body. And it continued into our, uh, date. My belly was flip-flopping and my inner muscles clenching, thinking about being naked with him.

Vibrators are great and all, but sex with a real live man? Nothing better.

It’s been a while.

Anyhoo, here I am back at the Coliseum in a room full of muscles, deep voices and testosterone, and I only have eyes for Harrison.

He’s wearing his new shorts, which hopefully are keeping his kibbles ’n bits nice and secure. Oh God. Now I’m hot.

He catches my eye but doesn’t come over to me this time. He bends over to roll out his mat and my gaze lands on his bootylicious behind. Damn.

I am capable of anything.

I go inside myself to find my focus before beginning the class.

“This time we’ll work a little harder,” I tell the team. “You guys are all big and strong, so we’ll focus on some specific things, like balance and range of motion. In yoga, you’re using your muscles in ways that are different than hockey, which helps with strength and stability. We’ll also be releasing tension and stiffness, keeping you loose and open. Improved stability and better range of motion means more efficient performance. Does anyone have any questions before we start?” I look around.

One player lifts a hand. “How often do we have to do these before we start seeing results?”

I smile. “Yoga isn’t like the other kinds of training you do. It’s a practice. Your focus should be on being present, and not so much on the end result. Over time, your practice will change as you become more flexible and stronger. So don’t worry about results or competing with each other.”

Another man raises his hand. “I heard yoga is good for sex. Is that true?”

Everyone else laughs. I smile and open my mouth to speak.

“Jesus, Archie.” Harrison speaks up.

I look over at him. He’s scowling at his teammate.

“That’s not appropriate,” he adds.

I blink.

“Well, I think flexibility would help with a lot of different sex positions,” Archie says. “Right, Arya? I bet you’re really flexible.”

My eyes fly open wide when Harrison jumps up from his mat, takes two giant steps over and gets right in Archie’s face. “Apologize for that.”

“Jesus man, what the fuck?”

The atmosphere in the room changes, thickening, a few guys muttering.

“Chill, dudes.” Wyatt also stands but stays on his mat.

Harrison is giving Archie a stare down and I’m a little worried he’s going to punch him. This is not good.

“It’s okay, Harrison,” I say in a soothing tone. “It’s actually a legitimate question.”

“Not the way he asked it,” Harrison growls, not looking at me. “Apologize.”

“Sorry, Arya,” Archie says.

I try to act unfazed. “Of course yoga can help improve your sex life,” I say, as if this is a natural topic for me to be discussing with twenty-some men. If better sex convinces them to participate, fine. “Not just the flexibility, but energy levels. Being present in the moment. With a clear mind, it’s easier to be truly intimate with someone. All right, let’s begin. Harrison, you can return to your mat.”

Still frowning, he sits on his mat and we start the class.

Now I’m really going deep for focus. I need to compartmentalize and set aside what just happened to think about later. Yoga has helped me do this in the past, paying attention to my body, being in the moment.

We end with reclining Bound Angle Pose.

“This is great for opening up the hips,” I tell the men, padding between mats to observe them. “If you have a groin strain or this feels hard on your knees, just slide your feet out and make the diamond a little bigger.” I adjust one player’s feet. “Can you move them in a little closer?” I help him with that.

I slide blocks under Archie’s knees to support them.

“The longer you lie like this, the more your body will relax into the stretch. You can also use some blankets under your back and head to make it more comfortable.”

Today’s music is classic rock, so I let them relax into this pose to “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones.

I pass by Harrison and crouch beside him. I shouldn’t look, but I do. There’s a lovely bulge in his shorts. I yank my gaze away from there. “Okay?” I murmur.

“Yes.” His eyes remain closed.

We end the class with Jeff Buckley’s rendition of “Hallelujah.”

“When you feel ready, get up slowly and continue your day. Namaste.”

I remain in Savasana a moment longer, then roll to my side and rise. Some players are rolling up their mats, other still relax on the floor. Harrison is lying, eyes closed, his face peaceful.

I breathe in slowly. I was attracted to him before, but that was nothing to how I feel now, having seen him confront his teammate about his somewhat inappropriate comment to me. He defended me. I want to jump him.

Sweet jumping Jesus, what is happening to me?

I had met briefly with Gary before class to see if I needed to make any changes to what I’m doing, so I can leave now. I store my mat in the special pouch of my yoga bag.

“Arya.”

I look up to see Archie.

“I hope I didn’t offend you,” he says, not making eye contact, all awkward. “I apologize if I did.”

It’d be easy to say “it’s fine” or “don’t worry about it.” But I’ve learned some lessons. “I guess you didn’t think that I might feel uncomfortable talking about sex in a room full of men.”

His cheeks redden. “Uh, no, I didn’t.”

“Let’s keep the class to more appropriate topics.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He nods and bolts.

I pick up my bag and start out of the room. Harrison steps in front of me. “Thanks for a great class,” he says. “Sorry about Archie.”

“He just apologized again. I clarified my expectations.”

“Well, good.” He smiles, his eyes warm.

We look at each other for a stretched-out moment, neither of us saying anything. Heat slides through my veins. I feel a compelling tug of attraction drawing me to him.

“Well, see you,” he says. “You have my number.”

He walks away.

I blink a few times as I watch him, bemused.

Okay, then.

I turn and leave.

I do have his number. I just don’t know if I have the nerve to use it.

* * *

After my classes at Prana, ending at seven, I meet up with Janey for dinner at Buttons. They have the heaters going on the patio, so we sit outside.

I’ve just taken my seat when I hear my name. “Arya! Hi!”

I look over a couple of tables and see Everly, Taylor, and their friend who came to one of my SUP classes. The infamous dunking SUP class. I smile and lift a hand.

Everly stands up and approaches the table. “How are you?”

“Good, you?”

“I am great. Would you like to join us? We have room for two more at our table.”

“Oh.” I glance at Janey. She smiles in agreement. I’m not so sure, though. This is Harrison’s sister. “Uh... we don’t want to intrude.”

“Oh, you won’t be. The more the merrier, right?”

“Okay, sure. That’s nice of you.”

She leads the way over to a bigger, round table. I introduce Janey to Everly and Taylor, but I don’t remember the other woman’s name.

“My friend Lacey,” Everly says. “Well, she’s my friend but she’s also my niece-in-law.”

I laugh. “Okay. That sounds complicated.”

“Right?” Lacey grins. “I’m married to her nephew.”

“Who’s a year older than me,” Everly adds. “Our family is weird.”

And, thanks to Google, I know who her family is now. “Speaking of family,” I say casually, “I’m teaching your brother and your, uh... boyfriend?”

Her eyes widen. “Wyatt? Yes, he’s my boyfriend.”

“I’m teaching the hockey team yoga classes.”

“Oh! That’s awesome.”

“Yes, the team hired me to teach classes a couple of times a week, depending on their schedule.”

“It’ll be so good for them!”

“That’s fabulous,” Taylor adds. “Uh, hopefully not on the water, though.”

I laugh. “No, I’m doing the class in their training room at the arena.”

“Good, good.”

They’ve already ordered drinks, but a server approaches and takes drink orders from Janey and me. “Margaritas are on happy hour special,” he tells us. “Any flavor.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll have a... blackberry margarita.”

“Great choice.” He turns to Janey, who orders a pomegranate one.

“So, how long have you been teaching yoga?” Everly asks me, dipping her straw in and out of her margarita, which appears to be classic lime on the rocks.

I give them a bit of my bio, similar to what I told Harrison yesterday.

I haven’t mentioned that Harrison came to one of my other classes and we went out after. I feel I’m hiding something, but I’m not sure I should make it into a big deal.

We chat, learning more about each other. I learn what Everly does with the Condors Foundation, Taylor’s speech pathologist career, and Lacey’s fascinating work as a makeup artist doing movies and styling for a few up-and-coming stars. Janey tells them about her job as a veterinary assistant.

“Oh!” Everly exclaims. “We needed you at Christmas!”

She tells a story about Taylor’s dog eating chocolate and being sick, which is hilarious but only because the dog is okay, thankfully.

“We were all freaking out,” she says.

“ You weren’t,” Lacey puts in. “As always, you were cool, calm, and collected.”

“Inside, I was freaking out.”

“Chocolate can be so dangerous,” Janey says. “Thank goodness he was okay.”

“It’s amazing Taylor forgave JP,” Everly says, leaning her shoulder into Taylor’s. “She loves that dog so much.”

“So does he,” Taylor says. “He felt terrible.”

“JP? He was with you at that stand-up class?” I ask.

“Yes.”

I nod, remembering everyone, noting their names.

“He’s also my nephew,” Everly says.

“How do you keep the family straight?” I ask Taylor and Lacey with a smile.

“It was weird at first, but I’ve got it down now,” Lacey says.

“Harrison mentioned that he had a complicated family,” I say.

Three sets of female eyes laser in on me. “Oh. Did he?” Everly says.

“We, uh, went out for a drink together yesterday. After class.”

Three pairs of eyebrows shoot up. Janey grins, enjoying the reaction. She already knows about this.

“Well,” Taylor says.

I divide a tentative smile between them. “Is that a problem?”

“No!” they all say at once.

Our drinks arrive and I grab my margarita. Everly lifts her nearly empty glass. “I think I’m gonna need another one of these.”

“Of course.” The server looks at Lacey and Taylor.

“Bring ’em,” Lacey says.

I smile.

“Not a problem at all,” Everly assures me. “We’re just... curious.”

“It was nothing,” I say. “Just a drink.” I don’t tell them about my embarrassing freak-out.

“I thought you had a boyfriend.” Everly says.

“No.” I blink at her.

“That guy at the paddleboard place... where you have your classes... what’s his name?”

“Oh, Taj! No, he’s just a friend. And my roommate. We live together.”

“He is freakin’ gorgeous,” Lacey says.

“He’s also gay,” I add. “So definitely not my boyfriend.”

“Ah. Okay, then.” Everly nods.

Their drinks arrive, we order food, then Lacey says, “Okay you guys, I have to tell you about this new pillow I got.”

“Pillow?” Taylor tips her head.

“It’s a sex pillow.”

“Whaaat?” We all gape at her.

“Not even kidding. It’s amazing!”

“What does it do?” I ask curiously.

“It helps get you in the right positions. It’s made by this company, Femme Products. Have you heard of it?”

We all shake our heads.

“The owner of the company, or I should say one of them, is married to a hockey player. Former hockey player.”

“Who?” Everly asks.

“Jared Rupp. He used to play for the Chicago Aces.”

“Oh yeah. How about that.”

“They make sex products just for women.”

“That’s very cool. Tell us more.”

“It’s kind of small, and soft, and sort of wedge-shaped.” She uses her hands to demonstrate. “You can put it under your hips, and it tips things up so you get, ah, maximum contact where you need it.” Lacey grins. “Or you can put it under your armpit...” She gestures. “If you’re lying on your side and he’s behind you. All kinds of positions.”

Everly sighs. “I guess I better just get over hearing about my nephews having sex.”

Janey and I laugh. “That must be weird,” Janey agrees. “I need this pillow.”

“You can order it online,” Lacey says. “It’s called the Cush.”

I make a mental note of this; not sure why. As I may have mentioned, I haven’t had sex in ages. But I’ve been thinking about it the last little while...

With Everly’s brother. She probably doesn’t want to hear that either.

“So, back to you and Harrison,” Lacey says, leaning forward and looking at me. “Are you going to see him again?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“So, he asked you out again?” Taylor pounces on that.

“Well, yes.” I suck my bottom lip between my teeth. “I’m not really into dating, so I didn’t commit to anything.”

“Not into dating?” Everly eyes me with sympathy. “Bad relationship?”

It would be easy to agree and let it go. But I like these women and I feel comfortable with them, and making friends and building connections with people means being honest. “Not exactly,” I say slowly, glancing at Janey. She knows what happened to me, but she also knows I don’t talk about it much. “A few years ago, I went out with a guy I met on a dating app. He seemed really nice and fun, and I agreed to see him again. But he got... weird.” I drop my gaze briefly, then look back up to see all the women regarding me with somber expressions, as if they know what’s coming. “He dropped by my apartment before we even went out again. I’d let him pick me up on our first date, which was a mistake. It creeped me out a bit, but I was also sort of flattered. I thought he really liked me.”

I sip my drink as everyone nods.

“We went out again, but he came on so strong and it made me uneasy, and I told him I didn’t want to see him again. He was pissed. He turned into a stalker, phoning me and texting me, showing up at home and at my work.”

“That’s so scary,” Everly says quietly.

“Yeah. It was. He started getting threatening. He slashed the tires on my car.”

“Oh my God.” Taylor’s eyes widen. “Did you call the police?”

“Yeah, but they didn’t take it very seriously, even though I told them he was following me everywhere.”

“Fuck,” mutters Lacey.

“Then he...” I pause, take a breath, and say, “One night after work I was on my way to the gym and he followed me and attacked me with a knife.”

Their mouths all drop open in horror. Everly presses her hand to her lips, eyes dark. “Oh no.”

“I was lucky, someone called the cops. I had a lot of cuts on my arms and hands from trying to defend myself, and I ended up in the hospital.” I haven’t told this story many times, but this time it feels easier. I feel stronger. I straighten my shoulders and attempt a smile. “That’s why I moved here to California. I needed to get away.”

“He better be in prison,” Everly says fiercely.

“He is.” I nod. “The trial was short because he pled guilty, but it was still excruciating, and... I’m glad he’s locked up, but still, I wanted to get away from the memories.”

“You’re amazing.” Taylor reaches out and squeezes my hand. “We had no idea you’ve been through something like that. You’re so composed and... at peace.”

I make a face. “I don’t always feel that way. But it’s getting better.” My smile is genuine now. “My life is good.”

“That’s why you don’t want to see Harrison again?” Everly asks quietly.

I bite my lip, nodding.

“He’s not like that.” She holds my gaze. “Really. He’s a goof, but he’s a good guy.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She’s his sister. She knows him. “Don’t tell him about this.”

Her eyebrows pull together. “Why not?”

“It’s... a lot to deal with.”

Her lips push out, her eyes shadowed, but she moves her head up and down in agreement. “Okay.”

* * *

As Janey and I leave, standing on the sidewalk outside the restaurant while I unlock my bike, I say, “I hope that was okay that we joined them.”

“Sure! They’re all really nice. It’s fun meeting new people.”

“Oh good.”

“Small world, though, that you just went out with Harrison and then meet up with his sister.”

“I know. I wasn’t sure what to say about that.”

“Are you going to see him again? I feel like you want to.”

“I do.”

She squeezes my hand, her silky black hair blowing in the breeze off the ocean. “You need to do what you’re comfortable with.”

“Thanks.” We hug and then I set off for home on my bike.

Taj is out when I get there. I toss my bag onto my bed and pull out my phone. Then I sit on the couch and stare at Harrison’s name and number.