Page 33

Chapter 33

Sawyer

Sawyer woke with a scream caught in her throat. She flew up in bed, scrambling to get the covers off. Her heart raced. It was hard to breathe, and tears streamed down her cheeks. Yanking her nightgown up, her movements were jerky as she frantically patted down her bare, flat stomach.

A sob broke free. “Oh, Brian,” Sawyer whispered brokenly. “Oh, mon bel amour .”

He’s gone, long ago. Just a nightmare.

Sawyer laid back down and held a hand to her chest, waiting for her erratic pulse to slow. Tears seeped out, mixing with the drying sweat against her hairline. Her back felt damp as well, the nightgown clinging to her skin. No matter how much time passed, how many nightmares plagued Sawyer’s subconscious, or how many tears she shed, the agony of losing Brian somehow felt infinite.

Sniffling, she slipped from the bed, careful not to jar the sleeping woman next to her. McCoy . Fragments of the night before returned as Sawyer padded the few feet to her bathroom. Warmth settled over the abysmal ache in her chest, and as she peeled off her nightgown and bra and stepped into the shower, the pleasant memory of McCoy showing up was full front in her mind. McCoy had anticipated what Sawyer needed before she even knew. How was that possible? It was like she understood Sawyer in a way no one had before. McCoy had known Sawyer was upset last night, but instead of prying and possibly pushing her away, she had made up a ridiculous excuse of needing comfort. The gentle manipulation was obvious, but rather than the crap Olivier would often pull, McCoy’s antics had been out of the goodness of her heart. And Sawyer had welcomed it.

After her shower, Sawyer dried off in front of the vanity mirror, taking a good long look at her face and paying close attention to the dips and leathery ridges of her bad side. Not once in the last fifteen years had she seen the melted skin and considered it beautiful. But McCoy had. In fact, she’d spent so much time kissing the scar that Sawyer could almost believe she meant it.

McCoy was still sound asleep when Sawyer returned, positioned halfway on her stomach with her arm draped across the space Sawyer had vacated. The sliver of light from the bathroom cast a faint glow around McCoy’s youthful features. Sawyer didn’t think anyone had ever been so attractive to her, but it went well beyond her handsome face and muscular, tattooed arms. McCoy was a rarity in the world. She was protective, yet instinctually subservient, and Sawyer gravitated toward her. For the first time in Sawyer’s life, she wanted someone to see all her scars—on the inside and the outside. She wanted to confide in McCoy, tell her things not even Bree knew. She wanted someone she could trust to share her burden, and she theirs.

“McCoy,” Sawyer whispered, bending to scatter kisses across her face. Her lips found McCoy’s bare shoulder, and nipped the skin. She was wide awake now, a sense of urgency in her movements as she gently shook McCoy. Her hand slid down McCoy’s back to cup her ass through her boxers. That did the trick.

“Whaa—? I’m-I’m up, yes,” McCoy mumbled, fluttering her long lashes open and peering up at Sawyer. A sleepy grin appeared. “Why, hello.”

“Are you serious about your intentions with me? I don’t play games, McCoy.”

McCoy blinked, the sleep fading slowly in her eyes. “As serious as a heart attack.” Then she cringed, muttering, “Sorry. Terrible, terrible joke.”

Sawyer opened her mouth, ready to spill the nightmare she’d had, but froze. She didn’t want to share more sorrow in the last few hours they’d have before work became priority once again. She wanted to feel closer to McCoy, yes, but not through shared pain, not now.

“Kiss me,” she instructed softly. She needed McCoy’s lips on her like she needed her next breath. She laid down beside McCoy again, facing her, and reached for her hand. Their eyes met in the dim light, and Sawyer slowly brought McCoy’s hand to her towel, whispering, “Now. Kiss me everywhere, darling.” Make me feel beautiful. “I want you.” I need you . God, did she ever. The realization terrified Sawyer, and yet, there was a fluttery sensation mounting in her belly as she gazed at McCoy’s lips.

“Whatever you want, Sawyer,” McCoy breathed, eyes heavy with lust. She shifted so that she was on top rather than beside Sawyer, the chin-length strands of her top-knot tickling Sawyer as she lowered her head for a kiss. “You’ve got a chokehold on me, sweetheart, and I’m not even mad,” McCoy dropped light kisses along her jawline to her ear. Then she scraped her teeth over Sawyer’s earlobe before sucking it into her mouth.

Sawyer’s back arched off the bed, and she clung to McCoy, a faint moan escaping her. She angled her head, exposing her neck to McCoy, desperate for more. The younger woman didn’t disappoint.

“Oh god.” Tingles erupted inside her with the stroke of McCoy’s tongue along her neck and shoulder. Goosebumps broke out over her arms, and her nipples tightened. McCoy alternated between using her tongue and teeth to drop open-mouth kisses and love bites along Sawyer’s skin, and as her mouth worked, her hands were busy rubbing a sensuous path up and down Sawyer’s arms.

“You have the softest skin,” McCoy marveled, her heated gaze catching Sawyer’s. Her hands slipped into Sawyer’s, and she placed soft kisses over her knuckles, her fingertips. She sucked Sawyer’s index finger into her mouth, and Sawyer’s breath hitched in her throat.

“McCoy,” she started, going to pull away, but McCoy held her still.

“Shh, it’s okay,” McCoy said softly, flashing an impish grin before stroking the length of her tongue up Sawyer’s middle finger. Sawyer’s pulse kicked up as she watched, transfixed on what McCoy was doing. Her whole body felt flushed and warm all over like she was having a hot flash. “I’m going to kiss, and lick, and suck, and nibble every inch of you. How does that sound?”

Sawyer’s mouth went dry. “You play a switch very well.”

“Mmm.” Another finger disappeared inside McCoy’s mouth. Sawyer’s breath left her body, her pelvis arching up to grind against McCoy’s thigh. McCoy withdrew again, letting go of Sawyer’s finger with a pop . She closed the small gap between them, her lips brushing Sawyer’s as she whispered, “But being a switch isn’t a game. It’s who I am.”

“Yes.” Sawyer could see that now, and her eyes closed as McCoy swiped her tongue across her lips before kissing her deeply. Sawyer sighed, untangling her hands from McCoy’s to wrap around her strong body. Her fingers roamed the contours of McCoy’s back, and with each touch, McCoy’s muscles twitched. Her body was so different than Olivier’s had been. McCoy was strong, yet her skin was so soft, and although her form was stockier than most women Sawyer knew, there was no mistaking the feminine curves of her hips or, as Sawyer stroked her foot up McCoy’s calf, her soft, hairless legs.

McCoy reached for the opening on Sawyer’s towel, her mouth leaving Sawyer’s and kissing a wet path down her throat as she pulled the material back, inch by agonizing inch. A hand passed down Sawyer’s naked torso, and Sawyer squirmed, her nipples stiffening into two hard peaks at the brief contact.

“What are you doing?” she croaked as McCoy sat back on her haunches to watch her. Sawyer flushed under the younger woman’s smoldering gaze. She was too exposed like this. Even in the semi-darkness, McCoy could see the rest of her scars if she looked close enough. She opened her mouth, a demand for the lights to be off at the tip of her tongue.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Sawyer,” McCoy gushed, reaching for her now. She slid her hands up Sawyer’s legs, past her throbbing center, over her small mommy pooch, that no matter how much she ran, Sawyer still couldn’t fully rid herself of, to cup her breasts. McCoy’s thumbs circled her nipples before tugging on them. Sawyer gasped. “You drive me crazy. I’m so wet for you right now, and we’re just getting started.”

“You’re wet?” Sawyer couldn’t help the disbelief in her tone. How could McCoy be so turned on already? Sawyer had barely touched her.

“Mm-hmm. Kissing you, tasting your skin has me all worked up,” McCoy admitted. She moved down Sawyer’s body once more, starting on her feet with open mouth kisses. Everywhere she touched, she left a wet path in her wake. Sawyer’s body thrummed from the attention, the care, and the patience McCoy was putting into pleasing her. She expertly avoided kissing too close to Sawyer’s inner thighs, instead using her teeth and tongue in sensitive areas Sawyer hadn’t known existed. Who knew the back of her knee or the inside of her wrist could make her squirm and moan?

“McCoy,” Sawyer whimpered as McCoy rolled her onto her stomach. Seconds later, the heat of her body was pressing into Sawyer’s ass, and her lips dragging over Sawyer’s back, the nape of her neck. Her hands slid under Sawyer to massage her breasts as she traced the shell of Sawyer’s ear with her tongue once more. Sawyer’s pulse sped up, and she groaned into the pillow. Her whole body vibrated, aching in need, and each time McCoy scraped her teeth along her skin, Sawyer’s clit spasmed in response. “McCoy.”

“I love my name on your lips,” McCoy spoke softly into her ear. “I’ll love it even more when you scream it for me.”

“ Calisse ,” Sawyer uttered, pushing her ass up into McCoy’s hands. A breathy cry escaped her when McCoy’s wet kisses landed on her lower back. Then over her bare ass cheeks. Her tongue inched closer to Sawyer’s most intimate spot, and she tensed. Surely, McCoy wasn’t—

“I could taste you like this,” came McCoy’s honey-smooth voice. Sawyer yelped when teeth nipped her flesh. “But I want our first time to be with me facing you, watching how you respond to me.”

Sawyer’s ears pounded in time with her clit. She was still trying to think of a response when McCoy flipped her over again, pressed her knee into Sawyer’s dripping sex, and sucked her nipple into her mouth.

“Fuck.” Sawyer’s head flew back, her back arching until it was almost completely off the bed. The slick feel of McCoy’s tongue as it swirled around her hot nipple had Sawyer feverish. She moaned, sinking her fingers into McCoy’s hair and holding her in place. “I want … God, I need … McCoy,” she panted, lifting her legs to lock her ankles around McCoy’s ass. She was going to combust if McCoy didn’t—

“That’s it, sweetheart, take some of the pressure off,” McCoy encouraged, switching to Sawyer’s other breast as Sawyer gyrated against her thigh. McCoy raked her teeth over the swollen bud, licking and flicking with her tongue. She groaned softly, her lush green eyes staring up at Sawyer. “Your perfect pussy feels so good on me right now.”

Perfect pussy? Sawyer’s cheeks burned, but she was too far gone to care about McCoy’s dirty talk. She was desperate for relief.

“You’re so wet,” McCoy continued, massaging Sawyer’s breasts. She kissed her way down Sawyer’s body, pausing briefly to pay special attention to Sawyer’s cesarean scar.

“Please,” she begged, pushing McCoy’s head down further.

“So beautiful,” McCoy whispered, running her tongue along Sawyer’s inner thigh. She reached for a pillow, tucking it under Sawyer’s ass. Then she spread Sawyer’s thighs apart and settled between her legs, blowing air on her sensitive lips. Sawyer stifled another cry. “So ready for my kiss.”

She expected a tentative swipe of McCoy’s tongue or maybe rough fingers trying to find her clit, and she gasped as McCoy devoured her.

“Relax, sweetheart, I’ve got you,” McCoy said, holding Sawyer in place. She winked, her face already glistening from Sawyer’s arousal.

“McC-oh!” Sawyer’s legs shook as McCoy’s tongue stroked the length of her pussy, then swirled and flicked the bundle of nerves begging for release. Sawyer clutched the bedsheets, her ragged breaths mounting with each inhale. Her body was on fire. She couldn’t catch her breath. McCoy sucked her clit into her mouth, and pinpricks of light danced in Sawyer’s vision. Her chest squeezed like it was a tension ball, and a flare of panic hit her. It was too much. Too much.

My heart’s going to burst!

“Stop,” she sobbed, throwing her arm over her eyes to shield herself from McCoy. “I-I can’t—” Another sob, and the moment McCoy withdrew, Sawyer twisted her legs free.

“Sawyer? What’s wrong?”

Sawyer shook her head, unable to speak past her tears. She was weeping for no reason, and yet her heart felt like it was splitting in two. McCoy’s hand landed on her arm, and she flinched like it had burned her.

“It’s okay. Just breathe, sweetheart. I’m sorry. You’re okay.”

Arms wrapped around her, and then McCoy was cradling Sawyer to her chest. She trembled, caught between needing McCoy and needing to push her away. Sex had never caused fear before, but then, she’d never had sex like she did with McCoy. Like all her nerve endings were exposed and raw, like her clit was so overstimulated she'd combust where she lay. She’d never come close to feeling like that.

“That’s it. Slow your breathing. Can I get you anything?”

Sawyer shook her head, relaxing into McCoy’s chest. She felt McCoy’s comforting touch drawing circles over her back, and after a long stretch of silence, her eyelids grew heavy. She sniffled, allowing sleep to take her, so she wasn’t certain she heard McCoy’s muffled declaration correctly.

“I’ve gone and fallen in love with you, haven’t I? Well, shit.”