Page 14 of Flynn (Foxy’s Rent-A-Date #4)

“I told you so, I told you so, I told you so !” Kate cried as I lay on my back on her bed, my head hung over the edge.

The room was upside down, but maybe that was a good thing.

I needed a new perspective, which was also why I’d come to see the only other person who knew about mine and Flynn’s deception.

I’d knocked on her door three hours ago, and after taking one look at my face, she sent her boyfriend away and opened a bottle of wine.

I told her everything . “Kate, you’re not helping,” I grouched.

“I’m sorry, but who was it that told the two of you that this would blow up in your faces?

Oh, right. Me!” she shouted, moving around on the bed so that my body jostled.

“And who was it that said you both had feelings for each other and would fall in love? Also, me!” “You’re insufferable when you’re right,” I grumbled, and she laughed.

“Who was it that reminded you both you can’t play pretend forever, and that one of you was to have to man up and express your feelings?

Pretty sure it was me. I told you that deep down you both wanted each other but were using this whole fake relationship thing as a way to safely test it without someone getting hurt.

Only, someone was always going to get hurt unless you were both honest.” “I tried, Kate,” I said in a whisper, closing my eyes when they burned.

She moved around beside me, and a moment later she joined me on the bed with her head hanging over the edge too.

She sighed and took my hand in hers. “I know you did, hon. You did the right thing, because one of you had to say something.” My breath was shaky, and I tried to regain control of my emotions.

“But at what cost? At least before, we had a chance of getting through this with our friendship intact. Now, it’s all ruined.

” Kate scoffed. “Uh, no. If by before, you mean before he got on that plane, then sure. But the moment you two set eyes on each other again, you were screwed. This has been over ten years waiting to happen. The circumstances just needed to sync up. Now you’re both here, things got hot and heavy like I knew they would, and it should be working, if only the other party would come to the table.

” “And how do I make that happen? Clearly, he would prefer to live in denial and live up the bachelor life,” I said, but even as the words passed my lips, they didn’t feel exactly right.

“I mean, do I even have a right to be mad? He told me from the start that we had limitations, and I agreed.” “Uh, hell yes you have a right to be mad!” Kate replied fiercely.

“I mean, the guy has feelings for you, we can all see that, and not just horny feelings either.” I snickered, and she continued before I could say anything about her crude terminology.

“The way he looks at you, the way I’ve seen him touch you when it was for no one else’s benefit, it all paints the picture of a man falling hard and fast. But then he tries to gaslight you into thinking you’re the one running away with their emotions?

That he has to be the big strong man and protect you from yourself?

” “Right?” I cried, releasing my hair which had been bunched in the hand not held in Kate’s.

I watched the long dark strands trail along the carpeted floor and blew out a breath.

“So, I’m not crazy then?” I asked quietly.

“I’m not just being overly emotional or thinking we have something real when we don’t?

” Kate made a sound of disbelief and laughed.

“Hell no. You two were hot for each other as teenagers, but things were way too murky back then and you had a level head on you that no teenager should be capable of. You kept an emotional distance, and he knew you were too good for him at the time. It went the way it was meant to back then.” I forced myself up—an action that took an embarrassing amount of effort—and huffed with exertion.

“So then, what’s the problem now?” I asked, frowning.

“He’s got a dick.” I choked on my own saliva.

“What?” Kate grinned and sat up too, her long hair tumbling over her shoulders, her dark blue eyes sparkling with humor.

“I’m serious, hon. The problem you’re having…

he’s got a dick between his legs.” I stared at her incredulously for several long moments and then laughed.

“Uh, hate to break it to you, babe, but what’s hanging between his legs was so definitely not the problem.

It was… well…” I trailed off, my face heating.

Kate laughed and shoved me gently, and I couldn’t stop my own laugh.

“Go, Chiara!” she cried proudly. After another moment, she sighed and shook her head.

“But seriously, what I meant was that he’s a guy.

It doesn’t matter how big and bad they are, almost all of them are terrified of their own feelings, especially when it comes to that one special woman.

” “But… why?” I asked, truly puzzled. “Flynn has faced a lot of bad things in his life—literal warzones—and he’s afraid to let me love him and vice versa?

” Kate shrugged. “It’s the oldest of stories, babe.

A stray bullet in a warzone could wound him or kill him.

But a woman who holds his heart has the power to utterly destroy him.

Most men fear the idea of loving someone so completely.

” I considered her words for a long moment, letting them sit for a while.

I replayed my time with Flynn in my head, the way we talked and danced, and the way he looked at me.

The way he talked and held me. There was so much intimacy in everything we did.

He still opened up to me in a way he didn’t with anyone else.

And then earlier today when he totally shut me out, he was another person altogether.

My Flynn was locked away, guarded by walls he refused to let anyone penetrate.

On some level I knew this was the case for Flynn.

I’d told him as much outside the hotel. But only now were the ramifications of that sinking in.

What if he never let his guard down? What if we left the island with this giant thing unresolved between us and he let himself stay miserable forever because he was too afraid to get hurt again?

I couldn’t say I didn’t understand it. He’d been through a lot.

The idea of opening himself up to the possibility of more pain, of another thing in his life that could be ripped away had to be terrifying.

But I’d thought what we had could push through all that.

Or maybe I’d just been hoping. “Men are stupid,” I finally relented with an unhappy sigh.

“Absolutely,” Kate agreed. “I mean, why are we even attracted to them? Are all straight women just suckers for punishment that we’ll literally tie ourselves to someone who will emotionally wound us all because they’re too afraid of getting hurt themselves?

” “We’re idiots, that’s for sure,” Kate tacked on.

“This is the twenty-first freaking century, Kate. We don’t actually need men anymore, and I’m comfortable enough in my sexuality to know I could bend the other way if the right woman came along,” I continued.

Kate snapped her fingers dramatically. “Sing it, sister.” “I don’t need Flynn, and it’s not like I’m actually in love with him or anything anyway.

This is just a bad weekend.” “That’s right!

” Kate exclaimed, throwing her arm around my shoulder.

“Screw him and his macho attitude and gaslighting ways. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my own damn holiday and pretend he doesn’t even exist!

” “Now you’re getting it!” Kate cried. “I’ve got this!

” “Absolutely you do!” she encouraged. “Are you just telling me what I want to hear?” “One hundred percent,” Kate answered with a giggle.

I laughed and shook my head, my smile slowly dying when reality seeped back in.

I ducked my head, my hair falling forward.

Kate used her arm around me to tug me against her and I rested my head on her shoulder.

“I’m falling in love with him, Kate,” I whispered.

“I know,” she said softly, taking my hand again.

“You know one of the scariest parts about that? Besides the possibility that he might not love me back?” She shook her head, and I tried to smile, but it was small and shaky.

“It wasn’t even that much of a fall. I think I’d fallen half-way in love with him as a girl and seeing him again—spending time with him again—just pushed me the rest of the way.

It feels less like falling and more like taking a long-awaited final step into a place I’ve been waiting to enter for a really long time.

And now that I’m here, the door is closed, and it hurts, Kate.

More than I thought it would.” Kate squeezed me tightly, and I hung my head, feeling ridiculous for being so heartbroken so quickly.

I didn’t understand how it happened so fast, and I didn’t bother trying to dissect it.

I’d gone and fallen for him, simple as that.

Now I had to navigate the best way forward that wouldn’t leave me a hopeless, desperate mess.

“I’m not crazy, am I, Kate?” I asked after a long silence.

“Flynn and I… we really could have been something amazing, couldn’t we?

” Kate sighed. “Yeah, babe. I saw it when we were younger, and it was there even stronger the second I saw you two together again. Whether you believe in soulmates or not, the two of you are two pieces of the same puzzle, but it’s like he’s constantly trying to reshape his edges, so he doesn’t fit with anyone.

Maybe he feels safer alone.” I exhaled slowly and closed my eyes.

He might feel safer alone, but it was going to be a lonely existence if he didn’t find a way around that.

And I worried that because I felt so strongly for him, his decision to remain that way would shape my life, too.

After another long silence, Kate slowly pulled away and clapped loudly.

“Look, we can’t do anything about Flynn right now.

He’s a grown ass man who will make his own decisions, whether they be right or wrong.

But we are here for Sofia’s wedding, and she has her bachelorette night tonight.

We need to get dressed up and be there for our friend,” Kate announced.

I nodded, immediately feeling guilty. I should have been there for Sofia more this trip, but she was so busy with her parents and grandparents here—plus Ellis’s parents—that I knew she hadn’t ever been left alone.

Besides, most of my maid of honor duties had already been handled, and there was nothing else for me to do until tonight.

I would put on a smile, I’d drink and dance, and we’d make sure Sofia had the best send off into married life.

“You’re right. We have a great night to put together for our friend, and I can forget about Flynn for the night.

” Kate bit her lip and I frowned. “What?” “Uh, well, do you remember how all the guys were meant to be going to Ellis’s thing tonight?

But you didn’t want Flynn to have to deal with that, and you also didn’t want him left alone, so—” I groaned and dropped my head back.

I’d organized for him and Trevor to join us girls and be our lookouts.

They wanted to make sure we were all safe and could cut loose without having to worry about men who didn’t know how to take no as an answer or our drinks being spiked.

“We can still do this. It’ll just take some intricate handling,” Kate hurried to assure.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and she grinned.

“Fine, we’ll get shit-faced drunk, and we’ll forget all about Flynn for the night.

” I laughed and shook my head, but her smile grew, and I sent a silent thanks to the universe for giving me Kate as a friend.

“Alright,” I agreed. “Let’s start getting ready and go find the bride. ”