Page 146 of Flameborne: Chosen

Thankfully the wound wasn’t deep, but the fact that it had occurred at all made mefurious,and had Kgosi pacing the edge of the launch hollow.

‘What are they saying?’I asked Kgosi when it was clear that he wasn’t calming, and there was a great deal of vocalization from all the dragons because of his agitation.

‘The boys’ dragons are frustrated, torn between protecting their bonded riders, and their own honor. We will be speaking on this again when emotions don’t run so high. Akhane is more concerned about Bren.She took the blow and knew it wasn’t serious. But she’s flustered and blaming herself for not better avoiding the clashes. She’s baffled that they happened.’

I ground my teeth.‘This isn’t baffling at all.’

‘No, it’s not. But they have answered for the danger they put others in. Their dragons didn’t instigate, I’m certain of that much.’

I remembered the protesting bugle from one of the dragons and nodded.

Then it was time for the ceremony. I was saddened to see Bren standing on the stage, still with her chin on her chest as if she were ashamed, and I resolved to break my silence and speak with her tonight to reassure her that we’d seen what had happened, that it wasn’t her fault. But I was unsettled by how sad she appeared. I’d have thought, even with the sabotage, she’d be far more pleased to have passed her first trial.

But there was no way to speak with her privately before the ceremony. When Akhane was deemed safe and the King and Queen had been seated on the stage, it was time. Gunnar and I returned to the stage while the Flameborne’s squads and many of the stableboys gathered on the grass below the stage, the dragons milling behind them, as all waited to see the first, female Flameborne raised to first rank.

As I took my position at the head of the line of Flameborne and thanked everyone for coming to offer our newest Chosen such support, I glanced down the line to Bren at the other end. But her head was still down in shame. My heart squeezed for her, and I prayed she’d finally find her joy when I raised her. Because I didn’t think I’d ever been prouder.

41. Failure

~ BREN ~

Saul had landed in the launch hollow first, so when Donavyn called his name first, I almost cried. I’d never been so happy for someone else and so upset with myself at the same time. My head spun, replaying every second of the Banner Seize, desperately trying to figure out what I could have done differently so that I could stand on this stage with pride.

The four banners clutched in my hands burned my palms with sheer humiliation.

Eight of us, and I was the only one who failed.

Even Lorr and Faren who’d been punished for interfering with me, would trial again and pass. They’d both passed this time. It was only a delay for them.

But for me, this was the end.

When Donavyn stood at my toes, it would be to declare that I was unfit, and wouldn’t progress. Those eyes, those hazel windows that brightened and shadowed on my behalf would shutter closed. Because I’d finally failed.

I wanted to weep, and cry, and hide my face. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let Akhane down that way. I couldn’t embarrass my squad like that.

Oh God. My squad.

I would have to face them after this. Listen to them reassure me.

My stomach twisted into knots as Saul was announced to the crowd as Flameborne: First Rank, and Donavyn moved to the next man.

With each person he announced, I shrank deeper in on myself. I had only moments until I had stand under his penetrating gaze and admit my failure publicly. Watch the disappointment cloud his eyes. Watch him step away, hear that deep, warm voice turn cold and instruct me to leave.

I wouldn’t be a Furyknight. That meant Donavyn wouldn’t be my Commander anymore. No more training. No more gifts. No nothing. He wouldn’t be anything but a man who’d once tried to help me and I’d let him down.

Akhane tried to talk to me through the link, but I couldn’t listen to her kind words knowing that we’d be relegated to messengers, and it would be my fault and…

Oh shit.

If we were relegated to messengers I’d be working with Faren and Lorr. Except in three months I’d have to watch them leave the messenger ranks and return to the Dragon Keep and take their second chance. Meanwhile, I’d stay there, wasting a battle dragon for the rest of my days and listening to others whisper about the first woman whocould havebecome a Furyknight except she fell at the first fucking hurdle.

I blinked and frowned at the stage.

Those two fuckers tripped me up. They worked against metogetherand fucked up everything. Whether they stole my banners or not, they were still half the reason my Furyknight career ended here.

And they would get another chance.

It was so unfair. So fucking unfair!