Page 35 of Fit for a Prince (Fit For A Crown #1)

Chapter thirty-two

A tlas saved me too.

Lochlan sent me back to my room immediately after that revelation. He kept the letter with him so he could hand it to the king himself, promising to confirm our engagement that very day. He was saving me only to kill me slowly.

There was no one in my chambers when I returned—no Mara, no Beckham, nobody.

There was a full plate of food waiting for me, but I could only get a couple bites down before deciding that even starvation wasn’t enough to return my appetite.

For the first hour, I simply paced the floors of my suite until I wore thin patches into the rug.

I needed to process this change. I needed to plan and I needed to adapt.

So why am I struggling so much to adapt?

Lochlan was a perfect candidate for marriage, other than being utterly despicable.

He was in line for the throne and power-hungry enough to claim it.

He had been a bit sloppy in the meeting I’d attended, but he hadn’t lost any respect by departing with me early, which spoke volumes of his reputation.

Plus, he’d be easy to assassinate when I was done with him.

My heart had no ties to that man. Cleaving him from my life would be as simple as pouring the poison and watching him drink.

If I ever needed to dispose of Cedric, on the other hand, it would be a lot harder.

..not impossible, but I had never been good at setting aside my morals.

Leopold had hated that about me above all else.

This was a good change. Marrying Lochlan could save me and my people.

So why am I so angry?

I paused my pacing, my legs numb from the repetitive movement.

I went to my desk and started pulling out every note I had ever made on the princes.

The details about Cedric’s bookkeeping, Atlas’s preferred sword stance, and the books on Cedric’s shelves, but there was nothing left on Lochlan.

I’d burned it all after I slapped his pretty face.

The moment I decided he would never be my savior, I’d burned his purpose in a hellfire of flames and watched the ashes smolder .

My hands froze on Atlas’s notes, my heart beating up to the tips of my fingers as I brushed the dried ink across his name. It was his fault. He’d spared me at the breakfast. He’d tried to save me in Lochlan’s office. He was the one who was supposed to save me.

I wanted it to be you. My throat tightened. Curse you for saving me too soon.

I tossed his notes in the fire, watching them shrivel away like the petals of a dying rose.

Cedric’s went into the flames next, gobbled up and mixed into the ashes with his brothers’.

There was no planning my rescue, only accepting my fate.

I should have learned that lesson the moment Damon was killed.

“My lady?” The soft voice that floated over the crackling of the flames jump-started my dead heart and filled me with a forgotten hope.

“Mara!”

She was alive. Mara stood quietly in front of the servants’ door, a soft smile spanning her lips.

She wore a clean uniform, and she looked full of life and energy.

I wanted to run to her, but the relief that flowed through me was more exhausting than reviving.

My steps were heavy, but I was still walking on air.

The letter had worked. Atlas had saved her...and as much as I hated to admit it, Lochlan had saved her too .

“I hope you weren’t waiting too long.” Mara stepped into the room, investigating the plate of cold food and untouched tea. “Have you not eaten yet? I can bring you a fresh plate if you want.”

I braced myself on the back of an armchair. The stress of my new reality had consumed me so much that I hadn’t even considered how little I’d actually consumed.

“N-no.” I moved over to the abandoned plate of food. “Don’t go. The meal is fine, I just wasn’t hungry before.”

I picked up a handful of grapes and started popping them into my mouth. I gulped them down as fast as I could, as if that would keep Mara from leaving again.

“Very well, my lady,” Mara said as she watched me curiously. “Just let me know if you’d like anything else. Fortunately, it seems that your punishment has ended. The kitchens are open for you again, and I’m more than happy to bring you what you need.”

It’s over then. Lochlan spared me, and I’ll become his bride.

The next grape was dreadfully sour.

“Sit with me.” I swallowed the tart fruit and motioned to the other chair. “That is all I need right now. A friend to lend me an ear. ”

Mara curled her fingers against her heart as a softness warmed her light eyes. “A friend , my lady?” She nibbled the edge of her lip. “Did you misspeak?”

“I did not.” I smiled. “Unless you would prefer that I had.”

“N-no!” she said with a panicked gasp that shifted into a girlish laugh. “Pardon me, that wasn’t what I was implying. It’s only that...I’ve thought of you as a friend for far longer than is proper for my station.”

She had?

“There is no difference in station among friends,” I said, patting the seat next to me in invitation.

She grinned from ear to ear, showing off a dimple I never even knew she had.

The smile brightened her face so much it almost erased her scar.

Mara’s smile had always been good at erasing awful moments, which was why I missed it so much when she was gone.

If Lochlan was going to be my husband, I would need a friend like Mara to keep me together.

“Now, what did you want me to lend an ear for?” Mara asked as she slid into the seat.

“Everything.”

So I told her everything. About Lochlan, about Atlas, about the letter, the king’s threats, and Cedric’s compassion. I told her everything, except the one thing I could never share with anyone.

I couldn’t tell a friend about that.