Page 114 of Fire

Because I am. Jumping. Skipping. Fucking leap-frogging to conclusions.

And I need to chill, because this is so not like me.

I’ve had hunches before when it comes to patients. All doctors have. But I don’t let them overrule my critical thinking skills. I’m a data girl. A numbers girl. I’m the person who overanalyzes every detail until I reach a conclusion. I never jump. And I certainly don’t leap.

This might be nothing.

Please be nothing.

After he gets caught up on Hendrix’s pain history, he switches places with me and performs a physical exam. It’s similar to what I did that day I witnessed him playing in our hotel room, but more comprehensive. He tests his range of motion, grip strength, and conducts several specific tests to rule out carpal tunnel, which he passes with flying colors.

That’s fine, I tell myself. I didn’t think it was carpal tunnel anyway.

“Okay,” Eric says after the physical part of the exam is done. I already know what he’s going to say, and I try to keep my face neutral. Positive. “I think it’s best that we go ahead and draw some labs, get an MRI to check for any tendon issues, and just to be safe, we should run a nerve conduction study and order an EMG.” When his suggestion is met with silence, he adds cheerfully, “Might as well get it all out of the way while you’re here, right?”

Hendrix looks over at me, and I give a slight nod. “Okay,” he says. “Sounds good.”

But none of it sounds good. Not really.

And as we leave the clinic thirty minutes later, after getting his blood drawn, he asks, “Should I be worried?”

“No,” I say, downplaying the situation, instead of doing what I should be doing, explaining what each test means and what will happen if one is positive or negative. You know…my damn job. “Like he said, it’s just more convenient to get it all done at once.”

“Promise?”

I swallow the guilt building in my gut and nod. “Promise.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

ZARA

Violet

Can you send me your schedule for the int. leg of the tour?

Me

Sure, why?

Violet

I’m your sister. Do I have to give you a reason?

Me

No, but you could also just Google it.

Violet

Yes, but then I would get to have this titillating conversation.

Me

Did you just say titillating?

Violet

I know words!