Page 42 of Fire and Smoke (Nothing Special #9)

Day

Day dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and walked farther into their house without a word.

God followed a few steps behind with his head low and his steps heavy.

Day’s pulse pounded like a bass drum. His chest was tight with anger and confusion.

He paced back and forth until he stopped at the liquor cabinet.

He poured himself a glass of bourbon, filling it almost to the top, hoping the burn would help cover the sting of his hurt.

It didn’t.

When he turned around, God stood in the shadows of the hall, staring at the floor like a scolded child.

“Leo,” God started.

He held up his palm and God snapped his mouth shut.

Day stalked into the living room, gripping his glass so tightly he thought it might shatter.

He dropped into a chair and took another slow sip, trying to gather his thoughts.

God sat in the recliner across from him with his elbows braced on his knees, cradling his face in his big hands as if he were trying to physically hold his thoughts together.

Day had rehearsed what he was going to say the entire ride home, but now that they were face-to-face, all he felt was exhaustion.

“How’d you even realize I wasn’t home?” he asked, finally breaking the silence. “I’ve been going to that support group every Thursday night for six months.”

God snapped his head up. His eyes wide and full of an expression that resembled shame.

“Yep, six months of me leaving work without you and coming home late. You didn’t even notice.” Day barked a humorless laugh. “And you call yourself a detective.”

God flinched as if he’d been slapped.

“Or maybe you just didn’t give a fuck to notice.”

“Leo I—”

“Do you know why I even joined that group?”

Day didn’t wait for God to answer.

“I was home one Sunday night…alone. I’d made your favorite dinner… and your mother’s pecan pie. I was sitting at the table with my leg propped up on the chair, icing my knee, since it was still giving me problems from when I fell off the fire escape during a breach simulation.”

God placed his fist to his mouth, his lip trembling.

“It was after eleven and I was still watching the clock, starving and holding out for my husband to come home and eat with me, just once.”

Day paused, remembering his first online chat with Callum.

“I googled ‘how to make your husband notice you’,” He took another long swig of his Jim Beam and laughed again. “There was a whole bunch of shit about dressing sexy, flirting, compliment him, surprise him, show affection, communicate…give him space.”

Day couldn’t sit any longer as anger burned hotter than the liquor.

“Then I saw the suggestion to join a support group.”

“Leo, why didn’t you just talk to me about—”

He glared so fuckin hard God actually looked scared.

“We’re you really about to say that?”

God shook his head.

“Oh good. Because I never stopped trying to talk to you, Cash.” Day pfft’d. “In between meeting and raids of course.”

“I researched a lot of groups and saw there’s quite a few of’em in Atlanta. That’s how I met Callum.” Day shrugged. “I had no clue there were so man ignored husbands out there.”

“I swear I didn’t know it—”

“It what?” Day frowned. “You didn’t know it was impossible to talk to you about anything besides your task force. You didn’t know it was easier to confide in a group of strangers—that cared more about my feelings—than my own husband?”

“Yeah,” God sighed.

“It was either talk to them…or the department therapist. But, that would’ve required you making time to go to an appointment.”

“Fuck.” God shook his head as if defeated. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t know what else to—”

Day leaned forward. “So, how’d you find out?”

God opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Day slammed his glass onto the table, liquor sloshing over the rim.

“Who convinced you I was having an affair?” he demanded. “Who did you trust…over me?”

God closed his eyes, looking older than he’d ever seen him.

“ Who ?” he roared, voice echoing through the room.

“Vasquez.” God confessed in a chocked whisper.

Day was sure he’d heard wrong, but the expressions on his husband’s face confirmed he’d heard it right.

It felt like the world had tilted beneath his feet.

“Vasquez?” Day rasped. “You’re fuckin’ with me, right?”

God looked like he wanted to disappear. “He…he showed me a video, Leo. Of you and that man hugging and shit before you got in his car.”

Day blinked rapidly, trying to keep tears from spilling. “Vasquez.”

God lifted tortured eyes to meet his.

“Am I not supposed to believe what I saw with my own eyes? I saw you … I saw him touching you, kissing you…” His voice broke on the last words, rough as gravel. “Like you needed him…and you were giving him what you weren’t giving me.”

Day’s own anger faltered under the hopelessness in God’s eyes.

“You dumb, stubborn, dumbass.” Day gritted. “Do you honestly think I’d cheat on you? After everything we’ve been through?”

God shook his head, as if defeated.

“You’ve ignored me for months, and you have the balls to break and enter into another man’s house, cause thousands worth of property damage, and then what? Were you going to assault him…commit manslaughter, I mean, what?”

“I wasn’t thinking, Leo. I just—”

“It’s a true saying. ‘You don’t notice what you had until you’ve lost it.’”

God’s eyes widened. “Please…don’t leave me. Fuck, Leo. I’ll do anything. I’ll fuckin turn in my badge tomorrow if that’s what it takes.”

Day’s heart cracked at the vulnerability in those words. He moved closer, kneeling between God’s legs, gripping the arms of the chair.

“You can never lose me,” Day said fiercely.

“But you can lose my happiness. And you have been, little by little, every day that you’ve ignored me.

I’ve been trying to get you to hear me, and you just keep burying yourself in your work, like I ain’t enough anymore.

You act as if my love isn’t enough. Like you can’t be happy unless you’re fighting and shooting. ”

God made a sound like a wounded animal, guttural and broken. “That’s not true.”

Day surged forward, straddling God’s lap, gripping his face in both hands.

“Cash, I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting to be seen by my own husband.

I’m tired of sharing you with the entire fuckin’ city.

Tired of chasing people, tackling men twice my size and getting trapped in burning vehicles.

I’m tired of falling down flights of stairs and crashing through windows.

Tired of fighting period ,” he whispered. “I’m not twenty-five anymore, Cash.”

“I hear you, Leo.”

“Do you? Do you really hear what I’m saying?”

“I think I do.” God wrapped his big arms around his waist. “I’ll do anything you need me to do… anything .”

“I want to believe you.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that. And you’re right…maybe…it is time to scale back.” God scrubbed his hand over his beard. “It’s just, sometimes I feel like, if I’m not getting these drug dealers off the street and protecting this city, then who will?”

Day scoffed. “Maybe the five hundred other sworn narcotics officers in this city, and the two thousand DEA agents.”

God flushed as if he was embarrassed.

Day kissed him.

It started gentle—a light press of his lips, soft and searching. But the taste of salt and bourbon, the sheer relief of feeling God’s mouth against his again, made him groan deep in his chest.

God made a low, helpless sound and kissed him back.

He pulled back just enough to pant against God’s lips. “I’ve missed you so fuckin’ much.”

God buried his face in Day’s neck. “I’m sorry, babe. Fuck. I—”

“Shut up,” Day breathed, grabbing two fistfuls of God’s T-shirt and yanking him closer.

God stood, hauling Day up with him. He locked his legs around God’s waist, his husband’s arms clamping tight around him. He was almost crushing his ribs as he carried him through the house.

Day buried his face in God’s throat, inhaling his familiar scent of a hard day’s work and the last traces of his cologne.

It felt like coming home after months at war.

Upstairs, they fell into the bathroom, clawing at each other’s clothes.

Day peeled off God’s shirt, baring the tattoos and scars he loved so much.

God’s big hands were everywhere as he pushed Day’s jacket off his shoulders, then fumbled with the hem of his shirt.

He caught God’s hands, pressing his forehead to his. “Breathe.”

God choked out a laugh that sounded close to a sob. “Don’t tell me to breathe when I’m feelin’ like this.”

They stumbled into the shower with the water still cold, too impatient to wait for it to heat up.

God crowded him against the tiles, sliding his palms up and down his chest, across his shoulders, and down his back.

Day dropped his head back with a gasp as God washed him. His hands were both rough and gentle. It was as if his husband was trying to scrub the touch of another man’s hands from his skin.

God dragged his tongue over his neck, licking at the flow of water that ran down the column of his throat.

“I thought you’d left me.”

“There is and never will be anyone else,” Day moaned. “But I wanna be first in your world. Nothing should come before me, Cash. Not our jobs, not the team, no kingpins, or dealers, and damn sure not another man’s assumptions.”

God lowered his head, his lips hot against Day’s temple. “They won’t. I swear.”

They dried off in hurried, fumbling motions, water still dripping from their bodies as they fell into bed.

His skin was oversensitive as God climbed on top of him and kissed his way across his ribs.

“I need to remind you that no man is to ever touch what’s mine.”

Day tangled his fingers in God’s hair as he circled his tongue around his nipple, flicking and sucking it until his hips jerked off the bed.

Day moaned, arching and grinding his cock against God’s hard length. The friction was too much after so long.

“Fuck, Cash…” he groaned, his eyes falling shut.

God gripped his thighs. “Spread ’em wider.”

Day obeyed, letting his knees fall open. He thought he’d hyperventilate when God settled between his thighs as if he would be there a while.

God ran his tongue from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling it around the head, and sucking until he was nearly sobbing.

God took him into his mouth, inch by inch, until he’d swallowed him whole.

The heat and wetness made Day’s vision go white.

God’s wide shoulders kept him open as he bobbed his head and hollowed his cheeks, every pull and slide making his toes curl.

“I’m gonna—”

His legs were shaking.

It’d been too long since he’d gotten off by something besides his right hand and a toy.

God released him with a wet pop .

Day was breathless. “Asshole.”

God licked along the seam of Day’s balls, then farther down, nosing the sensitive skin behind them.

He dropped his head back onto the pillow, lifting his hips. “Oh fuck…”

He had just caught his breath before God spread his ass open wider and dove in, licking a long, wet stripe over his hole.

Day cursed, grabbing fistfuls of the comforter.

God licked him again, slower, pressing the tip of his tongue inside, the sensation shooting straight up his spine.

“Oh my fuckin’…”

God rumbled a laugh and kept licking, working him open before he grabbed the lube out the night stand.

A thick finger joined his tongue, circling and pressing until Day was rolling his hips to take more.

Three fingers and too many minutes later, God lifted his head, eyes blazing. “You ready for me?”

Day nodded frantically. “Yes, fuck, yes.”

God slicked himself, stroking his cock while he stared at Day as if he were about to ravish him harder than he ever had before.

Day wrapped his own hand around God’s cock, helping him, the thick weight of him always so perfect in his palm.

God groaned, and Day hooked his legs around God’s waist and pulled him close.

God lined himself up, eyes locked on his.

He pushed in slowly, the wide head breaching and stretching him.

Day sucked in a ragged breath, the burn sharp and perfect.

“Fuuuck…”

God paused halfway when Day dug his nails into his shoulders.

“Don’t you dare stop.”

God groaned, shuddering as he eased the rest of the way in.

Day let out a broken cry, clenching around his husband’s thickness.

God buried his face in his neck, his voice hoarse. “I can never lose this…”

Day licked and bite God’s earlobe. “Then don’t.”

God pulled out halfway, then drove back in.

Day’s world narrowed to heat, friction, and pleasure as he clawed at God’s back. He clamped his legs tighter as God set a steady, relentless pace.

The sound of their bodies slapping together filled the room, wet and obscene.

Day’s voice cracked with each thrust. “Cash—fuck—harder—”

God shifted the angle, pounding into him so deep Day thought he might black out.

He cried out when his husband’s cock dragged over that perfect spot inside him.

God slipped his big hand between their bodies and fisted his dick, stroked him in time with his thrusts, squeezing him just right.

“Come all over me,” God panted.

Day gasped, the pressure rising.

His whole body seized as he came, spilling hot against God’s stomach, crying out his name.

The moans God made was primal as he slammed in deep and stayed buried as he spilled inside him, coming so hard he collapsed on top of him.

They stayed that way for a long time, bodies pressed tight, hearts hammering against each other’s.

God lifted his head, wet hair falling over Day’s forehead.

They stared into each other’s eyes and communicated with each other the way they had since they’d met.

In silence.

“Forgive me.”

Day nodded, brushing God’s lips gently, kissing him slow in a way that offered promises and understanding.

“Cash, I need you to fight for me as fiercely as you fight for this city.”

“You’re first and always will be.”

God squeezed his eyes shut a moment before he opened them again. “I promise.”

Day finally had the opportunity to say to God—to his partner and husband—what he’d been feeling for months about their stressful job.

And for the first time, he believed God heard him.