Page 24

After she had cried herself out, Paige continued to sit in Nathan's embrace. It felt comfortable and safe. "Gods I'm such a mess." She say up and slightly pulled away from him. "I have cried more in the past week and a than I have in the last four years. You must bring something out in me." She joked.

He chuckled and said, "Happy to help." She smiled at him.

"It's all just been so much. First coming home and all that entails, then my father, you, finding out I have a wolf. It's overwhelming."

"That's unsurprising," he said, "Anyone would be overwhelmed with all that. Not to mention you're defending your dissertation soon."

"Gods! I've almost forgotten about that." She sighed and burrowed her face back in his chest, as if he could hide her from everything that was happening. It made her feel safe. She chided herself for taking comfort in him. She knew that if they failed, she'd have to say goodbye again. She knew she should be guarding her heart against it but he gave her a comfort she hadn't know in five years.

Nathan stilled underneath her and she looked at his face. It held annoyance and an unfocused look, he must be mind linking with someone. He groaned. "Patrick says the doctors have something we should hear. I told them we were busy, but they are apparently being persistent."

"Aren't we supposed to be meeting with them again today anyway?"

"We were but I told Allen to cancel when I saw you earlier. I thought you might need a day. We don't have to see them if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay. Um, they're there now?"

"Yeah Patrick said they're in my office. Why do you need some time?"

"No, I just, uh, I haven't showered yet. I was on my run and then I got home and my dad and then I was here. I'm sure I look like a mess right now."

"You look beautiful." He tucked a piece of hair away from her face.

She tried to resist it but a faint smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Nathan was the only person who made her blush like a school girl with her first crush.

She had been with plenty of other lovers, both before and after Nathan, but only Nathan could elicit these feelings in her.

"And you're even more beautiful when you blush like that." He pecked a kiss to her temple. They both stilled, shocked by the gesture. "Uh, I- I didn't-" He started stammering looking for words to explain a subconscious gesture.

"I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry." They hadn't explicitly stated what their relationship was or where their physical boundaries were but it wasn't up to any kind of kissing yet.

Paige was taken aback by the familiarity of the gesture but didn't find it uncomfortable.

"No it's okay. Uh, I don't-" She was equally flustered by it all the same. She stood. "Don't worry about it. Where's the bathroom? I'm just going to freshen up before we head up to your office." Nathan pointed and she hustled away.

She put water on her face and tried to pull herself together.

Her hair had completely come out of the braid that it had been in so she redid it.

Her hands ached from their beating but she didn't let that stop her. As she gave her self a final look in the mirror her hand went to her forehead where Nathan had brushed it and then to her temple where he had kissed her. She closed her eyes against the flutters and told herself to knock it off. "You are not going to get your heart broke by this man again." She said to herself in the mirror, "So stop acting like a schoolgirl and get yourself together. You are a strong, fierce woman who does not go back to the same old love only to be hurt again so STOP acting like it."

After giving herself a firm talking to, she went back out and found Nathan and together they made their way up to his office.

It was an awkward walk.

Neither really knew what to say to the other.

As they walked the pack members they ran into all offered warm greetings to Nathan.

Paige wasn't surprised as he was naturally chiasmatic when he wanted to be. What did surprise her, were his reactions to them. He greeted everyone just as warmly, calling everyone by name and asking after them. It brought another small smile to her face.

"What?" he asked as they turned the corner.

"Nothing." Her smile changed into a smirk. "It's just good to see that stick come out of your ass."

"Okay, is that really necessary?" He rolled his eyes at her teasing.

"No, I mean it. I thought you were going to have to have it surgically removed." He laughed at her and she laughed right a long with him. It was comfortable.

They turned the corner and ran into Holly, the pack receptionist and girl who attacked Paige at Micah's binding celebration. Her head was down and it was clear she was lost in thought and wasn't paying attention to what was in front of her.

She had almost walked into them before she looked up and jumped back.

"Alpha!" she exclaimed, "Ms. Wilson, I am so sorry I didn't see you there."

"It's quite alright Holly." Nathan said magnanimously, "Just be sure you watch where you're going. We wouldn't want any accidents."

"Of course sir." She could have moved around them but she stood there like she wanted to say something more. "I, uh, actually could I speak with you for a minute?" She looked at Paige with apprehension, like she wanted her to say yes but was also terrified to hear it.

"Uh, sure." She looked at Nathan who said he'd wait down the hall. She watched him go. She couldn't help but let her gaze linger on his ass.

She always had a thing for asses and his was a nice one.

The way his broad shoulders tapered down to his waist in a perfect inverted triangle, it made her heart skip a beat.

Almost as if he could hear her thoughts he looked back at her with a smirk that said he knew she'd been watching. She blushed furiously and jumped a bit when Holly stepped in between their line of sight. She cleared her throat, "Yes, Holly, what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to tell you- to apologize to you, for my behavior at the reception this weekend. I was inappropriate and said somethings I never should have even thought and I don't know-"

"It's alright Holly. Life happens and none of us are at our best when we're drunk. Though I would suggest you go easier on the wine next time." Paige said with a smile.

"You're not mad? I attacked you, I... I.. claimed the Alpha, I called you... I accused you..."

"Don't worry yourself about it. I'm not one to hold grudges."

"But how can you be so..?" The girl looked lost, like she was sure Paige was going to demand her to be exiled. She had seen how close the Alpha and Paige had become and thought for sure it was only a matter of time before she's thrown out of the pack.

"Holly, let me ask you something. You're what? I'm guessing 21? 22?"

"I just turned 20."

"And you've had a crush on the Alpha for..." She turned pink and stammered out that it had been a while. "And you thought that because the Alpha didn't have a mate that maybe you could be his mate, and when you saw me dancing with him you thought that I was trying to take him from you?" Paige's voice held no accusation. It was all kindness and genuine concern.

"I don't know what that has to do..."

"You said as much that night," the girl winced.

"I know he's older but he's just so..."

"He is. The Alpha is a good and kind male, and hot as fuck." Holly let out a laugh at her bluntness. "But he's also to old for you." Paige was trying to help her drop her crush on Nathan, not because Paige was threatened by it, but because Holly deserved more.

"Allow me to let you in on to something, you are a beautiful young woman who has so much potential, but you're not finished yet. You have to finish growing yourself before you can start to grow with someone else. There's a reason the mate bond doesn't activate until after both wolves are twenty-five. There's a part of your brain, called a pre-frontal cortex, that doesn't finish developing until then. That's the part of the brain that mostly responsible for regulating our thoughts, actions and emotions. But it also directs our problem solving, personality expression and decision making. Something like taking a mate, fated or chosen, is a big decision to make so the goddess doesn't allow it until after your brain is done developing. Males who date younger females are preying on that lack of development. If he was trying to date you, that'd be more cause for concern."

"But it's only nine years," she was having a hard time letting go of it. "A nine year age gap is nothing. Don't they say half your age plus seven is where it's okay?"

"You're right. It is nothing, when you're 39 and 30, not 20 and 29. Right now, it's not an age gap, it's a power gap. Not because he's an Alpha and you're part of his pack, but because he's nine years older than you. And if you have to do a whole bunch of math to justify the age gap, then maybe you shouldn't have that big of an age gap to begin with."

"But the other guys, they all said...." Holly trailed off, Paige knew what she was going to say. She had clearly been in relationships with older males and it skewed her perceptions of relationships a little bit.

"I know," Paige said kindly, "They're all fuckers and even if you were their age you'd still be too good for them."

Holly smiled up at her, before scrunching up her face and letting out a big sigh. "Goddess, I really made a fucked up mess didn't I?" She pulled a hand down her face. Paige chuckled.

"You did, but that doesn't mean it can't be cleaned up or that you have to keep making messes."

"I really am sorry." Holly said, "Even more so now, you're nicer than I thought you'd be. Most female wolves aren't like you. In my old pack they were... it was awful."

"Lucky for you I'm just a human then." Holly laughed with Paige.

"Really though," she said, getting serious. "Thank you for talking to me."

"Of course, Holly." Paige hugged her. "You are a smart young woman with a beautiful future. Don't waste it on assholes who are the werewolf equivalent of a participation award."

Paige released her watched Holly walk away, it might have been her imagination but she thought she saw Holly hold her head a little higher and walk with a little more confidence. She turned and headed back to Nathan.