Page 10 of Finding Faith (Seduced in Scotland #2)

T he morning of Belle’s surprise party was difficult, particularly because it had fallen on Faith to keep her aged aunt distracted. At the same time, the rest of the house made preparations for the evening celebrations. Why they had decided on a surprise party, Faith did not know, but she was hard-pressed to keep Belle occupied in her office.

Ever flanked by her faithful manservant, Andrews, Aunt Belle was in a fiery mood. Somehow, all her correspondence from the day before had gone missing before it could be sent out, and she was forced to rewrite those letters on top of the ones she had intended to write and send out today, causing her to be ornery.

“What lummox misplaced my letters?” she muttered as she scribbled frantically along a sheet of paper. “Disgraceful.”

“I’m sure they’ll show up, Aunt Belle,” Faith said from the settee. Her legs were curled beneath her body as she tried again to read a paragraph of the art book in her hands. “I wouldn’t fret about it.”

“Do I appear as though I’m fretting, my dear?” her aunt asked, perturbed. “What I am, is angry. What sort of person misplaces letters? And what’s worse, my own staff can’t point the finger at the correct culprit, which means they conspire against me.”

Faith rolled her eyes.

“That’s a stretch, even for you, Aunt Belle.”

“Do not try to argue. I’ve never been so outraged in my entire life.”

Faith closed the book, giving up her reading attempts, and stood up.

“Perhaps Andrews misplaced them?” Faith said teasingly, trying to get the man to smile, but he didn’t.

Andrews rarely smiled, and he seldom spoke.

“Nonsense,” Aunt Belle said, waving her hand. “If there is one person in this household I trust more than Andrews, I do not know them.”

The slightest twitches pulled at the corner of Andrews’s drawn mouth, and Faith smirked. If Andrews was dedicated to Belle, then the feelings were mutual.

But just then, Belle stood.

“I’ll find them. I’ve no time to rewrite all my letters. I’ll be here until dusk.”

Faith turned, looking at the porcelain clock that sat on the mantel. It was already four o’clock. She only needed to keep Aunt Belle busy for another hour before the halls would be cleared, and she could escort her to her bedroom to dress for dinner. Only when Faith did that would she suggest a far fancier evening dress than usual and would goad her into wearing her finest gown, which was being pressed at that very moment.

“Ah, Aunt Belle,” she said quickly, hoping to distract her. “Can I ask you something?”

“Walk and speak, my dear. I’ve already wasted half the day,” the old woman said as she crossed the room.

Her recovery from her ailments the previous year had been astonishing, and she was able to move much quicker now than before. Determined to keep her in this room, Faith opened her mouth and let the first thing that came to mind fall out.

“What was it like being King George’s mistress?”

Belle’s forward progress halted immediately as a discouraging cough came from Andrews. Glancing between the two, Faith waited for Belle to turn around. Slowly, the matriarch spun toward her, and though Faith had been anticipating a startled expression, she only saw something akin to glee in the old woman’s silvery stare.

“What a question,” she said gently, her eyes on Faith. “What’s promoted this sudden interest in my relationship with Georgie?”

“Um,” Faith started, unsure why she had even asked.

Perhaps because it was one of Aunt Belle’s favorite topics. She wasn’t shy about her relationship with the king and spoke at length whenever prompted, but something else had pushed Faith to ask about this, specifically, even though it was a subject she usually avoided.

But today, she found that she wanted to know about the cardinal relations between a man and a woman.

Ever since Logan had kissed her in the doorway of her room at Harris House, Faith had been tormented with the wildest and the most vivid daydreams, explicit thoughts that made her blush from head to toe. And after he had rescued her from her spooked horse, he had held her so protectively against him, and kissed her so passionately, that she had thought of little else since.

Faith shook her head, desperate to remove such thoughts but her curiosity remained.

“Well, I suppose…” she tried, but still, she could not think of something to say.

“Is it because you find yourself in a similar quandary?”

Faith’s eyes snapped to her aunt’s.

“Heavens no.”

“Oh, I don’t mean that you’re seeking to be someone’s mistress, my dear,” Aunt Belle said as she made her way to the settee. She patted the cushion next to her, prompting Faith to come and sit down at her side. “I only mean to say that, has someone caught your attentions the way dear Georgie was ensnared by my charms?”

Faith’s mouth pulled up into a smirk. Even at seventy-six, Aunt Belle was confident of her appeal and wasn’t wrong. The old woman was quite charming. And part of that charm, so far as Faith could tell, came from her utter frankness and total lack of shame. Even though speaking to an innocent young woman about romantic affairs would be taboo in most households—Lord knew Hope would disapprove—Faith knew she only had to ask, and Belle would reveal everything she knew.

Which was tempting, to say the least. She had many questions she wished to have answered, but she wasn’t sure how to ask. Her eyes flickered to Andrews, who was staring straight ahead.

“Don’t mind him, dear. Andrews is a locked box.”

Faith shook her head.

“Still, I don’t think I could…”

“Very well. Andrews? Leave us, please.”

“My lady,” he said with a nod.

He exited the room, closing the door behind him, and Faith was sure he would stand guard on the other side.

“Now, tell me. Why the sudden interest in my affair with the king?”

“Well, I suppose it’s not so much about what occurred between you and um, His Majesty, particularly, but rather what prompted it.”

“What prompted our affair?”

“Yes.”

“That’s easy. He was madly in love with me.”

Faith smiled.

“Yes, but why did you go through with it? Haven’t you said that he had to ask you three times before you even considered him?”

Aunt Belle eyed her.

“Are you asking if I loved him?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, no. Not at first. But then, Georgie was very persistent.”

“But if you didn’t love him, why go through with all of it?”

Aunt Belle stared across the room; her stare glazed over as if she was remembering some long-ago memory.

“Well, it was a number of things, really. Georgie wasn’t the only person infatuated with me. I had made quite a success of myself on the stage, which had brought me to the notice of the highest members of society. I had several offers from several very prominent peers. I even entertained a few of them, but Georgie was different from the rest.”

“Because he was royalty?”

“Oh, no. Because he was a dreamer,” she said languorously. “He always had these supercilious ideas about life and love. To hear him explain it was really annoying, but somewhat exciting. I could get swept away in his daydreams and, I often did.”

“But didn’t you find it, difficult, to… well. To… you know…” Faith tried as her cheeks warmed. “Go through with it , when you didn’t love him?”

“You mean lay with him? Not at all,” Aunt Belle said, only to quickly amended her words. “I mean to say, while being with someone in that way is certainly better when you’re in love, there is a certain je ne sais quoi to being with someone with whom you share a level of animosity.”

“Animosity?”

Belle’s eyebrows wiggled.

“Oh yes.”

Faith frowned.

“Did you have animosity toward the king?”

Belle sighed and leaned back slightly.

“Yes and no, I suppose. He was certainly sure of himself when we first met and I found his arrogance trying. He thought he was terribly clever and when I cut him once or twice, he became prickly.”

“How so?”

“Oh, would that I could remember exactly, but even if I could, I wouldn’t tell you,” she said with a wink. “However, Georgie would not be deterred. He was determined and in a bout of madness, I may have challenged him.”

“In what way?”

Even at seventy-six, Belle’s wrinkled cheeks turned crimson.

“It’s really not for innocent ladies to hear, my dear.”

Her gaze drifted to the opposite wall where a painting Faith had completed for Belle last Christmas hung. It was a portrait of Belle’s sister, Alice, painted from one of the sketches Faith had done of her the winter prior to her passing. Belle had adored it and, much to Faith’s surprise, had hung it up on the wall in the office.

Faith was sure Belle was worried that Alice would have found their entire conversation inappropriate. But she had to distract her.

“Please,” Faith asked, leaning forward, pulling her aunt’s attention back to her. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I doubt very much you would even be able to bring yourself to repeat it,” Belle said, giving her a thoughtful look. She seemed to debate whether or not to continue, but then she smirked. “But what harm could it do? As long as you don’t think to do something as reckless.”

“I wouldn’t,” Faith said quickly. Too quickly, apparently, for Belle hesitated. “I promise. Besides, who would I even consider challenging?”

Though Belle didn’t say it, and Faith tried to keep her face neutral, they both knew exactly who she would confront. But then one of Belle’s brows lifted, and a flash of satisfaction shone in her eyes. Only for a moment, but Faith found herself wondering what Belle had to be so pleased about.

“Very well,” she said, sitting up straight. “I told Georgie after the ninth or tenth time of him coming to my dressing room that there wasn’t any place in my heart for him and that he should move on. He countered, saying that we might share a single kiss, so as to prove him wrong. In defiance, I offered him an entire evening to prove that there was nothing between us.”

Faith’s intake of breath was soft, and though she knew her aunt had done many wicked things in her life, she hadn’t ever heard word for word about the deeds she had done. Belle continued.

“Being nothing more than a man wanting, he accepted, of course, and we decided on the night. I will not tell you any details, for even I’m not so brazen, but I will tell you that after our evening together, both of us were changed.”

“For the better?”

“For better or worse, I cannot say, but we were different. My prejudice against him softened significantly, as my gamble had not worked, and his arrogance softened as well. He was far more regular after that.” Faith nearly spoke, not understanding, but Belle continued. “What I mean to say is, Georgie became much more human after that. He was no longer the haughty prince who was next in line to the throne. He was merely a man who, due to the circumstance of his birth, could not act like his true self or even be permitted to marry whomever he wanted.” Belle looked at Faith. “Can you imagine telling a king who he is allowed to marry?”

“No,” Faith said. “I cannot.”

“Regardless, I doubt I would have married him even if he had been allowed to do so,” Belle admitted.

“Why?”

But Belle only shook her head. She may have had to tell herself that for so long to lessen the sting of not being able to, and perhaps she had come to believe it, but Faith had her doubts.

“It’s of no matter. Still, with me, Georgie was able to be at peace with himself and the world.” Belle’s gaze turned distant again before adding, “And so was I.”

A bittersweet expression came over her aunt’s face, and Faith felt suddenly unsure. It must have been terribly unfair to not be able to be legally, officially together as a married couple, and yet, Belle and the king had found a small piece of happiness together, as immoral as it was. Perhaps because Faith was feeling particularly sympathetic or because it happened so long ago, she couldn’t quite find fault with their relationship, even though she knew it wasn’t proper.

Faith wondered how Belle had felt toward the king and wondered if it wasn’t similar to how she felt about Logan. Of course, Faith didn’t have any sort of feelings toward Logan except contempt.

Well, perhaps that wasn’t exactly true. She was grateful that he had saved her from that disastrous horseback riding incident. And while their early meetings had sparked some friction, she had to admit that she might have eventually befriended him, if he hadn’t obtained her painting. She had even begun to enjoy his company before learning about that. A part of her had even argued that it was rather forthcoming of him to admit to having it, but it didn’t matter. She and Logan were nothing like Aunt Belle and King George.

“Oh goodness,” Belle said suddenly, shivering. “You’ve made me nostalgic, my dear, but I’m not one to languish in the past. Now, I really must get back to trying to find those letters.”

Faith’s gaze snapped to the clock. A quarter of an hour left. She still needed to keep Aunt Belle from going.

“Wait,” she said quickly, just as Belle began to stand.

She turned to face Faith.

“Yes, dear? What is it?”

“Um, Mr. Harris,” she blurted out. “The elder Mr. Harris, that is.”

Belle gave her a curious look.

“Yes?”

“Do you know much about him?” she asked, uncertain. “I met him when I was at Harris House and he was very kind, but there was a sadness to him I couldn’t quite understand.” Belle’s brow quirked, and Faith pressed. “It’s only that, you know everyone within a hundred miles, and I thought you might be able to tell me a bit about him. I’m quite fond of Arabella, as you know, and wouldn’t want to broach any topics that she might find, well, uncomfortable.”

Belle’s brow lifted as she sat back down, seeming caught off guard by the question.

“Well, let’s see. I met Mr. Harris some twenty years ago, I believe. Yes. Yes, I remember because Mrs. Harris was quite excited to meet with me, although she was heavily pregnant at the time. She had been away from England for nearly a decade and longed to speak with a fellow countrywoman. I made a point to visit her upon learning about her, as she was in confinement and could not pay any calls herself, hoping to strike up a friendship. Not many of the locals particularly liked me when I first came here, but that was only because they didn’t know me.” Belle was so sure of herself that it made Faith smile. “She was one of the first friends I had in this area, you know. Although, the friendship didn’t last very long.”

“Why is that?”

“She left, only months after I came to retire. Perhaps four months? Five? I’m not quite sure. All I know is that Mr. Harris was desperately in love with his wife, and she was desperately in love with not being in the Highlands.”

“Oh?” Faith said, a hint of guilt emerging from the depths of her memories.

Hadn’t she once told Logan how much she wished she could be away from the Highlands and back in London? A pinch of regret nipped at her senses as her hand reached around to the back of her neck.

“Yes. Unfortunately, I believe she fell out of love with Mr. Harris once she realized she couldn’t keep her Highlander in London. It wasn’t a surprise, of course, that they would have to move here, but I believe she had a different idea of what life would be like so far north.”

“Did she ever discuss it with you?”

“Her dislike for Scotland? Oh yes, almost constantly. She didn’t like the weather, the isolation, the mountains, the lochs or even the people. She was desperate for news from London and I told her all I knew, but I had quite finished with town life at that time and wished to mourn my previous life privately.”

Faith quickly did the math in her head and figured that Aunt Belle had come to Scotland not long after George had died and William had been crowned king.

“She left so soon after her daughter was born,” Faith said, pressing on. “Arabella told me as much when I was at Harris House.”

“Yes,” Aunt Belle said gravely. “And you know, my dear, that I do not cast judgment on anyone. But that particular incident did test my patience.”

“I think it’s awful.”

“And it was, but it is not my place to judge anyone. Not after the way I’ve lived my life. Whatever reasons Mrs. Harris had, I’m sure I do not understand, but I will not criticize her.”

“Then you are a better woman than I,” Faith said.

“I’m a better woman than most, my dear, but that is beside the point,” Belle said haughtily, and while Faith was sure she was jesting, she couldn’t help but take note.

“Is that why Mr. Logan Harris is the way he is?”

Belle’s head tilted.

“What way is he?”

“Well, he’s… He’s always been so…”

But the words would not come. All that annoyed Faith about Logan had dissipated, only to reemerge into something different now, and she wasn’t sure who he was anymore. He had been kind to her since her stay at his house; he had even saved her since then. Not to mention his deep appreciation for art.

But she could not forgive his ownership of that painting. Mainly because of what it had meant to her when it had been painted.

Belle waited patiently for Faith to continue, but Faith stood instead and began pacing the floor, trying to solve the problem.

“Can one find someone attractive, even if they’re rude and brooding and overall ill-tempered?” she asked out loud and to no one in particular. “It just seems the opposite of what one would look for, doesn’t it? I mean, it simply makes no sense.”

“No sense at all,” Belle agreed, allowing Faith to continue.

“And if it doesn’t make sense, then how can it possibly be something sustainable?”

“How is what sustainable, my dear?”

Faith opened her mouth to answer but closed it. She couldn’t answer because she wasn’t sure what she was talking about. Instead, she rubbed the back of her neck with her hand and stared across the room.

“Nothing, I suppose.”

“Well, if you mean to ask how Georgie and I got on being so unsuited for one another, I’ll simply leave you with this. Love finds a way.”

Faith watched Belle as she stood up.

“And was it love between you two?”

“Oh yes, my dear. It was.”

Nodding quietly to herself, Faith felt even more confused than she had at the beginning of this revealing discussion. She might try to speak with Logan about what she did not know, but the very idea was unsettling. Her embarrassment over the painting was still at the forefront of her mind, and she couldn’t bear to even consider what he might think of her.

But perhaps she was judging him too harshly, assuming he would think the worst of her? He had kissed her ardently after the runaway horse incident and seemed genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. Whatever the case, Faith knew that she would eventually have to speak with him, and it would undoubtedly be tonight during the ball.

Faith finally permitted Belle to leave as the clock struck five o’clock, exiting the room first to ensure the hallway was clear. Andrews stood just outside the door and winked at Faith briefly to indicate that the coast was truly clear.

“Shall we go to dress for dinner then?” Belle asked, coming up behind Faith.

“Yes, but what do you think of tonight, wearing your finest dress?” Faith suggested.

“Tonight? But why?”

“Oh, no reason.”