Page 48 of Find Me in the Fire (Nighthawks #5)

When I’m coming out of work and I see Dean standing there on the sidewalk like he was that day when we first met, my heart leaps with automatic pleasure before I notice the look on his face. He isn’t smiling.

“Well, well, well,” Dean says, “if it isn’t Miss Loren.”

“Dean,” I gasp. “I…”

I don’t know what to say. I have been horrible to him. I haven’t returned any of his calls. He deserves so much better.

He holds up a hand. “I’ll keep this quick.”

“Dean, I’m so sorry…”

“Stop.” He shakes his head. “I’m not going to stalk you. If you don’t want me—fine. I get it.”

“It’s not… that’s not…”

He shakes his head. When he’s not smiling, there’s no trace of that dimple, but he’s still so handsome. “I had a great time with you the other night. I feel like there’s something between us—something real. I just wanted to tell you that. But you won’t return my calls, so here I am. Telling you.”

I want to cry. That night we had together was one of the best nights I’ve ever had. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m such a mess. Dean is better off without me.

“I told you, I don’t play games,” he says. “I like you, and I’m telling you so. I like you. A lot.” He pauses. “Even if that makes me an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

He smiles crookedly. “I’m not so sure.”

“You have to understand that I—”

He holds his hand up again. “Save it. I don’t want the excuses. If you’re interested, give me a call. If not, well, I hope you have a good life.”

He means it. Even as awful as I’ve been to him, he doesn’t wish me any ill will. It makes me think of the things I’ve done to Olive. I was petty and horrible. I hate myself.

But things are different now. After what Nick told me, I have to take action. This isn’t a matter of getting revenge for having been wronged.

I don’t promise Dean I’ll call him. He doesn’t want an empty promise and I won’t do that to him. I watch him walk away with a sinking feeling in my stomach that I’m making the worst mistake of my life.