Page 8 of Filthy and Fierce (Stone Cold Cowboys #1)

FAITH

I overslept. Which is not something you do on a ranch. I walked into my bedroom at four a.m., and I told myself I was going to sleep for an hour, but here it is, ten o’clock, and I feel like I could have slept another five hours.

As I’m walking down to the barn, I have tiny slivers of pain in every muscle of my body.

Hell, some muscles I didn't know anything about until last night. But now, as I stretch my body as I walk, I can’t seem to keep the smile off my face, and it stays there until I’m standing outside the barn, a little unsure how to proceed.

Dixon and I decided that one night was all this is going to be. It felt like more when he wouldn’t let me leave, making excuses to kiss me just one more time.

Maybe he’s had a change of heart. Maybe he’ll decide one night isn’t enough, and we can see if we can actually make a go of this… Whatever this is.

I stand outside the office, and I hear my father and Dixon talking about the rodeo this weekend .

I know I need to go in there because it will be embarrassing to be caught eavesdropping outside the door. I pull my shoulders back and wince because even that hurts. I force a smile onto my face and walk in the office, knocking on the open door as I go. “Hey, guys.”

My dad comes over and side-hugs me. “Well, well, there she is. I guess you decided to sleep in today.”

I nod, avoiding Dixon’s gaze. “Yes, I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

Dixon coughs. “So everything is set up for the weekend. We’ll take both trucks and trailers, rooms are booked, and?—”

Charlie points at me. “What about you, honey? What’s your plan for the weekend? You thinking about going into the city to see some of your friends? I’m sure you’ve been missing them.”

My forehead creases. “Uh, no. I was actually hoping to go to the rodeo this weekend, but I mean, if you think I’ll be in the way or…”

I let my voice trail off. I sound pathetic, but I don’t know what else to think. Dixon clears his throat. “You should go to the rodeo. I’ll book an extra room.”

I look at him curiously, trying to see if there’s something more to what he’s saying, but he changes the subject again. “Okay, well, that’s settled. I better get back to work.”

Dad nods his head. “Me too, me too. You have anything Faith can do to help out?”

Dixon huffs his breath like he’s over having to babysit me or something. “Yeah, I’m sure I can come up with something.”

Dad kisses the top of my head, tells Dixon and me bye, and then walks out the door, leaving me staring at Dixon and him looking everywhere but at me.

He starts to ask a question while looking over my shoulder at the wall. I almost move around so he’s forced to look me in the eyes, but I don’t. I hold perfectly still. “You okay… I mean are you feeling… okay?”

I nod. “Yeah, sure. I’m fine. Are you okay?” I have to ask him because he looks anything but okay. As a matter of fact, he looks like he’s not doing well at all. His hair is all over the place, he has dark circles under his eyes, and his shirt is rumpled.

He nods, still not looking at me “Yeah, I’m fine.”

I slap my hands together softly. “Uh, okay, so I don’t want this to be weird.”

Finally, he looks at me, and all my hopes that he may have changed his mind and wants more than one night go down the drain. Only now, when I’m reassuring him that he has an out, does he look at me, and he’s obviously relieved. “Right, it doesn’t need to be weird.”

I nod. “We said one night. We did it and got it out of our systems.”

He grunts. “Right… out of our systems.”

The longer I stand here, the more awkward it gets. I point my thumb over my shoulder. “I’m going to go help Carl do the feeding and watering and then go check fences.”

I wait for him to tell me no. He’s made sure to keep me away from Carl and Eddie since I got in town, so I’m waiting on him to give me some reason why I can’t help him.

When he nods his head, it’s like a kick in the gut.

He really meant it when he said one night.

I turn on my heel and am almost out the door when Dixon stops me.

I twirl so fast on my feet I almost stumble.

He walks toward me. For just a second, I think he’s going to reach for me, but instead he crosses his arms over his chest. “You should probably take the side-by-side.”

I scrunch up my nose. “Why?”

His cheeks turn ruddy, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him embarrassed. He points to my lower body. “It’s just… it might… uh… hurt a little if you rode a horse.”

It’s my turn to be embarrassed, and I back out of the office. “Uh, right. Okay. I’ll take the side-by-side.”

I walk out of the barn and try to get my emotions together.

I should not have gotten my hopes up, and now I’m going to have to figure out how to live and work here with Dixon.

It’s going to be pure hell for me, and I’m not looking forward to it.

Oh God, and when he meets someone… I let the thought simmer until the anxiety builds so much I have to remind myself to breathe and then count as I breathe in and out.

“Hey… you okay?” Carl asks.

I force a smile to my face. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I was actually coming to look for you. I was going to help you feed and check fences.”

He looks past me, and I turn to see what he’s looking at, but I don’t see anything or anyone.

Carl tucks his hands in his pockets. “Uh, does Dixon know about this?”

I nod. “Yeah, I just talked to him about it.”

He asks. “Yeah, and he was all right with it?”

I put a hand on my hip. “He’s not the boss of me, Carl. Now I’m going to check fences. If you’re going, fine. If not, I’ll see you when I get back.”

He throws his hands up and follows me toward the barn. “I’ll saddle Bessie for you.”

After my little speech, I don't want to be picky and tell him I’d prefer to take the side-by-side, so I grab a saddle off the wall while he gets Bessie out of the stall. We work together, saddling the horse.

As soon as it’s done, I put a foot in the stirrup and heft myself up onto Bessie’s back. I gently sit down and suck in a breath. Oh, hell no. It hurts so bad, and just when I think I’m going to get off the horse, Dixon comes out of the office at the other end of the barn.

Carl is stammering and stuttering, “She said you knew she was going with me.”

Dixon glares at him. “Yeah, I know, but remember what I said, Carl.”

He nods. “Yes, sir.”

Dixon gestures, pointing out of the barn. “Go wait outside for Faith. She’ll be out in a minute.”

Carl gives me a look of sympathy. He probably thinks I’m about to get in trouble or something. As soon as Carl leaves, Dixon stands in front of me, petting Bessie’s nose. “I thought I told you to take the side-by-side.”

I grit my teeth. I’m in a hell of a lot of pain, but I’ll never admit that to him. “Like I told Carl, you’re not the boss of me.”

He nods once, and I know he’s pissed by the way his nostrils flare. “So you’re going to go ride fences, hurting. And don’t tell me you’re not in pain because I can see it written all over your face.”

I look straight ahead. “It’s not your concern, Dixon, so can I go now?”

He doesn’t say anything, and I pick up the reins to go, but he stops me. “I didn’t mean to be rough with you, Faith.”

This time, it’s my turn to avoid his gaze. There’s no reason he needs to see that he’s breaking my heart. “I don’t need your apology, Dixon. Can I go now?”

He huffs out a breath. “Yeah, go ahead. Be safe. Wait,” he says before walking over the wall. He positions a rifle into the scabbard on my saddle. “Be safe.”

Maybe earlier or even yesterday I would be swooning that he’s worried about me and wants to protect me, but now I know he’s doing it because I’m my father’s daughter, and that’s it.

“Bye, Dixon.”

It sounds so final. I click my tongue, and Bessie starts walking, and Carl is waiting for me.

He looks anxious, making me wonder what Dixon had meant when he told Carl to remember what he said.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask, but I shake the thought away.

I’m going to forget about Dixon and quit thinking about all the ways he touched and kissed me last night.

It’s over… and it will never happen again.