Page 5

H ealing was taking so long. Baylor had convinced himself he would never get better. But he also became a little more aware every day of the body that held him each night. Cuddling became less about warmth and more about need. Maybe Baylor hadn’t eaten much in a week and a half, but Chipper had forced water in him, and these goddamn tattooed abs were making him insane. They were too close for Baylor’s sanity.

He knew Chipper wasn’t asleep. There was a stillness in the air that didn’t exist when Chipper slept. It was like the entire universe held its breath, waiting to see what Chipper did next. He was such a goofy force of nature. Surely, he fascinated the universe every bit as much as he did Baylor. With zero permission from his brain, Baylor’s fingertips skimmed the abs he wanted to lick. Chipper’s muscles tensed for a second, as if surprised by the touch.

Embarrassment had Baylor making up excuses. “How many years has it taken to get all these tattoos?”

Chipper sounded groggy when he responded, as if he had almost been asleep. It was no wonder he flinched at Baylor’s touch. Baylor felt guilty. “I started as soon as I turned eighteen, so fourteen years.”

So he was thirty-two. Baylor felt like he should have known that. He forced his eyes closed. Chipper needed sleep. Baylor was the only one who had slept nonstop for over a week. His mind didn’t want to stop zooming. That wasn’t Chipper’s problem.

“I’ve tried so hard to be respectful when I help you dress. I’ve never noticed. Do you have any ink?”

Chipper always left the bathroom light on and the door slightly ajar. It lit the room enough for them to see at night without tripping on the way to the bathroom. Baylor took off his shirt and rolled so Chipper could see his back. His eyes fell closed and chill bumps rose on his skin when Chipper traced the numbers above the soccer ball on his back.

“What’s this date?”

A tear slipped from the corner of his eye and landed on the bed. Baylor hadn’t thought he had any left to shed. “I lost a bet.” He cleared his throat. “I think I should get out of your hair tomorrow. You still have some time left before your fight to train. You’ll get more done without me here.”

Warm lips touched his shoulder.

A shaky breath fell from Baylor’s lips. Baylor could only end up hurting Chipper, but he didn’t know how to say no. It had been so long since anyone touched him. He had nothing to offer, but Chipper’s mouth felt perfect on his skin. At some point, Chipper had slipped beneath his walls. He didn’t have the strength to shove him out again.

Chipper scooted closer. His hard body molded against Baylor’s back. A warm breath caressed his ear as Chipper kissed its shell. Baylor felt like he would fly apart into a thousand pieces any second.

“Tell me what you need to stay.”

Something shattered inside Baylor. He heard the pieces fall inside his head like a broken mirror slipping from its frame. What did it matter? There was nothing left of him to take.

Baylor rolled. His mouth found Chipper’s. Chipper’s hands stayed polite. His kiss was disrespectful as hell. If Baylor had any strength to stop before that moment, it vanished with a swipe of Chipper’s tongue. With the slightest push, Baylor was beneath him. There was nothing between them except their thin pajama pants. A random thought hit from nowhere. He had been well enough to sleep in another room for a few days now. Chipper didn’t have to hold him to keep him warm or watch him to keep him alive. Baylor chose Chipper’s bed. It was a huge betrayal.

Baylor pushed at Chipper’s chest. Panic threatened to choke the life from him.

Chipper immediately rolled away, giving him space. “Are you okay? I shouldn’t have pawed at you while you’re still sick. I’m so sorry.”

Baylor sucked air, fighting the anxiety attack. It wasn’t Chipper’s fault. He couldn’t let such a great guy think he had done anything wrong. “You’re fine. Sorry.” He took a few more breaths. His teeth started to chatter. He hadn’t gotten this bad in months. “Sorry,” he said again.

“Stop apologizing and tell me what’s wrong.” He rubbed Baylor’s arms. He looked so worried. Baylor didn’t know how to say any of the words he needed to say.

“I just need a minute.” He rolled from the bed and headed for the bathroom. In the safety of the locked bathroom, Baylor gripped the edge of the sink. He couldn’t look at his reflection. If he caught sight of the pain in his eyes, it would be real. He couldn’t survive it being real. His panicked gaze shot around the room. He had to get out. Baylor had to get away before he destroyed an amazing man. Chipper didn’t deserve this.

His gaze landed on the door that led to the next bedroom. He didn’t hesitate. Baylor had to be fast. Baylor turned the water on in the sink to cover the sound of his leaving and darted for the door. All the years of sneaking out of the house as a teen came to his rescue now. Once he was down the hall, he was home free. His phone was on the kitchen counter and his shoes were by the door. Baylor didn’t need anything else. Everything else was replaceable. He shot out the back door and was down the street before he took a full breath. Too late, he realized he had left his wallet behind. Baylor sat on the curb and covered his eyes. The tears came. Sobs racked his body. He didn’t even understand himself. How could he explain anything to Chipper? There were some truths that could never be repeated.

Just as he somehow knew he would, Chipper appeared from nowhere. He looked stoic and way too fucking understanding. With the smallest effort, he scooped Baylor from the ground and headed back inside. He didn’t question Baylor or lecture him. Chipper simply took off Baylor’s shoes and put him back to bed. When he walked away, Baylor fought the urge to beg him not to go. But Chipper was back in no time, the way he always was. He brought a warm washcloth and cleaned Baylor’s face. Afterward, he climbed back into bed and went back to holding Baylor.

He kissed Baylor’s temple. “Close your eyes. I’ll get you home to Bandit tomorrow.”

For a long while, Baylor stared at the ceiling. As always, the anger and bitterness set in. Life was so goddamn unfair. Chipper deserved better than the broken man he held.

There wasn’t a chance in hell Chipper would sleep after that. He had no clue what happened, but he would find out. When Chipper had a goal, he was like a dog with a bone. He didn’t give up and the mystery of Baylor had him in its grip. Part of him wondered if Baylor was in love with Bandit. They were best friends, but they didn’t seem inseparable or anything. Bandit wasn’t here taking care of Baylor. But Chipper had a bad feeling, whatever was happening, Baylor needed Bandit more than him. He had a soccer ball tattooed on his back, for fuck’s sake. Chipper couldn’t compete with whatever they had.

“I’d like to try again.”

The quietly spoken words shocked the hell out of Chipper. His determination had Chipper’s brain completely switching gears. Had someone hurt Baylor? It was one explanation that fit his behavior. If so, he put a hell of a lot of trust in Chipper. Chipper had a lot of self-control. He could pull out all the stops to make Baylor comfortable.

“If that’s what you want.” Chipper made no move to touch him. “You’re in charge, though. That way, you can stop anywhere you like. Don’t worry about me. I can take a lot of abuse.”

A weak chuckle burst from Baylor like a huff. “Abuse? I suppose that’s fair.” He rolled Chipper’s way. His fingers skimmed Chipper’s stomach. “From the first time we met, I guess I’ve been a little difficult.”

“Apparently, I like my men a little mean.”

Baylor pinched him.

Chipper rubbed the spot like it hurt, even though it didn’t. “See? Abuse.”

“You’re right.” He kissed the place he pinched. His lips lingered. Chipper hoped like hell he hadn’t been lying to himself about that control. He wanted Baylor more than he had ever wanted anyone.

“I take it back. You’re passionate.”

He felt Baylor smile against his skin. “That’s better.” His mouth moved to Chipper’s collarbone. “You’re beautiful. I know you know that, but it’s from the inside out.”

Chipper smiled. “I don’t know how to feel. You complimented me and called me conceited at the same time.”

“Not conceited.” He licked Chipper’s neck, making him pant. “Confident. Don’t worry. Confidence is sexy. Your eyes are amazing. They’re almost at odds with the rest of you. They’re soft and sweet with the most gorgeous lashes. But the eyes are the window to the soul, or so they say. With you, it’s true.”

Fuck. He got the feeling Baylor needed to keep talking to stay grounded, but Chipper never expected Baylor to make him feel like this. Like he was special. “You have beautiful eyes too. That’s the first thing I noticed about you. Your gorgeous eyes flashed with fire and so much annoyance when we met.”

He felt more than heard Baylor chuckle against his skin. Baylor’s hand slipped inside Chipper’s pants unexpectedly. Chipper prayed for strength. Baylor lightly stroked him before pushing Chipper’s pants down. Chipper lifted just enough to make Baylor’s job easier. His skin was on fire. He still didn’t know if this would go anywhere. Chipper feared for his sanity.

Baylor sucked his neck. “If I start crying again, please don’t think it has anything to do with you. I’m trying really hard to find my way, but I don’t want to stop.”

Yeah. He was going to die. Chipper had never been so aware of anyone’s touch. “If you need to stop, I’ll be okay.” Chipper was pretty sure that was the biggest lie he had ever told.

“I know you want me to be in charge, but I don’t know where anything is—like condoms or whatever.”

Damn. Chipper would have to get involved, and he worried Baylor would stop touching him again the moment he became the aggressor in any way. “Tell me what you want. Step by step, so I don’t go too far.”

Baylor pulled back and cocked his head. He studied Chipper’s face for a moment. “I’m not scared of you.” A sad smile touched his lips. “I’m just fucked up. You deserve more than I might be able to give. Please don’t think any of my bullshit is on you. It isn’t. You’re amazing and I want you. I’m just…” For a moment, Baylor looked beyond lost and broken. “I want you,” he repeated. “You should get that condom.”

Chipper didn’t need to be told again. He rolled and pulled open the bedside drawer. Once he had the lube and a condom, he rolled back, half expecting his thirty-second distraction had changed the mood again. Instead, he found Baylor nude.

His gaze slid down Baylor’s body, taking in the gorgeous skin and dark hair. “Goddamn. You’re stunning.”

Baylor skimmed his fingertips down Chipper’s arm. His gaze followed the path of his fingers. A quick smile passed over his lips. “If you don’t get sick after this, you’re fucking immortal.”

A laugh burst from Chipper. It quickly died as he realized Baylor probably felt too bad to be doing this. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

Baylor stroked his erection, making Chipper’s mouth water. “I’m definitely up, but you’ll have to do the work. My energy is zapped. I probably shouldn’t have gone for an impromptu run.” A wry smile touched his lips. “I have no idea why you want me. You must be completely insane.”

Chipper shifted positions, going up on his knees. He kissed Baylor’s stomach. “I get my ass kicked for a living. Are you just now figuring out I’m crazy? Life on the edge, baby. That’s the only life for me.” He licked Baylor’s cock, lingering for a moment to worship his crown. The shaky way Baylor breathed was like music to his ears. He blindly opened the condom and rolled it down his length. Chipper had to keep Baylor distracted and interested. He flipped open the tube of lube and coated the condom. Chipper planned each move the same way he did on the mat. Baylor had panicked when Chipper had been on top of him. This time, he hooked Baylor’s knee and used his training against him. He quickly twisted Baylor’s body while he slipped his hips beneath him. In a matter of seconds, he had Baylor on his side and his cock seeking entrance.

Baylor reached over his shoulder and cupped the back of Chipper’s head, pulling him closer and silently begging for more.

Chipper kissed his neck as he slowly pushed his way inside. Baylor was so fucking tight, and Chipper hadn’t taken the time he should to get him ready. In his heart, he knew if he had tried, Baylor would have freaked out again. Baylor wasn’t panicking now. He pushed back, trying to take what he wanted. Chipper couldn’t breathe. Baylor felt incredible.

“You’re so much better than I imagined.”

Baylor chuckled. It was a winded sound, reminding Chipper that Baylor wasn’t at a hundred percent. Hell, he probably wasn’t at thirty. “How often have you imagined?”

Chipper thrust, going root deep. A growl escaped him as possessiveness overtook him. “Every goddamn day since the moment I first saw you.”

Baylor shook.

Chipper pumped inside him with shallow thrusts, trying not to abuse him. He was small and felt delicate. Chipper had never been more aware of his strength. Baylor felt fragile in his arms. Precious. Chipper needed to savor the moment. Worship his obsession. He couldn’t stop kissing every place he could reach.

Baylor tried pushing back again, restless in his arms. “Please?”

“Say what you want. You have to be in charge.” If Baylor wanted to stop now because Chipper went too far, Chipper would perish. No dramatics. He was a man on the edge.

“Fuck me. I won’t break.”

That was all the permission Chipper needed. He rolled, forcing Baylor to his knees. He dug his knees into the bed for traction and slammed inside Baylor. The satisfied moan that sounded like it came from Baylor’s soul told him everything. Baylor liked it rough. Chipper obliged. He held Baylor’s hips and pounded his ass. Hip control was a big factor in martial arts. He knew how to hold the perfect position and angle for as long as Baylor needed. The sounds coming from Baylor got more desperate by the second. Chipper ground his back teeth to a pulp. He was inside Baylor—the man he had craved and stalked—and his body knew it.

Baylor scratched at the sheets. His cries turned muffled, as if he bit the bed. Chipper couldn’t take it. He was too close and every move Baylor made was too sexy. He reached around and grabbed Baylor’s cock. Chipper stroked, beating his dick like he jacked himself off. Baylor’s body suddenly clenched so tightly, Chipper saw stars and then a cry bounced from the walls. Baylor’s asshole tried sucking him deeper. A loud groan tore from his throat as cum shot from him with a force that nearly blinded him. As they collapsed into a gasping heap, Chipper turned at the last second, ensuring his weight didn’t land on Baylor.

With his arm and leg thrown across Baylor’s sweat-covered body, he fought to catch his breath. It was odd. He could go rounds on the mat without getting winded. This was something else. Baylor had stolen the air from his lungs and the soul from his body.

He ran his fingers through Baylor’s hair. Baylor was too quiet. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t think I can move.”

Panic hit Chipper. Had he been too rough? He jumped to his knees and rolled Baylor to his back. Baylor genuinely seemed to be made of rubber. He was like a lifeless doll. “I’m sorry. You should’ve told me to stop. I would never hurt you. Tell me what to do.”

Baylor laughed. It came out as a wheeze. “I’m fine. I’m just covered in cum and now I’m just chilling in the wet spot without a single working muscle. This virus will be the death of me.”

Chipper’s shoulders sagged. He had honestly thought he had done some sort of damage. Chipper shook his head and stole a kiss. “I’d never let you die.” He kissed Baylor’s chin. “I’d also never make you sleep in the wet spot. Don’t worry. I can get you cleaned up, and these sheets changed without you having to move a muscle. You’d be surprised at how adept I am.”

Baylor’s arm lifted. His hand shook as he ran his fingers through Chipper’s hair. “No. I wouldn’t. Nothing you do could surprise me. I’m fully convinced you’re magic.”

Chipper’s throat swelled. There was something in Baylor’s eyes. Like he had said, they were the window to the soul. Chipper got his first good look at Baylor’s. It was totally shattered.