Page 31 of Fighting Conviction

Dev lifted one of her legs and raised it around his hip. She was on the very tip of the small ledge and he ground his shaft into her core, with only the thin fabric of their workout clothes between them. When he hit just the right spot, Ellie shuddered. He grinned against her lips and repeated the motion, forcing Ellie to moan into his mouth.

“Fuck, Ellie. I need to be inside you.”

The words sent a frisson of anxious excitement down her spine and her hands began to tremble on his shoulders. On instinct, she bit his bottom lip as it brushed against hers. He groaned into her mouth and ripped away before traveling down her jawline. Open-mouthed kisses to the base of her neck turned into small bites that made her jump farther against his shaft.

He scooped her raised leg over his forearm, lifting her butt from the metal table ledge. The angle made it impossible for her to stand on her own, forcing her to lie back on the cold steel.

Thereallycold steel.

A shiver wracked through her until his other hand stroked up her bare stomach. Fingers grazing the bottom of her bra made her squirm before they pulled down the zipper in the front. She yelped when her unzipped bra popped open, exposing her.

A breath took too much of her concentration to inhale, taking her out of the moment. She reached her hands to the side but felt hard, cold wall against her fingertips. She was completely caged in.

Her panties and loose shorts were pushed to the side. Cold air burned her entrance, drawing Ellie’s attention to the fact she was completely vulnerable in front of a man for the first time.

Not the first time.

The threat of a memory caught in Ellie’s brain. She shook her head, desperate to flee from the fog in her mind, only to be surrounded.

Please. Not now. I want this.

There’s an aura to the worst flashbacks. They roll in like the trembling breath just before a confession, promising to reveal a moment the subconscious tried to shelter you from. Every time, the memory tasted like a lie as it came to the forefront of her mind, making it almost impossible to believe that something so horrible had happened in her life. Even faced with the truth, most of the time she still questioned if she’d even lived through it at all.

I am safe. I am in control. I am here in this moment.

Ellie had refused to delve deeper into her memories of what had happened to her, hoping that healing the surface would be enough. But over time, she’d come to realize the undercurrent of her past was always there, swirling around, biding its time before it could drag her under the surface.

“Ellie?”

I want this. I want this. I want this.

Her name was a muffled plea, barely registering in her mind. Tingles that had felt so good before, sparked along her skin like electric shocks, making her jump against strong arms. Her breathing, once bated with anticipation, increased to forced rasps and she clawed at whatever was binding her chest, trying to free her lungs to get air inside. Trying to see past the man on top of her, Ellie could tell the walls were stretching to tower over them in the small space. Snapping her legs closed, Ellie kicked at the man holding her, even as a part of her deep down wanted to tug him close to stay in the moment.

I want this.

I want… this.

I… want… this.

I… I… don’t…

I don’t want this.

She succumbed to the fog and everything around her flashed white.

The sound of ripping fabric invaded Ellie’s eardrums. Hands grabbed at her chest, tearing into the dress Sasha had painstakingly made for the party. Her body jolted as her back hit the cold floor.

Sweaty fingers painfully groped down her breasts and torso before pushing aside the only cloth she had left to protect her.

NO.

She screamed in silence.

Dirty fingers. Scratching. Digging. Pressure. She burned until she was empty again.

On fire, inside and out.

“Ellie!”