Page 55 of Fierce-Matt
“Like me, though I’m minus the degree. I went to community college and couldn’t even finish that. I have three more classes to go, but a general studies degree doesn’t do much good.”
It would at least prove she could start and finish something though.
It killed her to not take those last few classes, but there was so much going on at home with EJ and she couldn’t focus. It feltlike such a waste of time and money, that she found a full-time job instead.
One of many that she’d changed over the years.
“You should never discount an education.”
“I’m not,” she said. “I think I’ve always been one of those people who lived in the moment.”
Which might explain why she had bad days so often. She couldn’t look past the tool that Matt had been around her and her frustration, anger, and hatred grew rather than opening up.
Telling him how he made her feel.
He would have stopped back then.
He would have apologized.
She denied him that chance because she was losing her world to frustration and hurt at home along with the disappointment in herself.
She wasn’t smart like her friends.
She wasn’t athletic either.
There was nothing about her that stood out, causing her to blend into the background and get lost.
Her parents spent so much time dealing with EJ’s issues and tantrums, the disruption of the family, that she did everything she could to keep the peace.
That meant not telling anyone how she really felt.
She was the one that got hurt in the end.
Until she put her foot down with the last guy she dated who took off with a few thousand he’d borrowed from her to say she mattered. It was time to put herself first.
He’d scarred her heart, but she stopped him from scarring any other part of her body.
“There isn’t anything wrong with that.”
“I tell myself there isn’t, but if I’m not happy, it’s not good either.”
He tilted his head.“Nothingin your life is happy?”
“I sound like such a wuss. That’s a lie. I think I’m not satisfied. I’m thirty years old and though I’ve got a career that looks good today it wasn’t six months ago. I’m working a part-time job to give me breathing room because I feared I might not get another commission. I don’t like the hustle and bustle and grind and backstabbing of this job. It’s not me.”
“That I can understand,” he said. “But you don’t have to be that way. Think of your first clients. They went with you because you went out of your way to be accommodating and nice.”
“I’ve thought of that. And how many first-time homebuyers are out there and need more of a gentle hand. They aren’t buying the million-dollar properties that everyone is fighting over.”
“That’s right. Your commission isn’t as high, but if the reward is a job well done and you gave them a great experience, that’s rewarding in itself.”
“Why haven’t I thought of that?”
“Hey, looks like I’m good for having around in more than one way.”
“What is that other way?” she asked.
“Arm candy,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
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