Page 5 of Fierce-Matt (Fierce Matchmaking #19)

FEEL LIKE A FOOL

Such a waste of good looks on a jackass.

Matt Kelly walked into the tasting room looking like sex on a stick in his suit, butting in front of paying customers, and having his brother get him a beer.

She’d heard Ben’s name paged but had thought little of it.

Until she noticed Matt walk with his brother in the back of the tasting room.

Matt was cockier than the only rooster in the henhouse.

The older brother of her best friend that she’d always had a little crush on.

But he’d... crushed her crush.

His jokes and interruption of her time with Phoebe used to make her laugh.

Even make her feel special that he’d seek her out.

The more she laughed, the worse he got.

Until sometimes he made her feel like a fool.

She’d gotten enough of that at home from her brother.

She handed another beer over and reached for her cell phone in her back pocket when it vibrated.

“Yes,” she said, doing a fist pump.

“Everything okay?” Justin asked, grinning at her as he stood next to her behind the bar.

“The offer that I wrote up and sent in this morning was just accepted.”

She was thankful to have gotten that call while she was helping her mother clean out EJ’s room. It gave her enough time to run home and prepare it, send it in, and not have to worry about pulling her away from work today.

“Congratulations,” Justin said. “If that keeps up you won’t want to work here.”

She snorted. “Nah. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll do that.”

“Really?” Justin said. “I thought you loved it.”

She wasn’t so sure she loved any career she’d had. She was still searching for the one to give her some kind of fulfillment.

Anya didn’t want to insult anyone and say serving beer wasn’t doing that either, but she had fun here and the tips were great.

She needed to have some fun in her life almost as much as the extra income.

“It’s a job,” she said. “Do you mind if I take my break when Stewart comes in?”

“That was the plan,” Justin said.

They’d have the overlap for a few hours and then she and Stewart would be the only two on before they closed down at nine.

She filled more drafts for the next ten minutes, Stewart joined them behind the bar, and she left to take thirty minutes for herself.

She first called her clients, informing them of their accepted offer and outlining the next steps.

Once that call was complete, she had twenty more minutes and went outside to eat the packed lunch she’d brought with her.

It was earlier than she thought she’d be eating, but she was starving. She’d get something else later on her shorter fifteen-minute break.

“Hi.”

Anya turned her head to see the sexy jerk standing not far from the bench she was sitting on.

What a way to spoil her appetite.

“Hi,” she said and took a bite of her sandwich, hoping she could swallow it without gagging. Maybe he’d get the hint and move away.

He didn’t. He came closer and sat next to her.

“How are you doing?”

“Good. You?”

He laughed. “Not bad now that you’re talking to me. I thought about what you said.”

“When was that?” she asked. She didn’t have time for him and wished he hadn’t come into her place of work to talk to her. It was hard enough for her to be honest with him before.

He closed one eye at her. “At Ben’s wedding when you told me I was a jerk and you’d never forget the things I did.”

“Did it bruise your ego?” She put her sandwich down in her lap. She was going to lose her appetite. It’d taken her years to learn to stand up for herself, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed it.

He smirked and reached into her baggie full of chips for one. “Slightly.”

“Only that, huh?”

“More than slightly,” he said. His head was tilted as he assessed her. He was looking more serious than humorous. “You’ve changed.”

“I don’t get walked all over anymore,” she said. “It’s not healthy.”

When he frowned, she wished she could have taken that back.

How could you take back the truth?

She’d been taken advantage of way too much in her life. It not only added stress but hurt her feelings and hammered her confidence into the ground.

“I’m sorry for what I did in my youth. I had no idea you felt that way. I wish I had.”

She was stunned he was apologizing. Sincerely apologizing, one of his hands dropping on top of hers in a soft caress.

Not the guy that secretly called himself Mighty Matt when no one was around.

She’d only known because she’d overheard him talking to himself in the mirror in his room one night when she’d spent the night.

She’d left Phoebe’s room to go to the bathroom and heard Matt’s voice across the hall.

Stupid secret crush and curiosity of a fourteen-year-old had her peering into the crack left by his partially closed door.

Sixteen-year-old shirtless Matt had haunted her dreams for years.

Not always in a good way either.

“I doubt it would have made you stop.”

His lips were almost invisible as they pressed together in thought. The old Matt would have blurted something stupid out. “Do you have that poor of an opinion of me?” he asked. His voice was quieter than it’d been.

Dare she say he looked hurt by her words?

She hadn’t thought that was possible, but she didn’t want to be responsible for making someone feel the way she’d felt so much in her life.

She’d be honest. “I used to.” She shrugged. “I don’t know you now.”

She’d changed—maybe he had too. There was nothing wrong with giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Holding onto old feelings hindered new ones.

Her hand was waving up and down in front of him in his fancy suit. He didn’t look like the kid that made her secretly cry when she got home from Phoebe’s house.

He always boasted he was going to be an attorney.

Phoebe said the same, but she hadn’t bragged or boasted about it as Matt had.

Anya always felt stupid around Matt, but never Phoebe. Her best friend didn’t make her feel less than someone else.

Anya had always wanted to be like other people, comparing and trying to measure up, but she often fell short.

“I’m the same guy,” he said.

“If you were, you wouldn’t be sitting here talking to me calmly. You would have come up from behind me and startled me into throwing my lunch in the air until it landed on the ground leaving me nothing to eat on my break.”

He stared into her eyes and exhaled. “That’s a dick move to do to a woman.”

She lifted one eyebrow. “There you go.”

“I might have done that to you as a kid, not as a woman. I’ve matured significantly in the last decade.”

“I believe your career has forced that on you.”

“It has,” he said, stealing another chip. “But that’s not the only place I’ve matured.”

She grinned at him stealing her lunch. A touch of the old him still there and it didn’t bother her for some reason.

“Apology accepted then,” she said. “If you’ve really changed, then I’m happy for the next person.”

“Next person?” he asked.

“The next woman you spend time with.”

“Why can’t it be you?” he asked.

“What?” She coughed on the bite of her sandwich she’d just taken. She was running out of time and wanted to eat before she was back to work. What she thought was going to be a tense conversation hadn’t turned into it... until now.

“I said why can’t you spend some time with me to see if I’ve changed?”

“Because I’m not strong enough to set myself up for that kind of disappointment.”

“Ouch,” he said. He was smirking, but she saw the hurt behind his eyes. His hand going to his heart only added to his playfulness. It differed from a decade ago though. She recognized that.

“I’m sure you can take it,” she said.

She doubted anything she said would bother him. It never did before.

“Got your phone with you?”

She frowned. “Always.”

“Hand it over,” he said, putting his large hand out. She stared at him and didn’t make a move to do it. “I’m not going to throw it on the ground and stomp on it.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” But she pulled it out of her back pocket and handed it over.

“Unlock it,” he said, crossing his eyes.

It didn’t make her laugh. “Why?” she asked, hesitating.

“So I can put my number in it.”

She took it back and put it in her pocket instead. “Give me yours.”

He didn’t hesitate to hand it over after he unlocked it. “See. I trust you.”

Which was saying a lot because who the heck knew what kind of communication was on his phone work-related?

She went to his contacts and added her name, then handed it back after she sent herself a text.

“I’m not as mean as you,” she said.

He smiled. The humor reached his blue eyes. His shoulders relaxed too. She hadn’t realized he might have been as tense as her.

He was clean-shaven, but she’d seen him with facial hair too. He’d gone through a stage in college and came home with it.

Her seventeen-year-old self might have first realized what horny meant even though she still hated the interactions they had.

Once in a while, he’d be nice. He’d compliment her.

He’d made her think he wasn’t going to make her the center stage of some joke.

Then her hopes would be squashed like the Jolly Green Giant stepping on a butterfly.

She didn’t think he was ever going to grow up.

Guess she was wrong.

“Now what?” she asked.

“Now I wait for you to make that step and reach out to me.”

She closed one eye at him. “So you can figure out a way to make me the subject of one of your pranks and ghost me or something?”

His smile dropped. The lightness from his eyes faded too. His shoulders got rigid again. “I really did a number on you. I’m sorry. Really sorry. I was stupid as a teen.”

“You said that last month.”

“And you don’t believe it?”

She shrugged. “Does it matter if I do?”

“I want you to,” he mumbled.

She didn’t know what to make of this person and wasn’t sure she had the mental energy to figure it out.

“I’ve got to get back to work.”

She stood up and he did the same. “I’ve changed. I mean it. But I understand if you don’t believe me. I hope you do and give me a chance to prove it to you.”

“I’m not sure why it matters so much,” she said. “You’ve always had women crawling all over you. I’m sure now it’s not any different.”

He mirrored her expression, closing one eye. “I’m not going to address that statement. I’ll just say that I’m single and haven’t been in a relationship for a year. The last one wasn’t that long either. Just a few months.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“So that you learn to trust me. Sometimes you’ve got to give a little to get something back.”

“I’m not sure what I’ve got, you want, Matt.”

She turned and walked away.