Page 14 of Festive with a Grumpy Fae

He’s ruined me.

I turn my head to stare out the window and swallow hard.“I’ll be okay,” I say instead.“I’m just… having a bad day.”

“Because of Godfrey?”He lets go of me and turns to head for the door.“I knew I was too nice to him.”

I gape after him.Is he…

“Where are you going?”

He doesn’t look back as he reaches for the door handle.“To find Godfrey and teach him to respect you.”

Oh.My.Fucking.God.

“Because ofyou, you stupid fae!”I shriek, no longer able to push down the tempest of emotions.“This has nothing to do with Godfrey, except that because of you he told me I’m his family and he’s going to give me his shop!It’s your fault!You came into my life that I thought was miserable and showed me all the reasons I actually love it and then you made it better!How fuckingdare—” My voice cracks, and then I’m crying.Damn it.

Through my ugly sobs and the film of tears, I see Cillian staring at me, his face stricken.Then he’s beside me.

“I’m sorry,” he says, hovering without touching me, even though I really want a hug right now.“I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

My laugh comes unbidden, choked with tears and bitterness.“What did you mean, then?”I swipe my hand across my face and sniffle.

A big, ridiculously gentle hand cups my chin and tilts my head up so I have to look at him.“I want you to be happy.I want you to see how much the people in your life love you, that you’re not alone—not unless you choose to be.”

I open my mouth to argue, but it dies in my throat.He’s right.Aunt Maggie might not be here this Christmas, but before she booked her cruise, she invited me to go with her—and when I said no, she asked what my plans would be.Godfrey might be going on his buying trip, but if I’d invited him to spend Christmas with me, he would have delayed leaving.If I’d told anyone else in town that I didn’t have plans for Christmas, I would have had a dozen invitations before I even finished the sentence.But I’ve been so caught up in the idea that not having a boyfriend means I’m lonely, it became a self-fulfilled prophecy.Sure, friends and neighbours aren’t the same thing as a romantic life partner, but they’resomething.They’re people I can spend time with, instead of wallowing on my own.

I’ve made myself lonely.

Sucking in a deep breath, I step back from Cillian.“You’re right.I know that.And yeah, I’ve got people who care about me and a pretty good life here.You’ve helped me to understand that.”

His gaze searches my face.“Your words don’t match what you’re feeling.”

I shrug and decide I’ve got no pride left.This conversation isn’t going to end until he knows why I’m upset, and I just want it to be over.“Can I have my book back?”

That’s not what I planned to say, and judging by the way he blinks, it’s not what he expected.

“I’m not finished with it.”

I snort.“Oh, please.You’re not really reading it.”

“No,” he agrees, surprising me, but he doesn’t explain further, and I flounder for something to say.

“I don’t know how you were supposed to get to know me by reading it, anyway.It’s a fucking fantasy novel, and I’m nothing like any of the characters.”

“I wouldn’t know, since I haven’t been reading it.That’s…” He sighs.“I should have explained this when you told me you didn’t understand the summoning spell.”

I fold my arms across my chest.“Oh?”

“I don’t need to read the book,” he says.“The reason the spell needs an object you value is because people imbue a lot of their own energy into the things they love.The book… it radiates all the emotions you felt whenyouread it, and that energy tells me everything I need to know about you.”

My mouth is hanging open.He’s been…

Wow.

“Oh.”

He moves back toward me, closing the distance between us until he’s almost within arm’s reach.

Almost.But not.