Page 23

EIGHT

Seleme

Work and running have always been my respite. The only things in my life I could control. The only things that seem to bring harmony between the two aspects of my reality.

But the last four days, even running for hours on my treadmill until I can barely stand hasn’t helped to clear my mind as it usually does.

I’ve barely been able to concentrate but I’ve still come to the office with Papa everyday thankful for the minimal distraction this environment offers me.

My case before the state supreme court has been postponed, as often happens with these things. Normally, I’d be fuming, but right now I’m counting my lucky stars because my head is not in the game. And if my father had his way, he’d keep me locked up in the house until tonight is over, but I refused.

“Seleme, honey.” My mother’s soft voice cuts through the noise in my head. “You have to decide. No one can force you. If this isn’t what you want, we’ll accept the consequences. We made that deal, not you, and you can walk away from it if you want to.”

“I know,” I reply, glancing to where my father stands looking out the window in my office, arms crossed, deliberately ignoring me. “Thank you, Mama.”

My father hasn’t been able to look at me the same way since that night, which is just as well because I can't look at him, either. There are things a father and daughter shouldn’t share, and the sight of me straddling Maxim, ready to give him what has been promised elsewhere, is one of those things.

My father spins and looks at my mother. “You say ‘consequences’ like they’re going to take us to small claims court or something. The Messinas aren’t going to just accept an apology and a bit of compensation. Promises were made. Breaking them will put us all in danger, Seleme included.”

“We’re always in danger, darling,” my mother retorts. “Would you rather see your daughter unhappy?”

“Unhappy but alive, yes,” he huffs. “Maxim is a felon, Seleme, a traitor to his country. I showed you the report. He led his whole team into a trap, and it was only blind luck they made it out alive.” My father’s face is tight, his jaw hard. “This is not a man we can trust. Not someone we can have in our lives. And even if we could, there’s the fact that he’s mortal. He would never understand our world. Never be able to give you what you need. We don’t even know what is going to happen at midnight tonight. We don’t know what you will become. The Messinas are better equipped to deal with whatever might happen. I should never have invited that man into our home. I knew that you were a half-vampire, that your hormones made you vulnerable, I just had no idea how much difficulty you were having controlling those feelings. I made a snap judgment, thinking he could protect you in a weak moment. Trusted the word of the man that had worked for our firm. I’m sorry, my sweet. I made a mistake. I’m sorry it ended with you getting hurt.”

For the past four days, he’s insisted I’m protected everywhere I go. Even right now there are Messina goons in the windowless office next door. When they investigated the accident at the Israndia Estate, it was clear someone had set it up.

There was one of those electric waterfall things under the skirt of the table just behind me, switched on apparently as soon as the lights went down and nobody would see what was going on. The rope to the chandelier hadn’t just broken, there were knife marks going right through it.

It was supposed to kill me. One of the entertainers hired for the event had been replaced by a vampire from the Hasanov coven at the last minute, and he had been tasked with taking me out before I could make the Messinas any more powerful than they already are.

Right now, the Messinas are hunting down the Hasanovs and taking them out, one by one, as is their ruthless and unforgiving manner and that gives me no pleasure at all. Perhaps they had the right idea and it would be better if I was dead, unable to give the Messinas what they want.

I’m really not sure anymore.

I meet my father’s eyes, and see the same anguish reflected in them as I know he sees in mine. Different reasons, same result. “Anna will—”

“Anna.” He laughs. “That’s not even her real name. Aperanat will look after herself, the way she’s always done. You don’t reach that age by getting involved with other people’s fights.”

I fall silent. The argument hasn’t changed in the last four nights, and I doubt it’s about to change now. My father already presented me with the “evidence” of Maxim’s crimes. Naturally, I was shocked to begin with. But I wasn't going to take it at face value. I had to research it further.

Even the jury in his trial wasn’t willing to convict on the crimes he was charged with. He was sent to prison, sure, but not for treason, or he’d still be there now. The only crime he was actually convicted of was assault on his commanding officer.

Then there’s what happened in the prison. A few of the other prisoners trapped Maxim’s cell mate in the showers and tried to give him a beatdown. Apparently, they didn’t like that he was more interested in men than women.

Maxim stepped in and stood between them. He took a beating, but he didn’t let them touch his cell mate.

“If this was just about you living your own life, things would be different. You know that. But this is life or death, Seleme. It’s my job to keep you safe, even if you can't see it. This arrangement keeps us all safe.”

“But if she loves him—” my mother tries, but we all know it’s pointless.

“How can she love him?” my father barks, looking at me for a split second then back to my mother. “She knew the man less than three hours. No.” He turns and stomps to the door. “It’s hormones, that’s all. The car will be here in thirty minutes. The plans are in place. I’m sorry, Seleme. It’s for your own good. You’ll thank me one day, even if you hate me right now. Marriages have been arranged like this for millennia, even your precious Anna will tell you that.”

“That didn’t stop you from marrying Mama. From falling in love.”

“And you are not in love.”

I look at my father for a long moment and see pain in his eyes. His skin is nearly gray, and his voice shakes as he extends his fingers then grips his hands into fists and releases them over and over as though they ache.

My parents both need to feed. They are weak. Weaker than usual. They haven’t fed in days, preferring to stay near me and keep me safe. In my world, vampires that choose animals over humans are never as strong. They have to feed twice as often just to keep themselves healthy. But my mother has never faltered in her refusal to hurt humans, and my father has kept his promise to her.

Feeding on animals keeps them alive, but they are no match for more traditional vampires like the Messinas — or even the Hasanovs. There’s nothing more to say. No new revelations will fix this.

With that, he’s out the door of my office, my stomach in knots and my mother’s soft eyes on me telling me there’s no easy solution.

“What do you want?” She asks again, and I spin my chair, crossing and uncrossing my legs as I stare down at my black patent Louboutins before scanning the horizon over the tops of the other office buildings for answers.

“Honestly? I want everything to go back to the way it was before. I want everyone to be safe. I want—” I halt, drawing in a breath.

What I want to say is, I want to forget I ever met Maxim. I want the feelings he lit inside of me to go away.

But I can’t.

And they won’t.

Even now that my hormones are fading and my cooler vampire side is starting to take over, all I want is him.

I’ve watched him in his office since my father chased him out of our home. He’s stood there, paced there, his eyes on our mansion as I watched him from the darkness of the upper rooms, the twisting in my core growing stronger, knowing the best thing for everyone is for me to forget all about him.

My vision is growing even more acute with each passing day allowing me to even detect the deepening furrows in his brow.

The errant tear I say him wiping away just this morning. How he runs his hand back and forth over his head then looks at the ceiling for minutes at a time before sitting at his desk, hands clasped behind his neck…

I lean forward in my chair, my arms wrapping around my belly, knowing the time is nearing for me to become what my destiny has held for me all these years. My human side is wavering, and the other part of me is growing stronger, my need to finally taste human blood surging through me like wildfire.

Everything feels different. Wrong.

And my best friend is nowhere to be seen.

“I wish I had some magic.” My mother stands, running her hands down the front of her pink and brown plaid Chanel suit. “In life, sometimes there is no magic.”

She sounds defeated. Even she understands the price I must pay to keep us safe.

Alive.

The irony brings a low chuckle vibrating in my chest.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, unconvinced it really is. “Sometimes, life chooses for us.”

The last part hits me in the chest, taking away the sardonic humor, because the truth of those words is undeniable.

Five days ago, everything seemed certain. It wasn’t what I wanted, exactly, but it was clear what I had to do. It was as it had been planned my entire life. I’d grown to accept my fate, if not numb to it, as well. Love was never in the cards. I’d never even come close to feeling that emotion outside of the familial love I have for my parents, or the love of friendship for Anna, and because of that, I was determined to do what was necessary to protect my family.

To secure our future.

What does it say about me that I'm ready to take it all back now?

“Get your things together.” My mother walks to my office door. “I’ll see you at the car. There’s only a few more hours until…” Her voice trails off, and I look at the clock on my wall. It’s nine p.m. In three hours, I will be married and will have given part of myself away — the one part I didn’t know I was saving for anyone — to the wrong man.

No, that’s not quite right.

He’s not a man.

Maxim is a man.

Alberto Messina is a thing. And soon I will be, too.

“No,” I say to my mother, and she turns as she reaches the doorway. I’ve never been defiant, never had the urge before. I never experienced those teenage rebellious years like so many humans. “I mean, yes, I’ll do it. Yes, of course. But I need time. To myself. An hour, is that too much to ask?”

I stand behind my desk, looking at the woman who has always loved me and raised me to be exactly who I am right now.

She shakes her head. “No. It’s not too much to ask.”

“Then you handle Papa. I’ll call the Messina driver to take me home. When I’m ready. I want one last hour to myself. To enjoy a glass of wine, perhaps two. Have a meal. Remember what it’s like to be human. He owes me that much.”

“He does. We do. Be home well before midnight, Seleme. If that is your choice, I’ll do everything I can to support you. I love you.”

“I will be there, Mama. I love you, too.”

As soon as she’s closed the door behind her, I pull up the regular office car service on my phone, ignoring the number for the Messinas. When they answer, I tell them where to meet me and where I will be going, planning how to slip past the guards in the next room as I feel the last of my humanity slipping away.