Page 33 of Fate’s Sweetest Curse (Mirrors of Fate #2)

Changing Course

Hattie

I know we’re all rattled by the events of two nights ago,” Phina lectured the following afternoon, “but I want us to remain focused. After all, we don’t know for certain why she was targeted.”

Phina spoke from atop the shallow steps leading from the entrance of her lab into the gardens; the entire research team—eight of us, without Viren—stood in a half-moon around her, everyone in various states of nervousness.

“I’ve been assured by the Order of the Mighty that they are investigating the incident,” she continued. “Your Oaths will allow you to speak freely with them, should they ask to question you. They’re also providing more guards to the Ocs. I’m sure you saw them when you came in today.”

I did. Six golden-armored Mighty Knights stationed at the door, with more pacing the atrium floor just past the entryway; I heard Willa acknowledge countless others as she led me to the lab, my blindfold fitted tightly over my eyes.

Even Willa had not been her normal, chatty self; when I’d tried to make conversation, her answers had been brief, distracted.

“I’ve been ordered not to bring on any additional apprentices until the motive of Viren’s attacker has been uncovered, so we’ll all have to stretch outside our comfort zones. Kent, that means you’ll be…”

A butterfly crossed my vision, its brown and teal wings fluttering haphazardly, distracting me from Phina’s words as she reassigned roles across the team.

I hadn’t slept in two nights—not since before Viren was harmed.

Her warning in the infirmary hadn’t helped the seeds of paranoia that Sani had already sown; watered by my own experiences nearly ten years ago, they’d taken root, unfurling in the night.

Whenever I dipped into sleep, horrible dreams abounded, filled with assassins lurking in long dark hallways, hallways that only became longer the faster I ran.

I had spent the past couple nights tossing and turning, only to give up on sleep entirely and study by candlelight instead.

For the first time since my studies began, I was ahead on my schoolwork—but I couldn’t avoid sleep forever.

I was half asleep now, swaying on my feet in the gauzy warmth of the greenhouse lab.

The rain persisted outside the windows, tapping on the glass, but in here, the garden was lush and peaceful.

Noble was standing at the opposite end of the half-circle, slightly apart from the rest of the research team.

He wore a green shirt today, the color of his eyes.

He was looking at Phina, nodding along, but his hips and shoulders were angled in my direction, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was aware that even though he was listening to someone else, his body was pointed right at me.

I care more than you know, more than what’s allowed, more than I should.

Fates , how long had I waited for him to say such things to me?

Alone with him in that tunnel, I had been vibrating, speechless, dizzy.

He hadn’t given me a chance to respond before storming off—which was probably for the best. There had been a very real chance of me throwing myself at him—rules be damned—but this was clearly not the time for impulsive behavior.

Unfortunately, it was never the time for impulsive behavior.

Still, his admission had caused me to see our history in a new light .

When we were teenagers, I’d thought it was Noble’s feelings that kept us apart, but what if it had only been propriety?

He had grown up around royals, lived on our castle grounds, endeavored to one day serve my family as his father did—but he had not been one of us .

Noble’s father might’ve thought him undisciplined at times, but even as a boy, Noble had possessed a strong sense of self-awareness; he’d been a rule-breaker, but never reckless.

And while I could afford to be careless with my heart, Noble didn’t have that luxury.

I could see now how he had led me to assume that the thing keeping him from getting closer to me was his own preference—but even when I’d professed my love for him at seventeen, he hadn’t told me he didn’t love me back.

He’d said that I shouldn’t love him. I couldn’t .

Feeling rejected, it had never occurred to me that he might not have been allowed to reciprocate.

That the burden of keeping us apart had fallen to him by default, because of his station.

I’m happy to take the blame for you, if it makes you feel better—but just because we’re better off apart doesn’t mean I relish the idea.

How had I been so clueless?

But that had been my role to play, hadn’t it? An oblivious, high-born girl.

Well, I was certainly no longer that girl.

Where did that leave us now, though? We didn’t have guardians or court decorum keeping us apart any longer, but we did have my secret.

We’d both acted like it was this huge mountain between us, blocking our view of each other, but what were the actual chances of someone uncovering who I was if I stopped avoiding Noble?

It’s not like associating with him immediately gave anything away; in fact, as far as Phina was concerned, we knew each other from Waldron , not Marona.

So why was I still resisting him? Why was he resisting me ?

There had to be more to it than muscle memory from childhood—or perhaps nothing to it at all.

Maybe my sleepless mind and intense feelings were clouding my recollection of our conversation.

He hadn’t told me he wanted me romantically; he’d said he cared.

There was a chasm of difference between those two words.

You’re wrong , he’d said. About how I felt back then. About how I feel now.

What did he feel, exactly?

I glanced in Noble’s direction again, breath catching when I found him already looking at me.

Ever since our conversation, my stomach had felt like it was attached to Noble by a tether.

Even now, I felt a firm tug in his direction, like I was an anchor and he was a ship reeling me in.

My spine straightened, and his gaze flicked over my throat and collarbones.

When he met my eyes again, he raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“Hattie?”

I flinched, realizing Phina had been speaking to me.

“Are you listening?” my professor asked, resting her tattooed hands on her hips.

I rubbed my tired eyes. “I’m sorry, Professor Farkept,” I said, “I haven’t been sleeping. Do you mind repeating?”

“You are to review Viren’s research,” Phina enunciated, “see where she left off.”

“I…what?”

“Did you not hear me that time, either?”

“No, I heard you, I just…” It was as Viren predicted: Phina, bringing me deeper into the fold. My thoughts fluttered as chaotically as a swarm of butterflies. I felt like I had no choice but to nod. “I’ll do my best.”

“Good.” Phina clapped her hands once. “Let’s get to work.”

The group began to break up, apprentices whispering to one another as they went to their respective stations throughout the lab.

I stood still, watching everyone scatter.

Noble was still looking at me; he hesitated for a moment, as if he was considering coming over—then he frowned and headed in the direction of his workshop. Back to ignoring me, apparently.

As he walked away, I felt that tug in my stomach again. But I was not in a place to face him or this strange connection between us. I needed to focus on my studies.

I walked over to Phina, who was just finishing a conversation with another apprentice. When she turned to me, I smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry again, Phina, I’m not feeling like myself.”

“You went through something traumatic, Hattie, it’s alright,” she replied kindly. “Just try to get some rest, alright? I need you sharp.”

I nodded. “What’s my first assignment? Aside from reviewing Viren’s notes?”

“I’d like for you to make some Black Lace tinctures. Ten of them. We’ll start running experiments on them the day after next.”

“I will.”

“Actually, make twelve and set two aside.” She gave me a knowing look, and even in my insomnia-addled brain, it was obvious she intended to give two to her friend from the alley. “You should also read up on Gildium. Discuss its properties with Noble if you haven’t already.”

Monster blood contains Gildium , Viren had said.

The thought of working with a metal that was present in cursed beings made my pulse quicken. The thought of working with Noble also made my pulse quicken, but for entirely different reasons. The frantic beating of my heart made me jittery, uncoordinated—or maybe that was just the lack of sleep.

“I’ll get reading,” I promised Phina, turning away with a yawn.

With my eyelids already this heavy, I couldn’t imagine spending all afternoon in the library.

I really needed to get past my nightmares.

A sleep tincture, perhaps? Valerian was easy to come by, but it sometimes made my dreams more vivid—which might do more harm than good.

I had the sense that as long as I felt unsafe in my own dorm, the sleep problems wouldn’t change.

Which meant that I needed to feel safe again.

“Phina,” I called out, turning back around.

My professor—who’d been walking off in the direction of Noble’s workshop—paused. “Yes, Hattie?”

“Your brother is a Mighty Knight, right?” I asked. “Could you put me in touch with him?”