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I clenched my jaw and didn’t answer. He paused, and then brought one hand up to gently brush my cheek. I felt the tingle all
the way down my spine, making my breath catch and my stomach squirm like crazy.
“Tell me,” Raithe murmured, his voice softer than petals. “Was it the ma’jhet? If they are using magic again, I need to know
to keep you safe.”
My heart pounded. For a moment, I considered leaning into him once more, wanting to feel his arms around me, a shelter from
the rest of the world. I wanted to tell him everything, about myself, and Vahn, and the Deathless King’s invitation. I was
tired of running and being scared. I longed to curl into Raithe, close my eyes, and let myself believe, if just for a moment,
that I was safe.
I jerked up, shocked and terrified with myself.
What was happening? I couldn’t keep doing this.
I trusted Raithe to protect us and get us to the iylvahn city, but as I had discovered with Jeran and Vahn, the more you actually cared for someone, the more devastating it was when they betrayed you.
Raithe was a talented assassin, loyal to his queen, and I was—according to everyone—Fateless.
Wanted by the Circle and the Deathless King.
What if the iylvahn queen ordered him to kill me?
Or, worse, used me as a bargaining chip to protect her own people?
I turned from Raithe, then stood and stepped away to put distance between us. He stayed on the cot, watching me, though I
probably imagined the ripple of hurt and confusion that crossed his face. Folding my arms, I gazed out the narrow slit of
a window at the navy blue of the sky over Damassi. Hearing the crackle of flames and the voice of the Guildmaster echoing
in my head.
“I saw Vahn,” I muttered. “Just now, in my... in my dream.”
His expression sharpened. “The Guildmaster?”
I nodded once. Finally meeting his gaze, I narrowed my eyes. “When were you going to tell me the Fateless doesn’t have a soul?”
He didn’t ask how I knew. He was intelligent enough to put two and two together. Sighing, he closed his eyes, then looked
up at me again. “I don’t believe that piece of lore,” he said. “I have seen soulless creatures. Demons. The summoned dead.
You are not like that. You care for the people around you. You have compassion. It’s buried, and a little hard to find...”
The faintest of smiles crossed his face before vanishing in the next breath. “But I’ve seen it. You are not soulless.”
My eyes stung. I turned my head away and took a quick breath so he wouldn’t see. “You still should’ve told me, Raithe.”
“Why?” He seemed genuinely puzzled, tilting his head at me.
“Would it have made any difference on our journey?” he asked in a quiet voice.
“What purpose would it have served? That kind of question can eat at you, keep you up at night, drive you mad, if you let it. I thought it better to save you that uncertainty. At least until we reached Irrikah.”
“What about the rest?” I asked. “The parts about having no thread in the Weave, no part in the story of the world? Vahn said
I could unravel destinies with just a touch, that anyone I encounter is at risk of having their fate vanish completely.”
“That is all true.” Raithe stood, rising elegantly to his feet. “And quite terrifying to some. Especially those who can see
a bit of the future.”
“Like the Deathless Kings?”
He nodded. “And the ma’jhet. And the seers. And the prophets of Fate who wander the empire. There are very few legends of
the Fateless, but one tells the story of a great and respected fortune teller who tried to glimpse the destiny of one who
was Fateless. He went mad, babbling about a great unraveling in the Weave, and threw himself into the Dust Sea soon after.”
“Oh good,” I said, hiding behind sarcasm once again. “So I drive people mad and cause them to kill themselves. I’ve always
wanted to do that.”
Raithe stepped closer. I held my breath, torn between wanting him to come close and taking a step back.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” he murmured.
“I didn’t want to put that burden on you.
Once we reach Irrikah, the queen will be able to explain everything.
But I think it’s crucial now that we pay a visit to the Scarab Clan and see what we can do to shield you from the Circle’s magic. ”
I nodded. That sounded like a good idea to me. I really could do without Vahn popping into my dreams and tormenting me whenever
he felt like it. Briefly, I wondered if I should tell Raithe that the Deathless King wanted me to return to Kovass, but that
might make my companions even more paranoid. Besides... I had to think about it. I had no intention of returning to the
city now, but there might come a time when going home might be preferable to letting everyone be killed. Even if it was to
face Vahn, the ma’jhet, and the Deathless King himself.
“Yeah.” I sighed, leaning against the wall. “Agreed. I’ll just have to find a way not to sleep until we get there.”
Raithe frowned. I could tell he didn’t like that idea, but he didn’t protest, either. “It’s still a couple hours till sunrise,”
he said, glancing at the tiny slitted window in the wall. “I take it you’re not going back to sleep?”
“No.” I shook my head. Even if Vahn wasn’t waiting for me to go back to sleep, the dreams were. “No more sleeping for me tonight,”
I went on. “One heart-stopping nightmare an evening is enough, I think.”
Raithe nodded. “Walk with me, then,” he said, turning to the door. “It’s a beautiful night, and the moon is full. Maybe it’ll
clear your head.”
Clearing my head sounded nice. Right now, it felt like a tangled mess of uncertainty, fear, anxiety, and dread.
I stepped out the door with Raithe, and together we walked down the silent temple hallway until we came to the main chamber.
The large front doors still lay open, and silver-blue moonlight filtered through the opening.
As we walked down the temple steps into the courtyard, a cold breeze hit my skin. I shivered, pulling my hood up farther and
crossing my arms to conserve heat. During the day the air was suffocatingly hot, but at night, when the suns fully disappeared,
the temperatures plummeted as well. I gazed upward and saw a blanket of glimmering diamonds spread overhead, a sight rarely
seen in Kovass, where the haze and the glow of millions of lanterns stifled the view of the sky. Reaching the courtyard wall,
I leaned my elbows against the cold stones and gazed down at the lights of Damassi scattered below us. From way up here, the
city seemed peaceful; no screaming, no snapping fires, no roaring inferno consuming everything in sight.
I felt Raithe beside me, also gazing at the lights and lanterns spread below. I realized that, just like Halek, he had probably
been all across the world, seen cities and kingdoms that, with my sheltered Kovass upbringing, I’d never even imagined.
“What it’s like?” I murmured, and felt him glance at me. “Irrikah, I mean. People know the iylvahn city is out there, and
yet no one has ever seen it. No outsiders anyway.”
“People have seen it,” Raithe said, equally softly. “They just... forget about it, when they leave. It’s part of the magic
the queen employs to keep our people safe. Any non-iylvahn who leaves Irrikah will soon lose all their memories of the city—where
it is, what it looks like, how it is laid out, everything.”
“What is it like there?” I asked. “If you can tell me, that is.”
“I can,” Raithe said, turning to watch me intently. “But... you’ll forget what we talked about by tomorrow. You’ll remember we had a conversation, you might even remember what it was about, but the details of Irrikah will fade from your memory and be lost.
Some people can find that infuriating. I wanted to warn you first.”
“Oh,” I said. I’d never heard of that. “I’d still like to know,” I went on, gazing up at him. “Even if I won’t remember. What
is it really like, from someone who has actually lived there?”
Raithe paused. Turning, he mimicked my pose, resting his arms on the stone wall and gazing down into the city. “Green,” he
said after a moment. His voice was soft, almost wistful. “Once you get through the Maze and past the gates, it’s like you’re
stepping into another world. There are trees, and grass, and flowers; more color and life than you could ever imagine. Though
it’s taken hundreds of years of dedicated work to bring the land back from nothing.”
A green city, full of life and flowers. Raithe was right—I couldn’t even imagine such a thing. “You must miss it.”
“I do,” Raithe murmured, his gaze dark and far away. “Very much so. Every time I leave the city, I’m reminded of what the
world is like for those outside. There are some iylvahn who have never seen the kingdoms beyond the Maze. They’ve never been
outside the city walls, and have no desire to venture forth. I can understand that. Why would you leave a paradise to go into
hell?”
“It’s not that bad out here, is it?” I joked, making a corner of his lip twitch.
“A sun-scorched wasteland with demon abominations that chase you down to devour you?” His voice was wry. “I can’t imagine why I would think that.”
I poked his elbow. “Hey, I’m the sarcastic one here. Don’t let me rub off on you.”
Raithe smiled, though his expression was serious in the next instant. Turning, he moved a step closer, pale eyes suddenly
intense. My heartbeat quickened as he gently raised one hand toward my hood to brush it back.
I stiffened.
He stopped immediately, and a faint, puzzled furrow creased his brow as he gazed down at me. “Why are you afraid?” he asked.
I ducked my head, cheeks burning. “Because,” I whispered, turning away. “If people don’t see me, then I don’t exist. I can
be invisible, or a shadow on the wall. In my world, staying alive depends on my ability to blend in and be unnoticed. If people
see me...”
I faltered, unable to voice my true thoughts. If people really saw me, they would realize what I was: A street rat. A thief.
A girl who wasn’t special, or pretty, or remarkable in any way. It was easier to be invisible and go unnoticed than for someone
like Raithe to look at me and see there was nothing worth looking at.
“But I do see you,” Raithe murmured. Stepping close, his fingers gently took my arm and turned me to face him once more.
“I see a girl who I thought was just a thief, but who turned out to be so much more. I see someone who has survived a great tragedy, who looked a god of destruction in the face and lived. I’ve seen her cunning, and bravery, and intelligence.
And even in our short time together, I’ve watched her change from someone whose only thought was of her own survival to a person willing to put herself in danger for others. ”
“Once,” I protested. “I did that once.”
“Would you do it again?”
“I...” I hesitated, really thinking about it. If another abomination attacked, if I looked down and saw a monstrous, eight-legged
fiend crawling up the side of the mountain toward us, would I turn and flee? Vanish into the city and find shelter in the
hundreds of cracks and hidey-holes where I’d be safe from the monster? Or would I fight, knowing Halek and Raithe—and Kysa,
if she were here—would certainly stay behind and battle the creature to the death?
“I... yes,” I whispered, dazed with the realization. I would stay and fight. Even if it meant my death, even if the very thought terrified me to the core, I couldn’t run away and leave
the others to die. “For you and Halek and Kysa, I would.”
Raithe ran his hands up my arms, sending a shiver through my whole body. “That day on the strider, you saved my life,” he
murmured. “When you came back, that decision changed the fates of at least three people, maybe dozens more. There is no doubt
in my mind.” Once more, his hand rose to my hood, and this time, I let it fall back. The chill night wind ruffled my hair,
lifting it from my shoulders, as I stared into the pale, beautiful eyes of the iylvahn gazing down at me.
“You are Sparrow,” he whispered, bending close. The hand that had brushed my hood cupped the side of my face, warming my skin.
“You are the Fateless.”
And he kissed me.
His lips were soft and cool, and I closed my eyes, a thousand sensations sweeping through my center.
Warmth bloomed in my stomach, spreading through me until I could no longer feel the chill, only the flickering heat between us, the gentle press of his mouth on mine.
My hands crept up his shoulders and cupped the back of his head to pull him closer, and his arms wrapped around my waist in return.
Disbelief and shock battled elation. Raithe, the deadly, long-lived iylvahn assassin, was kissing me; it felt more like a dream than anything real.
Because he thinks you’re the Fateless .
That seed of doubt wriggled in, took hold, and began to spread. What if I wasn’t Fateless? Would Raithe’s interest in me dissolve?
Would he be angry and disappointed if I wasn’t what he hoped? What he had sworn to protect all this time? If, when we reached
the iylvahn city, the queen took one look at me and declared that I wasn’t Fateless, what would Raithe do?
Everyone you have trusted before has betrayed you.
The doubt spread, turning into fear. I’d thought I might have something with Jeran, only to lose him to jealousy and anger.
I’d loved Vahn as a father, and right now, he was my greatest enemy. If I let myself fall for Raithe—which would be easy,
I realized; I already depended on the iylvahn far more than I should—if I fell in love with him now, how devastating would
it be if he turned his back on me? When he realized I was not Fateless, but just a human. A thief. A nobody.
I slid my hands down his chest and pushed, drawing back slightly. He didn’t try to hold on, only let his arms drop as I pulled
away, though I could feel his gaze as I stepped back.
“Sparrow...” His voice was soft, questioning.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I can’t, Raithe. I just... I’m sorry.”
Turning, I fled the courtyard, sprang up the stairs, and ducked back into the temple. I didn’t look back until I reached my
room, but I could feel his gaze on me the entire way.
Table of Contents
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- Page 44 (Reading here)
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