Page 36 of Fated (The Bonded Legacy #1)

“I’ve never been out of control like that.

I wasn’t thinking.” The confession fell from Kai’s lips barely above a whisper, breaking through Lena’s ruminations.

“I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth.

I was overwhelmed—by the summit, the bond, my dad threatening to banish me.

I felt like I was drowning, and then Ava was there, crying, broken.

..” His voice cracked. “She’s been my everything for so long.

We were months from our mating ceremony, starting the life we’d planned for years.

Seeing her shattered because of me...” He drew a shaky breath.

“When she kissed me, I didn’t stop it. I should have, but everything just poured out—frustration, desire, guilt, need. I lost myself completely.”

The silence stretched. Tears shimmered in her eyes though she fought to hold them back.

“And let me guess,” she said, voice unnaturally steady. “You hate what happened? But what would you have done if I hadn’t stopped you?” Her tone cracked with fury. “Would you have fucked her? Given her what was meant to be mine?”

Kai flinched hard. “You’re right,” he choked out.

“It’s not hers to have. If you hadn’t stopped us.

.. I don’t know if I would have stopped myself.

And I hate that more than anything. I’d always planned…

I mean, I thought my first time would be special.

Sacred. On my mating night with—” He stopped speaking, swallowing hard before continuing.

“I never wanted it to be like that. Desperate and panicked against a car. That’s not…

that’s not how it should be, and I don’t think I could have lived with myself. ”

Lena’s chest heaved as she fought to control her breathing. She turned to stare out the window, unwilling to let him see how deeply his words cut.

“What do you want, Kai?” She stared straight ahead, each word measured and precise. “What are you doing here with me if she means that much to you?”

She counted her own heartbeats while he wrestled with an answer. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw. “Honestly...I don’t know. My feelings are so tangled.”

Lena felt the bond pulse between them, making her breath hitch as Elara paced restlessly beneath her skin.

“The bond pulls me toward you with this... gravity that feels impossible to fight. It stirs a want and need for you that I can’t even begin to comprehend. My wolf aches for yours, like there’s this magnetic force trying to drag us together.”

Each word of raw confession vibrated through the invisible cord connecting them, setting off ripples of heat that traveled from her chest outward.

The current raced through arteries and veins until her fingertips pulsed with tiny heartbeats of their own, each one urging her hand toward his.

Her knuckles whitened as she dug her fingers deeper into her knees, anchoring her hands in place.

His scent filled the car—orange and nutmeg tinged with confusion and need—making Elara whine in response.

“But then I think about Ava and see everything we built. Everything we dreamed of and…” He paused, almost stealing himself for the rest, while Lena fought to control her breathing, to ignore the way the bond constricted with each mention of Ava’s name.

“I think I want both of you, but I don’t know if it’s real.

If it’s just the bond pulling me to you.

If it’s the fear of losing Ava and knowing she would share me that pulls me in the other direction.

I hate that I can’t give you a real answer, Lena. I’m just so…lost.”

His admission hit her chest like a hammer to glass, hairline fractures spreading outward with each breath, sending shards into her lungs with every inhale. She straightened, vertebrae aligning one by one as she turned toward him.

“I will not share you.”

Each syllable hung suspended between them, unmistakable in their meaning as the bond squeezed around her ribs like a steel band, compressing her lungs until each breath became shallow and insufficient.

She pressed on, voice softening though her resolve never wavered.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the bond strongly.

That I don’t want you—” Heat crawled up her spine as her wolf stretched toward his.

“Goddess, Kai, I do. But after last night?” Her voice caught.

“I know I couldn’t bear it. As your fated, I would feel it—” Nausea rolled through her as phantom sensations flooded her mind.

“Feel it when you were with her. When you touched her. When you—” The bond contorted, making her gasp as images of him pressed against Ava splintered her vision.

“We cannot survive that, Lena.” Elara’s voice trembled, a mourning howl compressed into their shared body. “We are not made to share our mate.”

Tears spilled from her eyes as she continued. “Don’t ask that of me. It might seem simple to her, but she’ll never feel her soul being ripped apart because her fated gave himself to someone else.”

KAI

Her words carved into him like claws. Silent tears tracked down his face as he pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road, no longer trusting himself to drive through the blur of emotion. The engine idled, its quiet rumble the only sound besides their uneven breathing.

He turned to face her fully, needing her to understand.

“I feel like I’m being pulled apart,” he whispered.

“My heart one way, my soul another. The bond feels like a rope around my chest, tightening every time I resist. Sometimes I can’t breathe, and I can’t tell what’s real anymore—what’s me versus the bond versus Ava. It terrifies me, Lena.”

Orion scraped against Kai’s consciousness, each bristled hair a separate point of pressure beneath his skin.

“Tell her the rest.” The wolf’s demand manifested as a bass vibration that originated in Kai’s marrow and resonated outward through bone, muscle, and skin . “Tell mate why you fight us.”

Kai swallowed hard. “It’s not just about Ava.

It’s about the choice . About feeling like I have no control over my destiny.

Like the Moon Goddess, my dad, and even my wolf, are invalidating everything I feel.

Telling me that Ava isn’t enough. Telling me that what’s in my heart is wrong.

” The words came with a decisive exhale, releasing a burden he’d been carrying for too long.

“I understand that better than you might think,” Lena said quietly. “As the daughter of an alpha, my future was never really mine to decide. Everything hinged on who my mate would be—where he’d be from, what his pack needed.”

Something shifted in the air between them as she spoke, her normally confident voice gone soft and vulnerable. She turned to face him then, tears making her golden-brown eyes shine in the afternoon light. The sight made his chest ache.

“Before I met you, I was seriously considering a chosen bond with someone in Moonshadow. Just so I wouldn’t have to leave. So I could keep some small piece of control over my own life.”

The confession knocked the breath from his lungs. The alpha’s perfect daughter—fighting the same battle as him? Orion stirred beneath his skin, drawn to her honesty.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “You do get it.”

LENA

Their eyes met, something electric and fragile passing between them that made the air in the car feel charged, more vulnerable than if they’d been skin to skin. Longing coursed through Lena for everything they could have been, everything they still might be—if only he were ready to choose her.

Kai pulled back onto the road. The remaining miles stretching ahead like possibility. Lena turned back to the window, watching the forest thicken as they neared Moonshadow. After a long moment, his voice broke through again, softer now.

“I never considered you might have the same fears,” Kai admitted. “It’s easy to think of you as...untouchable. Like you’ve got everything figured out.”

A small, bitter laugh escaped her. “Trust me, I’m far from untouchable. You’ve seen me cry, scream, and—” Heat flooded her cheeks at the memories of how she’d behaved last night. “Let’s just say I’m a mess like anyone else.”

“You don’t seem like a mess to me.”

“Don’t let the lipstick fool you,” she murmured. “It’s just armor.”

Something in his expression softened. “I guess we’ve both been wearing armor.”

The silence that followed felt different—not comfortable, but less suffocating. Then his voice came again, barely above a whisper.

“You know,” he said, tone carrying a hint of something lighter, almost nostalgic, “it wasn’t my dad threatening banishment that made me show up this morning. I think I was done for the second you hit me with your pinky.”

Lena blinked, turning to him fully now. “What?”

He chuckled under his breath, the sound self-deprecating but tinged with warmth.

“That night outside the restaurant, when you wrapped your pinky around mine. That was it. The way you call me ‘my mate’... Ava always calls me ‘my future alpha,’ but it’s never felt like this.

” He paused, rubbing at his chest. “Hearing you say ‘mate’—it changed so much.”

His sincerity sent an unwelcome flutter through Lena’s chest. She gripped her knees tighter, fighting back the surge of emotion. After a long moment, she spoke.

“What I will agree to is time,” she said.

“Time to get to know each other. Not as fated mates or as the future Alpha and Luna of Bloodstone, just as us. As Kai and Lena.” She offered him a small, tentative smile.

“I’ll talk to my dad and maybe sweet- talk yours into letting us move slowly.

Hopefully, in time, you’ll figure out what you want—from her, from me—and we’ll go from there. ”

His shoulders dropped, the lines around his eyes easing as tension drained from his face. “Thank you. You have no idea the peace that gives me.”

Lena’s gaze fixed on him, her emotions a tempest she couldn’t tame. His gratitude felt genuine, but it didn’t quiet the unease in her chest. This wasn’t a resolution, but it was a start. And maybe, it would be enough.

“You’re welcome, Kai,” she said quietly.

Silence settled between them for the rest of the drive.

When his pinky brushed against hers—tentative, questioning—she didn’t pull away.

The simple contact sent electricity racing up her arm, the bond flaring bright and warm between them.

Elara pressed close to the surface, reaching for his wolf, and his scent transformed, notes of possibility rising through the layers of doubt.

Something unfurled in the center of Lena’s chest, radiating outward.

Her ribcage constricted with each heartbeat—half-pleasure, half-pain.

Her pulse drummed a familiar rhythm: want-fear-want-fear.

Turning back to the window, she sent a silent prayer, trying to ignore the way her skin still tingled where they touched.

Please, Selene. Guide us. Give me strength to fight for our bond if it’s meant to be, or to walk away if it’s not. Help me protect what remains of my heart.

Because I fear that Kai Bloodstone might be my undoing.