Page 30

Joan toed her red sneakers off at the door. The beeps from resetting the alarm were the only sounds inside her quiet apartment.

Sadie lightly stirred on the couch. It was dark other than the dimmed floor lamp.

It wasn’t even that late, but Joan was exhausted.

A full day of helping with Gus’s video (Gus hated being on camera), and leaking false stories about Amazing Woman being seen around town, and working with Ward to post on a few underground message boards the rumor that would lay the trap for tomorrow.

Then the Supers had to deal with Ether making another humid, wet, flight-delaying mess at the airport.

Being a Villain was way less stressful.

She walked slowly toward the gray couch.

Her heart lurched at Sadie snuggled in one corner under a fuzzy pink throw blanket.

A coloring book and pencils rested in her lap.

She’d had a long day emotionally. Their phone call that afternoon had been a tangle of tears and anger from Sadie about her meeting.

Her kind soul and big dreams had taken a hit, all because of Joan.

“Hey,” Sadie slurred, stretching her upper back. “How’d everything go today?”

The weight of what Gus said yesterday had been sitting on Joan’s chest, threatening to crush what little sanity she had left. Every time she looked at Sadie, panic flared at the thought of not being in her life. Or her leaving. Or worst of all, something happening to her.

Sadie blinked over sleepy brown eyes. Joan had missed an important moment with her today. Hadn’t been around to comfort her. Was Gus right? That no matter what Joan did, having superpowers would be the thing that drove them apart?

Tears welled up so forcefully, the only thing she could do was sink to the carpet and shield her face.

“Joanie?” Sadie sat up and tossed the blanket aside, pencils clinking. “Honey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Joan shook her head and hiccupped a sob.

“Babe. Come here.” Sadie slid her feet to the floor and folded Joan into her arms.

Joan clutched at her T-shirt, burying her face in Sadie’s chest. Her warm tears flowed and sizzled out like they always did because she was a fucking freak who couldn’t cry like a normal person.

Sadie gently rocked her. “Shh, honey,” she said, kissing the top of Joan’s head. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

“You’re safe. I’ve got you.” She rested her cheek against Joan’s temple. “I’ve always got you.”

That only made Joan cry harder.

Sadie rubbed her back, murmuring reassurances that racked Joan with more tears.

After a minute or so, Sadie said, “Can you tell me what happened? Is this because of that thing with the management company? I told her off good about that disgusting superpowers rider.”

“No,” Joan snuffled. “Gus said… But it’s not true. I don’t want it to be true.”

“What did Gus say?”

“I don’t know what I’d do if…” She drew back from the security of Sadie’s arms. It was too painful to say this while touching her.

Joan closed her eyes and admitted her single biggest fear to Sadie, to herself.

“I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.”

“Oh, Joanie.”

“I’m afraid what happened with Melvin will happen again. That’s why I’ve been so clingy. I feel so damn guilty you had to go through that. I want to protect you from anything bad, even though I know I can’t be there every second of every day. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to be.”

She risked opening her eyes to find Sadie’s brows drawn together, sympathy written all over her face. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said, touching Joan’s cheek.

“We made all these plans. I’m supposed to park Hot and Cold in front of Sadie’s Café. We have this perfect quiet life. But the truck’s gone. You can’t get your ideal location. You might not want to be with me if we don’t have all that.”

“Of course I want to be with you.”

Joan chugged in a shaky breath. “You lost out on your café because of your connection to me.”

“Honey, I wouldn’t have signed that lease even if I’d never met you. I don’t want to work with people who restrict who can come to what’s supposed to be a safe space.”

Okay, that was true, but… “I wanted to be there with you today, and I couldn’t because I’m, well, me . Still Spark. Always and forever Spark.”

“That’s okay,” Sadie said.

Joan dropped her face in Sadie’s lap. She didn’t want to lose her. Couldn’t lose her. She looked up and whispered, “What if I want to do something else?”

“Do you mean work with the Supers? Like all the time?”

Joan nodded.

“I think that’s wonderful.”

“But it changes everything.”

Sadie skimmed a soothing hand up and down her back. “You might recall I thought you were a Superhero when we first met. You were so kind, and looked out for everyone you cared about. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve always been a Superhero.”

“Even when you found out I was Spark and had been lying to you?” Joan huffed.

“Okay, maybe not right then. But I knew you were a hero deep down.” She gave Joan a beautiful, earnest smile. “I fell in love with you , Joan Malone. I want you to do what you truly want. And I think that’s something bigger than running a food truck.”

Wrapping her arms around Sadie’s hips, Joan said, “Even if it might pull us apart?”

“Why would it?”

“It’s something Gus said.”

Sadie snorted. “I can’t wait to hear this.”

“She said Supers can’t have relationships with norms because they never work out. I’d always be worried about your safety, which I already do. That it’s too hard.”

“Since when have you been afraid of a little hard work?” She rubbed Joan’s shoulder. “And also consider the source. And she also didn’t factor into the equation how absolutely head over heels I am for you. And also also I’m about to become a lean, mean fighting machine.”

Joan loosened her arms, resting her hands on Sadie’s thighs.

“I worry about your safety, too. You fought against Supervillains without your protective bodysuit on. That scared the hell out of me. But it’s not going to stop me from wanting to be with you.”

“What if it puts you in harm’s way again?” Joan said. “I can’t pretend that someone won’t try to use you to get to me.”

“I came into this relationship eyes wide open. I know there’s inherent risk. But like, just living is risky. I could get electrocuted using my hairdryer, or?—”

“God, don’t say that.”

“Or some other freak accident could do me in.”

“You know what I mean.”

With a shrug, Sadie said, “I’m not dwelling on the worry that something could happen. Isn’t not dwelling your thing?”

“It’s more Mark’s thing,” Joan said.

“Well, be chill like your bother.”

“I’m just…” She made a face. “I’m not comfortable in any kind of spotlight. And I don’t know if the Supers want help beyond this. We’ve been using one another as a means to an end.”

“They haven’t turned on that power suppression thing in a few days. And from what I can tell, it’s been a collaborative effort.” Sadie’s mouth tilted in a smirk. “Even Darlene doesn’t want to fight you every time you open your mouth.”

“Only half the time now,” Joan quasi-joked.

“You’re always telling me not to sell myself short. Well, don’t sell yourself short. I believe in you.”

Her heart pulsed with relief. “Thank you. That means everything.”

Sadie tugged on Joan’s upper arms. “Come up here. I can’t believe you think I can’t have my café because of you. You’re the reason I’m going after it in the first place.”

Joan started to get up, then realized, “Oh shit, you don’t have a job. If we don’t reopen Hot and Cold, you’re unemployed.”

“Well, then I should really get on finding another location for my café.”

“I’m serious. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“Of course I’m gonna worry.” Joan squeezed Sadie’s knees. “I unemployed you.”

“Smash unemployed me. And I can always pick up some shifts at Vector City Coffee.”

“No. I mean, of course you can if you want. But I’ll support you financially.”

Leaning down, Sadie said, “I’m a big girl. I can get a job. Besides, you pay for everything anyway. I have money saved.”

“That’s for the café.”

“And it’ll still be for the café. Now please get off the floor so I can snuggle you.”

Joan slumped beside her on the couch, drained but feeling better. “We’ll keep supporting one another’s dreams,” she said. “Always.”

“Always,” Sadie echoed, because she was the best.

“Jesus. I shouldn’t have taken advice, however well-intentioned, from someone who hangs out with Perry. But I think I get them now. They both have the false belief that they can’t have a normal or real relationship.”

“Maybe now that Perry is making amends, they could be more open.”

“I doubt it. They’re weird.”

Sadie giggled and scooted closer. She took Joan’s hands.

“You know what I just thought about? Your dream wasn’t the food truck.

It was to do something good. You told me that when you were a kid, you wanted to help people.

What better way to do that than being one of the good guys?

But on your terms. A real hero who doesn’t take a bunch of free stuff.

You’re the one who can really turn things around with the Supers. ”

Huh. She had a point. Several points, really.

“And, maybe somewhat selfishly, but I kind of like being a part of that world.” She glanced down with a small smile. “It’s pretty cool.”

“It’s extraordinary,” Joan murmured. The life Sadie always wanted.

“Yeah.” She lifted Joan’s hands and kissed the back of one. “So I can get a slice of extraordinary while we keep having a quiet private life, the way you want.” She kissed the other.

Joan looked into the eyes of the woman she loved on a deep level she didn’t know was humanly possible. “What did I do to deserve you, Sadie Eagan?”

“You were yourself, Joanie Maloney. The you you were always meant to be.”

They hugged tight, swaying slightly. No wonder she’d been a freak about losing Sadie. Only now Joan knew their love was worth more than whatever—or whoever—tried to get in its way.

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