Page 36 of Falling for Him (Honey Leaf Lodge #3)
Fifi
I didn’t mean to linger outside his door.
I’d told myself I was just heading down to check the front desk log. Maybe snag another muffin. Maybe toss one in the general direction of Millie’s front porch with a note that said Nice aim, sniper.
But my feet had other plans.
Ben’s room sat quietly at the end of the hallway, the door still ajar from when I’d stepped in to check on towels, and yes, kiss him breathless like a woman who forgot how doors worked.
I was still a little dazed by how he’d looked at me before I left. Like I’d caught him off guard. Like maybe he was starting to let himself feel something.
But now?
Now I heard his voice. Low. Tense.
He was on the phone.
“No. I told you I’d follow up after the fourth. I don’t have access to that here.”
A pause. A heavier sigh.
“I said I’m not home. Yes, I’m still on the trip. No, it wasn’t a last-minute emergency; it was a last-minute decision. ”
I hovered, guilty but frozen.
His voice was clipped, the edge I hadn’t heard in a couple of days slipping back in.
“Because I needed a break, that’s why. You can’t keep pushing me like this and expect me to respond on your timeline. I’m a partner.”
My chest squeezed.
“If you don’t give me the time I asked for, it’s over. Simple as that. I’m finished and through with this, and I won’t look back. I don’t care about our history.”
I didn’t know who was on the other end, but the mood had shifted, and whatever lightness had been floating around him felt like a pin had popped it.
I stepped away before I could hear more and headed toward the stairs.
By the time I passed the front desk, I’d smoothed my face back into something normal.
Ben came down ten minutes later, looking freshly showered, jaw tight, and shoulders tense. He offered me a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Hey,” I said lightly, pretending I hadn’t just overheard enough to knot my stomach. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah,” he said. Too fast. “All good.”
I nodded, forcing a little brightness into my voice. “Well, if you’re up for it, I was thinking we could do dinner tonight. I mean, no truck breakdowns, no surprise guests, no rogue beavers. Just food. And the company.”
Ben hesitated.
And that hesitation?
It sliced me right through the middle.
His eyes darted to the side, then back to me. “I can’t tonight.”
“Oh.” I blinked. “No worries.”
“Just… something came up,” he added, like that made it better. It didn’t.
My smile didn’t budge, but my chest felt like it had been hollowed out with an ice cream scoop.
“Totally fine,” I said. “Rain check.”
He nodded, then mumbled something about needing to go grab his laptop and turned to head back toward the stairs after he grabbed a muffin.
I stood there for a second after he disappeared, trying not to let it show.
Trying not to feel like a balloon slowly deflating in the corner of the room.
Of course, he had things going on.
Of course, I knew this was temporary.
But it still stung.
Because after the way he looked at me in that truck bed, and the way he kissed me like he meant it, I thought… maybe.
Maybe it was more.
And now?
Now I didn’t know what to think.
Was he married? Engaged?
I told myself to shake it off. He had a life in Florida. He had work stress. He had every right to set boundaries and keep things simple.
But no matter how hard I tried to talk myself out of it…
It still felt like I’d just been gently closed out of something I wanted to be let into.
And for the first time in days, I wasn’t so sure I’d made it past the front door of his heart at all.
I needed a distraction.
A big one.
Preferably in the form of loud clanging pans, a complicated breakfast recipe, or Sienna rattling off one of her unsolicited TED Talks about trail mix ratios for optimal hiking energy.
So when I turned the corner into the Honey Leaf Lodge kitchen expecting to see her wrestling the coffee machine, I was surprised to find Violet there instead, humming to herself like the world had personally offered her an extra slice of joy that morning.
She wore one of her frilly aprons, the cheerful one with lemons on it. She was currently stirring something in a mixing bowl with the kind of dreamy expression that only came from being deeply in love or extremely excited about cinnamon.
Maybe both.
“Oh hey, Fifi!” she said brightly. “Perfect timing. I was just about to put these in the oven.” She gestured to a tray of cookies.
I smiled automatically. “Morning. Didn’t expect you to be down here.”
“Owen and I took the early shift. He’s out front loading a firewood delivery. I volunteered to handle breakfast since you and Sienna have been covering for me so much lately.”
I opened the fridge and grabbed the orange juice, avoiding her too-curious glance.
“That’s sweet,” I said. “Thanks.”
There was a pause.
She looked at me more closely now, probably picking up on the edge in my voice. I should’ve known better. Violet might have also been the sunny sister, but she had a radar for emotional earthquakes.
“You okay?” she asked gently.
I shrugged, pouring myself a glass and trying to act like my heart hadn’t been trampled by the world’s sexiest temporary guest just thirty minutes ago.
“Fine. Just didn’t sleep great.”
That was technically true.
I also didn’t breathe great or think straight thanks to the man upstairs with the broody eyes and excellent shoulders who kissed me like I was a lighthouse in a storm and then backed away like he’d mistaken me for dangerous rocks.
Violet slid the tray into the oven and turned to face me fully, leaning on the counter.
“Want to talk about it?”
I leaned back against the opposite counter, arms crossed. “Not really.”
“Is this about Mr. Tall, Dark, and Grumble?”
I snorted. “Maybe.”
Violet tilted her head. “Did something happen?”
I hesitated.
A thousand things had happened. All of them fast. All of them intense. All of them wrapped up in this complicated ache I hadn’t quite untangled.
I didn’t want to tell Violet about the kiss, or the truck bed, or the way Ben said he couldn’t do dinner tonight like it was something casual. Like it hadn’t unsteadied me in a way I hadn’t expected.
But she was watching me with that patient, loving gaze, and the words slipped out before I could stop them.
“I thought maybe we were… you know. Getting somewhere.”
She waited.
“And now I’m not sure.”
She walked over and handed me a spoonful of cookie batter. “Taste this. Tell me if it needs more cinnamon.”
I stared at her.
“Is this some weird sisterly wisdom test?”
“No. I just don’t trust my palate this early.”
I took the spoon. Tasted. “Perfect. But also very sneaky.”
She smiled. “Okay, now tell me what happened.”
I set the spoon in the sink and rubbed my forehead. “He got a phone call. Got weird. Said he couldn’t do dinner. And suddenly it’s like we’re strangers again.”
Violet leaned beside me. “Sounds like it shook him.”
“Yeah. But why does it feel like it shook me more?”
She was quiet for a moment.
Then she said, “Because you want it to mean something. And when you want something to mean something, it’s terrifying when the other person suddenly acts like it doesn’t.”
I blinked at her. “When did you get so wise?”
“Somewhere between managing breakfast service and being wildly in love.”
I rolled my eyes, but I smiled too. “You and Owen are ridiculous, you know that?”
“We are,” she said proudly. “Ridiculously happy.”
There was no trace of smugness in her voice. Just warmth. Gratitude. Like she knew how rare it was and didn’t take it for granted.
“I want that,” I admitted before I could talk myself out of it. “Not necessarily the lemon-apron muffins-for-two part, but something real, with someone I can rely on. Laugh with. Kiss under questionable camping circumstances.”
Violet leaned her head on my shoulder. “I think you deserve that. And I think… maybe Ben wants it too. He just doesn’t know what to do with it yet.”
“Yeah, well,” I sighed. “I’m not a jigsaw puzzle to be solved.”
“Nope,” she agreed. “You’re a treasure map. And if he’s smart, he’ll figure out how to follow it.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, grateful and aching all at once.
She straightened and went back to her muffins. “Want to help me prep the breakfast board? Sienna swiped all the good fruit again, so we’re improvising.”
“Only if I get first dibs on the fresh raspberries from outside.”
“Deal.”
And just like that, I felt a little steadier.
Still bruised, but standing.
Because even if Ben was pulling away…
I wasn’t ready to give up until I had answers.
Not yet.
I stood there with the half-prepared fruit board in front of me, holding a strawberry like it might have the answers.
Violet was humming to herself as she lined up small bowls of jam and honey, giving me space.
She always did that, waited for me to find my own words instead of poking until they spilled out.
Still, I could feel the weight of her unasked question hanging in the room.
Finally, I broke the silence.
“There’s something else,” I said quietly.
Violet glanced up, concerned but gentle. “Okay.”
“I heard him on the phone,” I admitted. “Earlier, like I said, just before I asked him to dinner.”
Her expression shifted, curiosity sharpening.
“I wasn’t eavesdropping,” I added quickly. “I mean, not intentionally. I was walking by, and his door was open just a crack, and… he didn’t sound like himself.”
She said nothing, just nodded for me to go on.
“He was tense. Snappy. He said something about not being home, about a decision, about needing space. It wasn’t just work. Or at least, it didn’t sound like just work. It sounded…personal. Said he’d call things off if he didn’t get his break or something.”
The worry I’d been pushing down all morning rose again, and I finally said what had been gnawing at the edges of my thoughts.
Finally, I let myself say it.
“What if he has a wife?”
Violet’s head snapped up.
“I mean, I don’t think he does. But I also don’t know him. Not really. What if this is just a vacation thing to him? Or worse, something to escape from real life before he goes back to someone waiting for him?”
Violet frowned, her voice calm but firm. “Fifi, don’t jump to conclusions. You’re good at reading people. And he’s not exactly the type to play games.”
I nodded slowly, even though my chest still ached.
That’s when the kitchen’s back door swung open and in walked Sienna, backpack slung over one shoulder and a half-eaten granola bar in her hand.
She glanced between us. “What’d I miss?”
“Fifi’s worried Ben might be married,” Violet said.
Sienna blinked once, tossed her granola bar into the trash, and said without missing a beat, “If he’s married, I’ll get the shovel.”
I stared at her. “Oh my God, Sienna.”
“What?” she shrugged. “Nobody breaks my sister’s heart and walks away with both kneecaps.”
Despite myself, I laughed.
Violet sighed. “We’re not there yet. Let’s not start burying anyone.”
Sienna leaned on the counter. “Well, just say the word. I have boots and plausible deniability.”
And weirdly… that made me feel better.
Because no matter what happened next—
I wasn’t going through it alone.