Page 16

CHAPTER 16

When Rhea woke up, she had an arm around her and a man's muscled form behind her. It was different.

Charles hadn't cuddled up to her at night and that was fine. She'd liked her space.

But this? Feeling Brody's heat against her back?

His muscled arm wrapped protectively around her body?

His hand.

Oh boy.

His hand was low on her belly, placed right over that curve of her belly that she had a feeling would never disappear no matter how fit she was.

For a moment she thought about sucking in her belly or moving his hand to her hip, but then she decided against it.

She relaxed back against him and felt him stir.

"Morning, beautiful."

She rolled her eyes, but secretly, she enjoyed the compliment.

She was glad someone thought so.

And then his hand moved, slowly heading down until his fingertips brushed the curls that covered her sex.

"Hey," she covered his hand and put it back where it had been.

"Hey, what?" He leaned in and placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around... everything."

"You can wrap your arms around me any time."

He cuddled her closer and she felt like she could melt into his embrace.

"I like this too."

She wasn't sure that he heard the indecision in her voice, but he surprised her again.

"There's no rush, Rhea. I'm not expecting you to do anything you're not ready for."

Wiggling, she turned and lay on her back so she could look at him.

Seeing him with the morning light coming through the windows and painting him with its soft pink pallet, was an image she never wanted to forget.

"Well, we've already done so much more than I'd intended to do."

She felt the frown before she saw it.

"Do you regret making love with me?"

She smiled, happy to hear him say it that way. "No. I don't regret it at all, but I'm still not ready to make... this," she gestured between them, "something official. It's Chip that I'm concerned about. It's been me and him alone since we lost his dad."

He nodded, but he didn't let it go just yet.

"This isn't a fling for me."

She smiled at him and lifted her hand to his chest.

She stroked her fingers along his abs and sighed. "I know, Brody. It's not for me either. I'm just not sure about making a change so quickly after we just moved to Fallport."

Rhea watched as the words worked their way into Brody's head.

"I won't hurt him."

She swallowed hard knowing that Brody meant it.

"Oh, Brody, you can promise that kind of thing. Charles loved Chip with everything he was, but when we lost him, it hurt. Chip can be hurt by all kinds of things. I have to try and make sure that he's ready for a change like this. A change where he has another man in his life. A man that's going to be like a father to him."

Brody leaned in and kissed her. A gentle touch of his lips against hers.

"Someday," he murmured against her lips, "I want to be a father to him, Rhea. Not just something like."

There was something in his tone that made her ache for him in her heart. "I know, Brody. And when things are right, you will be. I'm just... I'm just not sure when that will be."

She didn't want to hurt Brody with her words, but as much as she cared, as much as Brody was already a part of her, Chip was her first concern.

He deserved her love and had it from the moment she knew that she was carrying him.

"Please," she put her hand over his heart, "be patient with me. I'm trying to do what's best for him, but I want you to know that you mean a lot to me, too."

She felt something twist inside of her when he sat up, the sheet pooling around his waist.

"Brody." She sat up beside him, holding the sheet to her breasts. "Please, don't think I don't want you."

He turned to look at her, hurt shining in his eyes. "But you don't need me."

He flicked back the sheet and got up from the bed, picking up his underwear from the floor.

"Brody?" Rhea put her legs over the edge of the bed and stopped when he reached the door, turning to look at her.

"I'm going to go and look up somewhere to get breakfast before we head back to Fallport. Take your time getting dressed."

He walked out into the other room and Rhea sat back down on the bed, feeling like she'd just made a horrible mistake, but what else could she do?

She wasn't ready to change things so completely for herself. And Chip.

She just couldn't.

It didn't matter how much she felt for Brody. She cared about him. A lot. She cared about him more than she wanted to admit to herself, but she'd already uprooted Chip and brought him to a new town.

Yes, he was happy, but there was so much that was changing.

She didn't want Chip's head spinning like her own was.

She wanted him to feel grounded and sure of their new life before...

She didn't want Chip to think that she was replacing his dad.

He loved Charles as much as she did.

How much change could she put Chip through so soon?

Rhea got up and headed into the shower. She needed the hot water to chase her own pain away before she could sit in Brody's truck with him all the way back to Fallport.

She had to find a way to explain it to him. She didn't want to hurt Brody when all he'd done is shown her how good he was. How amazing he was.

She turned on the shower and stepped in before she checked the heat and regretted it. It was hot and punishing against her skin, but she wasn't about to jump out again. She fiddled with the dial until she felt it hit the right level of heat. It hurt, but she didn't feel it all that much, her heart hurt more.

* * *

Brody looked over at Rhea and wanted to kick himself in the ass.

She was asleep in the passenger seat of his Tahoe,

She looked worn out.

And he knew he was part of the reason she was suffering.

He'd intended to be a support for her, and he'd ended up making her uncomfortable.

"I'm a fucking asshole."

He hissed when Rhea shifted in the passenger seat, her eyes fluttering open.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "We should be back in time for you to pick up Chip from school."

She sat up in the chair and hid a yawn from him.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. You looked like you were getting some rest."

He saw her looking at him from the corner of his eye.

"I slept a little. It's good. You could probably use some sleep. I can drive the rest of the way."

He flexed his hands on the steering wheel and kept his gaze on the road ahead. "I've got this. You should relax."

There was a moment of quiet before she spoke again. "It's kind of hard to relax when you sound like you're ordering me to do it."

"Is that what I sound like?"

She shrugged. "A little. But it could just be me trying to get my head on straight before I get back. I might be strung a little too tight. I'm trying not to let this affect Chip. He doesn't have any idea that they're suing me for custody, and I don't want him to worry about what's happening."

Brody continued to drive listening to the 90's music on the Satellite station.

"Do you," he heard Rhea exhale, "I mean if this actually gets a hearing, he's going to have to know. They'd likely have to ask him about what he thinks. About me and how I'm raising him. Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Not telling him?"

Brody blew out a breath. "I don't know."

He heard her exhale and a sigh as she leaned her head against the window. "I don't know either. That's what's killing me."

She went quiet again.

"I shouldn't say that. Talking about death like it's... just another topic of conversation."

"Can I ask?" Brody looked over at her. "About how-"

"How we lost Charles?"

"Yeah." He barely heard his answer. It came out from his throat, but it was barely a whisper.

"He had a heart attack at work." Her voice was steady, but her hands were wringing in her lap. "One day he went out the door, kissing me goodbye and saying he'd see me at home later. He gave Chip a hug and kissed him all over his face before setting him into my arms. He got into his car and drove away.

"A few hours later I got a call telling me that he was dead. I almost laughed, thinking it was a cruel joke, but I could feel it. An empty hole gnawing through my middle. It felt like the floor dropped out from under me and I don't know how long I was sitting there until I came to. Tears rolling down my cheeks. The only thing that made me feel like I was alive was Chip. Even though I tried desperately to hold myself together, all it took was seeing his smiling face and hearing his laughter.

"Because of him I was able to get up every day. Put food in my belly. And go to my job. I was missing a whole part of me, but Chip was there. He needed to eat. To play. To live. And I did it, too. For him."

"And you decided to move because of his family?"

Rhea smiled at the billboard on the side of the road advertising another tourism center.

"I thought that they'd realize what they'd lost. That they'd come around and Chip could have someone who could tell him about his father. But once his paychecks stopped, and the money to them stopped, we only heard from them once.

"A call where I could barely hear my own thoughts. After I answered, all they did was yell at me. Who did I think I was? They were his real family. They demanded that I keep paying them since Charles had agreed to do it. To help them."

Brody looked up in the rear view and put on the signal before moving to the right lane.

A moment later, a Highway Patrol car rushed by.

Brody looked at her. "The left lane has a few people camped in it. I had to let him by."

She smiled. "I get it. I work with you, remember."

He nodded, smiling as he continued to drive.

"So, what did you tell them?"

She sighed. "I told them that now I only had one income and I'd been using my pay all along to pay for us. To keep a roof over our head and food on the table. I was lucky that I'd already had insurance from my job."

He grinned. "One of the benefits working in the medical field, right?"

"Yeah. It was a lifeline. They even offered me more shifts, longer hours, but-"

"You had Chip, and he needed you."

"Yes." She turned to him and smiled. "That's why I didn't take the extra hours or the shifts. Then money was also becoming a problem. We had a mortgage, and it was a pretty decent sized check every month. I could have kept it if..."

"But you wanted to be there for Chip."

"Well, that I needed him. I needed that face and those eyes. I needed to feel his love and see him thriving. He was and will be my heart."

Brody reached out his arm and covered her hands with his. "He's a special kid."

Rhea nodded, her gaze staring out the window at the passing trees. "I hope that the move was the right thing to do. That's my job now. To make sure he's good."

"You will, Rhea. I know you will."

She smiled and he felt his heart swell in his chest. "I just hope I don't disappoint you. And Chip."

He shook his head. "You could never disappoint me, Rhea. Unless you give up on yourself. And I know that Chip would never be disappointed with you."

"I hope not."

He managed to lift one of her hands and brought it over to his mouth, kissing the tips of her fingers. "I know you won't, Rhea. You're going to be fine. Both of you. And I'm going to be there to help."