Page 16

Cate

Ciara’s driving had not improved in my absence. I gripped the grab handle, holding on for dear life as she took a hairpin turn like there was a checkered flag waiting on the other side. Naturally, she was oblivious, chattering merrily the entire time, as if crashing was the furthest thing from her mind. Then again, she would recover if we did.

Lach was wrong. There was no way that I was a fae. I still feared death. None of them ever seemed to worry about it.

“You know the bona fides spell won’t protect us from dying in a car accident, right?” I asked when she reached to adjust the mirror. At least, the spell wouldn’t protect me .

If you ’ re human . I shoved the thought from my mind.

She checked her lipstick, narrowly avoiding a bank of parked cars. “You worry too much.”

“I worked in a hospital,” I reminded her.

“Since I’m such a bad driver, I guess it’s a good thing we’re on our way there,” she teased, but there was a nervous energy to her behavior that belied her cool attitude: eyes darting to check the mirrors, constantly glancing out the windows. I hadn’t seen her this on edge since Bain was in town.

Scrounging up some faith, I released my hold on the handle. I wiggled in my seat to face her, doing my best to ignore the city whizzing past her window at breakneck speeds. “What’s going on with you?”

“I’m just making sure that no one is following us,” she admitted.

I blinked. “Why would anyone be following us?”

She looked over at me, sighing deeply.

“Eyes on the road!” I barked at her.

She dutifully turned back to it. “Because Roark is always around now.”

I don’t know what I had expected her to say, but it wasn’t that. “Roark? You think he’s following us?”

“He takes his job as penumbra very seriously.” Her pert nose wrinkled like she actually smelled him coming. “He’s always around, checking on me, asking if I need anything, reminding me to eat and sleep.”

“Sounds like absolute torture,” I said dryly. “Maybe he’s just worried about you.”

“I know he is… Shit .” She propped her elbows against the steering wheel to yank the signet ring off her finger before dropping it in the Porsche’s cupholder. “ And he probably heard all of that.”

“Lach says that he could tune Roark out when he was wearing it.” I frowned. “Please don’t tell me he was lying about that.”

I liked Roark, but he didn’t need a front-row seat to my love life.

Ciara’s shrug didn’t ease my fears. “So I’ve been told,” she said. “The trouble is that I never remember and I’m not even sure if I’m doing it correctly. I mean, could you imagine if someone heard all of your thoughts?”

I could see her point.

“If Lach knew the constant whiplash of emotions I felt toward him, he probably would have left me in Dublin,” I admitted.

“I doubt that.” Ciara shook her head, sending her inky hair swirling around her shoulders. “But Roark is my brother’s best friend. He hardly acknowledged my existence before this, and now he’s stuck babysitting me.”

I bit my tongue. More than once, I had noticed the Nether Court’s penumbra watching over Ciara, especially during her short-lived engagement to Bain. I doubted he saw spending time with her as a chore.

“And Lach acts like he’s really abdicated the throne,” she continued, “but he never even asked me if I wanted it. Technically, Fiona is older than me. It should be her.”

“Maybe he thinks you’re the best person for the job.”

She snorted, drumming the steering wheel with her manicured fingernails. “Fiona would be so much better than me. Hell, Shaw would be better than me.”

“Why would you think that?” It wasn’t that I thought less of her siblings, but Ciara had always seemed so self-assured. Maybe the sudden responsibility had unmoored her. I knew a thing or two about surprises; they screwed with your head. “You’re more than capable of taking charge of the court. It’s thanks to you that your brother was able to return to New Orleans.”

“The witches did that.”

“And who got them to work together?” I pointed out.

“You might be impressed now, but wait until you see how dysfunctional they are. I’m just hoping they keep cooperating.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. “If they’re anything like the witches who helped me at the Hallow Court, they will, and you’ve got the rest of us now.”

She smiled over at me—the first genuine one since we’d gotten into the car. “So, are you glad to be back?”

That was a loaded question.

“I am.” Despite everything, I meant it.

“I bet you are,” she said with a laugh. “I can’t imagine being trapped with Oberon. He’s so uptight. And so weird around other creatures, like he finds them completely disgusting. I bet he’s a total germaphobe.”

That was potentially the nicest thing anyone could say about Oberon. “His place was unusually spotless.”

I tried not to think about that locked room in the bowels of his court, tried not to think about those eerily silent halls, tried not to wonder how long it would be before he came after us.

Because I had no doubt that he would. He wanted my ring enough to kidnap me. Enough to marry me. Enough to start a war. And the damn thing was attached to me like a parasite.

“You got quiet,” Ciara said. An invitation to talk.

But I didn’t know what to say, especially with Lach’s warning ringing in my ears. “I’m just tired.”

“I bet you are.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Because you’re banging my brother!”

She pounded the steering wheel, hitting the horn. Pedestrians scattered as it blared, a few flipping her off. But she didn’t seem to notice.

“You have an unhealthy obsession with our sex life.” I should have known the fae weren’t uptight when they hosted an orgy as part of a wedding celebration.

“I’m just glad to see him happy,” she confessed. “He deserves it, even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think that’s true. And when Oberon took you… I’ve never seen him like that. Nothing was going to keep him from you, even the Wild Hunt.”

The words twisted my heart because I knew they were true.

“He could’ve gotten himself killed.” With everything hanging over our heads, I kept returning to that. Not just that he had chosen not to go into hiding, but that I was the one who should be on the run. MacAlister’s blood was as much on my hands as it was on his. And now with things between us even more complicated, I wasn’t certain we had enough time to figure everything out.

I was no closer to untangling my feelings when she pulled into the hospital’s parking lot a few minutes later.

“It’s pretty romantic,” Ciara said after the long silence, “if you think about it.”

“What?” I asked, distracted by the fact that she was parked in the chief of medicine’s spot. Garcia wouldn’t like that.

She unfastened her seat belt but didn’t get out of the car. “That man would die for you and smile with his last breath.”

Barb made us sign in at the front desk, lecturing me for taking so long to visit my brother. By the time she buzzed us through the security door, her words had hit their mark, and oily guilt welled inside me.

“Fair warning, Haley chewed out Lach, too,” Ciara whispered as she stuck her visitor’s badge to her leather jacket.

Channing must have been in bad shape if she’d had the nerve to do that.

Ciara grabbed my hand and squeezed. “It’s not your fault. You would have been here if…”

The familiar scent of bleach stung my nostrils as soon as we were through the doors. But no nostalgic longing hit me. A month ago, I’d been begging to keep my job. Now? Everything looked the same. I could walk over and pick up a chart from the nurse’s station. Grab syringes and specimen collection kits from the supply closet. Rush to the crash cart if someone coded. But I didn’t recognize the nurses chatting at the counter. I was wearing a visitor’s badge. This wasn’t my world anymore. I didn’t know how to feel about that, especially in light of everything Lach had told me since my return.

A nurse stepped into the hall as we passed, rubbing her temples, before doggedly continuing to the next room. If my brother had never been shot, if I had never gone looking for the Avalon hotel, if I had never made that bargain, it would be me pulling a double shift, circles lining my eyes as I pounded coffee to keep myself alert.

“Do you miss it?” Ciara asked as we made our way down the hall.

“Not exactly.” I tried to sort through my thoughts. “I don’t miss the hours and the stress and the shitty pay. But I miss the adrenaline rush.”

She rolled her eyes. “I guess it’s a good thing our family is so boring .”

That was a fair point. I didn’t know how to feel because I didn’t have time to miss it. But the life-and-death stakes of the hospital felt slightly different than being in love with a man marked for death. I could walk away from my job—in a way, I had.

I couldn’t walk away from Lach.

My pulse sped up instinctively as we reached the private half of the trauma center—the conditioned response to rarely being allowed back here before. It ratcheted to eleven when the chief of medicine strode straight for us.

“Ciara!” Dr. Garcia greeted her so warmly that my mouth fell open.

I had no idea he could smile. It was like stumbling upon an unknown wonder of the world.

When had they gotten so chummy? Garcia turned and stared at me for a few seconds, all traces of friendliness vanishing.

“Hello,” I said when he didn’t speak.

“Cate.” He nodded once. That was more like what I expected. “We don’t see you around here very often.”

Ciara wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “Lachlan can’t bear to be without her for very long.” She batted her lashes at him. “You know how it is with soulmates.”

I sputtered in surprise, nearly choking on my own spit. Ciara frowned and whacked my back. Garcia looked equally perplexed. His bushy brows drew together before a new smile appeared. This one didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’ve been taking good care of your brother. The vampire blood helped, of course.”

Hearing those words out of Garcia’s mouth was nearly as shocking as seeing him smile. “ Vampire?”

“They didn’t tell you? The damage was quite extensive, and frankly, I’m not sure he would have made it without it,” he said, lowering his voice conspiratorially to add, “not that I particularly like having a vampire hanging around my hospital.”

If he winked at me, I might have an actual heart attack. Garcia knew. Which meant he knew about Lach. Which meant… Where was that crash cart?

Ciara eyed me nervously like she expected I might faint. Judging from how my head was swimming, she might not be wrong. She gripped my elbow, her fae strength keeping me upright. “We better get in there and see him while he’s awake.”

“I’m off to check the inventory.” Garcia tipped his head to me. “Let me know if you need anything.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I nodded.

“You didn’t realize that he knew,” Ciara guessed as she steered us toward Channing’s room.

“I think my whole life is a lie,” I said numbly.

Ciara laughed, not realizing that I was serious.

Everything was a lie.

My ring. My job. My world.

“Garcia doesn’t seem very happy about the vampire Baptiste sent,” she continued. “I bet he’s off to count the blood bags.”

We found a man blocking the door to Channing’s room when we reached it. Tall and wiry like my brother, he filled the entire frame. Something about him held me back, but Ciara popped onto her tiptoes to tap his shoulder. He glanced down, smiling when he saw her. “Oops. Sorry.”

“Cate’s here to see her brother. Dante, this is Cate,” Ciara said, motioning to me. “Dante healed your brother.”

He turned, and I found myself staring at his high, elegant cheekbones, the sensual curve of his mouth. His eyes were so black that I couldn’t make out even a sliver of iris. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He was perfectly polite and gorgeous, but my wariness remained, deepening as he reached into his jeans and pulled out a pair of leather gloves. I resisted the urge to back away. For once, my survival instinct had kicked in when it was supposed to, but I held out a hand to the vampire.

He tugged the gloves on, fastening them neatly at each wrist, before he shook it. “I just came by to shoot the shit with Shaw and Channing.”

“You’re welcome to stay,” I told him.

“No, I should get going.” He waved into the room behind him. “I’ll catch you later. We’re going to hang when you get out of here, right?”

My heart leaped when I heard Channing’s grunted response. “Sure, bro.”

Dante said goodbye to us, and I tried not to stare as I processed watching a vampire leave my brother’s hospital room.

“I should be used to this by now,” I muttered.

“Vampires have that effect on you,” Ciara said dreamily.

But I shook my head. “No, I mean this.” I pointed to the hospital surrounding us. “Channing getting hurt, getting in trouble. I tried to keep him out of this world.”

And somehow, he’d wound up shot. Again. Maybe it was a good thing he knew a vampire—I clearly didn’t know how to keep him alive.

“You can’t choose someone else’s path. You can only choose if you’re willing to walk alongside them.” She searched my face. “Are you?”

I wasn’t giving up on my brother, no matter what trouble he found himself in, but that didn’t mean I was okay with what he’d done. “Is it wrong that I’m still mad at him for going to Oberon?”

“If it makes you feel any better, Lach already let him have it,” Ciara whispered.

It didn’t, but I smiled anyway. Maybe I finally had someone on my team.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the room.

Shaw shot up from the chair in the corner before I could turn toward the hospital bed. “Cate!” He rushed toward me, enveloping me in a hug. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you alive.”

“I won’t be for long,” I croaked, “because you’re crushing me to death.” I tallied my lack of superhuman strength—or, for that matter, my weakness to theirs—in the human category.

The youngest Gage released me, taking a sheepish step backward. “Oops. I still can’t believe that Oberon and Titania…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I must have pretty bad taste in women, huh?”

That was putting it mildly, but I forced a grim smile. “I thought Oberon was my friend, too.”

He looked grateful for the out. “I’m sorry I didn’t come by the Avalon earlier.”

“’Cause he’s stuck babysitting me,” Channing called.

“Stuck, huh? You’re the one who won’t get out of that hospital bed,” Shaw said.

“Because I was paralyzed just a few days ago,” Channing argued, his tone souring.

I stumbled a step when I saw him, heat prickling my eyes as I swallowed this news. “Paralyzed?”

No one had mentioned this.

“I’m not now.” But the swift response did nothing to stop my tears from falling.

“Why don’t we give you a second?” Ciara hooked an arm around Shaw and dragged him out of the room.

Channing turned a pair of round, innocent eyes on me. “Hey, sis.”

“Why does that sound familiar?” I didn’t budge from the foot of the bed, unsure what to say to him. Anger and relief and disappointment and frustration swirled inside me, each emotion vying for their turn.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “I thought I was protecting you.”

And somehow that was all that mattered.

Because that’s what we did—that’s what we had always done. We looked out for each other. We tried our best, and when we didn’t, we owned it.

I was still angry, still hurt by his actions, but the truth was, I wouldn’t have done anything differently than he had. “I’m sorry, too.”

“What for?” He scratched his eyebrow like it might jog his memory. “I’m the one who sold you out to that psychopath.”

“I kept you in the dark. I didn’t leave you any other options.” And I had made a bargain to save his life. How could I blame him for doing the same thing?

But Channing shook his head. “There are always other options.”

It was possibly the wisest thing he had ever said. Clearly, he had been spending a lot of time with Shaw.

We both fell silent. It wasn’t the comfortable silence of friends or family, the kind that came without expectation. It was the lingering, awkward silence of two people who cared deeply about one another but had forgotten how to talk to each other.

Channing was the one to finally speak. “Nothing’s ever going to be the same between us again, is it?”

Fresh tears hit my cheeks, and I wiped them away quickly. “No, probably not.”

He dropped his head, and his hair—always too long—fell to cover his face.

“But that’s not a bad thing,” I continued. “People change. They grow.”

In the end, the root of all love was choosing whether to grow together or whether to grow apart.

He lifted his head. “Are you with him?”

I didn’t have to ask who he meant.

I nodded. “Yes.”

Maybe I didn’t know what that looked like. Maybe I had a lot to sort through. But Lach was a part of my life now.

“By choice?” he asked quietly.

Choice? The question triggered the memory of today’s conversation with Lach. I could reject him. He’d told me so himself. I could refuse to accept that he was my mate, and he would respect it.

Lach had given me the keys to my prison, which meant the mating bond wasn’t really a prison at all.

But there was still so much we didn’t know about each other.

Channing cleared his throat after a few moments of silence. “Now you’re worrying me.”

My smile was tight but genuine. “I’m just trying to figure out how to tell my brother that I’m involved with the Gage family.”

“Dammit, Cate. We swore to each other,” he said lightly, the words conjuring a similar conversation we’d had in a room just like this one not so long ago.

“At least you’re not cuffed to the bed this time.”

Channing picked at the tape covering his IV. “I’m pretty sure your boyfriend would prefer that I was.”

“I’ll talk to him,” I promised, and I would. About Channing. About life. About the future. About everything. “In the meantime, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.” He winced as he tried to sit up. “As long as I don’t have to give up my pain meds yet.”

I guess vampire blood only got you so far.

“Stay out of trouble.” I leaned over and ruffled his hair.

“I always try.”

Far from reassuring. But he would live, I reminded myself as I said goodbye, heading into the hall to find Ciara.

Channing would walk. He would get another chance, and yeah, he would probably fuck up again. The real question was: What place should he have in my life? My complicated, dangerous life. I’d nearly lost him twice to this world. The trouble was that I didn’t know how to let him go. He was no longer all that I had, and maybe it was selfish of me, but despite that, I still wanted him around.

Ciara was perched on the counter of the nurse’s station, studying a worn copy of Vogue . She tossed it back in a stack as I approached and hopped down. “You look really serious.”

“I think you’re supposed to look serious when your brother has been shot.”

But she rolled her eyes. “My brothers get shot all the time.”

Okay, maybe I didn’t need to hear that. “That is not reassuring.”

“Sorry.” But her smile was anything but apologetic. It was a fact of life for her.

I guess that made it a fact of life for me, too. Not that it wouldn’t take some getting used to.

Once we’d gotten into the car, I barely noticed her driving as she headed across town toward the Avalon.

My decision was made before we were out of the French Quarter. I was part of both worlds, like it or not, and I was never going to survive— we were never going to survive—if our whole lives were built on secrets. I needed to seek answers about my ring, about my parents, about everything, even if it meant finding something I didn’t like. Romy had given me a name: I would start there. But that would take time, and seeing Channing in the hospital had reminded me how instantly life could change. I’d kept the truth about my bargain with Lach from him, and it had nearly cost my brother his life. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“I think Channing should move into my place,” I mused as she turned on Iberville. “We can keep an eye on him there.”

“About that…” Ciara hesitated for long enough that I knew more bad news was coming. “When Channing was shot, it became a crime scene…and the landlord might have had you evicted.”

“Evicted?” I shot forward so fast that my seat belt locked, practically strangling me. “How could he even do that?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

But it was a very big deal to me. One more chapter in my old life had ended, the book closing without me even realizing it.

“Lach wouldn’t have let you go back there,” she said when I remained quiet. “We got all your stuff. It’s boxed up in your old room at the Avalon.”

I tried to force a smile but couldn’t get my lips to obey.

“And don’t worry about Channing. He’s family. We’ll get him on his feet and keep him out of trouble,” she promised.

Because that’s what families did.

And my family no longer consisted of just Channing. Ciara was my family, and Shaw and Roark. Even Fiona—whether she liked it or not. I was one of them. That’s what Lach had wanted me to see, but I saw what he didn’t.

We needed to keep our families close, not push them away. “I have to tell you something.”

The car slowed, Ciara glancing nervously at me. “The tone of your voice tells me that maybe I shouldn’t be driving.”

“Maybe not.” Emotions bottled inside my throat. Maybe my ring belonged to a fallen court. Maybe it didn’t. It was easy to keep a secret that didn’t feel like mine. No, it was the other secret that weighed me down. If I didn’t have some help carrying it, I wasn’t certain that I could.

Ciara swerved the car into a spot on the street, half her tires on the curb, and spun toward me. “Out with it.”

“Something happened.” Was I really going to tell her? Because admitting it might be the first step in accepting it, and that was a whole different problem. “And I don’t really know how to feel about it.”

“Is everything okay?” She clasped my hand. “You can tell me anything.”

Somehow, I knew that. Somehow, I’d always known that. Because Ciara had been like a sister since the day we met. So it made sense that she was the one I would share this with.

And maybe I needed her to inject a little joy into this situation, because I was still a little numb. “I don’t want Lach to know that I told you.”

She nodded her head solemnly, crossing her heart with her free hand.

I considered covering my ears, but in the end, I just braced myself for the imminent squeal.

“Your brother and I are mates.”