Page 19

Chapter

Nineteen

I was in a terrible mood when I went down to the kitchen to find something edible. The ball was still going on, and everything was a mess, the buffet table half devoured, spilled on the floor and smeared into the gemstone tile. I felt like that, also stupidly aching for Max, particularly when he told me he’d rather be with Vervain than me. If Slaughter wouldn’t let me go, why would Max? Weren’t they the same? Hm? Of course not! It was just depressing how impossible everything was. I couldn’t be with Slaughter. But I couldn’t let him die, and I’d made him my consort-mate, so that licking thing was probably going to lead to all kinds of dark salaciousness. I should be glad that Max came and then left. Why wasn’t I? Maybe because he was my consort, and I needed him to bear the weight of responsibility. Without him, of course I’d be cranky. Maybe I was just hungry.

I stacked a bunch of elaborate sculpted flower delicacies on a platter made of frozen dew drops and then stopped. Was that a whimper I’d heard?

I drifted towards the sound, stacking some cheese with tiny blossoms pressed into the pale surface until I heard another sound. It came from beneath the table directly behind me.

I whirled around and crouched, pulling up the cloth so I could catch the little wolf by the scruff before she disappeared. She was furry and sad, with tears in those big golden wolf eyes. Ruin. She looked like her heart was broken. My own heart melted and ached with her.

I climbed under the table, bringing my plate. “Do you want cheese?” I offered it to the wolf. After a moment’s hesitation, she carefully took it from my fingers. “What do you think of the flower cheese? What if we put it on pizza? Would that be too weird? Like Max with his wings. I’m so disappointed that they aren’t more sparkly.”

She blinked at me and then shifted into the little girl whose fabulous outfit had become tattered and torn, stained and ruined, like her makeup and hair. “Max has wings? You mean, Slaughter.” She sighed heavily. No one knew what to do with the killer lupin sorcerer. He’d been willing to die, but how dare he die unless I killed him? My feelings didn’t make sense. Max being Slaughter made even less.

I patted Ruin’s head. “Right now, I mean Max. Earlier, it was Slaughter. Your alpha needs so much therapy, Ruin. Are there a lot of werewolf therapists around? Not here, obviously, but on earth.”

“No. I mean, there’s the Alta. He’s supposed to be really wise.”

I nodded and handed her another piece of cheese. “We’ll have to see if he can be bought or bribed. This is a good place to hide. Good thinking. We’re close enough to the food, but far enough from the music so we don’t have to dance ourselves to death.”

“You’re really the death fairy. You’re scarier than Slaughter.” She stared at me with big eyes, puzzled, sad, overwhelmed. Like I’d felt so many times at court functions when I was supposed to be able to lead those I couldn’t hope to understand.

I hugged my knees, balancing the plate on top of them. Nothing looked particularly appetizing. Pizza would be so much better. “Thanks? No, I’m not the death fairy anymore. I was. I really was, but these days I’m just a dull, midnight fairy.”

Her bottom lip trembled. “I want to go home.”

“Okay. I’ll just…” Then I remembered the goblin’s warnings about war in Singsong. I couldn’t take Ruin somewhere she wouldn’t be safe. “Actually, right now isn’t a great time to travel.”

Her eyes widened and then narrowed. “Why not? Are you going to keep me here as your pet? Really? Are you going to get an expensive collar for me? I deserve expensive.”

I rolled my eyes and elbowed her. “I’m not going to make you my pet. That would be more ridiculous than stealing an owl egg.”

“You told them to take me away, your pet.”

“That’s the communication style around here.” I eyed her and then sighed. “Fine. I was definitely a death-fairy and when I’m feeling like that, I can get kind of intense and lacking in awareness of other people’s feelings. But I’m fine now. And super sensitive.”

She rolled her eyes. “What about Max?”

“What about him?”

She elbowed me with her sharp poky side daggers. “Don’t evade. I’m freaking out here. The fairies don’t like wolves, and they like Slaughter least of all. He’s your consort? They’re freaking out. Everyone is freaking out, and you just disappeared. And all these people are at the fairy ball, like it’s never going to end. Where were you?”

I shrugged. “I was sulking mostly, and then I was healing Max, and then I was sleeping, and then I was trying to negotiate with Slaughter. He does not negotiate well. It’s astonishing that Vervain was able to get him to ally with us. Astonishing.”

She snorted. “Astonishing? No, it finally all makes sense, his whole weird fairy thing. I didn’t get it until I saw the death-fairy. You’re scarier than Slaughter. How could he resist you?”

I stared at her and then fed her another piece of cheese while I nibbled on a flower petal tart. Was that what it was? Did I somehow seduce Slaughter with my psychotic nature? How perfect was that? Not at all, considering I was finished with the death fairy. Done. “Pizza is better,” I finally said.

She nodded. “Fairyland is great to visit, but I want to go home.” She looked at me with big, longing eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m a psychotic death-fairy. I can’t be manipulated by puppy-dog looks.”

She batted her lashes at me. “Seriously though, I’m worried about the other kids. If they aren’t strong enough to fight…And if they are, they’ll be dragged into one faction or another. Max needs to go back to Singsong and fix this.”

“He’s my consort now.” I didn’t say that he was mine, that he belonged to me and with me, but I felt it. Possession. I wanted to find him and chain him to something until he realized his place, and it was with me, not Vervain, not anyone or anything else in any other world. Mine. I was as possessive and cranky as a toddler without a nap, because Vervain had stolen my consort.

“And you’re his mate,” she reminded me, like I could forget. “I heard you. Consort-mate. That means you have dual rulership of Fairyland and Song. Besides which, the fairies there are your responsibility. You messed with them hard core. You can’t just abandon them now!”

I fed her another piece of cheese. She made a good point. The fairies in the werewolf caverns in Song were there because of me, but they’d all exiled themselves in the first place. How much power did I really have over them? How much responsibility? “I’m not sure that’s going to work.”

The idea of having more responsibility than all of Fairyland was slightly overwhelming. Was I going to have a heart attack? It felt like it.

“Why not?” she asked with her mouth full.

“I need to take care of Fairyland full time. Besides which, Slaughter is impossible to negotiate with.”

“Bribe him with affection and flattery.”

I raised a brow at her. She made it sound so obvious and simple. “Affection and flattery? What do you know about negotiating with monsters?”

“I’ve seen enough wolves smitten by their mates. Beneath the terrifying monster and infernal magic is just another wolf who sees you as his moon.” She smiled at me blandly and took another piece of cheese. “The flowers are weird, but the cheese is good. I’m not going to ask what kind it is.”

“Fairyland cheese. Grows on trees.”

“Horrifying. Please let me go home.” She batted her big eyes at me.

I frowned at her. “I’m not letting you go without protection.”

“Then come with me.” She tugged on my hand.

“I’m pretty sure I’d just make things worse.”

“Then take Max with you.”

“I can’t take him anywhere. He has to choose. Also, I don’t know if he’d be any help. He’s a lupin sorcerer. He might look at the rising chaos and decide to rise with it, maybe take over a world or two while he was at it.”

She leaned forward, her eyes intent, trusting. It was a terrible combination. “You have the power to make a difference. It’s your responsibility to make choices based on your own conscience instead of external influences.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Max said that to you one of those times you took a stupid dare. And he thought you weren’t paying attention.”

She shrugged. “I get that lecture a lot. It would be really hard to miss it completely. Please, Princess Sparkles? Save the pack. Take me home. Get some pizza.”

I hesitated, but her eyes were so sad, and she was right about Fairyland not being good for her. Earthland was a big place. We could find somewhere safe for her to stay with people who would take care of her. Maybe. At least I had to try.

“Fine, but you have to stay with Felix while I try to wrangle a monster. It will not be easy.”

“You just need practice. You’ll be having him eating out of your hand in no time.”

I shivered, because I was pretty sure I could get him to do that easily. He’d had no problems licking me. The trouble was if he’d end up eating my hand entirely.

I tracked him down using Vervain’s familiar mind. They were in a place he considered the training court, a large stone square on the north side of the structure where the garden flowed around the training area. Vervain was fighting fiercely with the newly winged Max. I skimmed over his thoughts, watching Max swing his weapon at him, whirl away and dodge with excellent use of his terrifying stretch of jagged abyss wings, like a black hole he dragged behind him. He was impressively beautiful like that, fighting the silver and green fairy, like night and day. Max was such a beautiful night.

I shook my head before Vervain got a glimpse of my thoughts. He didn’t need to hear what I thought about Max. Particularly when I didn’t want to know what I thought about him.

When I got to the court, I stepped in, and Vervain dropped to his knees, ignoring Max’s swing, so he had to throw his weapon to the side to keep from chopping off Vervain’s head. The fairy did that on purpose. Did he want Max to chop off his head?

“My Queen,” he said, bowing lower. “How may I assist you?”

I walked slowly over the stones to where Max was breathing hard, skin shimmering with sweat while those wings arced behind him, framing his head. He’d shaved that annoyingly attractive jaw so it was bare. I couldn’t talk to that jaw.

I turned resolutely away from the wolf and smiled at Vervain. “Would you do me the honor of conveying a message to the Queen’s Consort?”

He rose smoothly to his feet with a polite court smile. “It would be my pleasure, my Queen. What missive would you have me deliver?”

I glanced at Max. His face was impassive, eyes glowing slightly as he tracked me. I looked away. “Inform him that I will soon be leaving for Singsong City, and that I request his company if he is inclined to join me.”

Vervain paused before he turned to Max. “The Queen is leaving Fairyland for Singsong City. You will accompany her as bodyguard and protector. Just a moment.” He turned back around to frown at me. “You can’t go to Singsong City. Not only is it dangerously unstable, you’ve just accepted the title of Queen. You have your position here to cement after your choice of consort is making people question your sanity as well as your autonomy. You must rally your people when they are still confused as to whether or not you are the death fairy. You also have your court to establish. Not to mention your country to defend. The traitor wouldn’t have openly challenged you if she wasn’t confident in her backers. They’re waiting for you to show any weakness.”

I frowned at him. “And what does the Queen’s consort have to say about it?”

Vervain frowned back at me. “Be sensible.”

“Relay my consort’s words, if you would be so kind.”

Vervain narrowed his silver-green eyes at me and then turned to face Max. “What is your response to my Queen? She will have your answer.”

Max gave me a cool look. “If you would ask my mate what purpose she has in travelling to Singsong City, I would be most grateful.”

“My Queen’s reasoning is hardly your concern. Your duty is her protection and pleasure,” Vervain responded, sounding like a pompous idiot.

Max murmured, “My Queen’s pleasure is certainly more than my duty.” His eyes were so horribly warm and delicious. And those words… He continued, “I have difficulty responding when I lack knowledge regarding her motivations and desires.”

“Ruin wants to go home,” I said, still not looking at Max and his gorgeous black velvet wings. “I also need to protect the homeless fairies. I also want pizza.”

He blinked at me. “Does my Queen object to my answering directly?” he asked Vervain.

“Does she?” Vervain asked me.

“Yes. She does.” I nodded and crossed my arms.

“In that case,” Max said, staring at me intently, “Tell my Queen that I have conditions which must be met if she’d like to go to Singsong City. Otherwise, I will refuse to allow my mate to put herself at risk.”

I glared at him. He’d refuse to allow me? He was going to die. He met my glare with a steady gaze that was still so irritatingly warm and soft. Sweet. Why was Max so irresistibly soft?

Vervain cleared his throat. “What are your conditions?”

“She will follow my orders. Whether it’s keeping her eyes down, or staying behind me, she will do as I say with precision and without argument.”

“As her bodyguard, going with her into enemy territory, it is not an unreasonable request,” Vervain said, shooting me a look. “However, my Queen is not known for being reasonable.”

I snorted. I was supposed to agree to be Slaughter’s slave? And that was reasonable?

Max continued. “Another condition is that my Queen will not channel the death-fairy while we are in Singsong City. If force is required, I will provide it.”

Because my job was to look pretty. I narrowed my eyes at him but didn’t say anything. The truth was, channeling the death fairy was the last thing I wanted to do.

“And my last requirement is that she sleep in my bed while we are there.”

I stiffened up while the memory of waking up being held in Slaughter’s hands thrummed panic through my chest.

“No. Absolutely not.” I shook my head while my breath came short. I grabbed Vervain in a panicked hug, squeezing him while I pressed my head too hard against his chest. I shoved my thoughts into his head. I’d rather die. Literally. I can’t do it. I can’t be married to Slaughter, and I can’t wake up with his hands ready to crush my skull. I can’t do this. I’m so close to breaking, running, and never, ever coming back. I need the soft Max, who is too na?ve to exist. Why does Max have to be Slaughter, the monster I hate most of all? You know that the only reason I didn’t kill him is because it would have ruined me and my people forever. I did it to save myself, not him. Never him.

Vervain put his hands around me in what he may have meant to be a hug, but he wasn’t particularly soft, either. My Queen, you made him your consort-mate. It was a moment of high drama and panic, which usually lead to bad choices. You can break the mate bindings as readily as consort. Think how easy it will be for us to kill him while he’s sleeping.

I tried to pull away from my psychotic councilor, but Max grabbed us both in a hug, his warm, strong chest against my back as he circled us with his massive strong arms.

“I meant for you to sleep in my bed, alone, in the most secure place I have to offer you, to protect you from enemies as well as Slaughter,” he murmured in my ear, so maybe Vervain didn’t hear it.

Having Max wrapped around me was so intensely real, so strong and warm and cozy. He gave me the hug Vervain had no idea how to give, and I soaked it in, even though I should have kept the distance between us very clearly demarcated.

I sniffed. “So you just want me to bow to you? The thing about fairies, we can bow to anyone. We have no pride. And then you’ll wake up dead because we have no honor, either.”

He rumbled a laugh before he pulled back, leaving me in a weird hug with Vervain, who Max had kind of mooshed me against. We both jerked away, feeling equally awkward. Vervain’s frown was troubled.

“Does my queen agree with the consort’s requests?”

I turned to frown at Max. He wanted me in his bed without him? That was almost worse than him demanding I sleep with Slaughter. “She agrees. But has the freedom to take whoever she desires to her bed.”

I smiled at Vervain and winked at him.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re referring to the young Ruin in your efforts to protect her. Your consort will not misunderstand our extremely platonic relationship. He is your strength. The more distance between you, the weaker you both will be. I am loyal to the Queen, which means I will never put myself in the position of making her weak.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, turning to Max. “He’s no fun.”

Max squinted at Vervain. “Loyalty can be fun. And I’m sure that leaving him here in Fairyland while you take Ruin to Singsong will give you peace of mind.”

Vervain scowled. “I’m not staying here while my Queen goes into a pack war.”

Max looked at me. “The wolves will smell my jealousy if he comes with us.”

I blinked at him while my heart throbbed. He was jealous? Of Vervain? “And…”

He raised his brows. “You’re coming as my mate. Not ripping apart competition is unnatural. I should have destroyed every other contender for your affection before making you mine.”

I scowled at him. “You’re saying your pack will think you’re weird if Vervain comes along? Not like the owl thing, or the moon goddess thing is weird, but not killing Vervain is? He went to Singsong and convinced you to come here. How can you be jealous of him?”

Max walked up to me, close, too close, so close that I could feel the heat of him throbbing against my skin. He touched my face, the barest brush of his fingers, before he lowered his hand. “I have always been jealous of him. I always will be.” He turned and strode off, leaving me with Vervain, the fairy he was so jealous of.

Well, that made absolutely no sense. You don’t just leave your girl with the other guy. Unless you’re crazy like a werewolf with four-part personality dissonance. He should turn it into a song. The song of Max. And I’d sing it for him and really break some ears.