Page 22 of Eye of the Hurricane (Weathering Doves Harbor #2)

Katherine

A few hours later, I’m putting on the finishing touches to my makeup while Ares is still sound asleep on the couch. There’s a soft pink to his cheeks and a calmness blankets his face.

Sometimes it feels like we move through the world in entirely different ways. He has this inherent grounded energy about him. I, on the other hand, feel like I’m the farthest thing from grounded. I’ve been all gas, no breaks since I was a kid.

The exhaustion of staying up half the night is starting to settle in.

I take it upon myself to brew a second espresso shot into my coffee this morning.

Dark roast, double espresso, and caramel drizzle; the perfect blend to keep me happy and awake.

Is that why I feel like there are bees buzzing about in my veins? Maybe, but that’s besides the point.

Maybe it’s the caffeine or maybe I’m still riding the high of last night. There’s just this overwhelming feeling that today is going to be a great day. I’m standing a little straighter, and my chin is a little higher .

On my way out the door, I consider turning around and waking Ares up.

I tell myself that it’s so he’s on time but really, it’s because I’d like a small dose of his face to start my day.

But, I decide to let him sleep. I shoot him a message reminding him to lock up on his way out as I quietly close the door behind me.

As soon as I’m out of the house and on the road, I have this uncomfortable feeling settling in my chest, quickly putting a damper on my great mood.

I run through my to-do list in my head. Yes, I keep a mental copy as well.

It’s not a problem, it’s efficient. I know I’ve checked everything off, but I can’t shake the feeling.

Like I left something at home or I’m missing something.

But then it dawns on me—it’s Ares I’m missing.

That thought alone has me panicking the entire drive to campus.

This was supposed to be a fake relationship, convenient for not getting caught up in my little white lie. But the way it feels leaving this morning? That f eels very, very real. A lot more real than what I signed up for.

The worst part is, there’s no one to blame but myself. I knew I was playing with fire. I just thought I had this whole thing under control. I thought if we agreed to keep things casual, it would be fine. I see now that it was stupid to think I had control over this.

It’s one thing to face that I might care about him more than I intended to. It’s a complete other to slam into the realization that I don’t have control over any of this. Control is the one thing I’ve held on to my entire life. To watch it slip through my fingers in real time is destabilizing.

I start trying to talk myself down from the rising anxiety.

This is fine. Everything is fine . I’ll just talk to him, we’ll figure it out.

I could say a lot of things about Ares and the way he drives me insane.

But I can’t ignore how easy it is to talk to him.

Maybe missing him doesn’t even mean anything.

I’m just not used to missing anyone but Luna .

I groan, dragging my hands down my face. It’s the first day of classes, and I’m here in staff parking, just thinking myself in circles. I turn off my car, attempt to shake the nerves loose one last time, and head into the athletics building.

On my walk inside, my phone rings in my purse. When I check it, it’s my mom. I quickly decline the call and shove it back into my purse. Nope . I do not have time for that today. Today will be a good day.

The quiet chatter in the halls that I was used to with the summer crowd is now loud and abrasive as the new semester’s students bombard the building.

I weave through the crowds, finally making my way into Jacob’s office.

He’s not here yet, which means I have a moment to sit down and gather myself.

I let out a sigh of relief when I sit on the couch, my shoulders drooping.I can hear the boys in the locker room from here but somehow, their rowdiness has become a comforting sound over the years.

Jacob turns the corner into his office suddenly, clearly in a rush, and looks at me with a worried face.

“Are you ready?” he asks, sitting down across from me.

“Ready for…” I trail off, hoping he’ll fill in the gap. The increasingly worried look on his face has me breaking a sweat.

“Please tell me you saw the email,” he pleads.

Shit. I definitely did not see whatever email he’s talking about.

“I arranged for The Sea Dragons’ PR manager, Mateo Palmer, to come meet with us.” If I was just a little more self aware, I might piece together that there’s more. Instead, I’m like a giddy little kid.

“Jacob, that’s fantastic! Whe—” he cuts me off.

“Today,” he starts, pulling his lip between his teeth. “Like… Now-ish.” He flashes me a sheepish smile.

If he was my brother, I would leap across his desk and tackle him. Demand he tell me why he wouldn’t call when he didn’t hear back from me.

“He’ll be here anytime. I was hoping you saw the note and prepped,” he says.

My heart sinks even further. I didn’t see the note. Between camping and being sick, my inbox was the last thing on my mind.

“I’m so sorry, I went camping this weekend. I didn’t check my email,” I explain.

“If I had seen it, I would’ve…” I shake my head, the weight of disappointment falling over me.

“I shouldn’t have gone out of town so close to the beginning of the semester.

I’m really sorry,” I stammer and stumble over my words, looking for the right ones to explain myself.

I come up short, there’s nothing to say.

“Katherine, you’re not in any trouble. I’m the one who told you to find a work life balance. Honestly, this is on me. I assumed that you’d see it because you’re always checking your email outside of hours. I shouldn’t have made plans that depended on that being the case,” he explains.

It should make me feel better. At the very least, it should be a relief that I’m not in trouble. I don’t feel relieved, though. Not really. Not when he’s right. I never would have missed that email before. Jacob should’ve been able to depend on me seeing it because, normally, I would .

And I can only think of one thing that’s changed. Me and Ares.

There’s a spiral to be had there and I know it’ll be waiting for me, but I don’t have time for it right now.

“What can we do to get ready?” Just as I ask, my phone pings in my pocket. I already know who it is, and I absolutely cannot face him right now. “Go over the new PR plan and make a list of things you’ve learned from your time interning with me.”

I try to ignore the message burning a hole in my pocket and take up every single minute I have with Jacob to prepare for our meeting.

Ares

Want to do something tonight?

Katherine

Bad day. Can’t.

Ares

Want me to come over and help you unwind?

Katherine

No. I need to focus.

Ares

Talk to me?

Katherine

Can’t. Busy.

I manage to keep my chin high the entirety of the walk to my car but the moment my butt hits the drivers seat, my body collapses against it. I slump my head against the steering wheel and attempt to will myself not to cry.

Tears sting in my eyes and I blink them away. Still, a stray few slip down the side of my face and drip down my neck.

My phone buzzes in my purse next to me and I pull it out to check it. The universe must be playing some kind of sick joke on me or something. My mom is calling me again.

I figure between being up since two in the morning, not being prepared for work, and coming to the realization that maybe I bit off more than I could chew with Ares, why not put the cherry on top?

“Hi, Momma,” I say, pulling myself together. I consider for a moment that she might catch the sniffle or defeat in my tone. Then I remember it’s my mother I’m talking to. She wouldn’t notice even if I wanted her to.

“Katherine, baby, you haven’t forgotten about the wedding, have you?” Had I forgotten it? No. Had I conveniently put it in the back of my mind until right now? Yep. I can always count on her for a little salt in the wound.

“No, I remember,” I assure her. I turn the key in the ignition and blast the AC, saving myself from the scalding air surrounding me.

“You know, I haven’t forgotten about that boyfriend you told me about. I expect to meet him before the wedding, assuming he’s still in attendance.” Her tone is filled with both expectation and snark.

“I don’t know, Momma. It’s complicated. I’ll do what I can.”

“It’s what I think, isn’t it?” For a single second, I think I’m caught in my lie .

“Huh?”

“I told you a hundred times, Katherine. You can’t be a wife and have that career. That’s what this is, isn’t it?”

“No,” I lie. Although she’s not wrong, it’s not the whole story. There’s more to it than just career or Ares. What Ares and I have is fake. Except the hookups, those are real. Very real.

“Well, whatever you’ve done wrong with him, fix it. Women are—” I cut her off. The bitter lump in my throat can’t bare to hear her say it.

“Wives and mothers, I know.” I think the part that hurts the most about this all, is that my mother might be right. Not that women are wives and mothers, I know we’re so much more. But I’m beginning to think I only have room for career or relationships, not both.

“I’m only tough on you because I want what’s best for you,” she says. It doesn’t feel that way. Especially when every time she says these things, it’s a dagger in my chest.

“Is there something you needed? I’m kind of in a rush today,” I lie, again. It’s not a full lie, I was in a rush today. The rush is now over, though, and my couch is screaming my name.

“Don’t be a brat,” she spits.

“I have to go,” I snap. I hang up the phone before she gets the chance to insult me further.

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. The lack of support from my mother on bad days is a much easier pill to swallow than on good days. This—today—was expected.

I don’t let myself fall apart in my car. I wait until I’m in the comfort of my own apartment like the strong, driven woman I am. The moment I shut the door behind me, I let the tears fall .

Because strong, driven women cry too.

I drop my keys and purse on the kitchen counter. There is no better remedy for the tenseness in my body than the sound of thousand dollar wine splashing in a glass.

Except this time, that same satisfaction doesn’t bloom in my chest when it slides down my throat. Now I just feel sad… with fermented grapes?