Page 22 of Extraordinary Quests for Amateur Witches

The twins hadn’t really spoken since their spat at Hattie’s. Briar’s words still stung whenever Kieran played them back in his mind: You, on the other hand, barely know anything about magic.

At that moment, Briar lifted her head, noticing Kieran lingering outside. She had been reading a book with a yellow-eyed woman on the cover. At the sight of him, Briar jumped, closing the book as if she’d been caught doing something illegal.

“Oh. You’re awake.” Briar put the book down, then gestured at Kieran’s throat as he took a seat on one of the green velvet couches facing her. “Do you want to…sit? Your, uh, strangle marks look better.”

Kieran couldn’t help but snort at her crass description of his wounds. “Thanks. Icing them really did help—”

Before he could finish, Briar burst out, “Also, I’m sorry.”

Kieran blinked. “Oh.”

“For this morning,” she clarified. She kept her gaze focused elsewhere, careful not to meet her brother’s eyes.

“I was a jerk. I just—I was really worried about you. After seventeen years apart, the thought of losing you to some lake monster was…a lot for me to handle. I never had any kind of blood family I cared about before you.”

That gave Kieran a moment of pause. Instantly, the image of his mother floating in the lake came back to him, and his expression fell.

He always did his best not to bring up the past with Briar, worried that it might stir up bad emotions.

After all, she’d had it worse than he had, being raised by their abusive aunt, Wrenlin, in the woods outside Gabriel’s Edge.

Even if Kieran’s childhood hadn’t been great, it didn’t hold a candle to what Briar had survived.

Still, he didn’t know who else he could really talk to about what he’d seen in the lake.

He was growing closer to Sebastian, but that felt like a lot to dump on someone he’d just met.

And talking about mom stuff with Delilah was tough sometimes—not because she wasn’t a good listener or sympathetic (she was very much both), but because her own mother was such a lovely person, it felt…

wrong, somehow, to bring up the subject with her.

As if he’d be angling for pity when he wasn’t.

So, despite their unspoken rule not to bring it up, Kieran said, “Speaking of, um, upbringings…I saw our mother down there. In the lake.”

To his relief, Briar didn’t immediately wince as she usually did when someone mentioned their parents. Instead, she chewed her lower lip for a moment before saying, “I assume it wasn’t really her?”

“No—definitely not.” Kieran stared down into his tea, watching as a few tiny flower petals that had escaped the bag sank to the bottom of the mug.

After a moment, he decided to take a seat on the couch next to his twin as he continued: “I think Seaweed made a vision of her to try to keep me down there. For a minute, I fell for it too. That’s why I have all these marks—the kelp tried to grab me. ”

There was a long pause as Briar mulled over his words. She rubbed her thumb over the corner of her book, her expression far away.

Finally, she took a breath. She didn’t make eye contact as she asked, “Do you miss her?”

That was a loaded question. But then again, they’d already waded this far into the discussion—no point backing out now.

Kieran took a sip of tea, then shrugged.

“It depends on the day, honestly. I never miss our father, or really anyone else in the family barring Adelaide and a few cousins I used to play with when I was little. Father was gone nearly all the time doing business as the head of the family. When he was home, he only made me feel inadequate. I wasn’t strong or powerful or, well, masculine enough for him.

He preferred to avoid me. But Mother…she and I were always close. Or, at least, her version of close.”

Briar’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean, ‘her version’?”

Of course Briar wouldn’t know. She hadn’t grown up with their mother. She’d only met her once after their birth, and it was the night that Delilah broke the curse. She hadn’t spent the first seventeen years of her life constantly navigating their mother’s moods and trying to win her favor.

Not as Kieran had.

He sighed. “Our mother…Well, her mind doesn’t work like yours or mine does. I don’t think it’s intentional. I suspect it’s how she was born. She’s always been preoccupied with herself, first and foremost.”

When Briar cocked an eyebrow at him, Kieran continued: “So, for example, from our mother’s point of view, you and I weren’t her children.

We were just…tools she could use as bragging rights, I guess.

Which meant that when you were born with your half of the curse, I think she treated you the way she did because she considered you…

imperfect. Like your existence meant she was imperfect too.

Meanwhile, I was doomed to die, and therefore I helped her become a sympathetic martyr to the family.

If she could pretend you didn’t exist and focus on loving me, then everything would be fine. ”

“But…that’s not real love. That’s just using you as a prop for her own self-interest.”

“I…Yeah. I guess that’s true.” Kieran set his tea down and met Briar’s eyes. “When I was down there in the lake, the vision of her apologized for how she had treated me. That’s how I knew it couldn’t be her. Our mother has never, and will never, apologize.”

His voice grew quieter. “Even if I wish she would. Part of me misses her version of love, even if it wasn’t good.”

Briar nodded. “As a child, you’ll take any love you’re given.” She rubbed at her eyes, and for a moment, Kieran wondered if she was holding back tears. “I felt the same way about Wrenlin when I was little. I…I get it.”

“I’m not sure it’s fair to compare,” Kieran said. He pulled his knees up onto the couch and sat cross-legged. “Wrenlin was a monster. At least our mother cared about me, in her own twisted way.”

Briar shook her head. “Trauma isn’t a competition, Kier. What happened to both of us is wrong. Just because it was different doesn’t mean that it didn’t royally fuck us both up. You’re allowed to be mad. I certainly am—on both our accounts.”

“It really isn’t fair, is it?”

“No, it isn’t fair, and that’s what gets me.

” Briar sat up straighter, and Kieran could sense that what she was about to say was something that she’d been holding in for a long, long time.

“You know what makes me feel like a terrible person? Just how jealous I feel when I see other people who have what I don’t.

People with normal families where love isn’t a commodity.

It’s why I can’t talk about stuff like this with Delilah. ”

Kieran’s eyebrows shot up. He’d always pictured her and Delilah’s relationship as perfect—they never fought and always seemed happy. But then again, he was seeing it from the outside.

“I know, I know, it’s terrible.” Briar ran her hands through her hair.

“I shouldn’t be jealous of my own girlfriend for having a mother who loves her unconditionally.

But sometimes I see them together and all I can think is Why didn’t I get that?

Didn’t I deserve it? And I know that makes me a bad person—”

“I don’t think it does,” Kieran cut in. He met his sister’s eyes.

“We did deserve it. Honestly, that’s part of why I miss our mom.

It’s not so much that I miss her as much as I miss the idea of her.

The idea of a parent who loves unconditionally.

Coming to terms with the fact that we’ll never have that is… horrible, if I’m being honest.”

“It is! It’s fucking horrible! And it’s so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been through it!

” Briar was nearly laughing now, hands thrown in the air.

“I can’t believe we didn’t talk about this sooner.

I feel like I’ve been sitting here for months hating myself for being so bitter, because I didn’t feel like I could talk to you without dredging up the past.”

“Me too.” The back of Kieran’s throat tightened. He took a deep breath, staving off the tears that threatened to push through. “I guess that’s another thing they took away from us, isn’t it? We never got to be real siblings. But at least we can now, right?”

“Right.” Briar nodded, rubbing her eyes.

Kieran wasn’t sure he’d seen her cry more than once or twice, so it was a little jarring to see her tearing up.

“Not to be all gross and sappy or whatever but…I’m really glad you ran away from home, Kieran.

That must have taken a lot of guts, all things considered. Ultimately, you saved both of us.”

“Delilah definitely did a lot of the heavy lifting there,” Kieran said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Come on, give yourself a little more credit. Delilah wouldn’t have even met us without you. You’re more capable than you think.”

Kieran mock-gasped. “Was that a compliment ? Since when do you give compliments?”

“When they’re earned—so don’t get used to it.” Briar stood up and held out her arms. “I’m going to offer you a hug now, but only if you swear never to speak of it.”

Kieran got up and threw his arms around his twin, squeezing her. “Thanks, Briar. I really appreciate it.”

“Likewise.” She let go of him and then, seeming not to know what to do with herself, punched him a little harder than needed in the arm. “Just don’t get used to this corny stuff. It’s not my style. Maybe your new boyfriend can help you with that.”

Kieran blinked. “New…boyfriend?”

“Oh, come on, I have eyes.” Briar used her thumb to gesture toward the upper deck. “Sebastian? The guy who can’t stop staring at you all the time? Honestly, it’s hard to tell if he wants to kiss you or take a bite out of you.”

Kieran immediately felt his cheeks turn pink. “What? No, no—I barely know Sebastian. And, sure, he’s very handsome and all that, but I have a boyfriend.”

“You mean the one who basically dumped you and made you walk home in a blizzard all alone so you got mugged outside our apartment? Be realistic, Kier.”

“He couldn’t have known that was going to happen!

And, sure, it was a little…sudden. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to give up on him!

” He paused for a moment, his mind unhelpfully conjuring up the image of Sebastian catching him while he swooned like an old-timey maiden.

He quickly shook his head to dislodge the thought.

“Ash and I dated for six months. He was my first kiss, the first person I ever thought about sleeping with—”

Briar’s blue eyes widened. “You never slept with Ash?”

Kieran didn’t think it was possible, but his face managed to feel even hotter. “Well—I mean, I—uh—”

“I’m not shaming you. I’m just surprised.”

“I guess I wasn’t ready to take that step.” Kieran felt as if he was about to fold in on himself like the world’s most pathetic origami crane. “Maybe that makes me…immature or whatever. But I was scared I’d do something wrong and then Ash would break up with me and—”

“You know what? That’s none of my business.” Briar reached out and patted his shoulder. “Do what you feel is right. Just…don’t get so caught up trying to glue together the pieces of something broken that you forget to look around and see what’s right in front of you.”

Kieran frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re smart—you’ll figure it out.” Briar grabbed her book off the couch and gave Kieran a nod. “I’m heading to bed. But…thanks for this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.”

Still stuck on what she’d said, Kieran agreed, “Likewise.”

With that, Briar bid him good night and retreated up the stairs. Slowly, Kieran sank back down on the couch and held his cooled cup of tea between his hands.

I, he decided, have a lot to think about.