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FIVE

PAUL

I paced by the door for the third time, and for the third time I chickened out and kept walking.

I’d get to the end of the living room and turn back.

I was never good at the whole “sharing my feelings” thing.

Maybe that was because I never had anyone to share them with growing up.

I never knew how close family could be until I met John, and then Blackstone, and then Shadows.

Keith appeared with his phone to his ear.

I listened and used him as a temporary distraction.

“I’m not sure what’s going on, Frank, but this Juliet woman seems to be flaking on her shifts, leaving Liza to hold down the fort.

” He paused. “I’ve only met her once. I didn’t get a bad feeling, but she asked a lot of questions—” He stopped mid-sentence to listen.

“Just about me and the kids. I think she was trying to be friendly, but…” I tuned him out.

The distraction wasn’t working, so I headed back toward her office.

“You’re going to have to replace those floorboards if you don’t come inside. Come on and join me already!” Ivy peered at me from behind her glasses. She lifted her son Hudson off the floor as Olivia appeared.

“I’m ready to take him for a walk,” she announced to Ivy

“That’s wonderful. I can’t thank you enough, Olivia.” Ivy smiled. “Do your best to wear him out.”

“I will. Have a good session, Uncle Paul.” She took the little guy’s hand. “Hudson, I spotted some bunnies near the horses! Want to go see?” He shrieked with excitement as Ivy kissed his chubby cheek.

Ivy chuckled. “If he needs changing, take him to his dad.”

“Copy that.” Olivia waved as they left.

I cleared my throat and stepped inside her office. It was white and modern, but it oddly put me at ease right away. “Take a seat.”

“Yeah.” I sat on the edge of the sofa and flexed my palms together, hoping to relieve a little tension.

“Is this about your son?” She always dove right in. Ivy was brilliant at being blunt and straight to the point. That was how we operated here, and that was why she was such a great fit for the house.

“It is, yes.” The heel of my shoe tapped the floor as I sat there and eyed up the moody housecat.

He basked in the long fibers of the shag rug.

His legs were flung open, and his manliness was on full display.

I was still unsure if he was trying to impress but had to admit the cat had something to show off. You do you, little guy .

“I’m so sorry, Paul.” Her comment drew me back to her. “I didn’t know Talya, of course, but I wish I had. Losing her must be hard on you. If you loved her, then she was a very special person.”

“She was.” I rubbed my nose as a wave of emotion ran through me. “But even if she was alive, it wouldn’t make a difference for either of us. We come from two very different worlds.”

“You do,” she agreed. “But that’s never stopped a heart from wanting what it wants.” She inched her glasses up her nose as she leaned back to study me. “You and Keith have a lot in common. How goes the dating pool?”

I laughed at that. “Shit, at my age, I’m lucky if a woman even looks in my direction.”

“You’re in your early forties,” she drawled sarcastically, “and don’t make me remind you I’m not that far off.” I grinned, and she joined me. “Seems to me you were approached at Zack’s the other night.”

“Those were girls, not women.”

“Fair.” She scribbled on her tablet.

“Talya wrote me a letter,” I blurted as I tossed it on the table between us. “I haven’t had the balls to break the seal on it yet. It’s crazy because we leave tonight, and there could be something crucial in there, but I just don’t know if I can open that door again.”

“Your head must be reeling over all this.” She shook her head in sympathy.

“Yeah, she was so important to me, but the circumstances made it impossible. I had to push her away countless times, and that last time—” I let out a breath.

“We still crossed paths now and then, and I couldn’t help myself.

I’d give in, and now look.” I stood and dug the heels of my palms into my aching eyes as I paced.

“I mean, this entire thing is fucking crazy. I never even knew I had a son, and now he’s just lost his mother.

He’s God knows where in Mexico and apparently being hunted by the Cartel.

I’ve been thrown into a race to get back someone who is half me before something terrible happens to him.

I have to get my son.” Just to say the word son felt strange in my mouth, but I knew deep inside I wanted him with me.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “this entire thing is fucking crazy. And you’re right.

You, Cole, John, and Keith all have to keep your heads on straight.

This is a deeply personal mission for all of you.

In saying that, Paul, if you had more information to help with your game plan, wouldn’t you use it? ” She eyed the letter.

“Of course.” I chewed the inside of my cheek as I looked at it.

She leaned forward and slid the envelope toward me. “Read the letter. Let Talya help you save your son. That was, after all, why she sent it. She knew you’d save him from the life she never wanted for him.”

I still hesitated to reach for the envelope.

“Let me tell you, after the things I’ve heard about Grim Gates from our friends, Tess and Kenna, he’s not a man who would stick his neck out and track you down if he didn’t believe Talya had something important to tell you.

I hate to spin it this way, but you’re a father now.

So, man up, grab your balls, and read the damn thing. ”

“Grab my balls?” I laughed, happy to shake off some of the stress. “Did they teach you that in school, Doc?”

“Nah, that was all Doc Roberts.” She beamed as she stood. “I’m going to go get some coffee, and you’re going to read.”

“Actually,” I moved to block her path, “could you stay? I mean, I’m not trying to make it awkward for you, but I really don’t want to read this alone.” I picked it up and handed it to her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I spent a decade living a lie down in Mexico, I couldn’t share any of my real thoughts or show who I really was.

All those, ah, vulnerable moments and the like.

I had no one I could trust. I missed my brothers here, and it wrecked me to know they thought I was dead.

Since I’ve been back among my family—” I cleared the lump from my throat.

“Well, let’s just say, now that I’ve got a son, I need to start opening myself up to people, and I want to start with this. ”

“All right, then.” She sat back down, and I eased myself onto the sofa. “But if you want me to stop, just say the word.”

“Yeah.” I waved at her to begin. She ripped the side, blew a breath to separate the paper, and slid it out.

“Bear with me. It’s a mix of English and Spanish.” I knew Ty had been helping teach her some Spanish. She was quite good at it already. She had this.

“Eric, not to sound cliché, but if you’re reading this letter, it means something has happened to me.

It also means I can tell you the truth. I have entrusted Grim with this letter, and I know he will do as I asked.

First and foremost, I’m sure he told you that he and I were never anything but good friends.

He helped build a barrier between me and my family.

My parents are not who they were when I was young.

The vast corruption that blankets our beloved home has its claws in them now. I barely recognize them anymore.

“I had planned on leaving and forging my own path, but my heart was always with you.

I always knew there was something different about you, but I could never put my finger on it.

Maybe that was what drew me to you in the first place.

I could see a goodness inside that heart you so desperately hid from others.

I know now you pushed me away to protect me from whatever it was you were hiding.

“Which brings me to this. That night in the bar, on our last night together, we created something incredibly special. We will have a child, Eric. I don’t know what sex it is, but our baby should be here sometime in April.

“If something has truly happened to me, please, Eric, you must save our child from the Cartel life. I beg you with all my heart to do this. I’m going to believe that the man I knew would die to save his own child from such a path.

So, here is what you need to know. A copy of the baby’s birth records will be left here.

” Ivy turned the handwritten letter around to show me there was an address.

“Up until the baby is born, I’ll be living with my cousin from grade school, then my best friend, Selena, in Mexico City, but after I deliver, we’re moving to Tabasco.

But if I think we’re in danger, I’ll head to my favorite place.

Remember that trip we took when we first met, and we stayed with the one-winged dragon? That’s where I’ll go.”

I saw Ivy glance over at me, but I shrugged as I desperately tried to pull up that old memory. It just didn’t want to show itself.

“Eric, it is my heart’s wish that our child will be kept out of the Cartel world.

The baby will have a much better life with you.

You need to get to our child before my parents do.

This baby will be the first and only grandchild for them, so you know what that means.

It also means there will be others who would take pleasure in getting hold of our child for their own terrible reasons. You must get there first!

“I’m so sorry we could never be together, you and me. How sad life allowed us to meet, only to continually rip us apart. At least something wonderful came from our love. Give our baby a life full of adventure, love, and safety. It’s up to you now.

“Forever yours, Talya.”

Ivy reached for a tissue and dabbed her eyes while my panic for time started to set in.