Page 24 of Extended Bridge (Passionate Beats #2)

Chapter Twelve

“ S hh,” Bennett croons. “Talk to me.” His arm secures me at his side, not allowing me to move an inch.

Keeping my eyes closed, I ask, “Is the ice helping?”

His chin bumps my head as he nods. “Do you want to hear what’s helping me more?” I remain silent, so he plows forward. “You. How you see me as a person, not just the lead singer of UC. You want me as a woman wants a man.”

This man, naked, holding me in place, is getting under my skin so deeply I toss all caution to the wind, no longer caring about ethical rules. “I’ve never done this before.”

“What? Get so caught up in passion you don’t care about anything or anyone other than sharing our bodies like an unending encore?”

I half-smile. Into his ripped chest, I admit, “Sort of.” Sucking in air, I disengage from the cocoon he’s wrapped me in. “You make me lose control.”

“Who needs that anyway?” My face remains neutral, so he continues, “We’re different, you and me. You crave order and rules while I do my best to avoid them.”

“It’s more than that. You thrive in chaos, while I wilt.”

“Hey.” He tilts my chin. “I’ve heard we can do all things in moderation. Some rules are good. Some disarray can lead to an exciting adventure. You don’t have to be as buttoned up as you have been. I also don’t have to flout authority at every turn.”

“That’s simply how we’re wired, Bennett.”

“My point exactly.” His lips cover mine in a soft kiss. “Guess what? It’s okay for us to be a little different than we have been.” His shoulder rises. “Well, I kinda like making my own rules, but I know I should stick to at least some of the ones the powers above me hand down.”

“I can’t imagine anyone being the boss of you.”

“Well, the label likes to think they can plot out my life. The PR team prefers I color within their lines as well.” Two fingers rub over his nose. “The meeting today gave me pause.”

I don’t want to rehash what Darren’s mother spewed. “Because of the warning she issued?”

He doesn’t have to ask to which “she” I’m referring. “No.” He brings me against his chest again. “Because of the scholarship we’re going to set up. I want to make this succeed. In order for that to happen, I’ll need to follow the rules.”

“That you will. It’s for a good cause.”

“Wanna know what else is for a good cause? You letting go sometimes. I promise to be the one to catch you if your safety net disappears, but I doubt it’ll come to that.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know—I thrive in structure.”

“Because of all the bad things that have happened in your life. Your grandmother and Darren both dying before they should have. You crave control over the uncontrollable, I get it. I just don’t want rules to suffocate you and keep you from having fun and letting your hair down a little bit.”

I force my lips to tip upward. “Like with you?”

His eyebrows bounce. “I wouldn’t say no.”

My hand finds the ice pack. “See. This is why there are rules, Bennett. The doctor told you not to have sex for another week and look what happened when you broke his rule. You got up to a level nine.”

“Seven,” he corrects. Riiight . His palm lands over mine. “Worth it. Besides, we didn’t violate his rule. We didn’t have sex.”

I roll my eyes. “I had three orgasms. You had one. I’d say we had sex.”

The gleam in his green eyes is unmistakable. “Were they good orgasms?”

I punch his shoulder. “You know they were.”

“Good isn’t great.”

“Fine. They were great orgasms. Better?”

“But—mind-blowing, earth-shattering, body-melting orgasms?”

My phone rings.

I hold up my finger. “Don’t get too carried away there, Rock Star. Not all parts were involved.”

As I send Ma’s call to voicemail, he gives a single word reply. “Yet.” He pauses. “Telemarketer?”

“Nope. Ma. I couldn’t answer her while we’re both naked and talking about orgasms.”

“And she’s smart, too!” He kisses me again, as if I earned a reward. “Call her back later. When you’re dressed in a parka.”

I shake my head. This man is incorrigible. From out of nowhere, a yawn overtakes my entire being.

“Nap time,” Bennett declares. “I don’t care if it’s midday, there’s a rule that you have to sleep when your body requires it. We both know how much you adore rules.”

“Oh there is such a rule, is there? I’ve never heard this one before.”

He nods his head. “Definitely. I heard it from a grey-haired sleep doctor on late night television. Haven’t you ever watched him?”

I giggle. “No, can’t say I’ve ever heard of him. What station?”

“All of them. He’s a frequent guest on the late-night shows, don’t you know. The crew loves him because he encourages them to get more sleep.” He opens his mouth and yawns. I’m sure it’s a fake. “Now it’s our turn to listen to the old doctor.”

I can’t resist this playful side of Bennett, so I force myself into work mode.

Standing, I put the ice pack back into the freezer.

When I return to the bedroom, the next thing I know, I’m horizontal.

Muscular arms anchor me against an amazing man.

My head tips back. “Thank you, Bennett. You knew I was ready to bolt, but you didn’t let me. ”

“From now on, I’m not going to let you escape due to some crazy thoughts in your head. You’ve got me for the long haul, Jenna Westfield.”

I kiss his chest. God help me, but I like the sound of this.

“Good job with these exercises, Bennett.” I adjust my ponytail and ease him up to a sitting position. “Let me take this.” For the second time today, I remove the ice pack from his thigh and return it to the freezer.

“Thanks.”

After our nap, he went to sound check and then returned to his bus for another PT session. “Are you ready to heat up the stage tonight in Philadelphia?”

“You tell me, Miss Physical Therapist. I promise not to pull an Elvis, but I should be able to rile up the crowd.”

“I have no doubt.” I toss the towel into a hamper I secured for our sessions. “There. Back to normal in here. I’ll bring this hamper back to my bus and you won’t even know I’ve been here.”

He holds up a finger. “One. I never want to forget you’ve been here. Two. I have more room in here than you do, so leave the hamper where it is. Three. I don’t want you to go to another tour bus.”

“You’re very sweet, but I think it’s for the best. Especially with all the media prowling around.”

He waves his hand. “Fuck ‘em. ”

“Such a Darren thing to say. Except he had the ability to fly under the radar, for the most part. You, not so much.”

He plops onto the couch and pats the cushion next to him. I should go back to my bus and change. “I need to get dressed for the concert. Can’t exactly show up like this, after all.” I motion to my leggings and tunic top.

“You have time.” He swallows. “I think we have one more thing to talk about.” He examines my reaction. “Darren.”

After what happened earlier on the stage, and on his bus, I’m ready. “Guess we need to exorcise his ghost, huh?”

“In a way. I wish you didn’t blame yourself for his overdose.”

“I wish the same for you,” I protest.

His finger covers my lips. “I want to thank you. I was worried, at first, about how you’d be able to see me as Bennett and not as Darren’s bandmate.”

“I’d never?—”

“I know. You never have. I want to tell you I appreciate your seeing me for me. You know about my mother. Hell, you’ve even met Lissa, who refused to give it up in high school because she was saving it for marriage, yet was crawling all over me the other day like a long-lost lover.

” He shudders. “You’re aware of my unwitting role in Darren’s death.

And you still let me touch you. It means more than I can express. ”

His honesty washes over me. It’s time for me to share some of my own truths.

“Being with Darren was exhilarating and intoxicating. Flying to meet you guys, getting backstage passes. Being treated like his VIP. I was high on the life.” I flick a piece of lint off my leggings.

“I did love him. I wouldn’t have had sex with him if I didn’t. ”

“I understand.”

I doubt he does. “I also remember watching the band back then. All the groupies. The innumerable number of women you each took into whatever rooms or alcoves were available. I’m not wired that way.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I believe you. You did change Darren in that respect, you know. Once you two were dating, that was it. When women approached him, he’d show them your picture.”

My palm flies in front of my face. “Oh. I didn’t know that. Well, he told me he’d show my photo, but not about the other.” Back then I didn’t want to know if he was faithful, so I pretended to be an ostrich and never asked.

Bennett nods, dropping his chin to his chest. “I think what we have is special. I want to explore where this relationship could go. But I don’t know how to compete with a ghost.”

Mindful of his injury, I restrain myself from straddling his lap. Instead, I rub my palm over his tatted arm. “You’re not in competition. I did love Darren.” I catch his gaze. “But?—”

My heart races.

“But it never was the way it is between us. With you, I can give you physical therapy the same way I helped him heal. Only, you throw your all into the exercises and challenge yourself to improve, following my suggestions. Darren also was successful at therapy, but I never got the feeling he exerted more effort than was minimally required.” I turn my head.

“He had the help of pain meds, on which he relied too much. Obviously.”

Bennett shifts in his seat.

I don’t let him say anything. “It’s more than that, though. I was younger and your rocker lifestyle is way too easy to get caught up in. Once Darren rejoined the tour, we only spent snippets of time together. I wanted more from him than he was able to give emotionally, which I overlooked.”

“We were living the high life,” he starts to explain.

“I know. Jetting from place to place, staying in fancy hotels, being catered to by everyone was new at the time. I understood it, even enjoyed your lives vicariously.”

Dare I share this next part with Bennett?

If we’re going to have a shot, he needs to know.

“Truth is, I was beginning to want to go to a deeper level with Darren. Dig deeper. Whenever I tried to bring up a topic—whether it be about his absentee father or my grandmother or future goals, whatever—he’d change the subject to something lighter.

We were total opposites. It was starting to wear on me. ”

“Oh, Jenna.” He opens his arms and I lean against him.

“I loved him, Bennett, I did. But I felt it was more superficial than I needed, and he didn’t—or couldn’t—dive deeper. He was very happy to hide behind his jokes. He excelled at living large.” I take a deep breath. “Guess that’s really what killed him in the end.”

Bennett kisses my forehead. “Darren was full of life, always looking for whatever was next. Next song or next experience or next city. I never knew him to be too introspective.”

“Agreed.”

“I know he was smitten with you. Like I am.” Bennett’s lips meet mine for a brief second. “I need you to tell me I’m not competing against his long shadow.”

“You’re not. I don’t care what the media or even Darren’s mother say, you’re a very different man than he was. I loved his attitude”—as soon as I say “love,” Bennett’s body tenses. I gaze into his eyes. “You have to admit he had a joie de vivre unlike most other people.”

“Yeah.”

Time to woman-up. I refuse to let this man slip from my fingers. I move so our thighs are touching. “As I said, he was my opposite in most respects. You. You’re a different man. More introspective. I think you’re harboring deeper pains than you’ve shared.”

Bennett’s head bounces backward, but his mouth remains closed.

“Tell me, if I asked you where your mother lives, would you answer me?”

I hear him audibly draw air into his body. “Yes.” He pauses. “She’s?—”

My fingers cover his lips. In a low tone, I say, “I didn’t ask where, only if you’d tell me.

Reveal this horrible pain you’ve been carrying around with you, all by yourself.

When you’re ready, please share. Until then, all that matters is you’d answer the question.

” I wait for what I’ve told him to sink in.

“Darren wouldn’t even acknowledge a problem.

I asked him, several times, to tell me about his father and he switched topics. Or cracked a joke. See the difference?”

He turns and brings his arms around my body, squeezing so hard my eyes water. I don’t free myself, because I need his strength as much as he needs mine.

“I would tell you anything, Jenna. All you need to do is ask.”

“I’d prefer you bring me inside on your own terms.”

We remain locked together. Darren kissed my heart on the stage this afternoon, and now I take this time to truly allow him to rest in peace.

He’ll always be part of me, urging me to grow professionally or help with another injury.

I’ve finally admitted out loud something I’d long buried—the fact we probably wouldn’t have made it as a couple.

Our personalities were too diametrically opposed.

He’d never share with me his deep truths, beyond the curated ones he disclosed to the whole world.

Nor did he show an interest in learning about mine.

Bennett, however, is the polar opposite. No matter what, he’ll answer all my questions, which makes me not want to ask. Rather, let him reveal them to me on his own time.

My eyes close. In the silence, I allow Darren to fly free.