Page 15 of Exorcise Me (Hotter than Hell)

The wait was excruciating. Through the heavy oak door, I could hear raised voices but couldn’t make out specific words. Occasionally, Father Oxley’s outraged tone rose above the others, followed by Father Finnegan’s calmer responses.

I paced the small room, trying to prepare myself for any outcome.

Excommunication seemed likely—not that it carried any legal weight in the modern world, but it would sever me from the community and institution that had shaped my entire adult life.

The loss would be significant, even with Lucien’s support.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the door opened. Father Finnegan stood there alone, his expression grave but not unkind.

“The Council has reached a decision,” he said, gesturing for me to follow him back into the Chapter Room.

The atmosphere had changed during my absence. Father Oxley looked thunderous, Father Yarrow thoughtful, and the other members wore expressions ranging from concern to resignation.

“Noah Callahan,” Father Finnegan began formally, once I was seated again. “This Council finds your current situation deeply troubling. Your relationship with a demonic entity represents a profound spiritual danger, regardless of your subjective experience of that relationship.”

My heart sank, though I’d expected nothing less.

“However,” he continued, surprising me, “your history of dedicated service and your evident sincerity cannot be dismissed. We are not prepared to excommunicate you outright, as some have suggested.”

Father Oxley made a noise of disapproval but remained silent.

“Instead,” Father Finnegan said, “we offer you a choice. You may undergo a period of spiritual cleansing—forty days of prayer, fasting, and guided reflection—after which you will be asked to renounce this relationship and recommit to your vows. If you do so, you will be welcomed back into full fellowship, though under supervision for a time.”

He paused, his eyes holding mine. “Alternatively, if you choose to maintain this… connection, you will be released from your vows as an exorcist. You will no longer represent this Seminary or the Church in any capacity.”

It was more generous than I’d expected—they were offering me a path back, a way to retain my position and purpose within the community that had been my home for years.

All I had to do was renounce Lucien. Declare our love a deception. Return to a worldview I now knew to be incomplete at best, harmfully inaccurate at worst.

“May I ask a question?” I said, my voice steady despite the emotions churning within me.

Father Finnegan nodded.

“If I choose the second path—if I’m released from my vows—would I be forbidden from helping people dealing with genuine spiritual disturbances? Would I be prevented from using the knowledge and skills I’ve developed here?”

The Council members exchanged glances. It was Father Yarrow who answered.

“We cannot control what you do as a private citizen,” he said carefully. “However, you would not have the Church’s authority or protection. You would be operating solely on your own recognizance, with all the spiritual risks that entails.”

I nodded, considering this. “And if I discovered, through my continued research and experience, insights about demonic entities that might benefit the Seminary’s understanding? Would those be welcomed?”

Father Oxley scoffed, but Father Finnegan quieted him with a look.

“The Seminary is always interested in substantiated research,” Father Finnegan said diplomatically. “Though it would be evaluated according to our established theological framework.”

In other words, they’d listen but likely dismiss anything that contradicted their existing beliefs. Still, it was something—a small opening for future dialogue.

“May I have time to consider?” I asked.

Father Finnegan nodded. “You have until sunrise tomorrow. Return then with your decision.” His eyes softened slightly. “I suggest you spend the time in prayer, Noah. True prayer, opening yourself to guidance beyond your own understanding.”

I stood, knowing the audience was over. “Thank you for this consideration. I will reflect carefully on my path forward.”

As I turned to leave, Father Finnegan spoke again. “Noah,” he said, his voice losing its formal tone. “Whatever you decide, know that I have always been proud to call you my student.”

The unexpected sentiment caught me off guard. I swallowed against the sudden tightness in my throat. “Thank you, Father. Your guidance has meant more to me than I can express.”

With that, I left the Chapter Room, walking through the Seminary’s familiar halls one last time—because despite the choice they’d offered, I already knew what my decision would be. I just needed to find the courage to embrace it fully.