Page 32 of Ever After End
CHAPTER 31
I t was a week before Elizabeth left the isolation of her room. Though she knew she distressed her host, she could not find the interest in joining the others, not even to watch over Jane, who could apparently well manage her own affairs, nor even to keep an eye on Mary, who visited with her in her bedroom each afternoon before dinner. Elizabeth had remained in their quarters since she had confronted Mr Darcy about Mr Bingley.
Unfortunately, when Elizabeth was extremely vexed or anxious, she suffered from megrims, and they disturbed her for much of the week. Jane was still miffed with her for her mistrust of Mr Bingley, and determined not to leave the party, nor to humour her sister’s concerns. Then there was also Elizabeth’s mortification by Mr Darcy.
If any other man had insulted her, she would have laughed. She would have moved on immediately, without caring what the man thought. Except that she quite obviously did care what Mr Darcy thought. She cared a great deal more than she wished to admit, and going downstairs to continue the farce of the house party in front of him, knowing that there was no other gentleman whom she wished to see there, was too much for Elizabeth, and the entire situation gave her a terrible headache. Her host visited her twice, and Elizabeth accepted some powders from the apothecary, but no other attention. She assured Mrs Darlington that the megrims would fade eventually, and was embarrassed by the worry she caused, for it was not in her nature to brood for so long.
There was, also to consider, the fact that when Elizabeth left Ever After End unmarried, she would eventually travel to Hunsford, which would substantiate Charlotte’s most recent insult, and she would be obliged to visit her cousin with her heart open to forgiving such a person. This weighed upon her more than her embarrassment with Mr Darcy, and she brooded upon her feelings regarding Charlotte excessively. She felt so much resentment and anger at her old friend, they were emotions she was unused to in such large doses, and she knew not how she would forgive her cousin’s wife. Elizabeth wished that she were in Meryton so that she might seek the counsel of Mr Abbot, but she had no expectation of visiting Longbourn before Christmas.
Mary had continued to enjoy the attentions of Colonel Gordon, until he had suddenly discovered an interest in the parson’s daughter, Miss Irving. It took two dances and an outing to Glastonbury Tor, all of which the Irvings attended, for Mrs Darlington to notice the man’s newfound interest, after which, the Irvings were invited to dine every night, and Miss Irving was invited to all of their activities. Mrs Darlington said that she had married off the local apothecary and the village solicitor’s daughter by similar means, and Mary told Elizabeth that her host had told Mr Irving, a widow, that he was next.
It was Mr Elwood who had helped spark Colonel Gordon’s interest in Miss Irving. Mr Elwood had inspired Mary to ask what those of the house party might do for the parish, and she and Miss Irving made plans to visit a few villagers and squatters' families that needed attention. Mr Elwood and Colonel Gordon wasted no time in offering their escort, and during the outing, Colonel Gordon had taken a shine to Miss Irving’s gentle and caring nature.
Jane and Elizabeth had mostly ignored each other after their words about Mr Bingley. Jane was rather cross with Elizabeth for not trusting her instincts, and for isolating herself upstairs, which drew unwanted attention to Jane and Mary while they were in company. Elizabeth was irritable with Jane because Elizabeth still believed that Mr Bingley was not to be trusted, and she had no wish to watch her elder sister be taken in by a rogue.
When Jane confided in Mr Bingley about Elizabeth’s worries, he had proven himself by marching to Mrs Darlington’s study, and writing her a bank draft for fifty pounds. Elizabeth told Jane that wasting fifty pounds was not a guarantee that a man was serious about anything but chasing skirts, which indeed, in a certain light, could be construed as seeking to pay for Jane’s approbation, if not seeking to procure something more sinister. Jane was outraged by Elizabeth’s opinion.
Finally Elizabeth, after sleeping and brooding until she thought she would go mad, then writing to her aunt, and pacing her room until she thought she would wear a hole in the carpet, acknowledged that she could not very well stay upstairs forever. A lady might occasionally be indisposed for an entire week, but anything longer would create a great deal of talk, and was unfair to her host and her sisters. She had only felt so out of sorts, fretting about Mr Darcy, Mr Bingley, Jane, and Charlotte Collins, that she could not bear to impose herself upon the rest of the party, lest she lose her temper and embarrass Jane and Mary even more.
She dined upstairs again tonight, but tomorrow, she would return downstairs and make her apologies to Mrs Darlington. She hoped perhaps that Mr Brentwood, Mr Cartwright, and Mr Whittaker would have found other ladies in her absence. She was perfectly happy spending the rest of the party lightly chaperoning Mary.
Hearing giggles in the shared parlour, she rose and donned her dressing gown and slippers. The first two nights that Elizabeth remained in her rooms, her sisters and the other ladies visited Miss Darcy’s and Miss Bates’s parlour, so that they would not disturb her, but when she did not return downstairs, their group began to frequent the Bennets’ parlour again. Miss Darcy and Miss Bates visited often, as well as Miss Dutton, and less frequently, Miss Crawford and Miss Bertram joined them as well.
Elizabeth had suffered enough of her own company, and when she met Mary, Miss Dutton, Miss Darcy, and Miss Bates in the parlour, she asked, “May I join you?”
“Of course, Lizzy!” said Mary. “Come, sit here by the window with me. I know you prefer the fresh air.”
“How do you feel, Elizabeth?” asked Miss Darcy. “Are you certain you are well?”
“I am not ill, Georgiana, but thank you. These last few days, I have been out of sorts. I received some correspondence that upset me, and I brooded myself into a megrim. Several megrims, in fact,” Elizabeth confessed. “But I do not feel unwell tonight, and I must re-enter company some time.”
“What correspondence?” asked Jane abruptly, entering from her bedroom, where she had just changed into her nightclothes and braided her hair.
Elizabeth realized that she had just worried her sisters, and said, “It was from Charlotte.”
“That’s the one that turned on you when you won your money, you said. Charlotte Lucas,” piped up Miss Dutton.
“She is Charlotte Collins now, but yes. That is her,” Elizabeth agreed.
“Reckon she misses you something fierce all of a sudden. Or she wants something.” Miss Dutton nodded in satisfaction. “Suellen writes me a letter every month. Sometimes she misses me. Sometimes she wants me to write to my father’s old partner and get her husband a job. I used to throw ‘em out unread, but after she sent so many, I got curious. I wish I hadn’t every time I open one. Last one put me so far off my chump I got into the last of my uncle’s brandy that my aunt was saving for sickness and drank until I was disguised. I never reply, but she still sends them.”
“Well… I do not mean to fall into drunkenness.” Elizabeth smiled at Georgiana, who always regarded Miss Dutton with alarm in her ex pression. “But I will admit that her audacity disturbed me. In any case, I cannot allow it to affect me any longer. I will join you all downstairs tomorrow.”
“I have just the treat to cheer you!” Miss Dutton jumped up and made her way excitedly to the door, “You all wait here!” She was only gone a few moments before she returned with a familiar package.
“Is that the parcel with the snakes?” asked Mary.
“Snakes?” said Miss Dutton in confusion.
“When you showed us that parcel in the village, you said something about snakes,” Mary said curiously.
Abigail Dutton laughed. “You sure say funny things, Mary Bennet. I think you’re my favourite Englishwoman! Come on all of you; we are going to the kitchens!”
The ladies followed Miss Dutton downstairs. “Are you certain that this is wise?” asked Jane worriedly.
“Don’t worry, Jane. I told Mrs Darlington about my surprise, and she gave permission. Said that we ain’t the only ones who stay up waking snakes; the gentlemen keep the cook’s assistant up all hours.” Miss Dutton led the way into the lower levels of the house, while the other ladies followed with their candles.
“That’s it! Waking snakes!” Mary cried. Miss Dutton stopped and turned as Mary continued. “When you had that parcel in the village, you said something about waking snakes.”
“That only means to cause a ruckus. Don’t you worry, Mary Bennet, this treat is far nicer than snakes!” Miss Dutton giggled.
The ladies stood back while Miss Dutton explained to the kitchen maid what she required. “Mrs Darlington said to expect you, and let you do as you pleased. Here’s the big pot and the lard, right here, miss.” The maid handed what was needed over.
“Does this big pot have a cover?” asked Miss Dutton. “And we’ll need a pair of mitts. Not just a towel. Proper mitts.”
“Yes, miss, the cook has a good pair right here.” The maid reached up and pulled a pair of enormous mittens that were used to handle heavy pots that were hot. Then she bent down and retrieved the cover for the large pan and handed it over .
Miss Dutton took a large spoonful of lard and dumped it in the pot. Then she took off her dressing gown and handed it to Miss Bates, and said “Don’t want this to catch over the fire.” She then stood in her sleeveless nightgown, and opened the package to reveal two dried ears of corn. “I had to write ahead to the general store here, and ask them to find these for me. Can’t believe you English don’t have dried corn everywhere.”
She dumped the ears of corn into the pot, placed the cover on top, and carried it to the stove. “Pull my nightgown back from the stove, Elizabeth. I have to stand close and shake the pan, or it’ll burn.”
“What on earth is she doing?” the kitchen maid asked Jane. Jane only shook her head and watched in bewilderment.
Miss Dutton placed the pot on the stove and turned up the flame. For several long minutes, nothing happened. Then… suddenly… POP! Then again, and again, BANG! POP!
Mary put her hands over her ears, as Miss Darcy whimpered a bit. This was loud . The English ladies, who were unused to the kitchens or loud noise, cringed and covered their ears, crying out in alarm as suddenly a multitude of loud bangs emanated from within the pot. The kitchen maid, who was used to the noise and bustle of the kitchens, proved unequal to her fear of the unfamiliar noise, and fled.
“Help! Please Lord, save us! Miss Dutton is murdering the young ladies in the kitchen with the devil's pistol!” Elizabeth heard the young maid shrieking as she escaped through the lower halls.
Abigail Dutton was unperturbed, standing calmly over the stove as Elizabeth bravely held her nightgown back from the fire. She shook the pan back and forth evenly, and Elizabeth could not begin to imagine what was happening inside. Thousands, millions perhaps of loud bangs and pops continued inside the pan, as they heard shouts of alarm approaching from down the halls.
Mr Darcy was reading in his dressing gown and slippers, trying to ignore the group of young men across the hall playing cards and shouting. They did this every night, and occasionally imbibed so much brandy that Darcy was amazed they had the ability to wake up and court women in the morning. He joined them a few times a week, just to be sociable. Bingley had joined them lately more often than not, for he was still piqued with Darcy for suggesting that he was inconstant.
Suddenly he heard shouts in the hall, and there was a pounding on his door. “Mr Darcy!” cried his footman, James, when Darcy opened the door. “The kitchen maid says that Miss Dutton is murdering the young ladies downstairs in the kitchen with the devil’s pistol, and there’s a terrible noise, sir! Never heard anything like it! Sounds like thousands of pistols, all at once, sir!”
Darcy ran with all haste, following the footman down the stairs, into the lower floors of the house. As he approached the kitchens, his godmother, Major Bartholomew, and two other chaperones close behind, he heard the noise that was frightening the servants, but it did not sound like any guns Darcy had ever heard. He charged into the kitchen to see Miss Elizabeth Bennet behind Miss Dutton, who stood calmly in front of the stove, shaking a large covered pot, from which all the noise was emanating. The other ladies were covering their ears and cowering in a corner, though they were all obviously quite safe.
“Miss Dutton, Miss Elizabeth, would you explain this ungodly noise!” he shouted in frustration.
Miss Elizabeth raised her eyebrows as Miss Dutton turned down the fire and removed the pot from the flame. “We’re only making a treat. Don’t get your feathers ruffled.” She looked at Mrs Darlington and said, “Sorry, ma’am. I should have warned you that we’d be a bit loud, though I believe your maid created most of the commotion. Your pot ain’t hurt though.” She removed the cover to show them the small puffs of fluffy white corn inside.
“What on earth is that?” Darcy asked in amazement as Bingley and some of the other men entered the kitchen from the other entrance and burst into drunken giggles upon finding the ladies in their nightwear.
“It’s popped corn,” answered Miss Dutton. “Try it.” She popped a puff into her own mouth and made a face, turning and taking a small handful of salt from the salt cellar behind her, then sprinkled it over the corn. “Needs salt. Now try it.”
“ Popped corn ? You are cooking Indian food in the middle of the night ?” Darcy laughed at the absurdity of it as Miss Elizabeth crept close and sneaked one of the kernels into her mouth. Not to be outdone, he took a few and tried them himself. He grinned at Elizabeth and in unison, they said, “It is delicious!”
At length, Mrs Darlington accepted Miss Dutton’s apology, the popped corn was distributed to a number of large bowls, and the ladies returned upstairs with their treat, sending bowls with Mr Darcy and the chaperones as well. Mr Bingley and some of the other young men were quite obviously inebriated and found the scene and the sight of the ladies’ in their dressing gowns quite a bit more amusing than the situation called for. Elizabeth was unimpressed and raised her eyebrows at Jane, who refused to meet her eye.
The ladies traipsed back to the Bennets’ parlour, past the other ladies staring open-mouthed out their doors in shock at their boldness. Miss Bertram and Miss Crawford lost no time following them into their parlour, and deciding that they could wake snakes quite as well as the gentlemen, the ladies sent for a bottle of wine and giggled and squealed late into the night.