Page 14 of Even More Christmas Magic and Romance (Holiday Hiccups #3)

Fourteen

THE FOUR OF us sat around the dining room table, drinking tea and nibbling on some home-baked cookies.

I promised myself to only eat one. Ben was nearby, snoozing in his doggie bed.

The conversation centered around safe topics like the possibility of snow at Christmas.

All the while, I distracted myself. I studied the three white ceramic trees in the center of the table.

Their battery-operated lights provided a soft glow without being too intrusive.

I decided I’d chosen well when ordering them.

Finally, Barbara sat back and began to speak. “I appreciate being here. I feel like I can breathe again after being in a suffocating relationship.” She glanced at my mom. “Grace has been a bright light, trying to help me find my way forward.”

My mom spoke up. “I don’t think I’ve been much help. I’m going through a lot of self-doubt too.”

“Do you know what’s changed to make you feel that way?” I asked. “You seemed so happy with Adam.”

Mom stared at me. “I thought all was fine, but then I had a serious argument with Adam. It made me wonder if I was living in a make-believe world.”

I shook my head. “You’re worried about nothing. The changes you’ve made in how you see yourself are what matters.”

Mom smiled. “You think so? I feel like I’ve become dependent on Adam, like I was dependent in my marriage.”

Stanley cleared his throat. “Grace, may I ask a question?”

“Of course,” Mom said.

“I know you value your relationship with Adam, but if you had to go it alone again, do you think you could be happy?”

Mom paused and crossed her arms. “I’d miss Adam terribly, but I’m capable of living alone. Before Adam moved in, I had lots of things I enjoyed.”

Barbara ran a finger over the rim of her holly and mistletoe patterned teacup. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper. “That’s what scares me. I married so young. I don’t know if I can get along on my own.”

Mom reached out to Barbara who sat next to her. “You have skills. You told me you took all those accounting courses. You could get a job or maybe work from home.”

Barbara sniffled. “I don’t have a home anymore.”

Stanley sat on Barbara’s other side. “Mom, if you want to get your own place, I’ll help you get started.”

I sat forward. “I’m in touch with lots of real estate folks. I’m sure one of them could use your accounting skills.”

Barbara’s eyes brightened. “Really? I feel so useless when it comes to earning my own way.”

Stanley laughed. “Are you kidding? You’ve been the one in our family who always handled the business end of things. And as I remember, you’re a whiz with numbers.”

Barbara shrugged. “I guess I did take care of certain things, but I never put much value on what I did.” She glanced around the table. “Knowing that all of you believe in me helps.”

Stanley spoke up again. “You might lack self-confidence, but trust me, you’re a very competent person.”

My mom sighed. “Barbara, after my divorce a couple of years ago, I struggled with where I was in life. Since then, I discovered how my feelings were just that, feelings. With time I learned to respect myself and my abilities. When I did, the feelings changed, and I had faith that things would turn out okay.”

Barbara smiled. “You’re an inspiration, Grace. I’m so happy we’re getting to know each other.”

For the first time since Stanley’s mother showed up at our house, I saw a glimmer of hope light up her face.

It made me take a contented sip of tea as I imagined a brighter future for my mother-in-law.

I’d barely swallowed my tea when there was a knock at the front door, and Ben leaping out of his doggie bed.

As my bouncy pup ran for the door to greet another visitor, my contented mood faded.

I had the feeling I knew who was doing the knocking.

I was filled with an instant fear that Stan Sr. was back and that he’d ruin everything.

With his dominant personality running the show, Barbara’s short-lived hope of regaining self-worth would be replaced with more feelings of inadequacy.

My ominous musings fell flat. The man Stanley invited in wasn’t his father.

Adam stood in the foyer. Adam is a nice looking guy who’s almost the same age as my mom.

As far as I know, he’s always acted in a caring way.

According to Mom, he can also be very understanding.

Instead of concentrating on those good qualities, my worry gene kicked in.

A question raced through my mind? How would my mother handle her relationship?

Would she continue to give in to neediness?

Earlier that day, I reacted in a very negative way to what was happening in Mom’s life.

I did the same thing with Stanley. I had the crazy thought that he could turn into his father.

After talking to my sister, I realized how much fear I was in, and fear wasn’t doing me any favors.

It was keeping me from knowing I was okay, no matter what changes were happening around me.

My fears and need for stability caused a lot of chaos in the past. For example, I just assumed that my parents would stay together forever.

At the same time, I hardly noticed them.

I was busy building a career, and that was all I thought about.

When their marriage fell apart, I was surprised and angry.

I blamed my father for the divorce. I came up with proof that he’d been the bad guy. My proof didn’t hold up. As we talked about everything and shared our feelings, I developed a much broader perspective on what really went on.

In my Dad’s case, I learned how hard he tried to provide for his family, and how much he loved all of us.

He didn’t want to fail my mother or his children, but he and Mom were very different people.

Going their separate ways gave each of them time to grow and become more aware.

In the end, Mom, Dad, my siblings and I were able to communicate more and find new, satisfying ways to be with each other.

Now, with my mother talking to Adam in a slightly raised voice and seeing my mother-in-law looking hunched over again, I had to trust that no matter what, life could turn out just fine.

With that thought, I looked up and noticed Stanley’s eyes.

They were open and clear. They looked like that when we first met, and I was panicked about my first Thanksgiving dinner.

The dinner ended up being delicious. Later, I found out how delicious love could be when I let it in.