Page 24 of Enzo (Redcars #1)

TWENTY-FOUR

Enzo

I’d handled that all wrong and ended up acting like a fucking idiot. I’d taken all his sunshine and hope and crushed it in my fist, and guilt was heavy.

“Fuck,” I muttered and I couldn’t shake the feeling I was leaving behind something important and that I’d messed up too much.

Why was tonight so different? I’d walked away from him many times, telling myself he was okay, safe inside, protected. But had things changed after how he’d looked at me earlier? Or was it just my stupid ass driving to fix what I’d done, even when I knew I didn’t have the right words?

All I knew was I was abandoning him when he needed someone the most.

“He’s asleep, you fucking idiot,” I grumbled. I didn’t want to be that needy guy who thought they could be someone’s savior, but maybe that was what I was trying to be when I couldn’t make a difference, no matter how hard I tried.

Fuck.

Fuck this shit.

I sent a message out before I could change my mind, then headed out to the yard behind the garage, waiting for Jamie and Rio to arrive, watching cameras blink and show they were coming, watching them enter codes, seeing the system work as it should.

“What did you do?” Jamie asked, on a yawn as he rounded the corner, Rio on his heels. It was a dumb move when I knew they’d take one look at my sorry ass and laugh. But using them as a sounding board was the only thing that made sense.

“You didn’t press the alarm?” Rio asked. “Is Robbie okay?”

Jamie watched me in silence—the complete opposite of Rio’s concern.

“Robbie’s okay,” I lied, but Rio raised an eyebrow, and I crumpled like a rusted car frame, buckling under the weight of my bullshit. I sat on a pile of tires, gesturing for the other two to sit, glancing to make sure the back door was shut. “Okay, so he’s not doing so well, and it’s on me,” I admitted, my voice rough. “He was excited about the Sunday thing, and I got all serious because you know he doesn’t do well with chaos. And you remember how loud it got last month, and he hid in his room, and I had to…” I stopped and scrubbed a hand through my hair. “I broke his heart,” I said, slumping onto the sofa.

“Jesus, you’re ridiculous,” Rio said, shaking his head with exasperation. “You couldn’t break his heart if you tried. None of us could.”

He was right; everything had shifted since Robbie had entered our lives. Our world had turned into a careful balancing act of watching over him. My world was even more so because he was mine to protect.

Mine.

Rio smirked. “So I’m guessing you called us to help fix whatever dumbass thing you’re figuring out tonight.”

I rubbed my hands over my face, frustration clawing at my chest. “I don’t know where to start.”

Rio leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You like Robbie.”

“But you don’t know Robbie,” Jamie added, insightful and dead-on.

“Robbie never told us about John, or the other, but fuck, we agreed when he got here not to dig too much, right?” I said after a pause. “We didn’t want to shine any light on him that might get him caught. But fuck, man, sometimes I wonder what kind of evil he was running from and whether we’re any better.”

Rio exhaled, his jaw tight. “We’re better.”

“Human trafficking, slavery,” Jamie murmured, “Not the same as us.”

“I know.” The words were heavy on my tongue.

He hugged me. I protected him. I tugged him onto my lap and held him close.

Rio frowned. “I hate thinking about that. Maybe one day, this John guy will show up here. That all this—” he gestured around, “—all the locks, the alarms, the precautions—it still might not be enough.”

Jamie finally spoke, low but firm. “We’re close by, protecting him.”

I sighed and nodded. “What kills me is that we haven’t heard from Mateo yet and…

Rio cut in, his tone knowing. “It kills you because you love Robbie.”

I nodded. “Is it because I want to protect him? What can I give him?”

Jamie, leaning against the wall, arms crossed,. “You can kill for him,” he said, his voice carrying a quiet menace.

Rio held a hand up. “What Jamie and me have is that big-brother-protector-a-little-bit-fucked-in-the-head vibe. What you have… well, jeez, that’s love.”

I shook my head. “It’s not fair to put this obsession on Robbie?—”

Rio snorted, “It sure looks like he loves you back. Fuck—look at the way we handle things. Jamie and I? We watch Robbie. We check out customers and look for threats while keeping our distance and letting him breathe. But you?” He pointed at me, eyes sharp. “You’re the one he needs in the middle of the night when the nightmares get too bad. You’re the one who tells him he’s stronger than he thinks. You’re the one who sits outside his door, waiting for him to feel safe enough to open it, but when he does, it’s because he’s choosing to, not because he needs you to fix him. And yeah, you’re the one he looks to when he needs reassurance, but he’s the one who keeps going, even when the world keeps trying to knock him down. He’s not just surviving, Enzo. He’s fighting every damn day.”

“Fuck,” that was all I could manage. Since when did Rio talk such a good game?

“And hell, you’re the one who makes him smile, laugh, and look all kinds of hopeful,” Rio added.

I shook my head again, but the words cut deep. “He needs all of us.”

Rio didn’t back down. “Yeah. But he leans on you, and you’re in love with each other. You don’t know it yet. Soulmates. Amiright, J?”

“Yep,” Jamie said.

Rio was on a roll. “He’s your guy, your person, your man, and you’re his.”

“Shit.”

I swallowed hard. “He depends on me. That’s all. He trusts me to keep him safe and ensure nothing happens to him.”

Rio arched a brow. “Yeah? And you think that’s where it stops? That’s all it is? What’s with you pulling him on your lap? You’re his protector, Enzo. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And since John came here? It’s different.”

Jamie shifted, arms still crossed, eyes sharp and unreadable. “He’s frustrated. Sad. Angry at himself.”

Rio nodded. “Yeah. And not only because of what happened to him. He wants more. He wants to do more. And you know what? He wants you.”

My heart slammed against my ribs. “That’s bullshit. He doesn’t?—”

“He does,” Rio cut in, his expression softening. “You don’t see it because your focus is protecting him. But he looks at you like you’re the one thing holding him together. The one thing he’s too scared to reach for.”

Jamie finally spoke, his voice quiet but confident. “He’s waiting for you to see it too.”

My mind raced, my chest tight. This wasn’t a conversation I was ready to have. I don’t know how to be that person for him. “Look at me—and look at him! He’s small and vulnerable. I could hurt him, and?—”

“Oh fuck off, Enzo,” Rio interrupted, rolling his eyes. “He’s a grown man, and Jesus, you’re a goddamn teddy bear.”

I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “Right. A teddy bear with a criminal history. That’s real soft.”

Rio stared at me, unimpressed. “You ever seen yourself with him? The way you look at him like he’s something special. You’re warmth. You make him feel safe. You’re patient as hell with him in ways you aren’t with anyone else. You don’t just protect him—you make him feel like he’s worth protecting. And that? That’s why he looks at you the way he does.”

“But love?”

I stared at my friends, but they shrugged. What the hell did I know about love? My mom survived on bad choices—drugs, men, whatever numbed the pain. My father? Could’ve been anyone. Love, as I’d seen it, was need twisted into control. Obsession. Survival.

Was that what this was? Because I needed Robbie like I needed air. But love? I didn’t know what that was supposed to feel like, let alone how to give it to someone who deserved more.

They couldn’t answer that part. That was all on me.

I wanted to pull him into my arms and swear I’d never let anything touch him again. But what if I pushed too hard, broke something fragile? What if he didn’t want that from me? The fear twisted in my gut.

But what if he did? What if he was waiting for me to show him this wasn’t just protection—that I saw him?

I wasn’t soft. I was built to take hits. But maybe he didn’t need soft. Maybe he needed someone to stand with him when the past came clawing back. He was strong in ways I’d never be—surviving the unimaginable, still finding space to laugh, to hope.

If he could fight for himself, maybe I could fight for us.

“It’s the secrets,” Jamie murmured, more serious, his voice quieter than before, as though he was working through the thought as he spoke it. I glanced over at him, waiting for him to continue, but he was all casual, leaning back against the wall, arms crossed, and it was left to Rio to continue.

“You don’t know what’s out there wanting to hurt him. None of us do,” he said. “And he needs to tell someone. Maybe that’s where you start. You tell him your truth, and maybe he’ll tell you his. That’s how this works, Enzo. You stop waiting for the right moment and just”—he gestured—”be what he needs.”

“And what if I fuck it up? What if I push too hard? What if it’s too much?”

“What if you break him with your enormous magic peen?” Rio deadpanned, then sighed, shaking his head. “You won’t. Because despite whatever you think about yourself, you don’t push him. He trusts you. More than anyone. More than himself sometimes. Maybe it’s time you start trusting yourself too.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Since when did you two become all-knowing?”

Jamie smirked, radiating the smug confidence of someone who knew they were right. “Some of us just have natural wisdom, Enzo. Comes with being ridiculously good-looking and always right.”

Rio raised an eyebrow. “Or, you know, from actually paying attention.”

I rolled my eyes. “Right, because you two are so clever.”

Jamie grinned. “Damn right.”

I groaned, dragging a hand down my face, feeling as if I’d walked straight into a trap of my own making. “I regret everything. This is the worst intervention I’ve ever willingly invited people into.”

Rio just laughed. “And yet, here you are, finally listening.”

“We’re gonna go now, so fix this shit,” Jamie said.

Easier said than done.