Page 49

Gemma

“It had to be a bikini.”

My lips curled up at that familiar midnight-velvet voice. I loved when I dreamed of my boy.

“It is the beach, sweetheart,” I murmured.

“I’ve never been to the beach before. It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t compare to you, angel.”

Sliding my sunglasses down my nose, I looked at Kerry where he lay on his side next to me in the sand. His head was propped up on one arm, and he wore a tight t-shirt and red trunks. I recognized it as the same outfit he’d worn the first time we’d gone swimming in the school pool.

I pouted for half a second. He was usually shirtless in my dreams.

“If that shirt gets any tighter, the seams are going to burst,” I purred. “Why don’t you take it off so I can appreciate all those drool-worthy muscles in the flesh?”

“Gemma. I’m really here. Lilas is weaving our dreams together.”

“What?” A bucket of cold water couldn’t have shocked me more.

The corners of his eyes crinkled up as he grinned.

“Lilas found you in dreamland and brought me here. I thought I should tell you before you said anything embarrassing. Anything else embarrassing.”

My face lit on fire, which made him laugh. I didn’t understand the how of it, but I didn’t care. He was there and that’s all that mattered.

I reached for him, and he wrapped me up against his chest.

“For real?” I whispered. “You’re more than Dream Kerry?”

“Yep. Well, at least a psychic hologram of me, according to Amanda Greenaway.”

“Amanda’s with you, too?”

“I … am not keeping it together too well, and she came up with this idea to help.” He touched his nose to mine. “Are you still with the djinni? Gemma, angel, baby, I need to know: Are you okay? Has he— Has he—”

I knew what he was asking and hurried to put him out of his misery.

“He hasn’t touched me. He hasn’t handed me over to his master. I’m fine. I’m comfortable and uninjured. He even bought me some yarn and crochet hooks to keep me busy, but that’s probably because he wanted to shut me up for a bit. He says I talk too much.”

“Are you telling the truth?” His arms tightened around me.

“Sweetheart, this setting is proof enough. If I were being tortured and molested, would I be able to dream of sunbathing on the beach? I swear to you, the only thing hurting me is being separated from you.”

I tangled my fingers in his hair. It was much longer and messier than usual. Leaning back a little, I studied him. Bloodshot eyes, gaunt cheeks under rough whiskers, lines of exhaustion carved into his skin…

He isn’t taking care of himself at all .

“You know I’m looking for you, right?” he asked.

“ Of course I do, but I’m worried about you. Are you being careful?” “No, I’m not being careful!” he growled. “I’ve been to Hell, fought giants, blown hundreds of thousands of dollars, cashed in favors, called in markers—”

I laid my fingers against his lips.

“I’m sorry I’m causing you so much trouble. I know you’re agonizing about my safety, and I want you to stop. Darius has every reason to take good care of me. He’s been very sweet, actually.”

“He better take care of you. You can’t know how I felt when I saw him ’port away with you at City of the Future.” His eyelashes grew wet, and a tear slipped from the corner of his left eye.

Oh, my love. You’re breaking my heart!

“Where is he keeping you?” he went on before I could speak. “Can you tell me anything to help me find you?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Startled, I tried again, but still nothing.

“He’s bound you to silence?”

“I guess so.” I touched a hand to my throat, disturbed to know that. “I was close to drained and slept for a long time. Days, I think. He told me it’s a safe place. A warded place. Oh, and he’s very familiar with it.”

“Well, that narrows it down some, I suppose.”

“If it helps,” I murmured, “I think he hates this. Using me as a hostage, I mean.”

“Good. Maybe his conscience will bother him enough to let you go.”

“ My conscience has been killing me.” My face crumpled. “I’m sorry, Kerry. I’m so, so sorry!”

He knew right away what I was apologizing for.

“Hush. I overreacted, as usual.”

“I was worried you’d hate yourself when you calmed down enough to realize you killed an innocent human,” I wailed. “I never meant to suggest I didn’t trust you. I trust you with my life!”

“I know. I know you do.” He brushed his knuckles down my cheek. “After I calmed down, after the taint settled and I could think again, I understood. Don’t worry about that anymore.”

I squeezed him in a tight hug and knew I had to confess what I’d done.

“I did something I’m scared you’ll hate me for,” I whispered into his chest.

“There’s nothing you could do that would make me hate you.”

“Don’t be so sure. I—” Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for him to push me away. “I made a deal with Samuel Castle at City of the Future.”

He remained silent, and the words tumbled out of me.

“I didn’t know who he was! I mean, I knew who he was, but I didn’t know who he was in relation to you . Mira told me as she carried me out of that church. She said he’d killed your mother and—”

“What deal did you make?” he interrupted. “Jax told me Castle dragged you away, but you came back alone and unharmed. I can guess his part was to help you escape. What did you give him in return?”

“I promised to take Anne Tamang with us, to heal her and make sure she got to safety.”

“That’s nothing to stress about. You woulda saved an innocent girl anyway, right?” He cupped my chin in one hand and lifted it until our eyes met. “And I did something you might not like, either.”

“Tell me. I’m in a pretty forgiving mood now that I can see your handsome face again.” I scrubbed my hands over his patchy beard. “These whiskers have to go, though. Too rough!”

“They’ll soften up as they grow longer.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Shave them off. I love every part of your face and want to see it.”

“So bossy!” He rolled his eyes, but the unscarred side of his mouth lifted.

And I suddenly needed a fan. And a bucket of ice water. Maybe a snow drift, too. That half-smile always did make me melt into a puddle.

“What were you going to tell me?” I cleared my throat to ask. “You said you did something.”

“The others come up with distractions to keep me from doing something stupid or reckless. Mira asked me to design a tattoo for her, so I did. One thing led to another and—”

“Did you get a new tattoo?” My heartbeat sped up.

“Yeah. On my back.”

“Let me see it!” I tugged at his shirt.

“Not until we’re together again in real life. Are you mad?”

“No. Why would I be?”

“I took time to get it! Time I shoulda spent looking for you! It was daylight, though, and a lotta my contacts don’t do daylight. We were waiting because Spin needed money, and Jax and Gigi went to send him some and—”

“Not even you can maintain a high alert state twenty-four seven without needing a break. Are you eating? Are you sleeping? I’m worried you’re not taking care of yourself, and that is not okay.”

“I fell asleep while I was getting tattooed.” His eyes glittered with torment. “Tell me I ain’t letting you down, Short and Sweet.”

“You aren’t letting me down, so stop feeling guilty. And give yourself permission to sleep and eat.” I brushed my fingertips over his scarred cheek. “It hurts my heart that you’re suffering, Goofy.”

He rolled onto his back and took me with him. Taking advantage of this delicious new position, I ran my hands up his arms, caressed his biceps and his shoulders, and slipped my fingers behind his neck. As a groan vibrated through his chest, heat built in my belly.

“I can’t breathe without you, Gemma.” His hands left my hips and skimmed up my back, making me shiver. “I can’t keep it together, either. If it wasn’t for Chance’s calm and apathy, I woulda killed Jax twice , not to mention an old neph, a peri, a tattoo artist—”

“But you haven’t, right?”

“No. I’ve kept my first promise to you as best I could, but out here in the Real World—”

“That promise is null and void outside of the Sanctuary.” I framed his face with my hands. “You do what you need to do. I trust you to make the right calls. The only promise I want from you now is that you’ll stay alive. That’s only one thing I’ll never forgive you for.”

“I’ll stay alive. You do the same. I can’t live if you don’t.”

I smiled, which made his eyes brighten, then I touched my mouth to his, which surprised him. He recovered quickly, though, and deepened the kiss. My whole body burning, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself closer.

He ended the kiss and, when I dipped down for another one, caught my head in his big hands.

“Dream Gemma is bold,” a wide grin stretched over his face, “and I love where this is going, but Lilas can see us.”

“ What?! ”

I hid my red face in the curve of his neck and felt a chuckle rumble through his chest. He gathered my hair up in one hand and drew it back so he could whisper in my ear.

“Don’t be embarrassed, angel. I dream about you, too.”

Suddenly, he began to fade around the edges.

“What’s happening?” I panicked a little.

“Lilas is pulling me back. Poor little kid’s probably running outta juice.” He rolled us onto our sides. “She might not be able to do this again.”

He was becoming more and more transparent. I tried to cling to him, but ended up with my arms around myself.

“Don’t go! Stay with me!”

“I’ll find you, Short and Sweet.” His voice was fading along with the rest of him.

“I love you! Do you hear me, Kerry Harker? I love you !”

Only the endless swish of the waves broke the silence.

I should have told him that the second he showed up in my dream. Why didn’t I?

I buried my face in my hands and sobbed.