Page 23

CHAPTER 23

Four Days Later

Welcome Home! the tattered banners strung across the SOS Hotel porch entrance proclaimed. As Victor, Zee, and I climbed from the back of the SSD van, Madame Matase, Chef étrange, Little Jimmy, and even Tom Collins stood on the deck clapping.

So much had happened since we’d left on vacation, that it felt strange setting foot on the front step again. Good strange. It really did feel as though we were coming home.

We entered the lobby, where more banners had been hastily fixed over doorways. The sagging balloons had a few scratches. The gremlins had gotten to them, but even half deflated they looked great.

Zee headed straight for the foldaway table with plates of snacks and nibbles. “Mac and cheese! Gah, I’ve died and gone to SOS Hotel heaven!”

This was all very... extravagant and wonderful, and I had a tight little knot in my throat that wouldn’t go away.

“I’m so glad we have you home again.” Madame Matase’s eyes looked a little glassy, like maybe she might cry. If she cried, so would I.

“Uh... yeah. So uhm... this is lovely, but how can we afford it?”

“Tom Collins assures me he had some money saved for when he... Now, how did he put this exactly? He called it a flight fund. For when this circus fails and we all drown in debt . Yes, that’s what he said.”

That sounded like something Tom would plan for, and say. “I guess he doesn’t think we’re a failure anymore.”

The front desk phone rang, so Madame Matase glided off to answer it. “No more running off, darling,” she scolded over her shoulder at me, then tittered. “It’s a good thing I like you, or I’d have to curse you, Adam Vex.”

I laughed, then stopped. She’d probably meant it.

“Adam Vex.” Agent Leomaris’s slow-moving, syrupy voice announced their presence behind me. I couldn’t tell from their tone if they had cuffs to slap on my wrist, but figured as I turned that if they’d wanted me arrested they’d have had their agents lock me up at the prison. Instead, we’d been bundled into a van, whisked to nearby motel, given a change of clothes, told to eat, then debriefed relentlessly for three full days. Only after the SSD was satisfied with our stories did they ship us back to our hotel door.

The SSD agent smiled as I turned, then thrust out a hand for me to shake. “It is good to see you well. You had me worried for far too long.”

I gripped their hand and shook with gusto. Their smile grew, and so did mine. I was ashamed I’d even doubted them. “We wouldn’t be here if not for you putting all the pieces in place.”

“You have Tom Collins to thank for that. As soon as you vanished and your brother made an unwanted appearance, Tom worked night and day to track your whereabouts and recruit those he was certain you would have helped. Of course, your brother was determined to paint you in a bad light, but your bartender made it clear he’s the only one who is allowed to critique the Heroes of San Francisco. Your barman is very protective of you, and this hotel.”

Tom was currently standing by a bookshelf that had to be new, clearly discussing its construction with Victor. “He really did all that?” I asked.

“Indeed. He is a formidable manager. And friend.”

“Yeah.” My heart swelled with pride. Until Tom glared, as though sensing we were talking about him, and my heart withered under his unnerving judgmental scrutiny.

“It’s probably best not to reveal you’re aware of the lengths he went to. He seems to prefer it if everyone believes he despises you and this hotel.”

I grinned. “His secret is safe with me.”

Zee—plate in hand—sauntered over to Tom Collins and Victor, and as Agent Leomaris and I watched, Zee plucked a brown, plastic-wrapped package from under his baggy, off-the-shoulder sweater and gave it to Tom. It took me a second to place where that package had come from—Hooper’s warehouse. He must have pocketed a bag of cocaine, because of course he had. And now he was giving it to Tom, because of course wrapped drugs were a totally normal present to bring back from a vacation in the Everglades.

“Anyhoo.” I grabbed Leomaris’s arm and steered them around to face the reception desk. “How’s my brother doing?”

“Ah yes, well... as can be expected. The children adore him, of course.”

I gulped. “Kids?” They loved... my brother? Usually, he was the one who loved kids... when they went down in one bite, without wriggling.

“Yes, while we have his confession of world-domination ambitions from the cameras in the prison visitors’ room, he did not in fact commit any substantial crimes. So he’s one of the first Lost Ones to take part in the new community outreach initiative.”

Syros was in the community ...? I did not like where this was going. It had only been a few days since our showdown, and the SSD had let him out? “Huh... And what is that initiative exactly?”

“I see you’re concerned.” Leomaris’s smile was sympathetic but also comforting. “But there’s really no need to be. He’s restrained by wards and can’t hurt anyone. Community service is a proven rehabilitation program.”

“Oh... and it’s safe... for the uh... kids?”

“Oh yes, human younglings love being able to touch a dragon.”

“Touch... a dragon?”

“He’s in a petting zoo for under fives.”

Wait, my brother was in a zoo? They’d put him somewhere he was going to be prodded and poked by small children? Oh dear... but also... ookay, then. Maybe having human younglings crawling all over him would teach him the error of his ways.

“You may also like to know the manager of The Peach Pit, Kat, has been charged with his business partner’s murder. It seems Skrinde had kept proof that the apparent accident was anything but, likely to pressure Kat into helping him run drugs through South Beach.”

It was a shame Kat had turned out not to be the good person Zee remembered, but not everyone could or should be saved.

“We’re shutting much of the Nevada prison down,” Leomaris continued. “All low-level Lost Ones will be assigned a community officer. The hope is that we can teach them to integrate better. Something that should have been done years ago.”

“That’s good.”

Leomaris nodded, and paused, likely thinking of all the Lost Ones who might have been saved, but at least now they had a second chance. “I hear Zander, the lupine shifter from Whiteacre, is now employed at Razorsedge?”

“Oh yeah.” I grinned. “I heard on the way over. He’s a... uhm... the club’s equipment engineer.” Which was a fancy way of saying Zander maintained the club’s vast array of toys . Zander was absolutely in his element, and I had no doubts that the Razorsedge demons would adore him.

“I see,” Leomaris said.

“Agent Fae!” Zee swaggered over, having left his drugs with Tom and his empty plate on the side. “You ever been to the neverglades? Like... hell on earth. If you don’t eat it, it eats you. There are frogs the size of people. And alligators lied! They are not cute and fluffy. Worse than that, fucking leeches. Worms that stick to your skin and suck out your brains. That place is next-level fucked. Should all be set on fire. All of it. All the bad things are there.”

“And drugs,” Leomaris said dryly.

“What?” Zee blinked, then laughed him off. “Oh yeah, drugs, all the drugs, but you got Skrinde for all that... right?”

“Mostly... We appeared to be missing a few packages, but I am certain they’ll resurface.”

Zee grimaced, and planted his hands on his hips. “Probably the frogs took it. You can’t trust ’em. Slippery critters. Big tongues. Very bad. Also, did I mention the alligators? One tried to eat Victor. Spat him out. Nobody likes vampires.”

Leomaris’s lips ticked with their effort to keep the smile at bay. “It is good to see you again, Zodiac.”

“I fuckin’ know, right? Shit got wild, but we are pros and handled it.” He slung an arm around my shoulders. “Like true Heroes of the fucking City.”

“Ah yes, about that... It seems placing such a responsibility on the three of you was?—”

“A brilliant fucking idea?” Zee supplied.

“Ambitious?” Victor suggested, stopping at my right.

“Perhaps optimistic is the word? We’re revoking your status, but only so that you can return to your old lives. Frankly, putting that much pressure on three individuals after an already traumatic event was too much to ask.”

“And you have some superiors asking difficult questions.” Victor smiled, seeing through Leomaris’s politeness to the crux of the issue. We really weren’t all that great at being heroes.

“Indeed. It’s best for everyone if you stay here, keep your guests happy, and your heads down. At least for a few months—or years. Live out the rest of your days as the heroes who twice saved the world.”

I grinned at Zee. He seemed sad, for a moment. He’d loved being a hero, but he also loved running a crazy hotel for Lost Ones, and after a few seconds, he smiled. “Yeah, I’m down with it. This place is more than enough, and these guys.”

Victor smiled too, in that soft, polite way that meant he was ecstatic but would never show it.

“I think we’d like that,” I said. We’d just be us again. Just three weirdos trying to figure out how to love while also crafting a normal life in a very abnormal hotel.

Tom rang a little bell, set it down on the side, and clapped his hands together. “Fun time’s over. Everyone get back to work, and if you’re not paying for a room or buying a drink, then kindly fuck off. This hotel is not a charity—but I did steal this food from one.”

The elevator pinged, the doors opened, and a fae ran screaming through the lobby and out the front doors.

“Was that a gremlin in her hair?” Zee asked. “Or a real weird hat?”

“Yes,” Victor replied.

Agent Leomaris bowed their head in a brief farewell gesture, probably sensing it was best to leave before the chaos erupted. “Welcome back to the SOS Hotel.”

It was good to be back, where we belonged.

“Does anyone have a fire extinguisher?” Madame Matase called.

Together.

Always.

The End

(For real, this time)

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