Page 36 of Enchantra (Wicked Games #2)

35

SOMETHING REAL

Rowin had told her, before he healed her, that the wound would likely scar. Still, Genevieve had been horrified to see her reflection. The monster’s claw had left a four-inch mark from the top of her eyebrow almost to her chin. When she’d cried at the sight, the only comfort he’d been able to offer was that she was lucky not to lose her vision.

Surely Salem can fix it , she’d told herself.

Now, she was moping over her diary in the dining room—where Rowin had taken the time to cover all the looking glasses while she ate so she didn’t have to catch any unwanted glimpses of herself—while Rowin and Ellin played cards.

March 24

Happy twenty-second birthday to me. I just read my entry from a year ago and it’s hard to believe how different my life looked then. Heartbroken. Grieving. Feeling stuck in New Orleans. In Grimm Manor.

That certainly isn’t the case now. No, now I’m stuck in this cursed estate with people I cannot tell if I hate. With the man who has given me the best sex of my life. A man I still cannot trust, whose secrets I’m still uncovering.

After everything that has happened here, one little scar shouldn’t be weighing on me so heavily, but I suppose it’s the evidence that so much has changed in so little time and yet I have not changed at all. I remain as vain as ever. As jaded. I just want to go home, but I’m not sure home could even be a comfort at this point. What would I find there? My sister, yes. And the reminder that she has a purpose in New Orleans that I will never have. Where do I fit into that? She and Salem had to get rid of me just to enjoy their time together.

Farrow wanted to get rid of me. My mother.

If Rowin could have gotten rid of me at the start, he would have despite however he feels about me now. And I hate that I’ve begun to enjoy his company. To like him. Because I do. He’s competitive and pushy but also clever and nurturing. And I fear that even winning the Hunt and freeing him will not be enough to keep him. His guilt will always chain him to this place. As mine chains me to Grimm Manor.

X, Genevieve

“Genevieve?”

Genevieve glanced up from her diary to find Rowin and Ellin looking at her expectantly.

“Were you talking to me?” she asked, her tone a bit clipped.

“Yes,” Rowin answered. “Do you want to play a hand of cards?”

“No, thank you,” she told him. “I’m tired of games at the moment.”

She scraped her chair back from the table and tucked her diary beneath her arm. Ellin and Rowin exchanged a loaded look. She made her way out of the room, just as Sevin rounded the corner, sucker in hand. She nearly bowled him over.

He sidestepped out of her way, giving her a curious tilt of his head when he noticed her sour expression—and the scar on her face.

“I was coming to tell you what a good time I had last night,” Sevin revealed as he pointed to her wound with his sucker. “That looks?—”

“Shut the fuck up, Sevin,” Rowin barked, his mouth curling up in anger.

“What?” Sevin asked innocently. “I was going to say badass . Gives her some edge, don’t you think? Like she survived a battle with a monster or something.”

“I did survive a battle with a monster,” she growled.

Sevin nodded as he popped his candy back into his mouth, waving his hand in the air as if to say yes, that’s what I just said .

“Go be a bastard somewhere else,” Rowin snarled at his brother.

“Aren’t the two of you fucking?” Sevin shot at Rowin. “I’d hoped that might make you less disagreeable for once. It’s certainly made you first in line for Favored.”

“And you know this how?” Rowin asked flippantly as he placed a card on the table in front of Ellin.

“Knox just showed up to let me know I’m in danger of losing my title,” Sevin told him. “He also wants all the mirrors uncovered in here. Expeditiously. His word, not mine.”

Rowin did not look happy at the request.

“From what I heard of your performance in the woods, I thought that order might make you excited,” Sevin taunted.

Genevieve made a face. “You’re being uncouth.”

“No, what’s uncouth is the fact that I bet money against Covin on the fact that Rowin would be able to resist sleeping with you because he swore he never would,” Sevin complained. “And yet here we are.”

Genevieve swung her gaze to Rowin. “What?”

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Rowin seethed at his brother.

Sevin lifted his brows. “What did I say?”

Ellin sighed deeply, slapping her hand of cards face down on the table as she turned to Genevieve and said, “Those fools had a pool going the moment Rowin mentioned the wedding to them. Covin bet that the two of you would fuck despite…the circumstances. Sevin bet you wouldn’t.”

“Because I’m a gentleman,” Sevin added. “But then Covin offered Rowin half his winnings if you did and I said?—”

“You’re getting paid?” Genevieve looked at Rowin in disbelief. “That’s why you…why we…”

Rowin was up from the table immediately. “ No . Hell, Genevieve ?—”

But she was already leaving. Needing to be anywhere else.

“ Damn it , you two,” she heard Rowin growl.

“What? It’s my fault you’re over two centuries old and still have no idea how to treat women?” Ellin retorted.

Genevieve didn’t know where to go, but she certainly didn’t want to go back to his room. So, she went to the first place she could think of instead. The hedge maze.

March 24

Forget whatever I wrote earlier in my misguided youth. I hate him.

X, Genevieve

When Rowin found her a couple of hours later, she was sitting on the edge of the fountain, shivering.

“You’re very determined to get frostbite while you’re here, aren’t you?” he murmured as his boots crunched through the snow.

“Leave me alone,” she told him. The cold had made her numb again, and she was trying to enjoy it in peace.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I get a chance to explain?”

“Another one you mean?” She laughed a low, humorless laugh. “You know, I know I dug through your private things when I probably shouldn’t have?—”

“Probably?” he snorted.

“—but if I hadn’t, would you have ever told me? About my letters? The hex? If Sevin hadn’t brought it up, were you ever going to tell me you were making money off of us fucking?”

“I didn’t agree to my brother’s ridiculous bribe, Genevieve. In fact, I told them both to fucking choke on it at the time. I didn’t even remember they made that bet until now because I tend to ignore half the shit they say. I don’t think this one should count against me.”

She looked down at her hands. He was right.

Rowin crouched in front of her. “Genevieve. Look at me.”

She didn’t. He sighed.

“I know you must feel like things are out of control. Like you’re constantly being used or played with. That’s the nature of being under a Devil’s thumb.” He shook his head bitterly. “But you and I have made our own choices. No matter what they’re saying, or wagering on, or voting on, we have chosen our path here. I cannot imagine how hard this has been for you. How exhausting it probably is thinking you finally have a handle on your emotions, only for the game to turn everything on its head an hour later. And I know a lot of that is my fault. But you’re not alone.”

She swallowed as she slowly spun the ring on her finger around and around.

“I have a scar on my face that might never go away because of a game that I—and the rest of you—don’t even want to play. This is my first time missing a birthday with my family, without my mother ”—her voice cracked—“and I’ve almost died too many times to count. Only surviving because other people have allowed me to. I don’t want to survive anymore. I want to live . And not for my mother or my sister or anyone else. I just want to find a reason to live for myself . Something real .”

He was quiet for so long she had to look up to check if he was still there.

“Genevieve, you have to choose to live for yourself . You are the most real thing you’ll ever be able to experience. Your light. Your determination. You can search every corner of the universe for something else and it will never be enough if you’re trying to escape yourself. I don’t know who told you that you weren’t good enough, but they were fucking wrong. You’re more than good enough. Your heart is more than good enough. No matter how many times it has been burned. How many scars it might have. It will keep on beating, brave and passionate, if you will only let it.”

Tears pricked her eyes now as she whispered, “I thought you said you couldn’t ever truly trust your heart.”

“I meant when it comes to other people,” he corrected. “Not when it comes to yourself. I think you know your heart is good. I think that’s why you hold on to it so tight.”

Her breath hitched.

He stood and offered out his hand to her. “We won that token, you know. We get to sit out this round. I thought we could get out of here. Pretend the Hunt doesn’t exist for a bit.”

She raised her brows as she took his hand. “Get out of here? How? Where?”

He began pulling her back toward the house. “You’ll see. Plus, you’re turning a concerning shade of purple.”

“At least purple is one of my colors,” she grumbled to herself. And then an idea popped into her head. “Hey, Rowin?”

“Yes, trouble?”

“I’ll race you,” she told him, and before he even took another step, she shifted into her Specter state and she ran.