Page 77 of Empty Heat

When things subsided, but he was still like a hard yearning inside me, I said, “This thing between us—do you think it can be heard from space? Like the whistle?”

He replied in his beautiful voice. “If it is love you are describing, it can be felt, heard, seen, smelled and tasted throughout the universe.”

* * *

When Rocco wasready to be born, we went in for our scheduled c-section. I would never be able to have children naturally, due to my condition, but this way we knew our baby’s birthday ahead of time. We could mark it on our calendar so it would become a reality.

For the birth, I had a local and was awake the whole time with Lev dressed in scrubs and a face mask steadfastly holding my hand.

I heard Rocco’s first cry as he was quickly wrapped and his umbilical clamped. I held him in my arms as they glued my stomach up. It was the second time in my life I instantly fell in love.

Lev and I created two more beautiful children after that. They had his soft fallen leaf hair and my blue eyes.

Rocco. Kirio. Stiel.

Children of love, a love we were both so close to losing once because of pride and sacrifice and sinking self-esteem.

I now taught my kids if you want something, you have to pay attention. Listen hard. You have to put out a call to it even if you might not get an answer, or it answers in unexpected ways. You have to whistle like the Caribbean.

It was still looking, I told them, always calling. Maybe, someday, its true mate would hear.

THE END