Page 19

One of the twins was trying to thwart Lady Dalimu’s plan to get back in court.

If they seduced the Minister of Medicine, Dr. Jafopo, and convinced him that they were the better option, Lady Dalimu would still be stuck in Forsaith with no way back to the capital.

It was cruel and very much like the women I had gotten to know.

But why was the minister letting it happen? Perhaps the attentions of two beautiful young women were reassuring for a man his age. Maybe he was hedging his bets as well.

There was a very real chance that the emperor would deny Lady Dalimu the opportunity to come back to the capital. And the Bemishu twins did come with their own political benefits—their father was a general, and they were clearly in General Kacha’s good graces.

Maybe the minister was waiting to see which way the wind blew.

Terror finished the fruit, and I took the bowl back to the table, at last able to loosen the ties on my wrist enough to pull out the piece of paper I’d tucked there.

Terror clicked his beak together as he watched me examine it.

The delicate folds of a cream sheet of paper came together to form a butterfly.

Its wings spread wide, and it was crumpled from where I’d shoved it into my cuff, but delicate care had gone into shaping it.

Was Asahi supposed to pass it on to someone else, or was it intended for him? And if it was between Sagam and Asahi, what did it mean?

I examined the exterior for any signs of writing and, finding none, set to the task of unfolding it. After I found one loose flap, I pulled it apart, and it opened flat. The note inside was written with black ink, a few smudges showing where it hadn’t been dry when Sagam had folded it.

Dearest beloved,

We cannot. I know the risks, I know the potential rewards, but we cannot . There is too much at stake for us and the Imperium. I haven’t trained my entire life to be Emperor’s Dog only to throw it away, so please do not ask me again because I fear I would say yes.

There must be other ways to accomplish the same goal.

I love you too much to let this be what tears us apart. I love you too much to let this be what breaks my heart. Please, please, help me think of another way.

Always yours,

Sagam

I turned the page over in my hand, but there was nothing, no more hint.

Sagam had been discreet, and I could think of a hundred things he might be referring to.

Was he talking about killing the emperor?

Was he talking about running away? Was he talking about some other kind of rebellion that would suit my purposes?

The last stopped me. Four days ago, I would have jumped at any evidence that the Emperor’s Dogs might have their own loyalties, ones not tied to their oath to the emperor. The letter alone would have been hope for a hopeless task.

Now, I wondered what I should do with it. Did I tell Tallu he was right? His Dogs weren’t entirely loyal to him? Or did I use the letter for my own purposes and keep Tallu in the dark?

I looked around, but I didn’t see any of the blood mages. How long would it take them to realize what I was up to?

Carefully, I refolded it, running my finger along the creases, my thumbnail scraping them flat. I stared at the work of art when done, knowing that it would never be the same as when Sagam had first folded it.

I twisted the butterfly between my fingers, the stiff paper softer after having been refolded, and watched it change colors depending on the direction of the light.

Finally, I stood, tucking the butterfly into my pocket on the opposite side of my body from the dragon egg.

I dug under the secret compartment I’d cut into my mattress.

Likely, it had already been found, and one of the servants had catalogued everything in it, but I took out the weapons and coins I’d hidden there.

I strapped a wolf’s claw to my waist, a dagger to my forearm, and another at my ankle. The leather straps sat awkwardly on imperial silk. I had to tighten them down; the leather I usually wore them over was thicker than my current clothing.

It was strange, wearing them again. Tallu had said I could and had even made a public show of it. But this was still a risk. There was a reason Yor?mu had trained me how to assassinate anyone bare-handed, how to kill using only what I found in the room with me.

Shaking my head, I went to the door. Terror watched closely, and it was clear that despite our deal and the food I offered, he was ready to pick at my carcass should this go wrong.

Opening the door, I found Asahi outside, one hand on his sword, eyes scanning from window to door to balcony. He turned to me when the door opened, the black of his mask making his eyes stand out brightly.

“Asahi?” I gestured behind me, the implication clear.

He hesitated, leaning back for a moment before raising his chin and stepping into the room. When he was inside, I closed the door behind him. I walked over to the table and lifted a heavy ceramic teapot, pouring two cups.

The dark liquid steamed, even though I had no idea how long it had been in the pot. More imperial magic or just Nohe knowing exactly when to put the pot together for me? Did servants have some network of information so she knew the moment I left the emperor’s rooms?

Carefully, I handed Asahi one of the cups, my fingertips warm from the ceramic. He took it, our fingers touching, and I didn’t feel any spark of electricity from him. Perhaps it was just with Tallu that I could feel the power beneath his skin, the burn of him.

“I cannot drink while on duty,” Asahi said, setting the cup aside.

I settled onto one of the floor cushions and gestured for him to take the other. He stiffened.

“I cannot?—”

I took the butterfly out of my pocket, putting it on the table between us. “Sit down.”

He tensed, and I worried he’d draw a blade on me, but instead, he sank to his knees, then sat on his cushion, legs still tense. His eyes were fixed on me.

“Take off your mask,” I said.

He shook his head sharply, although it was less a negation than a horrified no , as though I’d asked him to leave horse excrement on Tallu’s throne.

I pushed the butterfly toward him. “Take off your mask.”

Carefully, Asahi unhooked it, the clasp nearly invisible. He hesitated, hand lingering on the matte-black metal. Then he tightened his fingers and let it fall into his palm. Finally, I saw more than a sliver of the side of his face.

Asahi was attractive, as far as imperials went.

Smooth skin the color of copper, gleaming as much as Tallu’s.

And, oh. From that alone, I could see that he was either an unwanted lesser son of some noble house or the bastard child of a lord.

I had assumed his bearing came from his training as a Dog, but maybe it had been before that that he’d learned how to stand straight, neither eyes nor face expressing any of his feelings.

“Do you want to know what Sagam’s answer is?” I nudged the folded butterfly forward again.

Asahi’s expression wasn’t any more revealing without his mask. His lips tightened slightly, his throat moving, but then he stilled, eyes almost blank. Almost .

“Should I tell you?” I moved slowly to pick up the letter, but Asahi snatched it out from under my hand.

He hadn’t said anything since removing his mask, and he was trying for completely blank, but the speed at which he’d grabbed the letter told me everything I needed to know.

I’d assumed Sagam—snarky, amusing Sagam—would be the weak point between them, but no.

Asahi was the one who loved as though his heart was an ocean, the depths of it unexplored.

“I want to know what the question was.” I took hold of my cup of tea, sipping it without tasting anything. “What did you ask him?”

Asahi stared at me, his hands flat on the table, the letter having already vanished into a fold of his clothes. He stayed silent, quiet enough that I shook my head. I took another sip. I could do this. I was patience personified . I could wait.

I absolutely could not wait.

“From his answer, there are a few options that spring to mind, so let’s get it out of the way. Are you planning to kill the emperor?” I fixed my eyes on his. Even a statue would crack if accused of regicide .

Asahi jerked back, blinking rapidly. “No, never. My oath to the emperor?—”

“So what did you ask him?” I held the cup delicately between my fingers.

“Because I’ll be honest, I’m always sympathetic to a good tragic love story.

Ask my mother how many times I begged to hear the story of the great northern bear’s son who fell in love with an iceberg.

But there’s a lot of ‘don’t ask me’ and ‘we can’t’ in that letter for you to have been asking him what color jacket he wanted for his birthday. ”

“I would never betray my oath,” Asahi said. “I have sworn to protect the emperor.”

“But you’re not protecting the emperor,” I pointed out. “You’re protecting me, and even stretching things to assume your oath covers people in House Atobe , you were protecting me before I agreed to join his house.”

“I…” He swallowed whatever answer he had.

“So it’s not regicide,” I said. “What is it?”

Asahi’s jaw set, and I knew I was going to lose him; prying him open would be delicate, and I had only an axe instead of lock picks. Eona? would have lock picks , I thought sourly.

A small part of me reminded myself that I’d have lock picks, too, if I’d only paid attention when she and I had attended lessons together. I moved my hand up and down, a plea, and Asahi’s eyes went down to the table, his cheek twitching from the effort to keep his face blank.

“I just want to know what’s coming so I can prepare.” I gestured to the tea. “So, right now, we’re not consort and Emperor’s Dog. We’re two men drinking tea and discussing the fact that one of them is participating in a desperately sad love story.”

Asahi slowly moved to the cup in front of him. His fingers twitched, and he brought it to his lips. “It is not sad.”

“It isn’t? Because I’ve seen children denied dessert who look less pathetic than you.” I tilted my head. “You know, in the north, we don’t even have guards for our… king. Why does your oath to the emperor deny you what’s clearly a very mutual love?”

“Our oath to the emperor means that we cannot love another. We cannot have any attachment that might make us hesitate to die for him.” Asahi’s cheek twitched again. “Any attachment that might supersede the promise we made the throne.”

“And I assume that while you might have family sympathetic enough to give you a bit of money if you should leave his service, Sagam does not.” I considered the situation. “Who are your parents?”

Asahi blinked at me, the slightest crease between his brows. At the window, Terror fluffed his feathers, coughing and muttering, “Bastard.”

“A mistress? A courtesan? A woman from the pleasure district?” I narrowed my eyes. “And… your father?”

I traced over his face again, trying to see any hint of familiarity.

“Is General Kacha,” I said, finally, seeing it at last, remembering the venom in his words when Kacha had let his goons loose on me, remembering all Kacha’s small comments about the superiority of soldiers to Dogs. “I thought you said it wasn’t regicide you were asking Sagam for.”

I didn’t even see Asahi move, just felt my own body answer. I slammed backward onto the floor. His blade passed over the air inches above my face, and I rolled as soon as it passed, pushing up and backing away from him. He was already on me, moving as fast as a borealis wolf at top speed.

Leaping back, I managed to grab hold of his arm, spinning us and using his momentum to drive him into the wall. I didn’t even remember pulling my dagger, but it was in my hand, ready for use. “We do not have to be at odds over this!”

Asahi grunted, and I shoved my blade tight into the flesh of his throat, pressing the edge of it into his skin without drawing blood.

“Do it,” he said, the motion dragging the blade just enough to draw a line of blood. “I don’t deserve mercy.”

“You want out, and you need money. I want information on General Kacha. We both want Tallu alive.” I almost choked on the words, realizing with a sudden certainty that they were true . I wanted him alive. My mother had sent me to kill him, and I wanted him alive .

“After what I’ve done, I don’t deserve to live,” Asahi said.

He bowed his head, and I pulled the blade back before it could actually do any damage. With a flip, I made it disappear into its sheath on my forearm.

“Don’t say that. Never say that. Loving isn’t a weakness. It’s not something we apologize for.” For some reason, my mind went to Tallu, the broken way he’d said that he didn’t deserve me, didn’t deserve the touch I was offering.

“I am thinking of giving up my oath for it. What else would you call it?” Asahi stepped forward, hand tensing on his blade, but then he let it drop, clattering to the floor in a way that wounded the part of me that was a warrior.

Carefully, I knelt, picking it up, checking it for damage.

The blade was weighted, heavy in my palms, and it must take amazing muscle to hold during battle.

There were no nicks on the blade, and the hilt was bound with soft leather, the pommel intricately carved, the lines continuing up to the blade.

“I would call it strength. I’m sure it would be much easier to stay, fulfill your oath, follow the life you’d planned for yourself.” I stood, offering him the blade.

The carvings on the metal looked random at first, but then I realized they must help him conduct electricity. With the blade, he would be able to more accurately direct his lightning.

“If it was, Sagam would agree with me.” Asahi drew his fingers along the flat of the blade before sheathing it. “He is the stronger of the two of us.”

“I don’t know. Defying your father, joining the Emperor’s Dogs, that seems pretty strong to me.” When Asahi glared, I shrugged. “As one person who was a massive disappointment to his father to another, it’s not easy.”

Asahi nodded, turning away.

“Here.” I took the purse from my mother, still full with coin, and tossed it on the ground between us. The imperial coins jangled together, entirely different from the sound of our blades clashing.

“What is this?” Asahi asked.

“An escape if you want it, a promise if you want to do something else instead.” I left it there, curious if he would take the bait.

“Do what instead?” Asahi asked quietly.

I grinned. “I think your father has military plans he’s hiding from Emperor Tallu. I want to know what they are.”