Page 21
Austin
I sat at my desk, flipping through the growing stack of paperwork that had been neglected while we were in Mexico. Club business, finances, shipment logs—things that should have been my focus, but my mind kept drifting. I couldn’t stop thinking about Emmy. About the way she moved through the compound like a ghost, silent and withdrawn. It wasn’t like her, and it sure as hell wasn’t sitting right with me.
My phone buzzed, pulling me from my thoughts. I glanced at the screen—Tank—and answered immediately.
“How’s he doing?”
“Better,” Tank said. “He’s awake more, talking a little. Doc says he’s healing faster than expected. He’s a tough bastard.”
I exhaled, some of the tension in my chest easing. “That’s good. He ready to come home?”
“Few more days. They wanna keep an eye on him, but he’s pushing to leave.” Tank hesitated before adding, “How’s Emmy?”
I leaned back in my chair, rubbing the back of my neck. “Not good.”
“Figured as much.” Tank sighed. “She’s been through hell, man. You getting anywhere with her?”
“No,” I admitted. “She barely looks at me.”
Tank was quiet for a beat. “You can’t let her sink into it, brother. She needs you to pull her out, even if she fights you on it.”
I knew that, knew it deep in my gut. But knowing and doing were two different things.
“What about The Ghost?” Tank asked. “Any movement?”
My jaw tightened. “Cole’s working his angles, but we both know this won’t be easy. The bastard’s careful. We’re gonna have to be smarter.”
Tank grunted. “Yeah, well, keep me posted. And don’t let Emmy shut you out.”
“I won’t.”
We hung up, and I sat there for a second, staring at my phone. Luke was coming home. That was a win. But the war wasn’t over.
I pushed to my feet and left my office, moving through the quiet halls of the clubhouse. Most of the brothers were still sleeping off last night’s run, but I knew exactly where I’d find Emmy.
Outside.
She’d been spending more and more time on the back deck like she needed the open space to breathe.
I stepped outside and found her sitting on the railing, legs pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. She was staring out at the tree line, lost in thought, her long hair falling over her face like a curtain.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my voice even.
She startled slightly, her grip tightening around her knees before she relaxed. “Hey.”
I stepped closer, leaning against the railing beside her. “Just got off the phone with Tank. Luke’s doing better. He’ll be home in a few days.”
Her breath hitched, but she didn’t look at me. “That’s good.”
“That’s all you’ve got to say?” I asked gently.
She swallowed hard, her fingers digging into her arms. “I’m happy he’s okay.”
I studied her, the tension in her frame, the way she wouldn’t meet my gaze. She was still in that dark place, still punishing herself for things that weren’t her fault.
I wasn’t gonna let her stay there. Not a chance in hell.
I sat beside her, threading my fingers through hers. She wouldn’t look at me, her gaze on the distant trees like she wanted to disappear into the forest. The sun was bright, warm with a slight breeze in the air, but I could see the conflict waging inside her.
I tightened my grip on her hand. “Hey, it’s me. I love you. Let me help you.”
Her shoulders curled inward as if she could make herself smaller. “I don’t even know where to start,” she whispered.
“Start anywhere.” I kept my voice low, steady. “With what happened in Mexico. You’ve told me everything. We’ve talked about it. You know it doesn’t change how I feel about you. Start with what’s been eating at you since we got back. Whatever’s in your head, you don’t have to carry it alone.”
She finally looked up at me, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I hate myself.”
My chest tightened. “Why? Did something else happen that you haven’t told me about? I thought we were moving past this.”
Her laugh was brittle, hollow. “Will I ever get past this? I’m not sure it’s possible because I killed a man. I took a life. And because before that, I—” Her breath caught mid-sentence. “Those things I did will haunt me for the rest of my life. That monster told me what to do, and I did it.”
She shook her head violently. “And the worst part? I—” She broke off, her whole frame trembling as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I got off, Austin. I hated him. I hated every second of it, but my body—” Her voice cracked. “How could I enjoy something so disgusting?”
My jaw clenched, fury burning hot in my veins—not at her, never at her, but at what had been done to her. I placed a palm gently on her face, forcing her to look at me again. “Listen to me. What happened to you wasn’t about pleasure. It wasn’t about consent. It was about control. He manipulated you, made you believe you had no choice, but you did what you had to do to get out alive. That doesn’t make you weak. That doesn’t make you dirty. That makes you strong. A fighter.”
A tear slipped down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my thumb. “I love you, Emmy. Nothing that happened changes that. If I have to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives, I will. I’ll not only tell you, I’ll show you by being by your side every step of our future together.”
She let out a shuddering breath. “I don’t feel strong.”
“You are.” I ran my hands up and down her arms, grounding her. “And you’re not alone in this. You think I don’t see the walls you’re putting up? That I don’t feel the way you flinch every time I get too close?” My voice softened. “I don’t want to lose you to this. I won’t.”
Her lips parted, a mix of pain and longing in her eyes. I leaned in, brushing my mouth over hers—gentle, patient, waiting for her to meet me halfway. When she didn’t pull away, I deepened the kiss, coaxing her back to me, back to us.
She exhaled against my lips, her fingers gripping my shirt as she kissed me back. It wasn’t urgent or frenzied. It was slow, searching, like she was trying to find herself in the warmth of my touch.
When we pulled apart, she hesitated, then whispered, “I think I need to talk to someone. I’m all mixed up inside.”
I nodded, pressing my forehead against hers. “Then we’ll find you someone. Online, so you don’t have to leave the compound if you don’t want to.”
Her shoulders sagged in relief. “Okay.”
I pulled her into my arms, holding her close. She wasn’t healed, not yet. But for the first time since we got back, she wasn’t running from me.
That was enough for now.
I sat at my desk, rubbing the tension from the back of my neck before picking up my phone and dialing Jax.
He answered on the first ring. "Yeah, Prez?"
"I need you to start digging into my old man’s business," I said. "Try to find any connection between The Ghost and the Kings of Chaos. There has to be something buried in the past that ties this bastard to us."
Jax was silent for a moment, then let out a breath. "You really think this goes that deep?"
"I know it does," I said. "The way he comes at me—this isn’t just business. It’s personal. He’s got a vendetta, and I need to know why. None of us will be safe until he’s either locked up for life or dead. I don’t plan on living the rest of my life looking over my shoulder."
"Alright, I’ll start digging. If there’s something there, I’ll find it."
"Good." I ended the call, leaning back in my chair. My gut told me that whatever the connection was, it had started long before I ever took over the club.
That night, I walked into the chapel for church, the room already filled with the men who had stood beside me through every battle. The air sparked with tension. They knew something big was coming. Riot, Luke, and Tank were on the phone, patched in, and everyone was waiting for me to speak.
I stood at the head of the table, hands braced on the wood as I looked around at my brothers. "It’s time for a new direction," I started. "We’ve made a lot of changes already, but now it’s time to make it official. No more gun runs. No more illegal shit. We’re moving this club forward.”
A murmur rippled through the room, but no one objected. They were waiting.
I continued. "We’re going to work with law enforcement—not as their errand boys, but as a group they turn to when the legal system has too many hoops to jump through. Our methods might stay in the gray, but we’ll be sanctioned to do what needs to be done. No one is going to force us out of our home, and we’re going to protect this town the way we should have been all along."
More nods, a few murmured agreements.
"We’re also going to get involved in the schools—mentoring, programs for kids who need guidance. If we want to make real change, we start there."
That provoked more discussion, some men shifting in their seats, but seeming open to what I proposed.
I let them talk, listening to the questions, answering every concern. When I was satisfied, I straightened. "It’s time to vote. All in favor?"
One by one, hands went up. A unanimous decision.
A weight I hadn’t realized I was carrying lifted from my shoulders. We were moving forward.
Then, as the tension broke, the mood in the room relaxed. Someone cracked a joke about me going soft, another that they’d all have to learn how to be role models. Laughter filled the room, a much-needed break after everything we’d been through.
I let myself smile. We weren’t done fighting. The Ghost was still out there. But tonight we had won something. Tonight, we had made history.
I knew the vote would go my way, but this was just the beginning. My brothers trusted me to lead them into a new era for the Kings of Chaos. The club was changing, and it felt like we were truly heading toward something better.
After church wrapped up, I stayed behind in the meeting room, letting the events of the night settle in. The Ghost was still lurking in the shadows, and while our decision to go legit was a big step forward, it wouldn’t keep the bastard from coming after us. If anything, it might push him to escalate his attacks. That’s why Jax’s search into my father’s past was more important than ever. If we could figure out why The Ghost was so hellbent on destroying us, we’d finally have the upper hand.
Pushing myself out of my chair, I made my way back to my office to go over the notes I’d scribbled down during the meeting. I still had calls to make and plans to set in motion, but there was one thing more important than all of that—Emmy.
She needed to hear this from me. She needed to know she wasn’t just stuck here, trapped in a world she didn’t ask to be a part of. The club was evolving, and she deserved to know she wasn’t the only one struggling with how to move forward.
As I made my way through the clubhouse, I caught sight of her sitting on the back deck again. The same spot where I’d told her about Luke earlier. She was staring out into the darkness, and I wondered how much of that darkness she still felt inside her. How much of it she thought she’d never be free of.
I stepped outside, the cool night air a stark contrast to the warmth still lingering inside from the body heat generated during the church meeting. “You planning on staying out here all night?” I asked, leaning against the railing beside her.
She didn’t startle, didn’t even glance my way. “Maybe.”
I watched her for a moment, taking in the way her arms were wrapped around her body like she was trying to hold something in—or maybe hold herself together. I’d lost count of how often I’d seen her like this after her rescue. “I need to talk to you.”
A slow blink, her eyes finally shifting toward me. “About what?”
I sighed, rubbing a hand over my jaw. “The club. I just had church with the guys. We voted on something big.”
That got her attention. She turned slightly, brow furrowing. “Big how?”
I met her gaze head-on. “We’re done with the illegal shit. No more gun runs, no more shady deals. We’re going legit.”
Her breath hitched, and for the first time in days, I saw something other than pain in her eyes. “You’re serious?”
I nodded. “Dead serious. We’re gonna be working with the cops in a way that lets us keep our freedom but also makes sure we’re using our skills for something that actually matters. Helping kids in schools, taking jobs that might fall into the gray area but are still legal.”
She looked away, back out into the dark. “And what about The Ghost?”
My jaw tightened. “He’s still out there. But we’re gonna find out why he’s after us, and when we do, I’ll end this.”
A beat of silence stretched between us before she whispered, “And me?”
“What about you, Emmy?”
She turned to face me fully. “What do I do? How do I move forward from this? I thought I knew who I was, but now…” Her voice cracked, and she shook her head. “Now I don’t know anything.”
I reached out, my fingers grazing her arm before settling on her wrist. “You’re still you. What happened to you doesn’t change that.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “You don’t get it.”
“I do.” My grip on her wrist tightened just enough to make her look at me. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to feel you’re drowning in your own head? To think that what’s been done to you, or what you’ve done, defines you? I’ve been there, Emmy. And I’ll be damned if I let you stay there.”
Her lip trembled, and for a second, I thought she might push me away again. But then she exhaled, shaky and unsure, and whispered, “I’m trying. I think I’m past the worst and then something triggers a memory, and I slip backward.”
“You don’t have to do it alone.” I lifted her hand, pressing it against my chest, right over my heart. “I’m right here.”
She stared at our joined hands, then at me, as if searching for something—maybe a reason to believe me. Maybe a reason to run. But after a long moment, she simply nodded, a single tear slipping down her cheek.
I wiped it away, then leaned in, pressing my forehead to hers. “We’ll figure this out together.
The tiniest bit of hope bloomed in my heart, and I felt like maybe—just maybe—we actually would.