Page 79 of Emmett

“A little,” she admits. “Are you?”

I nod. “A little.”

That doesn’t stop either of us. My hands move a mile a minute while I pull my belt away and shove my slacks to the floor before meeting her mouth once again with my own. I press her body against the door as I lift her legs, wrapping them over my hips, and I offer her no warning before giving her every inch of my cock.

A loud whine flies from her mouth as I bury myself deep inside of her and I press my lips against hers to quiet the sound. That stupid fucking song floods my ears no matter how I try to push it away. I pull my mouth from Mariah’s and fuck her harder, this time hoping against everything that she’ll cry out or scream my name or do fuckinganythingthat drowns out the noise.

Burying my face in the crook of her neck, I let out a whimper.

“Fuck.”

I’m desperate; I don’t think I can take one more note of this music. The voice singing reminds me of Nash, of thethings that he said to me, the way that he squeezed my throat as if he genuinely wanted me dead. Alongside it plays the sound of his voice telling me to get out of his house and the image of the hatred that burned behind his eyes. The only way that I can describe how this feels is…grief.

I’ve felt it before, when each of my grandparents died, but that was more like a low burn that ached for a while. This is sharp and stabbing and it comes in waves so vicious that it blinds me. It’s not a low burn, it’s fucking unbearable and it makes every inch of my body and soul scream.

“You’re crying,” Mariah pants at me, bringing a hand to wrap around the back of my neck.

“No I’m not.”

Yes, you are, idiot.

In as smooth a motion as I can, I withdraw from her and toss her over the desk next to us, forcing a yelp from her as I ball her dress in my hands and push back inside of her.

I try not to let my mind wander, but I can’t help it; it’s happened every time I’ve been with someone who wasn’t Nash. His scent fills my nose, the feel of his body pressed against mine etches itself into my skin, and his words fill my ears – even as moans pour from Mariah’s mouth that should act as reminders that Nash isn’t here.

Except for the fact that he’s always fucking here.

Bracing a hand on the desk next to her, I hold Mariah’s leg over the edge of it with the other while I pound my hips into her until she cries out through her orgasm and I feel my body tense, spilling into her with the same empty pleasure that’s come to me for the past three months.

“Shit,” I pant as I realize what I’ve just done to her. “I’mso sorry.”

Looking over her shoulder, she lets out a laugh. “I have an IUD and there’s a Plan B in my dresser. It’s afortressin here.”

“I’ll get tested in the morning.”

Turning to face me, she reaches up to squish my face between her hands and stares me in the eye. “Hon, shut up,” she laughs. “Get me a tissue and we’re even.”

I hesitate as I pull my slacks into place, stuffing my dick back into them, but I move to grab her a few tissues and hand them to her. I wait while she wipes my cum from her thighs, and I take the tissues from her when she’s finished to toss them into the trash can behind the desk; it can be someone else’s problem now.

“Hey…do you have any party favors?”

“Youwant—” I cut her off with a nod. “Yeah, in my car.”

Grabbing her elbow, I tow her with me to the parking lot, where her little red coupe is waiting for us. We climb inside as if we’re doing some shady back alley drug deal or something, and she pops open the glove compartment.

“Wanna be warm and fuzzy or float around outside your body?”

“Uh,” I blow a breath out between pursed lips, “I dunno, surprise me, I guess.”

“You’ll like this,” she tells me as she picks up a bright purple pill and drops it into my hand. “It’s a good time.”

I barely wait for her to finish her sentence before placing the tablet onto my tongue and using my saliva to swallow it down with a grimace. “Is it fast?” She nods as she settles back into her seat. “Aren’t you gonna take one?”

“You need a babysitter your first time rolling,” she chuckles with a shake of her head.

Too many minutes pass and I don’t feel a goddamn thing. I anxiously tap my fingers against my thigh, trying to focus on searching every corner of my body and mind in hopes that I’ll feel it workingsomewhere, but I don’t. It’s hard not to be a little disappointed that the first time that I’ve taken anything stronger than weed, it’s doing absolutely nothing for me.

“I think I need another one.”