Page 19

CHAPTER 19

“C aleb, would you please talk to me?” Jonah stood just inside Caleb’s room, watching as his brother shoved clothes into a large suitcase he’d placed on the bed.

“There’s nothing left to say,” Caleb said. “Go back to your whore and leave me alone.”

Jonah tamped down his immediate anger with real effort. “Her name is Elora, and she isn’t a whore. She’s my friend.”

“Whatever,” Caleb said with an indifferent shrug. He yanked open the dresser’s top drawer and scooped up a handful of underwear and socks. “I have nothing to say to you, Jonah.”

“We’re brothers,” Jonah said. “We’re family, and you’re going to walk away without -”

“Nimera and the fae are my family now.” Caleb dropped the clothes into his suitcase and returned to the dresser for more.

“Your family tried to kill me,” Jonah said.

“Look, I’ll admit that smashing you in the head with a pipe was a dick move on their part, but they also know how dangerous you are and -”

“Because you told them!” Jonah paced the room. “You told them I was a shapeshifter. Why would you do that, Caleb? You know how dangerous that is for me .”

Shame flickered across Caleb’s face before he squared his shoulders. “Nimera and I don’t have any secrets.”

“So, she told you that her ex-boyfriend tried to kill me, then?”

Caleb glared at him, his brown eyes practically spitting sparks. “Dairem isn’t her ex! She never loved him. And do you think you could be a little less dramatic about the killing thing, Jonah? You have a hard head. I’m sure you were fine.”

“Your family took me out in the middle of the woods. They used their magic to beat the shit out of me.”

“Bullshit,” Caleb scoffed. “Their magic doesn’t work as well when you’re in your animal form.”

“I couldn’t shift to an animal,” Jonah said.

Caleb paused in tossing some t-shirts into the suitcase. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not important.” Jonah joined him at the bed, giving him a pleading look. “What is important is that your fae friends used their magic, including those fucking poisonous thorns, to injure me seriously, and then they left me for dead. I would have died if it hadn’t been for Elora and her healing spells.”

Caleb stared at him. “The whore is a witch?”

Jonah’s temper snapped, and he grabbed Caleb by his jacket collar, shoving him up against the wall so hard that Caleb grunted in pain.

“Elora is not a whore. Call her that again, baby brother and you will regret it. Am I clear?”

Caleb nodded quickly. “Clear.”

“Good.” Jonah released him, and Caleb cracked his neck nervously before clearing his throat.

“I didn’t come here to fight, Jonah. I want to get my shit and leave, okay?”

“Look at what they did to me.” Jonah turned so Caleb could see his back.

Caleb studied it, his brown skin lightening as he rubbed compulsively at his jaw. “I don’t… they wouldn’t do that, Jonah.”

“Caleb, use your head!” Jonah turned to face him. “You are literally staring at proof that they would. Look, I know that the fae’s influence can be strong, but -”

“I am not under their influence!” Caleb snarled before stomping to the dresser and grabbing another handful of clothes. “For fuck’s sake, Jonah, stop treating me like a child. I am in love with Nimera, and she is in love with me.”

“How do you know that?”

“What?” Caleb dropped the clothes into the suitcase. “How does anyone know they’re in love, Jonah? Jesus, I know you’re a killer who doesn’t care about anyone but yourself, but do you actually expect me to explain what love is to you?”

Hurt and shame tore through Jonah like a wayward bullet. He staggered back, nausea churning in his guts.

Regret flickered across Caleb’s face. “Jonah, I didn’t…”

“I love you, and I care about you, Caleb,” Jonah said hoarsely. “I’m sorry if that hasn’t always been clear, but I swear it’s true. I want you to be safe.”

“I am safe,” Caleb said. “Nimera and her family would never hurt me.”

“But you’re okay with them nearly killing me?”

Frustration crossed Caleb’s face again. “Stop with the dramatics, Jonah. Seriously. You’re a goddamn shapeshifter and a killer for hire, and you’re very good at your job. So, stop acting like the fae even had a chance of killing you. It was stupid of you to let yourself be injured by them in some weird, misguided hope that it would make me abandon Nimera and return to you.”

Jonah’s mouth dropped. “Are you fucking kidding me, Caleb? That is not what happened.”

Caleb zipped up his suitcase and slung one of the guitars over his back. “Look, this was a mistake doing this while you were home. I’ll come back for the rest of my stuff when you’re not around.”

He grabbed his suitcase and shouldered past Jonah. Jonah followed him down the stairs, his temper getting the best of him. “Seriously, Caleb? You’re going to walk away from me for some girl you just fucking met? I know I haven’t always been around, but -”

“Haven’t been around?” Caleb whirled around, bitter laughter escaping his throat. “Jesus Christ, Jonah, you don’t fucking get it, do you? I am an afterthought to you. I always have been, and I always will be.”

“The fuck you are!” Jonah snapped. “I love you, Caleb, and just because how I show that love isn’t good enough for you doesn’t mean you get to pretend like I’m some cold-hearted monster.”

“Aren’t you, though?” Caleb asked. “You and your mother ruined our father’s life, and you don’t even care.”

“I loved Dad,” Jonah said.

“You broke his heart!” Caleb shouted. “I spent my childhood hearing about how much he missed you, how much he worried about you, while you were off learning how to be a killer. Then you waltzed back into our lives like it was no big deal, and Dad was so happy to have you back that he pretended it didn’t matter what you did for a living. But he hated it, Jonah! He hated it, just like I do.”

“He never said anything to me, and I -”

“Of course, he didn’t. It didn’t matter that you were a killer. You were still his favourite.” Caleb choked out more bitter laughter before yanking open the front door.

“Dad didn’t have favourites,” Jonah said. “Caleb, please, stay and talk to me. We can work this out, okay?”

“I’m done,” Caleb said. “I don’t want to see you or talk to you. I’ll text you when I’m picking up the rest of my stuff. Don’t be here. If you are, I won’t stay, and you can toss my shit.”

“Caleb, wait!”

Caleb left the house, slamming the door behind him. Jonah slumped against the wall, staring at his shaking hands as anger, sorrow, and guilt coursed through him.

* * *

Elora opened the greenhouse door. Her eyes widened at the unexpected warmth, and she unzipped her jacket and took off her mittens, stuffing them into her jacket pockets.

The greenhouse had thick glass walls with metal framing and a sloped glass roof. The setting sun shone beams of light into the greenhouse, highlighting the wooden counters that lined both sides of the building. Pots made of various materials - clay, plastic, glass, and tin - were everywhere. They sat on the counters, the shelving below the counters, and they were lined up in neat rows along the cement floor and hanging from eyehooks attached to the metal framing. Bags of dirt were piled neatly in one corner, and there was a metal shelving unit that held numerous gardening tools, fertilizer, and a few plastic tubs with labels adhered to them. “Seeds” was written across the labels in neat, bold writing.

Three different garden hoses were coiled neatly on hooks on the walls, and even now, standing empty in the winter, the greenhouse had an inviting scent of plants and soil.

Her gaze narrowed in on Jonah, who stood at the far end of the greenhouse where a long wooden table butted up against one glass wall. He wasn’t wearing a jacket, just his boots, a t-shirt, and pajama pants, but she doubted he was cold, not with how warm it was in the greenhouse. But his big body was noticeably stiff with tension, and he stared silently at the snowy yard.

Elora joined him, sliding her arm around his waist as she stared at the table. The tabletop was dirty and scarred, and two towering stacks of plastic seed starting trays sat on it beside a bag of soil, a small gardening shovel, and a few packages of flower seeds.

She squeezed his hip, and Jonah turned his gaze to hers. Her chest went tight at the look of pain on his face, and she wrapped her other arm around him. “I’m sorry, Jonah.”

“Did you hear it all?”

She hesitated before nodding. “Yes. I wasn’t deliberately listening, but -”

He laughed bitterly. “We weren’t exactly being quiet.”

“Your brother is wrong, honey,” she said quietly. “You’re not a monster.”

He sucked in a breath. “I am.”

She reached up and gripped his chin, forcing him to look at her. “No, you are not. Don’t let your brother’s anger and your guilt convince you of something that isn’t true, Jonah.”

“You don’t even know me,” he said.

“Bullshit, I don’t,” she said. “You were still you, even in your crow form, right?”

He nodded, and she released his chin and stepped in front of him, sliding her other arm around him and clasping her hands together at the small of his back. “I’ve lived with you for two years. I know who you are, Jonah.”

“I was me, but it wasn’t the same, and you know that,” he said.

She just shrugged. “You aren’t the person you used to be, even if you don’t fully accept it yet.”

“I had no idea how much he hated me,” he said quietly.

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s just angry and holding onto a lot of resentment.”

“If I had known he felt that way, I would have tried harder, done things differently, and made sure he knew how much I loved him. I swear, Elora.”

“I know you would have,” she said. “But Caleb chose not to share his feelings with you, and that isn’t your fault. You can’t be blamed for not knowing how angry Caleb was with you if he hid it from you.”

He sighed and put his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest, and he kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry I left the house without saying anything to you.”

She smiled a little. “You’re just in the greenhouse in your backyard, Jonah. You didn’t go to Siberia.”

His low chuckle eased some of her worry for him. “I know. I guess after two years of being with you constantly, it feels weird when I’m not.”

“For me, too,” she said.

“Yeah?”

She raised her head and smiled at him. “Yeah.”

She pressed her cheek against his chest again, listening to the solid thump of his heart. After a moment, she said, “Why is it so warm in here?”

“Electric heat,” he said. “It was expensive to have it installed, but I wanted to be able to garden in the winter.”

She lifted her head again. “You like to garden?”

He nodded. “Love it, actually. My dad loved it, too, and I initially started doing it as a way to get to know him, you know?”

She nodded, and he stared out the glass walls again, his gaze going hazy with memory. “But it didn’t take long for me to love it as much as he did. He had a greenhouse in his yard and a big vegetable garden, and we spent a lot of time planting and weeding and harvesting together. I prefer flower gardening, but my dad had a knack for growing food. One time, he grew an enormous pumpkin. He entered it in a contest at some dinky town’s fall festival. Caleb and I had to lift the damn thing and carry it to his truck, Dad hollering at us not to drop it the entire time.”

A smile crossed his face. “He won second place and was so proud. I still have the ribbon they gave him.”

“He sounds great,” she said.

“He was,” Jonah said. “I didn’t get nearly enough time with him, but I loved him.”

She rubbed his back in slow, gentle circles, being careful not to hurt him as he sighed deeply. “I miss him, and I miss gardening.”

She kissed his chest again. “Then you should do some gardening again.”

He picked up the garden shovel, running his thumb over the wooden handle. “There are some flowers that, if I start them from seed now in the greenhouse, they’ll be ready for transplanting by the spring. Before the witch trapped me, I was digging a new flowerbed in front of the deck to add more flowers to the yard.”

“If you're feeling better, we could go to the greenhouse where Cece works tomorrow afternoon after my work shift,” she said.

He set the shovel on the table and smiled at her. “I’d like that.”

“Good. Then it’s a date,” she said.

He studied her before rubbing one thumb along her cheekbone. She turned her head and kissed the tip of it. “Would you like to talk some more about your fight with your brother? I can make us a quick dinner and -”

He shook his head before leaning down to press his forehead against hers. “What I want, little witch, is to finish what we started earlier.”

She released her breath in a shuddering sigh. “Jonah, are you sure? I know you’re upset about what happened with Caleb, and your back is -”

“My back is fine, and I don’t want to think about my fight with Caleb anymore. I want to make you feel good,” he said. “Please, Elora. I need you.”

“I need you, too,” she whispered.

He took her hand, linking their fingers together, and led her toward the greenhouse door.