Page 56 of Elizabeth in Scotland (Elizabeth and Darcy Abroad #2)

Elizabeth leant back, feeling as though Jane had slapped her across the face.

Tears pricked at her eyes, and she opened the door slowly, being careful not to let it creak.

“Good night, Jane,” she whispered as she walked out.

She closed the door softly behind her and went across the hall to her own room.

Her shoulders bowed with despair, Elizabeth undressed and changed into her nightgown before slipping into bed.

Even with all the harsh words they had exchanged, she felt terribly sad for the mistake Jane was making, for her marriage to Mr Collins could do nothing but make both of them miserable.

As she lay in bed, one question raced through her mind over and over again: Had she ever really known Jane at all?

The door creaked open several minutes later, and she sat up, hoping that it was Jane come to make amends. “Jane?” Elizabeth whispered into the darkness.

“Mary,” her middle sister answered. “I am sorry to disappoint.”

“Oh, Mary. You do not disappoint. I only thought —” Elizabeth let her words trail off. It did not matter what she had thought. Things would likely never be right between her and Jane again. “Come in, if you like.”

Mary did, closing the door softly behind her before padding in her stocking feet over to the bed. “May I?” she asked, pointing to the coverlet.

Mary had never been one for late-night talks or sisterly conversations, but Elizabeth scooted over and let her sister crawl between the sheets. They lay down and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “Are you well, Lizzy?” Mary asked, breaking the silence.

Elizabeth sighed. “Not really,” she admitted. “Did you hear any of that?”

“Yes, I did. It was hard not to hear, since we share a wall,” she said. “I am sorry, Lizzy. I do not know what has got into Jane lately.”

“Neither do I,” Elizabeth said. Tears streamed down her face, and she was glad that she had already blown out the candle so Mary would not see.

“Lizzy?” Mary asked, her voice sounding as hesitant as if she were a little girl, and not the nearly grown woman she was.

“Yes, Mary?”

“How do you know if you’re in love?”

Elizabeth was quiet for a long time. “I cannot say exactly, Mary. I know that when I am with Mr Darcy, I cannot seem to breathe, with my heart all aflutter. But it is deeper than that. Before we were engaged, I never dreamed I would have a chance with him. I did not dare to hope. All I wanted was what was best for him, even if it was not with me.” She sighed and turned onto her side.

“I think that is what true love is. It is seeking the best for someone, even if you get nothing in return. It is seeing the best in them.”

“But what if you have never met the person you are in love with?” Mary asked.

Elizabeth stalled for a moment, trying to comprehend what her sister was asking. “Are you speaking for yourself, Mary? Perhaps of Mr Campbell?”

Even in the darkness, Elizabeth could sense the sheepish smile on Mary’s face.

“Yes. He replied to Papa’s letter — or rather, to my letter, for I am afraid my postscript was as long as all the rest put together.

He told me all about Scotland and Strathalt House.

And he has also said he hopes we may meet in person when Papa next comes to Scotland.

I know it will sound nonsensical, but I think I might be in love.

Or at least, I have the hope of love.” Mary’s voice, usually so quiet and controlled, held a note of breathless joy. “I never felt this way before.”

Elizabeth was relieved that Jane’s announcement had not been the thing to upset her.

“Well, I have had the pleasure of meeting Mr Campbell in person, and I am convinced that the two of you have a good chance of finding love. Even so, love is more of a choice than something you fall into. Mr Darcy and I have had our battles to overcome, misunderstandings being chief among them.”

“But you overcame them,” Mary said eagerly. “And perhaps that means that there is still hope that you and Jane will recover from whatever has gone wrong between you. It may only take some time.”

Elizabeth did not want to crush her hopes, but she had little hope that their crumbling relationship could still be saved. Perhaps there were just some things that were too far gone. “I do not know, Mary. I have tried. Now, the rest will be up to Jane.”

Mary nodded. “I am sorry, Lizzy. You have always been so close to Jane.”

“I love all my sisters,” Elizabeth said and turned over onto her back again, holding out her arm so Mary could snuggle up beside her, just like they had done when they were little girls.

Elizabeth felt sorry for Mary. When Kitty had come along so quickly after her, then Lydia, she had not got the attention that Jane and Elizabeth had got from their mother.

Soon, Mary was asleep and turned away from Elizabeth, but remained snuggled beside her in the bed.

Elizabeth let out a long breath, saddened at the thought that there were not many of these sisterly connections left to her.

She would soon be a married woman, starting a new adventure and a new family of her own.

Perhaps one day, a relationship would blossom between Mary and Mr Campbell. She deserved a good man and a good situation in life. As for Jane, Elizabeth could do little more to help her embittered sister, no matter how much she wished she could.