Page 13 of Edge (Killers Inc. #2)

Edge nodded. He glanced around as he moved Mickey’s way. “This is a gorgeous dance room. Has Rain seen this? Minus the playroom, he’d be jealous.”

“Yeah. He’s been in here.” Mickey didn’t look at Edge. He couldn’t. Mickey carefully placed the mask in the box.

Edge grabbed the roses for him. “That mask is fully functional. It’s an open invitation to join us for any mission.”

“I appreciate the trust, but I’d only be in the way. Your team is better off without me.” He walked toward the door that led into the hallway without looking to see if Edge followed.

Edge was right on his heels. “We’re really not. I’m not.”

Mickey didn’t respond. He never knew what to say. Conversation was uncomfortable to him, especially the hard talks. He made his way to his bedroom so they could speak privately.

Edge closed the door behind him. “Where would you like these?” He motioned with the roses, showing what he meant.

Mickey glanced around, looking for a spot, and it hit him. He wanted the flowers. If they meant love, he wanted that too. “On the dresser, I suppose. It kind of gets sunlight. Do they need sunlight? I don’t know shit about flowers.”

Edge shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably.” He put them where Mickey had indicated.

“They look good right here, though.” While he worked to center the flowers in exactly the middle of the dresser, Edge spoke as if he couldn’t do so while looking at Mickey.

“I guess I could’ve brought these over myself since I was coming.

But I know they made it safely this way, and I wasn’t sure if I’d lose my nerve halfway here.

This household isn’t like mine. No one batted an eye at you getting flowers and Beau showed up with them too. ”

Mickey sat on the edge of the bed and watched Edge.

“Love is a good thing here. It hasn’t always lived under this roof.

This was actually a pretty miserable job before Kylo came along.

” Actually, it had improved quite a bit after Beau’s first wife committed suicide, but Mickey didn’t want to say that.

He might have done the same in her shoes.

When it became obvious Edge couldn’t fuss with the flowers any longer, he paced. His gaze still steered clear of Mickey. “Are you okay? Have you fully recovered from your binge?”

“No.”

“Oh. Can I get you something? Another Gatorade? Something for a headache?”

He truly was the guy who looked out for everyone else, all while knowing he would get zero love in return. “No. I mean, I’m not okay.”

Edge stopped pacing and focused on him. “What’s wrong?” He really looked concerned and totally convinced Mickey was over him. Just like that.

“I’m not okay because I’m in love with you and I know you’ll never love me back. You care. I know that much, but I don’t think love is something you’ll ever give anyone.”

Edge didn’t react and still Mickey felt how deeply his words cut.

“Maybe some people can’t be deprogrammed.

” He made a helpless motion. “It’s like I’m one of two people and I don’t know how to be something in between.

Either I’m the biggest mess anyone has ever seen, or I’m the one in control.

Without that tight hold, then I’m always that first one.

But the hardest thing about being the guy who holds it all together is that everyone sees me exactly the way you do.

Do you really think I don’t love my brothers?

That I’m incapable. Do you honestly believe I don’t love you? ”

Mickey heard it weaved through his monotonous tone. The hurt. The bitterness. The love. But Mickey needed him to break past this with at least him or he would always be the one tossed in the street every time something triggered him.

“I don’t know. There’s a part of me that wants to believe, but I had believed with every fiber of my being that we were perfect, and I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry.”

Edge’s mask slipped. “Then what do you want to hear? What do you need me to say? Because I don’t know how to be who you want.

But I love you and I’m trying my ass off here, whether you see it or not.

I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry I’m damaged.

I’m devastated that I failed you. You’re the only person who has ever come to that house just for me.

I’m pretty sure you’re the only person who even realizes I’m human and now you’re saying you don’t see me either. ”

Mickey didn’t think Edge realized he cried or shouted. But Mickey saw the walls falling. He couldn’t look away from the passion the real Edge showed.

He held Mickey’s stare, looking completely wrecked. “I need you to… I just need you.”

“Come here.”

Edge looked defeated as he crossed the room.

Mickey snagged Edge’s hips and towed him closer until he stood between Mickey’s knees. He didn’t release him. “When you were breaking things off, tell me what was going through your head.”

Edge’s hands rose and fell. “I don’t know. It was just like my brain was trapped in a loop of fear and anger. No logic whatsoever cut through. It was like I stood by helpless, watching myself wreck everything, and I couldn’t stop it. But you’ve already told me you don’t want to hear excuses.”

Mickey massaged Edge’s hips. “I’m asking for a reason because I need to know what your plan is to stop it in the future. If you can’t tell me you’re trying, then why should I?”

“I talked to Austen. He started me on some meds. It’s too soon to know if they’ll work, but if they don’t, he says there’re others we can try.”

Try was exactly the word he wanted to hear. There was no hope for them if nothing changed. “Okay. Do you love me?”

Edge’s features softened. He set his hands on Mickey’s shoulders—like he wanted to touch Mickey but was scared of rejection. “I do. If you need me to say it in some certain tone, then I’m doomed to fail you. All I can do is say I love you and keep saying it until you—hopefully—believe.”

Mickey urged him even closer. “I hope you intend to keep saying it. Otherwise, it’ll be a long life for me without affirmation.

Plus, I intend to say it—a lot. I love you.

Not the guy who leads successful missions, even though I know that’s you.

I love you. The human behind all of that.

That’s the guy I love. Can I please fucking have him? Because I thought we were happy.”

“It hurts me to hear you ask for my love when you don’t deserve to have to do that. I hate that I destroyed something so amazing. Fuck.”

Mickey felt his frustration. He shot to his feet and claimed Edge’s mouth. The ugly desperation he had felt the past few days poured into their kiss. He didn’t want to be alone again.

Edge always felt so much that it choked him and made him useless in any sort of relationship.

People thought he was cold. Really, he just didn’t know how to be like everyone else.

From the very beginning, it was like Mickey saw him.

Edge didn’t know how to lose him. He didn’t think he could survive it.

Edge was equally aware he didn’t deserve forgiveness.

Mickey chuckled against his lips. “I can’t believe you wore this shirt.”

Edge had no shame any longer. “I ran errands in it too.”

Mickey laughed harder.

“You should put yours on and we could go to lunch.”

Mickey’s sexy green gaze held his stare. “Or you could take yours off and stay here.”

“I can do that.”

Mickey slowly pushed the shirt up Edge’s torso while he held Edge’s stare. Edge couldn’t look away. Just like the very first time he saw those eyes in his rearview mirror, he was transfixed. Bewitched.

“I don’t know what happened to me the first time I saw you, but I’ve never felt so obsessed.

” He thought he would feel embarrassed or dumb talking about his feelings, but he didn’t.

“You were in the back of that van, and I looked up and caught your gaze in the mirror. Something about you just struck me.” Mickey removed Edge’s shirt and Edge kept spilling his every thought, even as Mickey unbuttoned his jeans.

“You were so cocky and sure I would regret ever fucking with you. I don’t know.

You just made me crave… life, I guess. I wanted.

” Edge paused. He didn’t want to sound pitiful, but he was. “I wanted you to see me too.”

Mickey slowly slid the zipper down on Edge’s jeans. His gaze never wavered from holding Edge’s stare. “I see you.”

He knew that. “Please don’t stop.”

“You should make love to me.”

At Mickey’s statement, Edge worked his shirt up and over his head, revealing Mickey’s sexy upper body.

It was so obvious how hard he worked on his body, and Edge loved it.

The guy was ten years older than Edge and looked way better.

He knew Mickey had to stay in shape so he could protect Kylo, and Edge loved looking at him, but Edge also knew he would love Mickey no matter how he looked.

That didn’t stop him from lowering his head and licking the nipple that had his attention.

Mickey moaned.

Edge’s entire body reacted to the sound from his mind to his toes. Mickey got him hotter than anyone ever had. He went to work on Mickey’s jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them before pushing them down his hips. Edge just wanted to be closer. He wanted to feel his skin against him.

They pushed and tugged at each other’s clothes until they were nude.

Mickey kept capturing Edge’s mouth like he couldn’t stop.

Their kisses were always so intense, Edge had no idea how they ended up on the bed with Mickey beneath him.

Edge savored Mickey’s mouth while he reached between them and held their cocks together.

He moved against Mickey, making love to him the way he said he would.

For his sanity’s sake, this was the only sexual interaction they had anymore.

He wondered sometimes if he disappointed Mickey, but he couldn’t hurt him.

Learning he had believed himself straight before now made things worse.

Edge wasn’t disappointed, though. He just wanted the intimacy.

Mickey strained beneath him, making sounds that had Edge ready to blow. Everything about Mickey made him hot as hell. It suddenly hit him all over again that he had lost this. He had shoved Mickey from his life like it wouldn’t fucking kill him.

Edge pressed his forehead against Mickey’s and stared into his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” Even he heard the way his voice broke.

Mickey held his face. “Stop. We’re fine. Now give me your cum.”

Edge never looked away as he tried to do just that. He hadn’t known a person could feel so connected to someone else. It got harder to hold his eyes open. The pleasure was too much.

“That’s it, beautiful. Come for me.”

Edge couldn’t disobey. He cried out as cum coated his fingers.

Edge didn’t stop stroking until Mickey joined him.

It was sexy as fuck, watching him blow. His back bowed, and he made a sound that nearly made Edge come again.

He had never felt so high on life. Whatever it took, he wouldn’t fail Mickey again.