Page 1 of Eddie (Romance & Revolutions #7)

Shelby

“Dear Fairy Godstalker.”

No.

“Dear Fairy Godhacker?”

Was that any better?

Were they supposed to be two words or one?

“Okay, there has to be a cute way to address this letter.” I’d started out with Sir and had deleted that so fast my Word doc had glitched. “One that doesn’t make him sound fictional or like I’m using some kind of derogatory slang.”

I was pretty sure my hacker-stalker/behind-the-scenes friend was male and gay but that was mostly instinct and good gaydar.

My ability to detect deadbeat assholes was horrendous, but my gaydar was on point and could pick out a closeted guy a mile away. Unfortunately, the combination had led me into a variety of terrible dates and incredibly unhealthy relationships until I’d just given up trying to meet anyone.

Which was probably why every ad I’d gotten for the last month was for a dating app or matchmaking service. It was clearly an order to get out more but I just couldn’t, and it felt like time to explain that before he did something drastic like trying to sign me up for one of them.

It would end up being like that box meal service disaster all over again…but only with people I didn’t want to actually date.

Having instructions didn’t make me a chef and going out to dinner with someone didn’t make us compatible.

“Okay, I can do this.” Eventually. For the moment, I simply pushed away from my desk and started wandering around my apartment.

It was too small to really work off any frustration but it felt like I was doing something productive. “You’ve got this. It’s just Henry the Hacker. He’s nice. He’s helpful. He got your revenge porn pictures off the internet really fast. He’s not going to think you’re weird for wanting a Dom.”

Maybe?

Hopefully?

Ugh.

“Aside from all those articles about making good decisions in dating popping up, he never said I was at fault and didn’t seem to think it was weird.” That asshole’s ability to tie me up and make me look pretty had been the only good thing about that relationship.

I just shouldn’t have let an asshole tie me up.

It sounds obvious but it wasn’t back then.

“But Henry the Hacker fixed that and has been helpful ever since.” He liked being helpful and was kind of pushy, so I figured he had latent Dom instincts at the very least. “So he’ll understand even if he doesn’t realize why.”

It felt like a lot of people I’d met online started out as giving off Dom or sub vibes before they realized what they were, but since I hadn’t actually met my hacker friend in person, it was just my best guess.

“He’s helpful at the very least.” He really liked making things easier for me…even if I didn’t want the help. “You just need to figure out how to ask for what you want.”

Henry was really good at reading my mind…and possibly my search history and the books on my e-reader and the dirty book I’d tried to write that was still saved on my computer.

But he was helpful?

Maybe.

Pushy was a variety of helpful at the very least.

“It’d be different if I was upset about how helpful he got.” Then it would’ve been something negative like stalking. That wasn’t what our situation was, though. “I like helpful people.”

One of them, at least.

“I’m just using my resources.” Yes, like all the websites said for getting a new job.

“I need to use my resources appropriately and without feeling guilty. If Henry asked me for help with something like a recommendation, I’d give him a glowing one.

He’s resourceful and really sticks with a project when he commits to something. ”

If I’d be helpful too, it shouldn’t be an imposition to ask for help from him.

“This is just help that I actually want.” I eventually learned to cook that chicken and pasta dish…and those open-faced hamburger things. “It’ll be fine.”

I just wasn’t sure the best way to reach him.

Randomly searching for BDSM dating sites had him erasing my search history again and didn’t get me the responses I was looking for. I’d just been shown every vanilla dating site in the entire country and even a few that were based around small religious sects.

That had been really interesting but incredibly unhelpful, so I thought it was probably the actual algorithm getting confused. Some things Henry couldn’t control and the ad systems going nuts seemed to be one of them. Oh, he’d definitely started the chaos but it’d spiraled out of control.

“You can do it.” Subtle wasn’t working and I hadn’t figured out any other alternatives. “This has to work, so you have to do it.”

It really shouldn’t be hard to find someone sane to tie me up, but it was.

“Let’s try this again.” Forcing my legs to take me over to the computer, I sat down and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“This is the time of night that he gets bossy very quickly, so there’s a ninety percent chance he’s already poking at my computer behind the scenes to see what I’m doing. ”

I knew that because if I tried to buy anything online past nine at night he made my banking info glitch.

One problem with too many drinks and not enough common sense and he remembered it forever.

“It’s not my fault too many sites have one-click ordering these days.” And some drinks were just very good. “But I’m sober and can still make questionable decisions, so let’s see what Henry does.”

Dear Personal Stalker,

Thank you for all your help with the pictures situation and with your encouragement to learn to cook and to start dating again. However, I would like you to point me in the direction of the right dating site for my specific needs.

I don’t need a religious-based option or the one for omegas who are looking to be the alpha of their family.

Honestly, that one confused me and I think it was an algorithm recommendation, not one from you.

I would, however, appreciate help finding a dating site that pairs a dominant partner with a more submissive one.

However they need to word it is fine with me. I’ll learn the right wording. I would just like to find a male partner who is dominant in at least the bedroom and who is smart enough to learn to safely tie me up.

And yes, I will do a better job of making sure they’re sane this time.

Lesson learned.

Sincerely,

Shelby

Picking my hands up off the keyboard, I forced them onto my lap so I didn’t give in to the urge to hit the delete key again. The feeling was so strong and my heart was beating so loudly that I pushed back from the computer again.

Just the pretense of getting space from the ridiculous decision made me feel better, but it wouldn’t last. The wait would kill me if Henry’s response didn’t.

What would he do?

Would he change my ads again?

Send recommendations for therapists?

“No, that guy was just weird. Most people don’t have therapists like that on speed dial.

” I really had the worst dating luck ever.

“Henry’s going to come through for me. He likes helping me make good decisions and he even helped me find that delivery service that sends all the fruits and veggies already cut up and cute. ”

I’d stopped ordering those when I’d lost my job, but that was going to be the first service I signed back up for once I worked out the job thing.

But until I got that handled, I was going to focus on other personal projects.

Having goals was important and all the self-help articles said I needed to have goals I was reaching toward so that the universe would send me a job too. I wasn’t completely sure how they were connected but I’d read it on three different sites so that had to mean something.

I was going to send out the signals I wanted the universe to notice, and me and the universe were going to start with my love life.

Or at least getting me tied up so I could have a really good orgasm.

I’d take what I could get as long as that was part of the initial package.

Oh fuck.

My cursor was moving.

“Deep breath.” Having to explain a panic attack would be really hard if I had to type it out. “You’re going to be fine. Henry is very helpful.”

My name isn’t Henry.

“Duh.” I wasn’t dumb enough to think it was. “I needed something to call you.”

Shoot.

Reaching for the keyboard, I was dumbfounded when words started appearing on the screen again.

Don’t be snarky.

I was not going to promise that.

I was however going to worry.

“Are you supposed to be listening to me? I’m not sure that falls under the category of helpful.” It would explain why the article on making sure I didn’t have my computer in my bedroom had popped up so many times. “But thank you for making sure I left it in the kitchen.”

I was going to get a nice desk at some point but I’d put that plan on hold when the whole job problem had popped up.

You’re welcome.

When he moved the cursor down to the next line, I realized he wasn’t going to apologize for the watching me or listening to me thing.

Definitely a guy.

Are you sure finding a Dom and someone to explore restraints with is a good idea?

“No, but it’s what I’m going to do.” I wasn’t stupid…

well, not that stupid. I was, however, going to overshare with my invisible friend.

“I liked it until he turned out to be a dick and I’ve tried regular dating.

It’s painful. So if I’m going to end up with problems in the long run, I’d rather get something out of it in the short term. ”

And for some insane reason orgasms while I was tied up were a thousand times better than regular ones.

I wasn’t sure if I’d have to explain that to Not-Henry but he seemed to accept that without much pushback.

Fine. Do you want me to fix you up with one guy or do you want to meet a variety of Doms in a social setting?

What?

How was that an option?

Stop gaping like a fish. That doesn’t give me enough to go on.

Nope. Hands on the table naughty boy.

Oops.

Closing my mouth, I moved my wandering hand back up to the table and off my lap. “I wasn’t doing anything inappropriate.”

Not yet, anyway.

The picture of a laughing cat that appeared in the document said he didn’t believe me.

“You’re such a brat.” But he was a brat who seemed to be the gatekeeper of the local BDSM scene, so I wasn’t going to complain too much. “You’re highly educated, though, so thank you for your help.”

But what did I want?

I’d hoped dragging out my answer would give my brain a second to figure that out but I was kind of stuck. “Is there really a social option?”

Yes. But you need to tell me ideally what you’re looking for. I can’t tell you much to start with, so you need to be upfront with me.

He’d never told me anything, so I wasn’t surprised.

“Um, I guess ideally I’d like a Dom to do scenes with. I’d like to be tied up and have it be a sexual relationship in some way. I’m not…I’m not expecting him to wine and dine me—I’m not sure I have the patience for that—but some connection would be important.”

I’d done enough reading in books and online to know that not every Dom and sub partnership was romantic, but I wasn’t sure I could do it if it was just transactional.

“I don’t know what you mean by social setting. Is it like one of those speed dating events or do you know people who have a dungeon in their basement?”

I’d managed to find someone who’d gone to a local one a few years ago but the owners had moved and that group of friends had gone separate ways. There had to be others in the area but anyone who talked about that online quickly stopped.

Probably something that was Not-Henry’s fault but it wasn’t helping me find the right people to date.

That speed dating idea is interesting. I’ve got someone I’m going to mention that too, but in this case it’s bigger than a dungeon but still very private and exclusive.

That was interesting.

Who was he going to tell my speed dating idea too?

“Um, you know me pretty well at this point, so you know I won’t tell anyone about it.” We both knew I didn’t have that many people in my life. “And you watch my internet history enough to know if I accidentally overshare somehow.”

You’re right.

And?

He started typing several times but as soon as a random letter appeared it would disappear. After several rounds of vanishing letters, I pictured him sighing and saying fuck it.

What do you know about BDSM clubs?