Page 2 of Eclipse Bound (Galaxy Alien Mail Order Brides #7)

"Friendships? You mean mates." Solarestabinian's golden skin brightened to near-blinding. "With primitives who probably haven't even mastered basic light harvesting?"

"They have something called solar panels that convert sunlight into energy," Eclipsyionic offered, showing pictures of the panels.

"Primitives," Solarestabinian repeated with disgust.

"A species that adapts rather than evolves. Interesting," Luniaren mused, already calculating possibilities.

“I didn’t mean to imply they don’t evolve,” Eclipsyionic tried to correct. “Just not?—”

The two started arguing again.

Eclipsyionic held up his hands. He was about two seconds from throwing them both in a lava pit and calling the mission a failure before it even started.

“Whether you find brides is not a concern so much as you work together to complete this mission without harming or abandoning each other, and without alerting Earth authorities to your presence. The Peacemaker Council feels you need a common goal, one not rooted in fighting off planetary attackers on your homeworld. Mutually surviving alien territory is a good first step.”

“How far is this Earth?” Solarestabinian interjected.

“How long will this mission last?” Luniaren asked at the same time.

They glared at each other.

"The corporation's representatives will be here shortly to explain the details of your mission." Eclipsyionic checked the time, eager to give the two men over to their new handlers so he could go home. The representatives were late.

As if summoned by his impatience, the conference room's door slid open with a grinding noise and a puff of smoke.

Two short, stocky figures stumbled through, coughing and waving away the fumes.

Their yellow skin looked pale, like a Solarian left in the dark for too long.

Their spacesuits dripped with moisture, and they smelled like the dank waters of the night bogs.

"Apologies about that!" the first one called out cheerfully.

His mouth moved, but the words were a few seconds behind the motion.

"Slight miscalculation with the transport coordinates.

We went to a dark pool. Lovely spot if not for the large creature that ate our trainee Harris. I'm Gary, and this is Bob.”

“Blessings from Galactic Acid Melting Your Rides, and organs are strewn in the spaces!" Bob announced, beaming at them. His translator made his words sound crackly.

Gary smacked the back of his long hand against Bob’s thigh. “Forgive his damaged translator. He meant to say we're from Galaxy Alien Mail Order Brides, where we join hearts across the universes!"

“We turn women into red soup,” Bob added.

Solarestabinian and Luniaren exchanged a look that, for the first time in recorded history, held perfect agreement.

Another puff of smoke clouded the entryway. A third alien appeared next to his coworkers. Green oozed from his cut head, contrasting with the yellow of his skin. Eclipsyionic lowered his head and sighed. This was not going well at all.

“Harris!” Gary greeted, plastering on a strange smile for his customers. “We thought you were dead. Do try to keep up. Death is no excuse to skip out on your first sales meeting.”

“Execrates are forthwith,” Bob added. “Phalluses rise at the dawning.”

Harris tried to speak, but Gary cut him off.

“Harris, give Bob your translator,” Gary ordered.

As the two beings exchanged translators, Gary fumbled with a device cobbled together from spare parts.

Water dripped from the unit, and he shook it.

"Just let me pull up the presentation." He smacked the device against his palm several times until it sputtered to life, projecting a wobbly image onto the nearest wall.

Wearing the new translator, Harris held his injured head. “Pudding.”

"As you can see," Bob gestured to what was clearly an upside-down chart, "our success rate is outstanding."

His words were clear, but the tone of his voice projected a few octaves higher.

"That's the failure graph," Gary whispered. “You were supposed to delete that one.”

"Ah, yes." Bob quickly turned the device over and changed the screen. "Much better! Now, about our matching process?—"

"Your matching process appears to be broken," Solarestabinian interrupted, pointing to the projection where two Killians were attempting to stuff a protesting human female into a suitcase.

"That was an isolated incident," Bob assured them. "We've since implemented strict no-suitcase policies."

“Peccadillos pudding,” Harris inserted, not making sense.

"Very strict," Gary added, pushing Harris behind him. “Bob, turn that off. This is the wrong presentation. And we only lost track of those Killians for a few days. Barely even made the Earth news, and all females were recovered and their minds erased. They're fine.”

Eclipsyionic felt a pain forming in his head. "Perhaps we should focus on the diplomatic benefits of the?—"

"Oh yes!" Bob brightened. "We have an excellent package deal. Three trips to Earth for the price of two, plus complementary skin-suits and internal sound translators for blending in with the local population."

“Three?” Eclipsyionic shook his head in denial. “No. There are only two delegates.”

"Skin-suits?" Luniaren's voice dropped dangerously low with disgust. "You want us to look like the Earth humans?"

"Just a precaution," Gary said quickly. "Though the last batch did melt a bit in the sun. We're still working out some kinks, but if that happens, just tell the locals you were disfigured in a vat of acid accident. No problems. Some Earth women like deformed monsters. Just hand those women a book."

“We arranged for two transports,” Eclipsyionic insisted, gesturing at his two companions.

Bob and Gary shared a look.

“The signed contract said—” Bob began.

“We are not supposed to say the contract was already signed.” Gary frowned. “They need to think they had a say. Remember, they’re delicate beings.”

Solarestabinian and Luniaren share a look. No one had ever accused anyone on the planet of Zorveya of being delicate.

“Well, that ship has flown out of the quadrant, am I right?” Bob laughed.

He returned to the device and scrolled through more pictures.

Eclipsyionic watched as images of various aliens chased terrified Earth women, others proudly held them flailing upside down by their ankles in front of a body of water, and a wormlike creature with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth tried to bite off a woman’s head.

“Look in my direction,” Bob ordered.

A device flashed. Solarestabinian sparkled. Luniaren grunted and lifted his arms to block the light.

Eclipsyionic didn’t move. He had a bad feeling about this whole situation. This simple assignment was spiraling, and he could feel the edges of control slipping through his fingers like fractured starlight.

“There we are,” Gary said, smiling. A photo of Solarestabinian appeared on alien documents. Sparkles shone around his eyes like surprised fireworks. “We have already set up the necessary paperwork so you can assimilate easily into Earth culture. Your human name will be Solar.”

“My earned name is Solarestabinian. It means the great warrior of the light guard who fights for the external truth.”

“It means wormhole licker,” Luniaren muttered under his breath.

“Convenient, right? The Earth humans have a similar name. Solar, of the sun,” Gary said. “Very prestigious.”

“And popular,” Bob added. “Interesting fact, on Earth, you need what they call a surname, a second name belonging to your related family, so you do not mate with a biological replicant. Your surname will be Bound.”

“Solar Bound,” Gary interjected with excitement. “I picked it myself.”

Luniaren smirked. “That sounds accurate.”

Eclipsyionic grimaced. Bound was slang for a man caught self-pleasuring in the vine forest.

The image changed to Luniaren’s face. His eyes were closed, and his face was scrunched from the harsh flash.

“Meet Lunar Bound,” Gary announced.

“No,” Luniaren stated.

“Yes,” Gary insisted.

“No, I am not family to him,” Luniaren’s voice hardened in anger. A wave of energy came off him, and the shadows followed him as he aggressively challenged Gary.

“M-moving on,” Gary stammered, cowering from the sudden dark cloud looming over him. “Bob?”

“Eclipse Bound,” Bob fumbled to change the picture.

Eclipsyionic looked at his face transposed on the Earth documentation in horror. No part of him wanted to go on this trip. “That is not necessary. I will not be traveling to Earth. I?—”

“The contract says three,” Bob stated. “We’re to abduct any who do not go willingly.”

“You are the mediator who will report on the trip,” Gary said. “Your council was very clear about that. They would not sign the contract otherwise.”

“If we must go, you must go,” Solarestabinian smirked.

“Yes,” Luniaren agreed. “As you said, the fate of our planetary peace depends on it.”

This was what these two finally agreed on?

Eclipsyionic looked between the men. A star journey trapped with them?

Perhaps it would be better if he just jumped into a lava pit. It would make for an easier end.

"Wonderful!" Gary beamed. "So it's agreed."