Page 15 of Echoes of Us

"Eddie thinks everything is dramatic," Sarah shot back. "But yeah, okay, maybe I should've listened when he said it would melt my brain." She brightened suddenly. "Oh! But speaking of Eddie - guess what? He got me a summer research position with Dale Westwood."

Ashley's head snapped up. "Summer?"

"Yeah! Apparently, Dale needs research assistants for his quantum whatever project, and Eddie recommended me." Sarah grinned. "I get to stay on campus all summer. Granted, I'll be drowning in physics, but still."

The word 'summer' hit Ashley like a physical blow. She hadn't even thought about it - in a few weeks, everyone would leave campus. Cole would graduate, disappear for months, and then...

"You okay there, Ash?" Marie asked, peering at her over a tower of textbooks. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"I'm fine," Ashley said automatically. "Just... brain dead from studying. Seriously, how do people do this? Everything I thought I knew about psychology seems to have evaporated."

"That's because you're overthinking it," Sarah said, rolling onto her back and holding her physics notebook over her head. "Like this equation. If I stare at it long enough, it starts looking like ancient hieroglyphics."

"Pretty sure that's not how physics works," Marie teased.

"Pretty sure that's not how anything works," Ashley muttered, but her mind was racing. Summer research. Staying on campus. Access to the physics department. Access to...

"Do you think..." she started before she could stop herself. "I mean, would Dale maybe need more than one research assistant?"

The room went quiet. Sarah lowered her notebook slowly, eyebrows rising.

"You?" Marie asked carefully. "For physics research?"

"The same physics you've been complaining about all semester?" Sarah added. "The physics you said, and I quote, 'makes you want to drop out and become a professional dog walker'?"

Heat crept up Ashley's neck. "I'm not terrible at math..."

"Honey," Marie set down her highlighter, "there are easier ways to stalk Cole Westwood than torturing yourself with quantum mechanics all summer."

"I'm not stalking him!" Ashley protested, then quieter, "I just... I'm not ready to not see him for three months."

The room went quiet. Sarah sat up, her expression softening. "Ash... you've got it bad, don't you?"

Ashley pressed her palms against her eyes. They had no idea. How could she explain that every day without Cole felt like drowning? That watching him with other girls was killing her, but not seeing him at all might be worse.

"Hey." Marie slid down to sit beside her, bumping their shoulders together. "We get it. Well, we don't get why it has to be Cole Westwood of all people, but... we get it."

"God, at least pick the nice twin," Sarah teased, but her smile was kind. "I'll talk to Eddie. Maybe he can put in a word with Dale. But you're helping me with this psych final in exchange."

"Deal," Ashley said, managing a wobbly smile. "Though I'm not sure how much help I'll be. Who decided Maslow's hierarchy needed these many layers? And why does everything circle back to Freud?"

"Because Freud thought everything circled back to-" Marie started.

"Don't say it!" Sarah threw a highlighter at her. "I've heard enough about Freud's theories from Eddie. Did you know physics nerds love psychoanalyzing everything? Like, everything."

"Speaking of analyzing," Marie's eyes gleamed wickedly, "let's talk about your sudden interest in spending summer with said physics nerds."

Sarah's face flamed red. "This is about research experience! And grad school applications! And-"

"And Eddie's very blue eyes?" Ashley suggested innocently, grateful for the chance to tease someone else.

"I hate you both," Sarah declared, burying her face in her textbook. "See if I help you get that research position now."

"No take-backs," Ashley said quickly. "You promised. And I'll... I'll teach you everything about cognitive biases."

"Starting with projection?" Marie ducked as Sarah aimed another highlighter at her head.

"Children," Ashley scolded, fighting a grin. "Some of us are trying to study here."

"Says the one who started this whole conversation," Sarah grumbled, but she was smiling too.

They settled back into studying, the room quiet except for the scratch of pencils and occasional frustrated sighs.

Ashley stared at her notes, the words finally starting to make sense again.

Maybe she could do this - the finals, the summer research, all of it.

She had these two idiots in her corner, after all.

"Hey," Sarah said suddenly, not looking up from her physics problems. "Whatever happens with the research thing... you know we've got your back, right?"

Ashley's throat tightened. "Yeah," she managed. "I know."

Marie reached over and squeezed her hand. "Even if your taste in men is questionable."

"So questionable," Sarah agreed solemnly.

Ashley laughed, really laughed, for what felt like the first time in days. The sound surprised her - she'd forgotten she could feel this light, even with everything else weighing on her.

"Okay, okay," she waved her textbook like a peace flag. "Less judging my life choices, more studying."

She bent over her notes, but her mind kept drifting to the physics building, to Dale's gentle nature and heartwarming smile. Those eyes were almost a perfect replica of her husband's.

Maybe if she understood Dale better, if she’d get close enough, she'd understand what broke in Cole when he died. What turned him from this wild, reckless boy into the man she married?

And maybe, just maybe, if she got close enough, she could stop it from happening at all.

But that was a thought for another day. Right now, she had finals to survive.