Page 40
His room was adorned with mahogany and dark curtains that were parted to let in the moonlight.
He dragged a wooden chair beside the fireplace and I took a seat, waiting while he fetched his grooming blades.
North dabbed shaving cream against my jaw, covering my stubble before beginning the process of scraping it off with a sharp blade.
“You’d look like a wolverine if it wasn’t for me,” North jibed. “How long would you let it grow before you cut it?”
“Until it hindered my fighting skills, I suppose,” I said, having no care for such things outside of practicality.
But North always ensured I looked as presentable as he did.
I’d never cared for my looks in the way he seemed to.
The way he checked his reflection several times a day had never made sense to me, but much didn’t make sense to me in this world.
Mirelle had asked me if I envied North, describing the feeling of a burning want for something I didn’t have. But I’d never experienced that. Not toward him, or any other Fae.
Once I was clean shaven, he started on trimming my hair, styling it in that way he preferred on me, with my hair slightly longer on the left than the right.
North took his time over it, making it perfect - just like he made everything he did perfect.
He was precise to the point of unnecessary, but I didn’t complain.
I never grew tired of his fussing, nor impatient for him to finish.
I knew of these feelings, thanks to him and Mirelle’s teachings, and from my own observations too.
But when it came down to it, the only real emotions I could recall experiencing in recent history pivoted entirely around my Fearsire.
Rage. That was its name. Yes, I had witnessed plenty of Fae descend into the madness of that feeling, but never once had I felt it myself before her. Not since… well, a time long lost. A time that might as well have been a dream for all the use it did me now.
“What’s this?” North noted the scroll sticking out of my pocket, claiming it for himself and unrolling it.
He clucked his tongue, eyes darkening as he read the words on it.
“She writes to you only, as usual. And she signs off with ‘look out for your brother’, how fucking thoughtful of her.” He passed the scroll back to me, shaking his head and I tried to work out what he was feeling.
“Does she not realise it’s me looking out for you more often than not?
But the courtesy of a letter fails her when it comes to me.
It could have been carried here in the claws of the same damn raven, yet she scorns me as always. ”
“I do not believe she wishes to scorn you,” I said.
“That’s precisely what she wishes,” he griped then sighed, leaning down to check the length of my hair. “She will not come between us.”
“Never,” I agreed, reaching up to clasp his arm and squeezing tightly, giving him what I knew he needed. Mirelle had named this action reassurance and encouraged me to offer it to North whenever his voice grew louder or his face became red.
He looked down at me, some emotion brightening his eyes. I could usually spot the light and the dark in his feelings, but it was so very difficult to discern them beyond that.
“The world might not ever understand you, Kai, and fuck, maybe I don’t myself sometimes.
But I know I love you and you love me back.
That’s all that matters when it comes to family anyway, right?
I can’t wait to rush into battle with you at my side, gutting ourselves some Stonebreakers, Skyforgers and Raincarvers as fully fledged warriors of Pyros.
Stars, those days are closing in on us, and we will be gods out there on those fields of ruin.
” He pressed a hard kiss to my forehead then went back to snipping my hair until he was satisfied.
I unfurled the scroll and read my mother’s words, scrawled there in a sharp and efficient script.
Kaiser,
Fair wishes from Cinder Vale, I anticipate your return greatly.
A warm welcome shall await you at the palace when-
The letter went on but I ran a thumb over it, casting a flame against my skin and trailing it over the letter, revealing the true message beneath.
The Tome of Eventide Brews, Page 113
I let the fire consume the letter entirely and North grabbed for it as it crumbled to ash on the floor.
“Nice. I wasn’t going to read the concealed message when you were done or anything,” he said, a dry intonation to his voice.
“That is fortunate, considering it is now soot.”
“Sarcasm, Kai,” North said, a smile lifting the corner of his mouth. “You’ve got to work on that one. Did our mother have anything important to say?”
“She said there will be a celebration upon our return.”
“In her actual message,” he growled.
“She sent me the name of a book.”
“What for?” he demanded.
“For things better left unsaid,” I stated.
North let out a heavy huff while I thought on Mirelle’s note.
It was an answer to a question I had sent her many moons ago and I intended to act on it as soon as the right opportunity arose.
I would read the Tarot cards this night and study the alignment of the stars to ensure I executed my plan at the prime moment.
I rose to my feet, heading out of North’s quarters and he chased after me, following me back to my own room.
“So you’re just not going to say anything else?” he muttered as we stepped through the door.
“I say nothing in order to protect you. You know this, freyin.” I looked at him and the tension in his brow softened.
“I suppose,” he murmured. “I just wish our mother would confide in me the way she clearly confides in you.”
An urgent tug in my chest told me my Fearsire was being drawn to me to fulfil the needs of the soul-tie and feed me her terrors.
She would come. She had resisted it the past few weeks, but I could sense the roaring of the Nightfire in her veins and the demands waiting to be met.
They would be eventually. Her resistance only made her suffer, but Everest Arcadia was a stubborn creature who preferred to fight me at every turn rather than accept her fate.
“You need to leave. My Fearsire is coming,” I told North.
“She is?” he asked. “Are you going to torture her?”
“No.”
“Will you get in her head and rake through her nightmares, reliving each one until she’s squealing like a piglet?” he asked hopefully.
“Perhaps.”
“Do you ever hurt her? Cut her? Chase her? Make her think you’re going to slit her little Raincarver throat until she’s screaming for help?”
“No.”
“Surely you terrorise her? Make her fear peak until she is so afraid for her pathetic life that she’s begging you to let her go.” He grinned widely, all animal in his nature.
“She does not beg.”
“Then you’re not trying hard enough, freyin,” he laughed, slapping a hand down on my shoulder. “Let me stay here and I will have her begging within the hour. I’ll feed you her fear until you’re plump with it.”
“You cannot stay.”
“You’re no fun.” He shoved me – an action I had never quite understood when it came from him, but Mirelle named it affection.
“I’ll dangle her from the chandelier and snap at her ankles in my Wolf form.
I’ll get a jar full of fire ants and pour them in her hair.
I’ll tickle her with my favourite knife, I’ll slap her with a glug fish, I’ll shift only my ass end into a Wolf and-”
“You will do nothing because you will not be here.”
North narrowed his eyes at me, lines forming tightly around his mouth. “You don’t fuck her, do you?”
“No.”
North stared into my eyes as if he was hunting for something.
“You’re a soulless bastard, Kai. Sometimes I’m not sure the lengths you would go to if I wasn’t there to keep you in check.
But I’ve never seen you put your cock near the enemy.
That’s a line we don’t cross because that’s for sickos and freaks.
And we’re not either of those. You know that, right? ”
“I know that.”
He ran his tongue across his teeth, regarding me then breaking into a lopsided grin.
“Good, you crazy fucker. Now go enjoy your torture session. Give me the details later. And if you change your mind on wanting some help, you know where to find me.” He flicked me on the ear then strode from my quarters.
I raised a hand to my ear, trying to name the emotion behind why he had done that, rifling through their names in my head.
Anger. Joy. Pride. Doubt.
A bang came at my window and I turned to find Everest pressing her middle finger to it, her lips a taut line.
I beckoned her inside, rising to my feet and sensing the low reserves of my magic. I needed this after the hours I had spent training today. I would recharge my power by feasting on her fears.
Calcifiend flew down from where he had been sleeping up on the balcony rail in front of the second floor lounge, chirruping in greeting as I opened the window and let the Raincarver in.
Her clothes, ever unusual and conforming to no fashion, were darkest purple.
They were stitched with silver thread, the skirt short at the front and long at the back, and her jacket was nothing less than interesting, with meaningless frills and ornaments that held no purpose in battle that I could surmise.
I had never seen a Fae wear items like this and I deeply struggled to understand the intention behind them.
Her hair was a thick mass of dark curls and her eyes were a shade of brown that was almost metallic in quality. Eyes that kept my attention far longer than most eyes did.
“Fuck you. Fuck your soul-tie. Fuck your Nightfire. Fuck your mother. Oh, and fuck your mother again for good luck,” Everest growled, stalking toward me.
She liked swearing. In this language and in old Cascalian too. I was fairly confident she was experiencing anger right now.
Table of Contents
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- Page 40 (Reading here)
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