Page 24

24

T he boat rocked softly as Mael rolled over in bed and sought Echo out, eyes closed. His hand met empty bed—and he hated to find empty bed first thing in the morning. Mael frowned, curious where his mate was. He sat up and rubbed his face, trying to wake up.

The sound of retching came from the bathroom.

Oh, no…

Mael peeked into the bathroom and found Echo hovered over the toilet.

“Hey,” Mael called from the door.

Echo jumped a bit. He glanced over a shoulder, face pale. “Hey. Good mor ? —”

He whipped his head back and retched again.

Mael crossed the bathroom. He knelt behind Echo and pulled back his mate’s hair, curling one arm around Echo’s chest for support. Echo listed a bit to the side, clinging to Mael’s arm.

“Thanks… but I think I’m done,” Echo whispered a few seconds later.

“Has this been happening for a while?” Mael asked.

“Every morning for about six weeks.” He rested his head on Mael’s chest. “The baby sites say it usually stops around month four, so I have another month to go.”

Mael pressed a kiss to the top of Echo’s head. “There’s nothing a doctor could help with? Medicine or something?”

“Not really,” Echo said. “I’d just throw up a pill. There’s a suppository they give humans, but I was told that our slick prevents us from absorbing all of it.” He sighed. “It usually passes pretty quickly. I’ll be fine in a minute or two.”

Echo lifted his body off Mael and leaned his upper body over his knees.

Mael rubbed Echo’s back and frowned when he felt his mate stiffen under his touch.

“Are you touch sensitive when you’re sick?” Mael asked.

Echo shook his head. “No.” He dragged himself to his feet before Mael could get up to help him and walked to the sink to brush his teeth and wash his face.

Once Echo was done, he scooped his mate into his arms and headed for bed.

“I can walk,” Echo murmured.

Mael eyed him but kept on walking.

“I said I can walk,” Echo said, his tone unusually firm.

Mael frowned. He allowed Echo to slide down his body, feeling as if he’d crossed a line he’d not seen nor understood. “I was only trying to help.”

“I’m not weak. I don’t need you carrying me around,” Echo murmured.

How many times had he carried Echo in his arms? It had never been a problem before. “I never said you were weak, nor do I think you are.”

Echo closed his eyes a moment. When he reopened them, he had a strained expression.

Mael searched his mate’s face, trying to find clues as to what was happening. Something was different. Had their time apart caused too much distance? The day before had been fine—before the cops had shown up—so he didn’t think it was their time apart. He reached out and cupped Echo’s face trying to bridge whatever gap was there.

Echo flinched at his touch.

Mael held his breath a moment, cold coursing through his veins. “Is this about yesterday?”

“No,” Echo said.”

“What’s going on here?” Mael asked. “Why are you recoiling away from me?”

Echo stared at him, silent a few seconds. “Remember when you said… I was femme, you were masc, so we fit… and that you’d not inherently changed who you were?”

Mael’s frown deepened. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I love my feminine side, but there are rare days where it’s just not there.” He glanced down at his swollen stomach. “Even with this.” He lifted his gaze, capturing Mael’s. “It’s not often, but… it happens. Today I woke up, and she’s just not around.”

Mael nodded, though he was still a bit confused. “Okay… but I don’t get why that’s causing you to pull away from me.”

“You said I was femme, you were masc… so we fit.” Echo paused, appearing pained. “Do I still fit on the days when I’m not femme?”

Mael blinked a few times. “Of course you do.”

Echo moved closer to him. “Are you sure? Because I don’t want to cross the line or freak you out.”

“What line?”

“This is the worst fucking day for this to happen,” Echo snapped. “We’re about to go stand in front of the council and need to be a united front.” He winced. “But can we be united if I’m not the person you want beside you?”

“Baby, I don’t understand.”

“It feels like you’ve been using my femininity to shield yourself from having to face the fact you’re in a relationship with a man. It hasn’t been a problem until today when I wake up and there’s no femme here.”

Suddenly, Echo’s concerns became crystal clear in his mind. Mael closed his eyes for two seconds, dragging in a shaky breath.

“Actually, Havoc and I had a discussion along similar lines when we stopped for a break a few weeks ago. He told me my theory was full of shit and to stop seeing you as the girl in the relationship because it was, and I quote, heteronormative bullshit.”

After that conversation, Mael had reflected on that conversation for a good, long while. He’d realized he had used Echo’s femininity to shield himself from the truth. He’d avoided having to take a long, hard look at the fact he had changed. Claiming he hadn’t had been a lie. A lie he’d told himself so he didn’t have to think too hard about the seismic shift that had occurred the minute Echo had entered his life.

Havoc had helped him see that. He was a man… in love with a man.

Echo’s blurred gender lines didn’t change that fact. Having suggested they did had been disrespectful to his mate.

“Do you remember when Tempest asked if you were gay or bi… and you claimed you were Echosexual?”

Mael winced.

“It felt like a denial,” Echo said. “Like you couldn’t let go of your straight identity and see you have changed. I’ve feared challenging that. If I did, would I push you away? So I stayed silent because I didn’t want to lose you.”

“So you’ve lived in fear… Worried that a day like today might shatter my illusions and destroy what we have.”

Echo nodded, a shine of tears in his eyes.

Pain lanced his chest at the thought he’d hurt Echo because of his unwillingness to accept the change within.

“I planned to talk about my conversation with Havoc, but I wanted us to have a little bit of time to reconnect before I did. He helped me sort some shit out. The long journey gave me a lot of time to consider what he said. How I feel. And I realize now that I took the easy road out. I’m sorry that I hurt you by doing that.”

Echo stared at him, silent. Anticipating. What? Mael wasn’t completely sure. He felt like anywhere he stepped he might fuck things up more.

“I basically inserted you into the woman’s spot in my straight relationship fantasy instead of moving myself into our gay one. That wasn’t fair to you. I hate that you’ve been living in fear of this moment, wondering if I’d see reason or reject you.”

He inched closer and slid his hand behind his mate’s neck, cradling the back of Echo’s head. “I’m so sorry, Echo. Can you ever forgive me?”

Tears welled in Echo’s eyes. “There’s nothing to forgive. I’m just glad you finally got here.”

Mael dragged Echo into his arms, squeezing his mate tight. He’d dreamt of Echo against him on the long nights in the dark waters of the sea, the scent of his hair, the smoothness of his skin. Mael inhaled deep, committing it to memory once more after their time apart.

“Coming to terms with this kind of change, one that completely shifts how you perceive yourself, can’t be easy,” Echo murmured against his chest, the words vibrating into him. “But I feared ignoring it too long might destroy us in the end. Either you would reject me, or I’d grow resentful for not being seen for who I was. I didn’t want either of those to happen.”

“Nor would I,” Mael murmured. “I love you, Echo. Masc, femme, wherever you are on the gender spectrum—I’m there, by your side, for the rest of our days.”

Echo lifted on his tiptoes, seeking a kiss. Mael met him halfway, swooping down to press his lips to his mate’s.

“I need to stop by the house this morning before we go to see council.” He chuckled. “The clothes I brought are a bit too frilly for me today.”

“Okay,” Mael said, smiling. “No problem. I can aim us toward the dock now.”

He stood staring at Echo a moment, unmoving. Their conversation was over, yet it didn’t feel quite finished. He was scared to reach out to his mate, worried he’d be the one to cross a line. He didn’t know how to handle days like that.

“What’s wrong?” Echo asked.

“Are there different rules for days like this? Things I should or shouldn’t do?”

Echo sighed. “I’m still the same person. The person who loves you and wants to be loved by you. There aren’t different rules.”

“I’m just checking. Not like there’s a manual, you know. I’m learning as I go, and I don’t want to fuck up again.”

Echo chuckled. “Would you like a hug? A kiss?”

“Very much.”

A slow smile crossed Echo’s lips. “Then kiss me.”

Maelstrom grinned. “Yesss, sir.”

He leaned in for a kiss and quickly realized he enjoyed kissing his masc mate as much as the femme one. When they parted, he felt their connection grow even deeper. “You said this was the worst day for this, but maybe it isn’t.” He caressed the side of Echo’s face. “Hopefully the doubts are now gone, and we can face this firing squad together. And win.”

Echo smiled up at him. “We’re gonna kick ass.”