Page 23 of Echo (A Monster’s Prey #2)

What was I supposed to do?

In a lot of ways, he reminded me of all the things I loved about my first husband. He also reminded me of what I hated about Mark.

No, I wasn’t being fair to Echo. The shit with Mark was still so fresh. I hadn’t taken the time to heal, and my baggage was pouring over.

Was I making excuses for a monster now?

I rubbed my eyes, leaning onto the kitchen table, where I’d sat for hours already. I was doomed to live in this cycle of letting bad men rule my life unless I took definitive action to change who I was.

If I let myself get any deeper, I’d find myself with my heart ripped out of my chest. Again.

My eyes went to a picture across the way. It was of my grandma Ruby, my mom, and me as a baby. I realized that it was probably here in the kitchen for Pearl to stew in her rage, but my eyes focused on myself.

What would the little girl inside me have to say about all of this?

I remember once when I was five, being pissed at my dad. He was abandoning me with Grandma yet again. I yelled at him in the front yard, that I wanted to stay with him and I hated how he left me all of the time.

“Do you even love me?” I screamed at him as he climbed on his bike.

“What kind of question is that?” He’d frowned in disapproval.

“You’re always leaving me.”

“I always come back.”

“I’m not as important.” I loved my father, but I was never his top priority, chasing his demons was. Even as a little girl, I understood that, and it hurt so much it made it hard to breathe. What I needed wasn’t important, his bloodlust was.

All I wanted was to be the most important thing in his world. That little girl would weep if she knew that I continued to accept that I was second priority my entire life. That I’d grown so complacent with the behavior that I let men treat me however, as long as I felt loved.

I was the common denominator here. If I was tired of living like this, it was up to me to fix it.

I salted the windows and doors, and burned sage candles at each one. My heart ached and loneliness set in as I did it, making my body heavy. Did I even deserve better?

Don’t weenie out now, Madison. It’s time to create some change.

I needed the feed guy’s positive energy in my life. But first, I needed to fix myself.

When night fell, a knock came on the front door. Safe to assume, he couldn’t enter at will anymore.

“Go away,” I yelled.

“Little Rabbit.” It sounded like he was scolding a troublesome toddler. Another blatant reminder of Mark. I rolled my eyes. “What are you doing?”

“You are no longer welcome in my home.”

“Have I offended you?” he asked seriously, and it would be so easy to fall for it. Take some emotional vulnerability and pair it with a mind blowing orgasm, it was no wonder how he sedated me into compliance.

“Yes.”

“How? Allow me the chance to fix it.”

“You don’t own me,” I told him.

A pregnant pause came from the other side. “I do.”

“I’m not a bartering chip to settle old vendettas. I’ll do what I want, and I don’t want you.” I wasn’t complying with any man anymore. Whether they were monster or human shaped. I came here to escape, not to fall into another pit of bullshit.

“Where is this coming from?”

“A healthy, well-adjusted place.” One that wanted to be those things, at least.

“Little Rabbit, you aren’t going anywhere.” He said each word slowly, as if I were too stupid to understand. “I won’t let you.”

“I’m not leaving, but I am not your companion.”

A growl of frustration rumbled on the other side of the door. “You enjoy me as much as I enjoy you. What is the point of what you are doing?”

“I have tastes that aren’t good for me. How many times can I make the exact same mistake before I recognize that I create my own problems?”

The door rattled as if he’d thrown his body against it, but I’d seen his strength to know that wasn’t the case. He attempted to speak, but all that came out was a series of growls. Even without words, I knew he was cussing me out.

A loud breath on the other side later and he finally said something I could understand. “Do not compare me to that weak man. I feed off fear because I have to. He fed off of fear because he had to create the illusion of having value.”

“And yet I’m so lucky that you like me.” I spat the words out.

The growling on the other side stopped, and I found myself waiting for his response. It was foolish to hope that he’d make it right. To tell me that he’d made a mistake or that I’d taken it the wrong way. To be man enough to admit he was wrong and apologize.

“You are,” he said as if the source of my anger confused him.

“Right.” Hope springs eternal misery. “Have a good night, Echo.”

“Madison,” he hissed. The displeasure rumbling in his chest made my entire body stiffen. The fact that he actually used my name added another layer of a threat. “You’ve already let me in the house. You can’t keep me out now.”

“Then walk in.”

“I’m going to give you time to evaluate your decisions. I hope that when I return tomorrow that you see that you are being irrational.”

Anger poured over me like hot oil, easing the hurt inside me. I went to the door. “And I hope you realize that you are a dick!”