Page 22 of Dyana (Love in the Apocalypse #3)

Chapter eight

Dyana

I was halfway down the mountain before my anger subsided enough to realize where my subconscious had taken me.

It made sense to go home given all the feelings Jack had dredged up.

It wasn’t just that I was angry with him; I was also hurt and disappointed.

For some reason, I had expected Jack’s reaction to be instantaneous, and when he hesitated, it felt like a kick in the gut.

I needed his validation to silence the voices in my head, and his hesitation proved they were right.

Of course, they were right. Now that I had cooled down, I could see that I was more mad at myself than at Jack.

Why was it so easy for me to become such a horrible person?

God, by the time I found Cora, human life had lost all value.

I rated people based on their usefulness to me, and they no longer mattered if they didn’t rate very highly.

And if they died to get me what I needed to survive, so be it.

They achieved their full potential, and at least their struggle to survive would come to an end.

How many lives have marked my soul? It wasn’t something I wanted to think about. The number was too fucking high. But as I walked toward town, I couldn’t help but picture the sweet face of the only friend I had made since the outbreak before I found Cora.

Past

For the first time since the apocalypse started, I felt safe.

It had been two years since the church, and six months since I’d seen any sign of Harris or Tommy.

I knew they still had to be out there, but they hadn’t caught up with me again.

I’d also taken a new name, which contributed to them not picking up my trail.

It also protected those who might have seen me from their evil ways.

I never made it to Wyoming. After leaving the church, I had intended to go to Wyoming.

The plan was to get the hell out of the state and put as much distance between myself and them as possible.

But if Harris and Tommy followed me to my uncle’s and I brought his wrath down on my family, I’d never forgive myself.

That, and if I got there and they hadn’t survived, I wasn’t sure how I would react.

I decided it was better not to go and allow the fantasy that they were alive and well to continue.

Schrodinger’s cat and all that. So, instead of going north, I went east. I jumped between different groups for a while, trying to stay ahead of my pursuers.

I now found myself on a charming farm in eastern Colorado.

It wasn’t just a group of people, but an entire community of nearly a hundred people.

I was shocked to see so many people together when I first arrived.

And they were all happy! They accepted me quickly without any questions, and I was content to fade into the background, rather than resorting to my usual tricks.

I was tired, and it felt nice to simply exist, almost like a vacation.

Sherry was about ten years older than me, and had quickly taken me under her wing.

She was the epitome of ‘we listen and we don’t judge.

’ Opening up to her about my past had been as easy as breathing, and she never once judged me, even though I didn’t tell her everything.

Some things were too shameful to admit. I watched my carefree friend as she drove us down the road.

Sherry hadn’t shared much about her past with me yet, and I wouldn’t push her to.

She would share if and when she was ready.

It didn’t really matter anyway. Nothing from our previous lives mattered anymore.

“Why are you staring at me?” Sherry yelled so I could hear her over the wind. We were in a soft-top convertible with the top down. It was a perfect blue-skied day, and the sun felt amazing on my skin. We were on our way to the lake to swim and pick berries.

“I was just thinking how lucky I was to have a friend like you,” I replied honestly.

“You’re such a dork sometimes,” she replied. She rolled her eyes and floored it, shooting us down the empty highway.

When we got to the lake, we set up a blanket to sunbathe on and shed our clothes.

Having a bathing suit felt like such a luxury.

We kept our weapons close in case a zombie stumbled upon us, but everything seemed peaceful.

After a quick dip in the lake, we picked some berries and then lay down to enjoy a lazy afternoon, snacking on them.

“Hey, Queen?” Sherry asked.

“Hmm?” I hummed.

“Are you ever going to tell me your name? Or where you are from?”

“It’s better for you if I don’t,” I told her honestly, rolling onto my side to look at her. “I’ve already explained that bad people are looking for me. They’ve killed people protecting me before. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“We won’t let anyone hurt you, Queen,” Sherry replied sincerely.

“Believe me, you’d be better off if you did.” I rolled to my back again, ending the conversation. The less she knew, the better. One day, I’ll be able to tell my entire story, but until then, I’d prefer to forget it all happened.

Some time later, I got up to relieve myself a short distance away. As I returned, I slowed when I heard voices. I moved through the vegetation quietly to see what was going on and felt my heart stop when I got close enough to see Harris standing over Sherry with a gun pointed at her head.

“I told you, I don’t know any Dyana,” Sherry said.

“I know she’s here,” Harris replied. “I recognize the pistol beside you that you’re inching your hand closer to. As a warning, I wouldn’t if I were you. You’ll have a bullet in the head before you can point it.”

“There are probably thousands, if not more, of these guns in circulation,” Sherry argued. “All you’ve proven is that we have the same gun. That’s not a very big clue, Sherlock.”

Harris pistol-whipped Sherry, causing blood to splatter across the blanket. “I’m going to enjoy teaching you some fucking respect,” he growled. “Now where the fuck is Dyana?”

Fuck. I needed to get us out of this before Harris killed Sherry, but I didn’t know how. I could circle to the car parked just out of sight. I could try to sneak up behind him. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to choose a path.

“I FOUND HER!” Tommy yelled behind me seconds before his arms wrapped around me. Son of a bitch! It wasn’t that I forgot about Tommy; I just assumed that since he wasn’t there, he must have become zombie food at some point.

I threw my head back and heard the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking as my head made contact with his face. Tommy yelled in pain, and time seemed to slow as Harris met my eyes through the trees. His sinister smile widened as he pulled the trigger without hesitation.

“Noooo!” I screamed as Sherry’s body slammed back to the blanket she was on. I turned on Tommy in a rage. I knew I had to move quickly because every second I spent fighting him was another second closer Harris was getting.

Tommy was still howling about his nose, so I shoved the heel of my hand into the broken nose to increase the pain as I wrestled the gun from his grasp.

As soon as I had it, I put a bullet in his head: one down, one to go.

A flash of pink caught my attention. I stooped down to grab Sherry’s keys from Tommy’s pocket and then ran without looking back.

I didn’t need to. I could hear Harris chasing after me.

I shot behind me as I got to the car and jumped over the door, hoping to force Harris to slow down.

Either it worked, or he ran for his car so that I didn’t get too big a head start on him, because I was able to drive away without issue.

As much as I wanted to go back to the farm, I couldn’t lead Harris there.

Luckily, I always kept my bag with me wherever I went, in case I needed to split, so the only thing I left behind were the people.

It must have been my lucky day because whenever I checked my rearview mirror, all I saw was asphalt.

I didn’t know how I managed to escape him again, but I was more interested on how the fuck he found me.

Present

A zombie pulled me from my thoughts as I crossed the bridge into town.

I didn’t break my stride as I pulled my knife out and stabbed it in the head as I passed by.

Over the past year, we had worked to clear out the town, but the zombies still found their way here once in a while.

The numbers were low enough that they were manageable unless a horde moved through.

It had been a few months since I came to town.

I didn’t like it. Not only wasn’t it as safe as staying on the mountain, but it didn’t hold any good memories for me anymore.

A cloud of despair hung over the town from the loss of my family.

But now, with my past jumping into my future, I needed the space to think, and when you’re in the middle of an emotional crisis, where better to go than home?

I enter my house and look around at the graveyard of memories and forgotten dreams. I saw my mom standing at the stove, making pancakes and hot chocolate on a cold winter morning.

My dad, yelling at the TV as he cheered on his favorite Denver team.

Kelly, stealing my clothes and makeup, then denying it.

And Jack.

Jack, begging Mom to make her famous peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

Jack, on the couch beside Dad, yelling right along with him.

Jack, teasing Kelly and telling her how pretty she was just to make her blush.

Jack, sneaking in through my bedroom window late at night.

Our hushed kisses and love making as we tried not to wake my parents down the hall.

Falling asleep in his arms and waking in the early morning to his goodbye kiss before he snuck back through the window.

Jack was so much a part of my old life, of who I used to be.

He was the only person alive who knew my family, made memories with them, and loved them.

Jack was my last tangible connection to them.

And he would hate me if he knew the truth—if he knew everything I had done and the person I had become.

A sound from the basement caught my attention.

I wasn’t alone. Weapons out, I cautiously descended the stairs.

I relaxed when I didn’t immediately see a threat.

A person or zombie would find it hard to hide from view.

I stood at the bottom of the steps, waiting for the sound again so that I could track it.

I made a beeline for the opposite wall when I heard something struggling.

It was probably a wild rodent of some kind, but I was surprised to find a kitten tangled up in some ribbon.

“Where did you come from?” I crooned to the little black kitten with white tipped ears.

He hissed and swatted at me as I reached down and untangled him.

Once he realized he was free, he calmed down and purred in my hands.

“Well, aren’t you the cutest?” I said as I went back upstairs.

I sat on the living room floor with him in my lap as I dug through my bag and pulled out the food I had packed.

I ripped off a piece of jerky and held it out to him.

The kitten sniffed the meat and then scarfed it down with adorable little growls, nearly taking off a chunk of my fingers.

“Calm down, killer,” I laughed. “Hmm. Should that be your name? Killer, the fiercest kitty in town. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

The sun beginning to peek through the window woke me up, and I lay there in the early morning quiet, pondering my predicament.

I saw the way all three men looked at me.

It would be so fucking easy to wrap all of them around my thumb.

But I didn’t want to be that person anymore.

I didn’t want to use sex to ensure my security.

And sure, the simple solution would be to just not, except I couldn’t remember the last time I had sex that wasn’t purpose-driven.

I’m not even sure I’m capable of those emotions anymore.

Capable or not, I still had to go back. Cora would be worried sick, and I didn’t want to stress my friend out any more than I already had.

Maybe on the walk home, I’d figure out what the hell to do about the three men in my tower.

I packed up my things, scooped up Killer, who spent the night sleeping on my chest, and tucked him into my backpack.

He didn’t seem to mind as he curled into a ball and went back to sleep, unconcerned as I zipped him in.

On a whim, I decided to make a detour on my way home and stopped by the park. I sat by the pond and allowed myself to reminisce about simpler times—sweeter times—when a girl loved a boy and their future together was bright.